Friday, October 11, 2013

Raising a Smart Teen is a Pain in the Ass

Raising a teen is weird.  
I'm not sure if we can really call it "raising"…it's more like push, shove, yell, cry, threaten and a shit ton of praying.
no kid comes with a guide book and honestly, teens are super scary bizarre.
This book would do my family no good.

Here are a few of the reasons:

1.  They have access to everything.  and I mean everything.  

When we were kids we had to use the Dewey Decimal System and if you were slightly lazy or dyslexic you gave up on finding out information first hand pretty quickly. Easiest ways were National Geographic and friend of a friend system.  You had to wait for a friend to fill you in from either their big sister's experience or their own personal…and sometimes even from a friend of a friend.  You remember. " My cousin's older sister's best friend, said if you smoke Virginia Slim Menthols they taste like candy"   
Now they just google it, or learn about it on Grand Theft Auto.

2. same genre. 

 I had to read every stinking one of Judy Blume's books to learn how to semi french kiss then when it was time I still did it wrong.  Same with my period.  If I didn't have Judy Blume I would have died in 7th grade not knowing if I would EVER get my period and why did all my friends get theirs first!?
now?  they just google it and half the girls are so GMO'd up they have boobies and start their periods in 4th grade.
Let's not even talk abut the porn factor and the search for Playboys in the woods. (and don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about)

3. Drugs they have now are bad ass.  

Sure we had coke, pills and acid…pot too.  We did our share and honestly Jungle Juice and Mad Dog were probably the most dangerous for our group.  Now I have to worry about Molly, Meth and her little sister Heroin.  It's one of my favorite thoughts.  My all ready slightly stupid teen decides to try out a lil toke on a meth pipe.  Guarantees basement living and no brain growth.   That's what we need.  Let's keep the Grand Theft Auto empire alive.  Whatever happened to just eating some shrooms, getting blasted and saying…."man I'm not doing that again….well at least not for a while!"       ?

Another thing is I now have access to everything.  I liked the days when my mom said, "Have a good day at school , Honey" and that was it.  She wouldn't have known if I was dead until the street lights came home and I wasn't there.  Now with all the electronics I can track my kids every move; and honestly….I don't want to.  Some things are better off not knowing.  My mom often had an idea, but hardly ever any hard evidence and that, my, friends is exactly what kept us friendly to each other.

I'm blessed with one of those kind, smart, artsy type teens.  He is sensitive, but his own person.  He thinks in his own way and I can no longer micro- manage that.  This is where the hardest part of parenting comes in.  Letting them learn their own lessons and make their own path, even if I see it may be a hard path.  No pushing or yelling will change that when they have their own brains.  
Sometimes my kid is right and I can't outwardly agree because I am the parent.  
 Like the other day when he says, "Why do I get a zero for not taking notes in class?  That is stupid.  I'm listening…. I don't like to write and listen at that the same time…I shouldn't get a zero for that, that is stupid"  
Yes, it is stupid.  It is stupid for an AP teacher to pass out Zeros to a kid who makes A's on the tests, but that is the rule and you have to follow rules.   That is the lesson.
"Yeah, well, whatever…I guess I'm going to fail then".

Smart kid.  Honors and AP and he may just fail, not because of tests, but because of marching to the beat of his own drummer with anarchy sticks in his hands.  Learn your own lessons kid.  I'm right there with you in my mind.

plus try your teen age years with no hair.



Annie said...

Thank you for brightening up my afternoon X

Annie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lapetitemort said...

Wow that is incredibly stupid!
I had one teacher who wouldn't allow us to take notes because she wanted us to "LISTEN". Then, had the same case as him in another class. Why not let a kid do what they know works? Have the time their lectures are directly from text books anyway...
Hope things on that front get better.

v8grrl said...

thank you Annie for reading….I'm glad I could make someone smile :)

Anonymous said...

That, my friend, was totally awesome. You will survive. It's not so much "raising" them as it is "keeping them down." And just remember - boys are easy. *snicker* Call me at midnight on her 12th birthday and we'll compare notes. Cheers! (Jan)

S.T.M. said...