Friday, March 12, 2010

allow me to vent myself


For 4 years I have talked about how when I graduate and am an RN I am going to treat myself to a real grown up car. Not a crap car, not a practical car; a real grown up car.

Something the kids don't fit in.

I have 5 weeks til I graduate and I honestly have really been thinking about how things may change. I have been "visualizing the big picture". Summer is almost here, I won't be paying for daycare (175$/mo). I won't be paying for kindergarten(265$/mo). If I get a job as an RN my pay should about double, and I only carry about 4K$ in debt for the entire household. We have no car payments (paid off) and the only thing we really pay is Mortgage.
A new car for me seems justifiable...NO? I have worked hard working 2 or 3 jobs at a time. Juggling school, family, household and scheduling so as not to interfere with "other's" schedules. Often working 12 hour shifts at night so the kids can get to school with no problems or upsets.
SOOOOOOOOOOO
Last week when Bobby emailed me that his truck broke down and it was going to cost 6500$ to fix my heart broke. I thought to myself, "Is this some sort of marriage test? Because I will kill him." Nope. So I didn't panic. I said it's ok...my credit score is awesome (850 if you must know) I'm sure we can get a used car from the bank, a repo.
I go through the list and find some cars under 8K. fine cars, sporty cars, new looking 40 miles to the gallon cars!!! But he refused. He wanted a car HE wanted.
So, I shut up.
I have learned to stop bitching...except to you, my personal life coaches.
He didn't negotiate a price. He said it was under sticker price. (as it should be, it's a used crap Dodge something or another)
he didn't keep the price under 300$/mo
He made me drive an hour to sign papers for a loan for a car that isn't mine.
he got this: Tried to tell me its like a station wagon....( i don't want a station wagon)
So for the next 72 months (yeah, you heard over 300$/mo for that amount of time...you do the math) I am locked into making a payment.
I could have had another kid.
Maybe a vacation?

Maybe a car...for me and achieving my goals, by myeslf, for myself and this family.

10 comments:

Mint Julep said...

That totally sucks! I think you should still get yourself a car. You really deserve it.
And you pay $175 for daycare? That's cheap.
I pay my babysitter $500 a month for 4 days a week.

Kris said...

Oh Myssi. I hardly know what to say to that. And all this when you are off alcohol?!? You are really being tested. Would you be interested in planning a girls trip to celebrate your achievements? Vegas?

v8grrl said...

Minty~i pay 175 for day care when Olive is NOT in school...so it covers all non school days...
when she was in FULL time daycare it was 110 a week full time (6a-6p if needed)

which was inexpensive but not in a great part of town, but I loved the lady and her little setup.
i like the home daycare thing. Olive was there from the time she was 8 months old.

Kris~
that does sound nice...i wonder if I could pull that off.

and YES...I'm still NOT drinking. because I try to be a girl of my word.

Cindy said...

Um. Wow. I wish I could clone my husband for you.

The good news? ONLY 5 MORE WEEKS! You can do it, girl!

xo

Lapetitemort said...

=(
definitely not fair, not at all.

one of many said...

How the hell did your Bobby decide on such an UGLY car? It totally looks like an all American family vehicle. I think that's the Dodge Dope as in dopey car. Hope he's forking over some dough to pay for HIS car. I hope you get yours. Bummer man.

Douglas said...

Family Truckster! You need a convertible. Sell the bug and buy yourself something fun. You are too good to be true. This so sounds like Sara's last husband.

one of many said...

By the way, that car is not LIKE a station wagon. It IS a STATION WAGON. Maybe Ilin can cruise around in it when he starts driving and refer to it kindly as the "Love Boat" as I did with our family wagon.

k said...

Why are you paying for it - he should pay for it!!

Anonymous said...

Okay, no car. But do SOMETHING for yourself. Doesn't matter what it is, just something you
REALLY want or have always wanted--besides the car. A one time thing just for YOU. You deserve it. I understand how you feel because of my ex. He did and got what he wanted, I worked. I fully know now that was not right. So do it. Go ahead. YOU REALLY DESERVE IT! Congrats on hanging in there all this time.
Love ya! SaraO