Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Personal, gross, and sad....all in one post

I'm just going to say it.  It's been on my mind for about 3 weeks now and since this is my blog I can post it no matter who grosses out or whatever.


I have been bleeding for 3 weeks straight now.  
Perimenopause?
I don't know...don't know at all.  Short of being an RN and knowing that I usually only have a 5 day period it has made me extremely depressed, a wee bit frightened, and on top of that irritated.
As a woman, our lives seem to revolve around bleeding,childbearing, bleeding and then death.  No happy inbetween.  Now what do I have to look forward too?   More facial hair, dried up cooch, and crumbling bones.  It came to my realization yesterday that, "what is the point?"  
what is the point of working out, of caring...of pretty much anything right now.  So,I can look good in my casket?
I have run out of period panties and they have ALL become period panties.
pretty soon I may just need a period diaper.
I realize that most of you who read this are way too young to even understand the fear and anger that this is coming with...which is really strange.  I never thought I would say that considering I don't plan on having any more kids.  
Maybe I'm mostly nervous about something being wrong.
Maybe it is the inability to really tell anyone because our periods are so taboo.
I am going to go lay down, because I have been dizzy and tired...and I have to work.
no biggie...
none at all
and yes, I made a dr. appointment so no need for the lecture
I may be dramatic, but I'm not an idiot.

2 comments:

one of many said...

Being your age, I now have the fear that my period, which started tonight, will not stop, just like yours. I have a huge menopause fear. My mom was such a bitch and I don't care for profusely sweating in public for no good reason. I hope you are OK. Keep us posted. Three weeks....GEEZ!

Lapetitemort said...

~hugs~
but not too tightly because I don't want to squeeze anymore out of you.

You know I'm here to vent to, feeling your pain.