Thursday, September 25, 2008

in class....I'm weird

In Mom/Baby class we are talking about the oh-so- interesting neonate....please don't get me wrong, I'm okay with babies...I have had them, vaginally if you must know....really big babies....I'm just not so interested in the slumbering neonate, with rubber bones. Give me a sassy 4 year old, riding her tryke down the living room stairs, now, that is interesting. (Back to topic)

In the class we are forced to move at an incredibly slow pace to accommodate men who have no idea where babies come from, nursing students who have not a lick of common sense, and the few who can barely keep themselves together thinking about a baby sucking on a tit. You know, because for some people, maybe nursing school is similar to "rocket science"...I don't know....

As, my mind wondered away from how to properly hold a baby and how to "burrito wrap" I started laughing to myself. ~~~~~~~ The first week I brought Ilin home he had his own bassinet, but occasionally I would fall asleep feeding. Normal. One night, I was having the absolute best sleep, you know, that heavy, body becomes one with the mattress sleep...and was dreaming so wonderfully...... Puppies, kittens, warm blankets, the dreamy dream of sleep...."what is that little sound? Puppy whimpering?" I slowly awaken to The Other Half, saying," The Baby...Honey, the BABY>>>" Thinking to myself...what Baby? all I hear is little puppy sounds and cat mews...Baby???? Oh Shit!!!! I just had a baby 2 days ago and where is it? Where am I, What the F...... ?? Looking desperately around for the stolen neonate....I roll my heavy self over towards the sounds coming from the side of the bed....Oh My GOD!!!!! (insert little mewing baby noises here) I peek down the side of the bed....and there, all "burrito wrapped" in his little NeeNee is Ilin, sucking his fist and patiently waiting for the person who is supposed to protect him, to rescue him from the floor under the bed. He had apparently just slowly wiggle wobbled down the side of the bed next to the wall with no PLOP...just an easy descent. Interesting how things work.

Lord have Mercy!!! Really??? I remember thinking, "this is it...if this child lives to be 1 year old it will be amazing. " Things change, people change, priorities change, and for me...most of level of sleep changed. It has never been the same since that day. I still hear if Ilin farts in his sleep 2 doors down the hall....I can hear Olive's feet hit the ground when she wakes up in the middle of the night to go potty. Never again will I fail my kids in the "Lost in Deep Sleep" mode.

Which brings me back to Mom/Baby class....ZZZzzzZZZZzzzz....."never shake a baby" blah blah...."Support head" ......"No need for Rectal Thermometers"......ZZZZzzzzZZZZZZzzzz
(I just like this picture...I did NOT do this)

Please remember to use safety restraints in stroller...


Lapetitemort said...

Ok, those pictures are just scary. And it does sound like common sense stuff, and I don't even have kidlings!


bmommy said...

lapetitemort, all common sence goes out the window when your totally sleep deprived and have a screaming meeme to deal with. All jokes aside though, that`s pretty scary and i would have probably freaked out.

Anonymous said...

As I sit behind you in class---I had no idea. It is rocket science. Isn't it?