Tuesday, January 25, 2011

attraction, are there laws?


Men are visual, we all know that.
Woman are emotional, this we also know.

Men look at hair color, breast size and breast size.
Woman look at...hmmmmm?... penmanship, dress, and then listen to his speech.
How things ever work out is beyond me.
I'm guessing the reason things do workout is because men need to get laid and woman have the available goods, so, if the woman looks ok and the man says she looks lovely the relationship can, indeed, begin.
This is the frosting on the cake.  The easy part, if the man can figure it out. 
After that...it's all downhill for most.  The select few continue on and enjoy the fruits of being in love and learning the beauty of each others inner most delicacies.
Lets skip that part.
Head over to the ones who dive deeper and learn....that the person they are attracted to chews with his mouth open (I'm using HIS because I am female, but you may switch it in your own mind). You think to your self, "I can get over this." Then he uses his hand instead of a napkin to wipe his mouth. You are starting to think a bit more, but the person looks you in the eye and says, "You are so cute". 
 You let the napkin mouth thing slide.
You start to get to know each other and you start to notice their calves are a bit large.  Maybe the hair on the back of his neck needs a trim...He notices your breast size and says, "you are pretty".
You start to talk more openly about your lives.  You make a note to yourself to remember not to talk about religion or politics, then he says something about vegetarianism and that fascist Michelle Obama.  Fire shoots from the depth of your loins and not in a good way.  You beg your brain to be quiet and get you through this intact.
He leans over and says, "you smell so nice."
Smart. 
He is smart.
 You know you are smart.  
He quizzes you on music and history. You know the answers.  You don't care for his music, but you know the answers.  He asks about your music..He says that music is for Simpletons.
You re-evaluate the situation.  Could you go on a road trip and listen to 10 hours of Rush?
You look at his six pack and decide, maybe.
He asks you about sports, there is no faking here. You answer , NO.
He asks how you get through life without watching football, hockey,or baseball...have you never had a man in your life?
You decide you really want to kill him, hope he meets someone else quickly....but it's never that easy.
He has written you off.  Simpleton, no sports, but with big boobs.
You miss him saying how pretty you look.
The laws of attraction backfire into you being needy and him needing to date someone else. 
All in 2 dates.
How does this happen?

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