Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Issues...pitiful, pitiful issues

Issue #1: My 5 year old hates me...Last night I went to bed in tears because for about the 25th time she has told me, "Momma, I wish you looked like her:"


her:

and yes, Her (my bestest girl ,Synda)

I know, I know...she's 5...she doesn't know what she is saying...I don't care...it sucks.
I know everyone in blog world lives these perfect enchanted lives where they have all day to go to the Organic Farmer's Market, french braid their daughter's hair, make blueberry crumble from scratch, create some sort of fabulous Etsy creation, and have dinner on the table for their husband who arrives home promptly by 5 pm from his perfect job, so that he can change clothes and help his family with arts and crafts before dinner.

My life is NOT that.
I bust my ass...I'm not always happy, I barely have time to take a crap, my 12 year old (who for the record, doesn't hate me yet, but will) has to help me vacuum and do the dishes(he's a boy), and I have had dried up cat vomit on my back porch under the swing for 4 days...I'm waiting for the rain to wash it away.
I have zits...I'm 40....
My 5 year old wishes she was with a different mom, well at least a different looking mom.
She even said to Daddoo, " Daddoo, wouldn't You like Mommy to be prettier?"
BAAAMMM!! ZING!!!!
ouch

Why does this bother me...?
I'm not sure. Maybe its a combination of things.
Maybe it's the recollection of my Mom telling me, "Honey, You are beautiful on the inside."
What kind of bull shit statement is that for a 12 year old?
When I was in school...I was a little chubbier, or Rubenesque as we called it in college.
I looked better..my face was round, they told me I looked like the girl from the Divynyls, Chrissy Amphlet
with a bigger nose.
I lost weight...now to me, I look like a man...whatever
I photograph like crap.
(ME...basically, with red hair)
after the kids...my hormones are whacked
(I don't know if other people have this problem, but I'm laying it out there)
My skin is yukky, I have hair everywhere...including a few chin hairs...
and the hair on my head is definitely not luxurious.
the Dr. said it's my age.
Really?
See those pictures above, the ones my daughter would like for her new Mom...
They are my age.

5 comments:

Lapetitemort said...

Ouch! Hurtful no matter what because you have feelings. ~hugs~

I think you are beautiful on the outside. =p You are a super strong woman too. You do more than humanly possible. I love your hair and face and you have a slammin' body. Take that

j

Anonymous said...

these comments had to be learned, I am guessing your lack of self confidence is trickling through your daughter. Love yourself, say out loud how beautiful you are in front of your daughter. She needs to learn from you by hearing it first hand. We live in a cruel world, you need to tell her how beautiful she is also....sorry to be so honest, but it clearly needs to be heard.

v8grrl said...

thanks anon...
you are right...

but after 40 years...probably not gonna happen and my daughter is beautiful...I do tell her

but I'm guessing, Anon...that you know me and are saying these things as a person who sees me everyday and likes to dig this little comment in...
I get it, I get it.
thanks

spiffydoug said...

Your are hot! I didn't know you knew how to make blueberry crumble? You just don't see the beauty that others see. I love crumble!

dark and light said...

You are such a babe. I'd kill to look like you and am glad I don't have a 5 year old to ask me why I'm a fat ass. Now pull yourself up by the boot straps and keep on keepin' on you beautiful funny witty gal who makes cool kitchy dresser thingys for Olive and cool knitted and other hand crafted creations. And never forget you killed the sims baby or whatever you called it.