Thursday, March 18, 2010

It's A-OK


Today was the last day of my true clinicals. It was uneventful, which is just fine. When I walked out the door the clouds opened up and rays came down and all seemed right in the world. Truly right, although only momentarily...it was A-OK. I danced a little jog, did a little yelp and wished there was someone to kiss. I hopped in my car and went home, changed clothes, slapped my running shoes on my feet and took off for a mind cleansing run. As I ran, the semester flew off the ends of my fingertips. The anger and angst for my teachers were pounded out through the bottoms of my soles and I ran. I listened to NPR and thought about an old lover who told me,
"why not run 7 miles? You have two working legs...why not?"
And he was so right. Just run.
I thought of Forrest Gump, "Run Forrest, RUN!!!.........Run Myssi RUN!!!!"
My mind weaved in and out of NPR and Ira Glass's soothing voice, as I thought of how my life is my own and I can make time for myself. I wished I could take the burdens this old friend seems to be carrying and run them away for him....because it seems he may never be able to run far enough.
I want to make things right.

I willed myself to forgive the anger which wasted my mind space on someone who didn't believe in me.

I ran.

Everything pounded out on the pavement, slowly, evenly, with direction.
As I rounded mile 4.5 a biker came by and yelled, "You GO girl!!!!" and thumbs up.
my heart opened.
my mind cleared.
and it was A-ok.

I arrived home, went upstairs, and scrubbed everything else off, and down the drain. Felt the strength in my legs, the slight pain in my knees, and smiled.
One more test, 4 more weeks, and another part of my story will begin.
Because I am strong.

4 comments:

Kris said...

Yes, you are! Strong. You should be proud too for all of your endurance as you tackled the hurdles and hardships on this part of your story. You deserve a very happy next chapter enjoying your new career!

Lapetitemort said...

You rule!
and you're my super hero!

Small Town Mutha said...

"You Go Girl!"
Loved this one. :)

Cindy said...

Loved this. Run! xo