Thursday, December 9, 2010

Plain and simple...Man's Work

I believe there are a few things that should just unconditionally be Man's Work.  I have a laundry list (no pun intended ) of things I just can't stand doing, and NOT because I can't do it, but because, they just should...period, they should!

Here's my short list:
Emissions testing for car...I hate anything you have to pull up in a certain spot and stop, then get out of your safety zone.
Liquor store...no matter how nice it is, it's still ghetto and woman should not be wandering up and down the Jack Daniel's row alone. Nobody cares you are looking for a good 18$ bottle of wine, you still look like a cheap whore to the men buying 40's.
Cleaning the Gutters...I really don't need to say anything here.
Xmas lights ...fall into gutter category....roof top/ladder...Plus, I'm smart, so when I have to hang the Xmas lights (which I shouldn't be doing) I clean the gutters;  I'm a woman and I can multi-task ~snap~
Car Maintenance...here is what happens, you go for an oil change which should be 25$, like the coupon says, and you come home with a new transmission, you get the 5th degree from the man, which sounds like this,
"WTF?  Just tell them you want an Effin Oil Change, my Effin God , you can't do anything right!...what the Hell???, I should have done it myself!"     
uhhhhh  exactly, it's man's work....you should have done it !
( at least we have a new tranny)

There are many other things I'm sure we could come up with...
Oh here's one:
Initiate sex once in a while you lazy bastards, I have needs too. so step it up.
You may have been in your prime at 18-21, but I'm in my prime now.
So unless we plan on purchasing one of those 18-21 year old guys at the Oil Change Place...you better figure it out.

With that said:
Today, I went and got the emissions done, liquor store, and I've all ready hung the Xmas lights and cleaned the gutters.
Now I have to go to Home Depot and buy extension cords.
WTF? 
hmmm
and I'm sure I'll still have to cook dinner.


4 comments:

Lapetitemort said...

oh yeah... mine's sick right now so it's like dealing with the child that I do not have. And if he tells me one more time to turn out the bathroom light while I'm sitting on the can trying to tinkle, I'm going to deck him. Seriously? The door is closed and you're under the covers for god's sake... Men

Let's add:
all of the yard work, all of the time. Mine still refuses to believe that he only did it one time this year.

disconnecting live electricity and all of the wiring from the swamp cooler we had removed - that would have been me

putting up new light fixtures, once again doesn't want to deal with electrical wiring

moving the pile of over 100 fence boards we tore down that he left scattered around the yard - those are now gone

between you & i, I am sure we could come up with a list of hundreds

Mint Julep said...

So funny!
I do most of those things.
Well, I guess we both do. And Andoe also cleans the bathrooms, mops the floors and does laundry. And he grooms the baby (cuts hair, toenails, fingernails and cleans ears).
I love the liquor store!

Queen of the Trailer Park said...

Amen sister! I actually do all the things on your list (but I am a LUCKY girl and they sell the hard stuff INSIDE the grocery stores out here!)my hubby has the breadwinner job and rolls the trash cans out to the end of the carport (I roll them back)and that is pretty much it...ok, just realized that I am a total IDIOT and that somehow turned into my mother! Time for a trip to the grocery store ;)

S.T.M. said...

HILARIOUS!!!