Emotionally, physically and just plain old brain dead.
I think it's mostly brain dead.
My schedule is so screwed I have to ask my calendar where the hell I am supposed to be everyday and when I get there...I have to ask what class I am in, and pray I did the homework.
I really don't want to learn any more. At least not what I have to learn, now if I learn by default, that is a different story.
I have great friends and co-students who help me everyday. They make me laugh, they share their snacks, they give support and there are a couple of them that are so helpful that I wouldn't get through this without them...they are now my family. They now know my schedule and life better than my real family does. Is that a good or a bad thing...or just a nursing student thing?
We each have our own personalities...that's ok, it teaches patience...and jeez, we all could use a little more of that.
I want to tell you something, last week I was getting ready for clinicals...for the few of you who don't know what that is...it's working for free, which is fun the first semester but by the 4th...IT BLOWS!!
(back to the story)
I was rushing around trying to pull my head out of my ass while pouring dry cereal into bowls and setting timers and notes all over the kitchen so that the kids don't blow up the house while I'm gone (nursing students can't afford daycare) and my daughter says...
"What is that sticker on your arm?"
"Who knows...is it a banana sticker?...just get it off I gotta go."
She hands me the little tiny sticker...it's blue.
I read it and smiled...and started to lose it, which is normal for nursing students.
I don't really believe in God...(i know, strike me dead...please, then maybe I could get a nap in or something)...But I do believe in what you put out...you get back...It's the pay it forward/universe loves me kinda thing...
here's the sticker and what it said:
"God placed me on the earth to do a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind, I will never die."
Where that little sticker came from, I haven't a clue, but it was stuck to my sleeve for a reason. I believe that :)