Last night was my 5 year anniversary at the hospital. They spend all the money we should probably get in raises and bonuses on this yearly employee banquet, or so it seems. Free dinner, open bar and free parking. All to recognize the work we do as low end community hospital employees.
I had asked Bobby if he would join me at this shindig, I don't usually attend, but figured it was the adult thing to do. Bobby begrudgingly said yes.
We arrived halfway through "social hour"...thank god. Let me rephrase that, if I hadn't given up drinking for Lent it would have been a different story....Open bar, people I could care less about and free little quiches. Bobby got himself a Fat Tire and Babbled on three or four minutes about how he swears it isn't Fat Tire....they must have but Abbey or Coors Light into the Fat Tire bottle. Yeah, shut up and drink it.
People meandered about in the ball room which was louder than an airplane hanger full of screaming lemurs. That's nurses for ya. Eventually they will learn that not everyone is deaf, and you can talk at a lower level and still be heard. But not tonight.
"hi, Myssi, wow...you clean up well."
"Look at Youuuu, you look great."
I didn't realize I usually look like shit. I mean, the light is a little bit better in here, but really?
Bobby kept asking, "Who is that? What is that person't name?"
I don't know...can't remember...???
"you do work with these people right?"
YESSSS, I just don't remember...they all look the same.
I wish I was drinking.
We wandered into the dining area to find our table. #50...Is that where the aliens arrived? No, that's area 51...ok...good...you could have fooled me.
Let me just tell you something. This is a note to everyone. As you get older, I don't care what Maya Angelou says....forget the Purple, ditch the magenta, try a bit of slimming Black, and not in MooMoo style.
this is what the buffet line looked like to me
What the hell? Is there a store called Smocks and Frocks? Where do they get this stuff? Don't do it. Would have been better off wearing your scrubs, in dayglo pink.
And Men...It's not a safari, put on something other than khaki pants and fleece pullover.
I realize it's Boulder, but not Africa.
Before my ass hit the seat, Bobby pointed out that all the larger older folk were all ready in line to eat. Wow, they must know something we don't so we scrambled for the line...safely hidden behind a large magenta wearing lady. We made it through the line, getting the typical salad and non exciting food. Bobby got some sliced RoastBeef that was cold as ice cubes and I was scurried off to the "vegetarian section" where they piled my plate full of crap like overcooked zucchini and eggplant, blech...whatever happened to ol cheese lasagna and a piece of bread?
I don't know, these things aren't my thing, unless someone slips off the stage, or drops their entire plate of food. No one got crazy drunk and ripped their shirt off. (or smock, probably because smocks are hard to maneuver)
The only exciting thing was that I won the center piece on the table. I gave it to the lady across from me, who honestly looked sad she didn't win it.
I hope that didn't count as my date night...although I did hear Bobby say "this is great, I get off free, minus the gas money, for date night" to someone. damn him.
next year I'm drinking, Lent or no Lent.
Ps I did steal a small plate and pile it full of all the leftover desserts that were on our table. Ghetto? Yes...
but oh so rewarding.
write ya later,