I came home tonight from a long and soul sucking shift. Angry, tired, and plain exhausted I couldnt get a hold on my head.
Life is what you get dealt, regardless of your standing on the ladder.
4 glasses of boxed wine, half a cold pizza, and 4 episodes of Breaking Bad.... I opened an email,
which, I thought was porn, titled"prettiest girl ever standing..." to see my little girl... not in porn, but spending time with her Aunt Sally. As the pictures opened, the grief, sadness and emotion poured from me.
The 12 hours of feeding a Hospice patient morphine every 15 minutes, explaining to the family why their mother,grandmother,wife was breathing so agonally…12 hours of sneaking to the bathroom to splash my red ,teared face..........it was all washed away.... Olive, alone with her Aunt Sally, playing with a doll house which meant the world to me. A doll house I longed for every other month when I stayed with my nieces.... hand made with love. Each picture opened and I could feel my angst wash away, looking at my daughter playing with a child hood memoryof my very own, alone, quiet, and happy. My heart ached for my mom, for my dad....for a family I want my children to have. A family which my family in another state is making right for me.
The family my dying patient had. All together, smiling, remimiscing, allowing love to happen.
I am thankful
here is the link to the slideshow for more details of the wonderful handmade doll house
These pictures of a day so simple washed it all away.