two smart girls

secrets…of a non sleeper

2012-01-31T14:58:00.004-07:00

a little secret …

after the kids are off to school and I know I have to work a 12 hour, thru the night shift,

I often turn the heating blanket on 9, pile the pillows around me, and crawl back to sleep.

I doze in and out until 3pm….or until my back hurts.

Working nights I have discovered I now sleep better during the days.

I would sleep even better if I had this

zzz

Family Vacation

2012-01-30T18:24:00.001-07:00

the family vacation.

The bain of my existance.

Do we need it? is it oh so important?

I have contemplated this thought many times and the only answer I can come up with is YES. I need it. I need it to feel like a human and to feel as if the work I do gives me something in return.

Every year in January I begin trying to figure out my vacation.

Something the kids will halfway enjoy, which they never do, and something I can actually enjoy and feel a little relaxation/luxury.

I like water, I like rivers, I like beach, I like beer, and I like cheap.

The combo is not so easy to find.

This year, if I can't find a cabin. I am going to fix my little trailer, no matter the cost, and use it!

I will rent a car every weekend if I have to and go somewhere and just sit.

I will take up fly fishing

and and rediscover reading.

The kids will go with me whether they like it or not.

Bobby can do what he wants because we wont be far away.

Its on my list…

I WILL do THIS.

Mark my cotton pickin words

(words cant pick cotton)

Clean Eating Blackeyed Pea and Collards Soup…vegetarain

2012-01-29T17:33:00.002-07:00

I'm starving.

I've been working out and training for the Mud Run and I figured I might as well do another 10K while I'm at it.

So, I have been starving to death.

When I'm starving to death I want to eat a lot

and Soup is like Salad

You can eat a lot with little calories and fat.

heres what I made this evening:

Vegetarian Blackeyed Pea, Collards with Swt Potatoe

Ingrediants:

blacked eyed peas ( i used a bag of frozen organic)

1 sweet pot

1 bunch collard greens

1/4 onion

1 can of diced tomatoes ( i rinse them, but do as you please)

1 box of organic veggie broth (use homemade if ya got it)

seasonings

pepper, garlic salt, cumin, red pepper

whatever you like :)

chop everything.

If you are NOT familiar with Collards, you want to fold them in half and cut the crunchy thick stem out.

then roll them into a big bunch and slice them

*collards are a bit peppery…and yummy and so good for you

I threw the onion, collards and swt pots in with a smidge of olive oil.

let them cook for a few minutes.

Add the veggie broth, tomatoes, and blackeyed peas…cover and let cook until peas are tender.

add seasoning of your choice. I like to add hot pepper flakes.

This is excellent served with cornbread, but I'm not sure if cornbread is on the clean eating diet

Enjoy bowl after bowl.

I have to get back to my busy work of laundry and knitting.

write ya later….

Alopecia ok

2012-01-29T12:34:00.001-07:00

for those who were wondering….he's doing ok.

He opted to shave it.

You can see see the dramatic hair loss on the back of his head but he seems a bit more confidant.

Meredith and Ilin…she made it all better…well mostly better

She managed to make the hair on the top gently cover the bald spots there.

It's a start in the bravery department.

He said to me right after the haircut, "Mom I won't have to wear a hat in weight lifting"

No kid, you won't.

Life is hard…lets not make it any harder.

No medications he has decided.

He's just gonna ride it out.

Chalk it up in the

"this sucks category"

and move on

xo, m

Seal and Heidi. another one bites the dust

2012-01-24T09:03:00.000-07:00

I'm just gonna sit back and wait for the bigger story on this one.

Here's the things we do know…

together 7 years, long for Hollywood, not very long in real life

He just finished an album: always the kiss of death

I read somewhere he has a Hot temper.

Hmmmmmm. This one is gonna be ugly

although it appears oh so pretty on the outside.

Xox

2012-01-23T16:57:00.001-07:00

It's my birthday

How to effectively be passive aggressive

2012-01-22T16:00:00.001-07:00

I would like to take a few minutes to teach my friends and foe a few superbly effective ways to be passive aggressive around the house, as I learned from my husband.

These are fairly easy things which anyone can accomplish ,with a long term game plan, and a few quick stealth moves.

First you must set the scene.

This is easily done early in the relationship, but yet, not too early , because the other party could be smart, which would lead to no effect on the entire plan.

After the so called "honeymoon period" , but before the "I don't give a rat's ass period", you must set the mood. During the first few arguments you must, at some point state, " you are a nag" or " I never said you have to do that"…and then make sure you throw in, " you are crazy, you know that?"

This first step is imperative to the end results. If you fail to set these tones, your plan will never work.

After step one has been completed you may start your plan immediately, or wait 20 years, either way it should be just as effective.

Here's what you do. I am going to give you a few base ideas and once you feel confidant in these you should be able to make your own plans to fit your daily needs and life. any thing marekd ***gravy is extra bonus passive aggressive points.

1. When stopping by the store on the way home from work, in a snow storm,only pick up cream for your coffee and or lunch meat for your lunch, even though you picked up the milk carton this morning and know its empty, and the kids will have no milk for breakfast….then state…."oh, I thought we just needed cream. " (or fill in blank with your need only)

2. When significant other has been doing laundry for the entire weekend and shows signs of melting into the floor of the laundry room….don't offer to help….BUT …make sure when the party is not looking you pull out only your clothes and put them away, leaving only piles of kids clothes and your significant other's clothing…then when they complain and state how much they hate folding laundry, you can effectively say, " why do you guys have so much laundry? I never have laundry like that." This makes them realize they aren't having to fold your clothing, so there will be no complaining to you.

3. After dinner, make sure you quickly get your dishes into the dishwasher and only put away the few items you used. Like salt and pepper…so you are actually helping, but not helping the household. ***gravy, don't wipe the counters, ever…. unless you drip a spot of coffee, then only wipe that one spot, but don't wipe further than that spot. this shows how ill kept the house may be and you have done your part.

4. Make sure any item of great joy to you is purchased in unmarked cash with no paper trail. This is effective when the other party states they never get anything nice….then you can say, " yeah, me either…" And they can never show it on paper. The nice stuff you have just appears.

5. never take coinciding days off. This allows for plenty of free time to enjoy your unmarked free things without stress…When you do take a day off, wait til the last minute to mark it on the calendar. That way, there will be no interference due to short notice. Any extra vacation days should be secretly taken for yourself. This allows for not having to take extra days with the family or doing any outside family needs such as; kid's Dr. appointments, a short 3 day vacation, a fun day off….

***gravy, your days are your days. you can claim you just don't have any extra vacation days. (Always make sure to save a few secret days in case best friend wants to go on Fri-Mon quick trip to Vegas, then plead you never said you had no more vacation days,and put out ,"you are crazy" card from tone set in beginning of plan.

6. Wear your shittiest outfits when going out….my favorite I've seen lately: Hoody, ripped jeans leather jacket over hoody and Trashy baseball hat. Wear this even when its date night. State you have no nice clothes, or "who the hell cares"….that way, you may not get asked again, which leaves you more time to yourself.

***gravy, pull out your best duds when you know they are unable to go out…but you have to "make that appearance"…. and state, "I have to go, we were invited months ago, I wish you weren't working"

7. Stop doing any housework, except for things you secretly enjoy doing, like shoveling….then when asked, state" Jeesus, I do all the Shoveling (or snow blowing)"

These few minor steps should get you started.

Enjoy your end results.

Feel free to leave any extras in the comments.

****gravy

xo,

(written tongue in cheek, seriously)

Surrogates

2012-01-19T08:23:00.000-07:00

I'm thankful today. Thankful for the few surrogate mothers who have unknowingly adopted this 42 year old baby.

They know who they are.

They have their own lives yet amazingly keep an eye on me like I was one of their own.

Recently, I have opened my inbox ( no, not like that) to find letters of love when I needed them most. Letters which tell me…" It's gonna be ok" Because sometimes in life, that is really what we need. A mom type to say, " you are doing ok…you are doing the right thing". Its hard at this age to get that from people.

and maybe you shouldn't…

But I oh so appreciate it.

Love shows up in many mysterious ways .

Nothing less to give

2012-01-17T16:17:00.001-07:00

I'm exhausted. I feel selfish and I'm exhausted.
After giving my last bit of care and fun to my liver on Friday I just don't want to do anything.
The stress of the hair loss is honestly putting me over the edge.
I'm not sure why, but it is.
I'm really guessing it is because I'm not in control.
The kid is fine except for his hair. Why is it so stressful?
I haven't found any other mom who currently has a boy who has lost his hair at this age. I'm having a hard time relating to the families who have kids who have had Alopecia since they were 2. Gives the community and such time to adjust. Unlike having a gorgeous head of hair one day then nothing the a month later.

Ilin has taken to calling his head, " his patchy, patchy head"

Looks almost like this...but with sprigs. And not as happy a face...then put a a cool skater hat on it...

Maybe it will grow back....maybe

So, I'm exhausted, I feel hateful about life and my humor is almost gone, almost.
If I feel like this, I can only imagine what he feels.

Xo
M

2012-01-16T10:05:00.001-07:00

here's a lil tidbit about my weekend.

I drank too much on Friday

Threw up at my kids basketball game Saturday morning

Tried to make a recovery, but just decided, why bother?

getting old is hard on the liver…

just a few randoms

2012-01-13T16:09:00.000-07:00

things are not always as they appear now, are they?

You know, as we get older the days are oh so long, but time runs quickly.

Take the time to enjoy...

No...

It's a cow's Hip Bone…Ed's weekly treat from the butcher

Ed, in his favorite spot…waiting for people to come home from school, work, etc….

the door to the world is at the end of those steps….so he waits patiently

and this is a lil sign in my kitchen to remind me…things are:

Enjoy your Friday the 13th.

Alopecia my ass

2012-01-11T23:35:00.001-07:00

So, it was what we had been told . Alopecia . The dr was really nice and took time to talk to Ilin who sat there with a blank stare. She said alopecia is actually quite common in teens and she usually just sends them home with the encouragement that it should grow back in a year.She was concerned about Ilin because he had lost so much hair in 3 months and in a pattern which is not common. Most people don't lose from the back up ( think about pattern baldness). Also the fact he is now losing his body hair,arms and legs. she explained that this puts him in a higher bracket with a less likely chance of regrowth. Only time will tell if he will lose all of it, but she was pretty definite that this auto immune disease would be with him the rest of his life. She's looked at him and said, " this really really sucks. But you aren't going to lose your life. And it's not going to take any time off the end of your life...it's just going to suck". She gave him his options for treatment. He can do a steroid burst for 2 months to stimulate hair growth. She said it works in about 60% of kids...but what does happen is often it falls right back out when you stop the steroid. Sometimes this is really emotional on the kids. We are going to allow Ilin to make the decision of treatment. She also told him many kids just decide to do nothing...shave it and go about their lives. She thinks this may be the easiest ...but understands that everyone has to make the decision for them selves.The dr said the steroid may be tough on Ilin because he has a low immune system all ready. It would also have side affects we are all aware of which would open him up to more issues at school unless he is willing to educate people.He shed a few tears, was pretty tough... So we will see what he decides. I explained the way autoimmune disease works. How it's all screwed up and even though he's not sick his immune system is so whacked out it is going after whatever it can find to fight ,and for him it's his hair follicles. After the silent ride home I took him to get his drivers Learning permit...which took 3 hours of waiting for a 20 minute test...which he passed! ;). I had to make sure he had one good thing today...although he did have to take his hat off for the picture...which made the lady taking a picture do a tiny gasp as she said , "ok, honey, holds your head up just a bit and smile...you are doing great."He opted to not go back to school for the day and just laid on the couch like a zombie watching Malcom in the Middle for 4 hours straight.So...it's only hair...we will figure it out...his dad said we can buy him a wig...you know they make great wigs, I actually laughed out loud..sure...let's get the emo kid a wig...I'm voting for flock of seagulls or Afro.... with pick of courseXoM...

Ikea Hack…Tutu for American Girl Doll

2012-01-07T12:57:00.002-07:00

So simple.

I was cleaning up the sewing room and getting rid of leftover fabric that I felt was unusable. It's like purging the ol stash.

When I got to the bottoms I cut off of the Ikea Curtain Panels (who knows why I saved them)

I thought…this is perfect tutu material.

Not enough for me, but maybe the Kit doll or the new sock monkey?

You need:

small piece of elastic band to fit around Doll's waist.

Leftover shiny tutu fabric (any fabric would look cute with this)

cutting board and slicer (you can use scissors)

time to knot a billion strips

so:

I didn't measure anything short of using the ruler to slice the strips.

measure the elastic to fit doll's waist

stitich it together on machine, or by hand.

make sure it is sewn sturdily….kids are tough on this stuff

Start slicing 1" strips from fabric and you want to have it long enough to fold and make a slip knot around the elastic.

I folded mine before I cut it (see pic) so that it didn't take as long to cut, because I'm lazy.

After slicing a bunch of 1" strips (any size that works for you, works for Kit…we found she's not too picky)

have your kid fold them in half.

Take each ribbon and tuck it over the elastic and through the middle like a Cow knot or Lark's head knot

do that a billion times neatly around the elastic, making a wonderful little tutu. Makes you want one for your self if your waist wasn't so big, huh?

I had Olive help me as much as possible.

I then trimmed all the ends evenly.

an no …we do have heat ,this is ust how the monster dresses everyday, regardless of temperature.

have fun…and now that you are all done, treat yourself to a beer.

xo,

Hair today, Gone tomorrow…alopecia for a teen boy

2012-01-06T08:29:00.000-07:00

I had the talk tonight with Ilin about his alopecia again. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, "So, are you telling me my hair probably won't grow back?".

"Yes...."

I feel selfish asking why this had to happen to such an awesome kid. He's healthy, smart, and alive...but as a mom it still breaks my heart.

Everyday after he has left for school I wander into his bathroom and wipe up the hair...I wipe it from the sink, the toilet seat, the floor, the soap and pull it from the drain. I don't want him to have to do it. His little sister grumbles and wipes it from the sink in the morning, after she brushes her teeth. " Is it ever going to stop, Mom?" " Probably not, Olive...just be kind, and wipe it up for him"

In any other situation I'm sure I would think it was gross. But not with him. 4 months ago he had a head of gorgeous thick hair. Now strands and baldness.

I try to think of funny things to tell him. Like: wait til the zombie walk...you are gonna look awesome....at least you won't have that crazy ear hair. He smiles and laughs, but I can see the pain in his eyes. He doesn't understand.

He told me he will just stay in all summer.

Oh no you wont ...it's not an option. We have to figure out how we are going to tell people.

We have to....

Its just a bump in the road...it's only hair....

this is the change in one month.

you can see the top also from this picture although that is not what we were aiming at

Today he has weight lifting and he was running around looking for a baseball hat.

which we didn't have.

He was stressed, I was stressed and his sister was yelping for her breakfast.

I asked him straight up, "do you want me to call the counselor, so you have some one to talk to?"

he shrugged…

"do you want me to call….just say the word and I will"

with one little tear he said,

"yeah"

I said,"look Bubba, its gonna get better, it will…because really it will either get better…or you will get used to it…which equals about better"

Boy, that is some fine advice from the adult int he family huh?

wow…

lets hope no one was filming that moment.

xo,

man arms?

2012-01-04T15:39:00.000-07:00

Oh lord…

Im not sure if this is what I had in mind when I started to work out and weight lift. Maybe I thought I would be rockin Madonna arms…You know the kind, Lean and Strong?…

The kind they post on the front of tabloid magazines and the captions says "starving to death?"…

The kind where your significant other, whom you at one time were trying to impress then said 'fuck it , I'm doing it for myself and so other people will say' , "holy shit…what happened to your arms?"

arms

like this:

but not so drastic….

Too me it's is gross, but sexy strong…

and I'm at that age where I'm gross anyways.

Middle aged, married woman with kids, who no one looks at any more…Almost like you are invisible. So what do I care? I want to look in the mirror and say ,"holy macaroni…I'm going naked today…or if not naked I'm rockin the sleeveless mom smock."

I'm done with lunch lady arms. finito…. finished….adios swayin in the wind, arms!

Back to topic.

So, I thought I could pull this off with my new "Live Fit" training program.

Ummm…it's working, but in a strange way,a way that apparently would only happen to me.

my arms are starting to look like this:

Not that these are bad arms

and they surely surpass the lunch lady arms…but come on…even these things are gonna be hard to rock in a sleeve less lil black dress for my reunion.

Why does this shit happen to me?

chin hair?

large features…

now Arnold Arms

It's a start…

I'll be baaack

write ya later

PS…now if you hop on over to Lepetite Jen's Blog

you will see what I was hoping for…

slim and tiny…

She will be competing in March I believe.

I'm so proud of her.

Don't let the door hit you in the....

2011-12-31T14:26:00.000-07:00

I'm a little nervous to see what 2012 will bring me.

I'm always one for change, yet this year I feel hesitant, and slightly - well, afraid.

Is it age?

No,that can't be it.... I have that shit every year.

That surely can't be it.

I guess I can sit back and see what happens, but honestly, my type A personality is not super patient or one to relax and "just see".

I haven't thought much of goals because last year ,

if you look, I did not complete any of those.

I did not learn a new language while getting laid with my thin new hips.

Damn those resolutions.

This year….

Maybe I'll go for speaking Pig Latin while eating Ho-Hos off my big belly while laying in bed.

I think I may be able to make that happen.

That's a resolution I get get behind….or better yet

on top of.

May you ring in the New Year the way you hope it to be.

I'll see ya tomorrow, bright and early…

ready to take this bad bitch on.

merry christmas!!!!

2011-12-25T17:49:00.001-07:00

I hope your day was beyond relaxing…tomorrow we get back into the swing of things!
I got an iPad, so I'm looking for cool magazines and such. Let me know if you have and suggestions.
I will get to start writing again!!! yes!

later gators!
m

Enjoy some Beezlebub Glee Juice

2011-12-23T14:41:00.002-07:00

Cookies and Olive

2011-12-23T12:56:00.001-07:00

Look how much fun you can have with Olive, cookies and Picnik photo editing

heehee

Alopecia Sucks

2011-12-13T17:16:00.000-07:00

Well we just got back from the check up with the Dr. After going to a worthless Dermatologist we are back to no answers and I guess that is where it will stand.

It's getting worse.

It just falls out by the root.

He has started on Steroid Cream, and I made sure to tell him not to put the cream in his nether regions, even if he is trying to grow hair.

Dr said his puberty will be delayed until he gains weight…so to keep trying…try to eat, more, eat, more...

It's kind of ironic how as moms we always want to keep are kids babies, or at that perfect age, now I just want him to eat, grow and get past this crap.

The school has been allowing the hats…amazingly enough.

If he was a girl we could do fancy scarves or groovy afro wigs, but that won't fly for a 14 yr old boy...

top front of head…right in the front!

top crown…I think Ronco would help with this.

back…but just one side, the other side is the same…smooth as a babies ass.

The Dr. gave us great hope….50% chance it will grow back…50% chance every bit will fall out…

hmphfff.

glass half full, of steroid foam….i guess

12 weeks then we head to Children's hospital for a little bit of help.

On a good note they ran every lab possible and they were all good…even his vit. B.

I know, many kids have it way worse…you know his sister had Leukemia…maybe that is why he is underwhelmed at the fact he may loose his hair.

Maybe he is so awesome he just figures….

What the hell….high school sucks all ready, what else could happen.

Unless they pull that hat off his head in the hall.

right?

at least he is breathing…that I am thankful for.

later

Santa Tea and Deer Run

2011-12-03T16:38:00.000-07:00

It's Saturday, and it snowed. Its divine, yet oh so cold.

It made me think about the Holidays we shared years ago. The entire family on Deer Run. Together, divorced, shunned and loved. It didn't matter, we were all there.

The kids played like no other day.

The house had a rope swing from the top of the basement stairs which swung directly into the laundry area, and if you did it just right... you wouldn't hit the pole directly in the middle of the basement.

A trampoline which could apparently hold 50+ kids.

I don't remember ever getting hurt, and even if you did, the "adults" were drinking "eggnog and Hot Toddies" and were never to be disturbed unless a limb was missing.

We played kick the can…and hide and seek.

We slid down the stairs on old quilts and cardboard boxes piled 3 kids high.

(we did often get hurt doing this, but never said anything)

We never watched TV…

we didn't play video games

We looked at the "corkboard wall of pictures" on the second floor.

We peeked into adult rooms and sometimes used the potty that wasn't for kids.

We tried to read Babaar and Madeline in French

(always convienently placed on the bottom shelf of the never ending book shelf)

we sometimes read MAD magazine, while warming up…

then headed right back out for snowball fights and hikes in the woods.

I have a fond memory of the boys building a sledding ramp which hopped the street until a semi sober adult realized it wasn't the best idea.

Deer Run…

the street memories were made of.

I wish I could have grown to experience it as an adult…

with my kids playing in the yard with family galore.

dream a little dream

NLC "next level challenge"….

2011-11-30T15:47:00.001-07:00

Its been almost a month since I began the NLC challenge. Trying to eat clean and get rid of this doughy chub. I started a little bit later than some of the ladies, But It's helping me stay motivated.

Working nights is the one thing which slows down my schedule. I just really can't do anything the day before or after. I've herad it's quite common.

Here are a few accomplishments I have made:

Joined the rec center, and am using free weights along with home videos and cardio.

quit drinking,…..as much.

Eating clean, 90% of the time. I did have an ice cream sunday pop tart washed down with a beer the other day…but I was having my period!

I don't have any good pics to post. maybe soon.
added….here I took one of the Egg Cups from a Clean Eating Recipie
The shrinking lady

My Other Boyfriend, Scott

2011-11-29T12:25:00.000-07:00

My Other boyfriend….Scott…pulling off a Bing Xmas song

xoxoxoxox

listen and smile, see some humor

the vacation Homey week

2011-11-29T08:58:00.000-07:00

We did some cooking of Vegetarian Stroganoff

( I hate that word)

Tday we went to the Bart's and for some reason I have no pics of the women or me…

It was quiet and good and the kids kept entertained.

The boys went snowboarding a few times…and we even got the Xmas lights and tree up, thanks to the 65 degree weather!

It's a boring post but it was a non eventful week (good)

Now I have to get working on Christmas !

conversation while making dinner

2011-11-22T13:26:00.000-07:00

O: "Bubba, Mamoo picked a white hair outta her bump under her chin!!! you should have seen it, REALLY!"

B:"Wow, so Mom…you are growing a beard, now?"

M:"Well, I'm not trying to…jeesus"

a few seconds later….

O:"yes she is, I can tell"

Bitch Post # 4151

2011-11-21T08:52:00.000-07:00

Yea, blogs are passe.

yet I still read them and write. Although I haven't written much of any worth in quite a while.

I have noticed how small the blog community is. I also have noticed how many people use your, meaning mine, lesser read blog post for ideas and then write the same post a few days later on their very "well read" blog. I guess I should be flattered. All I would like is a touchdown. Maybe a " I saw this blog post over at 2 smart Girls" and thought I would touch on the subject.

It would be nice. Because lately, it is becoming quite apparent.

Unremarkable

2011-11-16T09:20:00.000-07:00

Bubba's lab results came back unremarkable, unremarkable.

It sucks not having an answer. As with life, there are often NO answers to what appears to be a simple problem. So, if any of you fellow blog readers have lost your hair in big clumps, can you let us know what to do. They gave him some steroid cream to help regrowth, but in the interim he is bitchy and depressed…and I can't say that I blame him.

On a more remarkable note. I have been starting my holiday gifts. I still have a few I need to send out for a FB challenge of homemade in one year. That was started at the beginning of the year and I have of course waited til the end!

I am making PJ's for the household. Easy Lounge Pants for the guys and a Nightey for O. I'll post when done.

I have made the commitment to buy homemade and USA. As much as I LOOOOVE Target, just look at every tag: Made in China. I just can't do it. I want to buy USA, so that is what I'm doing.

from: Your Destiny is Stone Golden

I'm off to workout…then to make PJS and shop Etsy….and hopefully get some Knitting in

Let me know what you are buying for the holidays!

teen angst gone awry

2011-11-08T16:04:00.001-07:00

Here it is:

That is just part of it. You can see all the spots through his hair. The Dr. had a bunch of blood drawn and we will be checking Thyroid, Sugars, Iron and autoimmune. Until then we are being sent to the dermatologist to see if it could be anything else. We figured out it wasn't from the hair dye because his hair has about a 1/2" of new growth and his hair is still faliing out from the root.

Now if you didn't think High School was mean enough…Try having Alopecia. You can't even pull off Punk rock with that title, unless it ALL falls out.

The kid is a trooper at home. Told his lil sister he went to bed and this is what happened, must have been from all the Halloween Candy.

She was terrified.

Just another day in the life of a mom…and an odd teen….and a sassy ass youth,

where is my liquor…

I think my hair is now falling out

All Gone Hair, it must be contagious

2011-11-08T12:16:00.000-07:00

Until we figure out an answer to the bald spots…the hat is gone and so is most of the hair. He is quite handsome, first time I've seen him with short hair since 4th grade.

household teen emergency

2011-11-08T09:06:00.000-07:00

Poor Poor Bubba.

High school and hair dye are killing him.

He has yet to realize I tell him things out of experience, not because I want to hear my own high pitched voice. I had told him previously his tender pasty white scalp will not handle black hair dye, especially if one of his ding dong friends dyes it for him.

But did he listen?

guess….just go ahead and guess what has happened….

His hair has fallen out in big chunks.

I feel bad, yet I want to say, " Seeeeeee, I told you so." But as a mature parent I am not allowed to do that.

Today we will be cutting all his hair off. So the big bald spots won't show as much.

Hair is a big deal in 8th grade, so not sure if he will actually survive this ordeal.

I wish I could take a picture of his bald spots. maybe I can sneek in while he is sleeping?

He is home in bed "sick"

I wish I had something funny to say about this.

but I dont

xo,

locks of love…12 inches of pure love

2011-11-01T20:23:00.000-06:00

Olive finally did it...

12 Inches of pure love to Locks of Love…Thanks to Tina Garcia @ Station 336 Longmont

so fricken cute!

Love in the form of a sassy smile!

Bubba and short haired Olive!

Daddoo, is not happy, but as a dear friend m Kris said…"do it now, it will be grown out by middle school"

heehee, I think it is beyind adorable.

Powpuff Girl…Bubbles, Halloween

2011-10-29T12:55:00.000-06:00

The head was finished with about 6 layers of plain ol paper mache, then left to dry for a few days.

We primed it with tacky primer (grey).

I then got acrylic paints to start the painting.

The "flesh color" (who's flesh, huh?)

was not right, so I had to go out and get some diferent colors.

Painted...

and painted

then got Daddoo to do some painting ….

oooh now whe is looking like something….

I thiught we should do the angry Bubbles, but the smile was cute!

Mommy got the ears on…they are flat, but worked perfect. (held on with Popscicle sticks)

Let's try it on!!!

(we drilled little holes then put screen over it and painted it for the eyes)

Worked ok… should have done the eyes first.

lookie!

heehee.

Go Olive…errr I mean Bubbles!

And as our frined Chris said, Hopefully she won't stand to close to any kid who might think she is a Pinata.

happy halloween!

Cooking to make my liver happy

2011-10-23T16:13:00.000-06:00

My liver is killing me.

Seriously. I even copped out of riding the Motorcyle to Denver to do more drinking with friends this afternoon just to give it a rest.

I hope it thanks me.

I started my weekend hanging out with my friend Kris. We began knitting at 9 am, which did not include drinking, although at that point I wished it had. Later in the day we ended up at Oskar Blues to do more knitting and let the girls hang out in the play area, while we did some more drinking. Then the men joined us which meant more drinking and food…then home, only to start all over the next mid morning. We headed to Grimm Brothers Brewery, drank and knit…the men talked motorcycles, then when we were done there we headed to Kris's house to sit outside with the fire pit, let the girls play and do, yes you got it, more drinking. Today we were to go to Denver to see some friends and drink some more, but I stayed home to cook. Sheeeewwwww. I had to, I just couldn't drink another drop, until later at least.

I cooked today. I made stew for Bobby, enough to eat and one batch to freeze.

I made these divine Apple Muffins from the website "the girl who ate everything"

the batter was so thick! then Olive sprinkled the brown sugar on top

Kid's ate the leftover batter, gross

Wilma enjoyed them

Ilin gave them the thumbs up

so go check out that recipe.

Now I'm making veggie pot pies, gonna do my p90x and knit some more

have a great fall day!

Vegetarian French Onion Soup

2011-10-21T15:02:00.000-06:00

Last night I finally cut into the big bag of onions we picked at Miller Farms.

I apparently have never used a truely fresh onion, because these onions were full of moisture, not super eye killing and so tasty.

I made some divine

Vegetarian French Onion Soup

Olive oil and or butter (Whichever you prefer, I added both)

5-7 large Onions

1 clove garlic

mustard powder or brown sandwich mustard

1/2 T. sugar

Thyme to taste

S&P to taste

1-2 boxes Veggie Broth (I used Organic boxed)

splash of soy sauce (optional)

for the Top:

Baguette

Grueyerre cheese or Swiss ( Swiss is easier to find)

Thinly slice all the onions.

Chop one clove of garlic

Use a large, heavy bottomed pot and heat the oil and butter

Add the onions.

It seems like a lot, but the will cook down.

Stir the onions and at this point I add the sugar, mustard, and Thyme.

let cook, but stir occasionally…it will make quite a bit of liquid but it will cook out.

As the onions start to brown turn down the heat, [ut the lid on and let them cook for about an hour, stirring eery 10-15 minutes. They will begin to turn brown.

After about an hour, and the onions all look cooked, there may be a bit of browness stuck to the bottom of your pan, slowly add the broth and soy sauce while stirring and scraping the brown off the bottom.

Add as much broth to make it soupy.

When all done, taste and add seasoning.

put in bowl add crouton/sliced french bread, and cheese,

put under broiler in oven at 500 for 1 minute until Cheese is melted.

Eat it…yummmmmmm

Baaaa

2011-10-15T14:32:00.000-06:00

We went to Miller Farms yesterday.

I fell in love with her

P90x…did one day..or day one

2011-10-11T16:08:00.000-06:00

how I hate and love this man at the same time.

He is over 50…he's sexy, and he's bad ass…and I'm pretty sure he dates a 20 year old.

But today I got my Jillian Michael's DVD out and said, "Girl, I love you, but today you won't cut it…I need Bad Ass"

So P90x it was

Now my arms are like piece of spaghetti…

The costumes are started

2011-10-11T08:27:00.000-06:00

As you may or may not remember, last year I threw together the Deadmau5 head for Ilin Blue. Since Ilin is getting a bit older, this year, he is in charge of his own and Olive gets the creation. ( Although I feel the Princess Lea was pretty good last year too.)

I definitely lack in the parenting department…but for what I lack there, I like to think I make up in Halloween costumes and Xmas decor…and cursing.

I started last night on the Power Puff Girl Bubbles.

Step 1: go to neighbors and get all recycled Newspaper, you will need a lot

Step 2: Rip, or cut, into strips.

step 3: make paste….1 C. white flour, 2 cups water (or until right consistency)

I had a hard time finding a beach ball…so Ilin had the idea to use a big balloon.

it must be bigger than the kid's head.

start the process. You want to stabilize the balloon on a big bowl. make sure you have an area where you can clean up easily. It's messy. This is the first layer. You have to let the layers dry of you will have a nasty mess. It always takes longer for it to dry then you think, especially if it is a bit chilly.

Layer one done…about 10 more layers to do.

I'll keep ya posted.

I'm praying it works…because there is nothing like a a Halloween costume which goes awry 3 days before the big day

xo,

Monday's walk 365 days

2011-10-10T11:36:00.002-06:00

dog and me, originally uploaded by v8grrl.

I got out of bed….

it was a feat, considering I couldn't sleep until 2:45 am

Life is hard, but

2011-10-07T15:40:00.000-06:00

You just keep on going. Well, that is the game plan anyways. The past few months I have had a hard time coming to the realization that I work. It seems odd doesn't it? I went to school to become a nurse and couldn't wait to get started. Now, I'm exhausted and my little pea brain can't wrap itself around the fact I MUST go to work 3-12 hour shifts a week to keep myself employed and the family with benefits. It's not much to ask, so what is wrong with me? Before I got this coveted full time benefited position I worked halftime and I was happy and functioning, although a bit guilt ridden. You see, I worked 3 shifts a pay period (in 2 weeks). The money was less, the benefits not as good, but I was happy....and I could pick up extra shifts for "golden time" if I wanted.

Is it me? Just never satisfied? possibly...

Is it working the 12 hour night shifts and being a crappy sleeper? maybe

Or is it the fact I just want to be a stay at home mom and go to knitting group in the morning and volunteer for the kids field trips?

( go check out Monster By Mail...so cool)

this picture actually looks like me :)

You see, if I could just figure out how to function I'm sure it would be better. How can I incorporate real life and 12 hour night shifts? How can I work out? How can I grocery shop or garden when I am so tired...or better yet zombiefied? 3-12's, a lot of people would die for that!...Even I'm not sure I could go back to 5-8's.

Life is hard, but it seems to me its even harder when you can't grasp the reality it hands you. There are no classes for this, or really good pieces of advice. You just keep doing what you need to do.

My friendships, at this point in my life, are non existent which makes life non escapable.

There is no Friday Afternoon Club to attend or couples family fun night.

It's an abyss.

Its life.

It's time to figure it out.

You guys have a great weekend

Somehow my schedule got all put at the end of one week and the beginning of another so I have 3-12's on one night off the 3 more 12's

basically 6/12 hour shifts in a row.

Thats basically an 80 hour work week in 6 days….at night.

ps: and people wonder why I'm such a crotch

What a Good Day, knit, run, falldown

2011-10-05T11:18:00.001-06:00

Today was late start at school, which I forgot so I was screaming at 730, " Get Up!!! GEt UP!!!!"

Only to hear Olive go, "Mom, Its late start."

Oh, ok go back to sleep

which I did, but apparently they could not, so they were up clanking around the house.

I got a workout in, went out to walk all the kids to school and there was a MOM!!!! Joan, from Joan and Bill, who live a few blocks over. She said, "hey, I'll ride with the kids this morning since I never get to."

Well OK...sweet.

You see, it's kind of a thing in our neighborhood since they took our crossing guard away. We take turns walking the kids to the big intersection, crossing the street, then letting them go. Whichever parent has the most guilt or most free time is the one who does it. Which puts me in the lead in both categories. But not today, I got a break !

I tld you guys about falling while running a few days ago right? The picture does not capture the purple on my chicken sticks

lovely...now they really look like 12 year old's legs.

Man they hurt. I didn't even put my flipping hands down....Although I did try to do a shoulder roll, but the train tracks were not condusive to a roll, so it was a smack and a skid.

I am still working on this great knitting shawl called Vlad. I'm hoping to finish it this century, then I can get my friend Kris B to help me block it.

Here's what I got:

here's what it should look like when done:

calliopeknits at flikr

I'm starting to have my doubts.

Well, I'm on a roll, so I better keep it moving and try to stay away from crawling back into bed, since that has been my MO lately

miss you guys...

Nursing report Telemetry

2011-10-05T09:00:00.000-06:00

I'm trying something for my friends at Allnurses. seeing if I can figure out a way to upload a report for them to copy. If you are an RN and want a report, feel free to copy this one. I think if you click the picture you can save it and print it full size.

I do what I have to do...

2011-10-04T17:51:00.000-06:00

Right?

Right....

Here's what I did today.

I came home from work at 8 am, slept...then thought

I thought long and hard, and made a decision that I thought I would have liked to have happened when I was 15.

So, when Blue came home from school. I took him to Floyds to get a haircut, which one I don't know, because for 25 dollars they really didn't cut much of anything...but whatever

Then to Target....

then I took this kid:

To Planned Parenthood....unbeknownst (sp?)

to him.

He didn't act freaked or surprised, really.

We walked around the glass to the counter, where there was this adorable 20 something girl working.

"Hi, can I help you?"

"Yup, I'm bringing my son in here so he knows where his options are...if need be"

"Oh cool...well, right there to your left are condoms...free or donation....we can help with anything that you need...and there are a bunch of pamphlets on the wall...and there are some pamphlets about how to talk to your teens about sex....but I think you might have that one covered" (big grin from her).

"yeah, Thank you .....Blue, here are the condoms, not that you need these or will need them EVER, but if one of your "friends" may need one, or you guys have an issue you can come here, and they will help you, you know, if you are a bit confused...or whatever. Buying condoms at the Walgreens is sometimes nerve wracking...so here, please be safe when you need to be."

He didn't get any, but he looked at the lady and said thanks...looked around, got his bearings and I could tell he was taking mental notes.

We got in the car and I said,"Just so you know there is another place to go, if you can't talk to me...but you can always talk to me.

"Thanks mom, it's cool"

I wish to God, my parents had given me more than trial and error when I was his age.

YO...I'm not dead...just tired

2011-09-24T15:55:00.001-06:00

I'm not dead, I have just been working a crazy schedule, along with dealing with the kids: Homecoming,book fairs, conferences...it barely leaves any time for myself.

Hmmmph.

I started a little project, maybe even one I can finish.

It's going to be a Pixel Painting.

I had Bobby take this picture (I'm not going to say what it is) and Pixelate it in PS.

We Pixelated it down to about 8 shades of black,...ummmm you know, greys and such.

I am right now attempting to number them.

This is taking longer than expected due to drinking. It is my day off and I like to live to the fullest on those days, so if I have to art it up while a bit tipsy I'll have to face the consequences right?

Once I get it all numbered in my 1" boxes I will start mixing the paint, then Off I will go!

Note to everyone, I have never painted before...so this is a crap shoot.

Here's a short real life story for you.

At work the other night, I cleaned up so much poop I thought I was working at the Zoo.

I had a lil ol lady who every time I stood her up to get on the potty it would just pour out, even through her depends. (not so dependable in that moment). At one point she asked what we did to her? "why did you do this to me? in a thick Jewish accent)...You are a very bad person." I gently explained to her, as I hopped from one Dansko to the other, it was the other nurse, NOT me. I would never do this to anyone especially knowing I had to clean it up.
She realized I was right then said "You Poor Poor Child, why do you do this work?"
I replied, "Right now, I haven't a clue".

The splatter was amazing. My CNA was growling and I was wishing I had on full terrorist gear.

After approximately 4 hours of water poop she stopped...like a miracle of sorts.

This was only 1 of 5 of my patients and 4 of them were incontinent to stool as we say in the biz.

My night was long and stinky...

Finally the shift ended, and as I sat in my car, organizing myself for the drive home, I learned a valuable lesson.

Never use the Heated leather seats when you smell like shit.

It amplifies it 20 fold, and in a small car it is bad bad news.

There...don't tell me I have never taught you anything.

xo,

the outcast in a meaty world

2011-09-08T15:06:00.000-06:00

I come from a Mid Western Meat Eating Family.

There, I said it.

Because of this small fact I have often been the butt of bad jokes, the outcast and misunderstood. Not just me, but my kids too. The strange thing about this is that it isn't the world around me...it's the immediate world within my circle. I decided to stop eating meat when I was around 13. It was a conscious decision after seeing a propaganda film about veal. Let me tell you, it was not an easy decision, we lived in the South, and veal was a common meal at our table. At that time we didn't have Satellite TV and Google...we had Encyclopedia Britannia and the Dewey Decimal System. I never preached my veggieness and still don't...Although I do teach my kids to be strong and proud of the choice to not eat meat. ( and at this point it is a choice for them...they can eat whatever they want in school).

The vast acquaintances I meet are very respectful and interested in the choice. During Potlucks they always say, "oh this one is Vegetarian...no cheese too!" (Proudly) They ask questions, albeit in a sympathetic, "Oh I tried that and nearly died" kind of way But they don't scoff and say, "Eat a piece of meat, you will feel better" when I have a cold.

My immediate family on all sides has never been so kind. From feeding the kids meat when they were little, "because a little bacon never hurt anyone" . To suggesting we are unhealthy because of our weights. ( see noted picture of my son in above post).

Here is what I am getting at with this post...There are entire countries who only eat plant based diets. I know my family is going to feel a bit angry when reading this, including my hubbys family....(or maybe they wont) but I would like to take a minute to say I have high cholesterol on top of all I do...I can only imagine what it would be if I ate meat everyday. I came from the same parent ( at least one) as you all did, so I am not some weird phenomenon within our gene pool. People may feel vegetarianism is radical or severe...me thinking about cutting out dairy will surely put them over the edge....But isn't open heart surgery radical? Bowel Removal? Triple bypass? Gastric Bypass? Diabetes meds you have to take 3 times a day? Those too, are very extreme measures, especially when compared to a diet change. See? See, what I mean? Yet, we roll our eyes at a natural diet and coddle the people who have found their selves sick, overweight and standing in the line at Walmart with a cart full of processed food.

I see many of my friends and family struggle with health and making healthy decisions but I want to encourage them to try to make a change. A real change. Not overnight, but to stop making excuses and saying things like, "I'm addicted to food" or "I DO eat pretty healthy, I had a veggie burger last night". To pick one small thing and do it...do it so you will live longer, so we can enjoy each other...so the kids can enjoy each other...so I don't have to worry about my friends and family always being sick and depressed...

It has been 30 years for me, I have never once told anyone, " I can't believe YOU only eat meat" but right now I am going to say, " Please people, if you haven't started to change your diets...do it. Stop the boxed foods. Stop the sodas and chicken nuggets...Eat something that is fresh, take a minute to prepare it, and teach your family it's ok to be healthy and different.

Let's do it together...I can always use encouragement, and I can always give encouragement.

xo, m

I love you guys...I just want you to be healthy, and when I have a heart attack from my high cholesterol you can point your fingers...but until then, can't you just give it a try?

Just in case there is a chemical war

2011-09-06T09:47:00.000-06:00

He's ready....

From Tour De Fat this weekend in Ft Collins. Bubba went with his dad, on his new bike.

(and yes, I feed him, although it's not apparent from this picture)

This morning I went for a nice 4 mile run. My run o meter says I burned 311 calories, which being the masochist I am I tell myself it's really only 211 calories and eat accordingly. I will do arms and gut this after noon.

Fall has come quickly here. It dropped 20 degrees in a day. My Pumpkins are turning orange and I can see all the projects I wanted to get done, yet didn't,

Oh well, I have nothing but time, right?

workout day!

2011-08-31T16:38:00.000-06:00

I worked last night and have to work again tonight, but I managed to squeeze in some heavy lifting with the encouragement of Lepetite Jen

this is not Jen, but this is what she would do if she was here :)

Here's what I did

Jump squats no weights 3x12

plie jump squats 10 # 3x12

Romanian dead lifts 12# 3x12 (wasn't real sure how to do these properly, even after video)

lying leg curls 35# 3x12

butt lift 5# each hip 2 minutes

planks 1 min x2

too hot to run for me it's 95 out yuk!

I hope I can keep it up, because when I'm not working out I feel yukky.

gotta go to work, night 2 of 3

It's gonna be a long day

2011-08-29T08:54:00.000-06:00

Got a bit tipsy last night. Forgot to lock the car which wouldn't be a big deal except I left my purse in there...

This morning I have spent all morning canceling credit cards and such ...

#1 question they ask when you call to cancel?

"What's your credit card number?"

UHHHHH? I don't have it...it was stolen.

Lord.

that no knead bread they are all talkin about

2011-08-24T08:40:00.000-06:00

So, I haven't really done anything fabulous in a while. This lil number was as debatable as fabulous, but I liked it.

Its the No Knead Bread from Jim Lahey

The first loaf I made I tried some whole wheat flour...It failed miserably. It was a flat gummy mess. The next one, I just used the exact formula (duh) and it was quite good. Yummy good, with a slight taste of sourdough.

If you make it, you need a cast iron pot. I used a 5 qt. I didn't have one, so I went to Bed, Bath and Beyond....that sucker was 148$ !!!!

screw that. I then remembered I had seen some at World Market...they were 49$ and came in all kinds of groovy colors. PERFECT!!!

hint #2: only use the 1/4 t. yeast, don't be tempted to add more.

Well Here's the recipe. I've heard there are many variations on the internet, but this is the real one...you can also youtube it.

this is after I let it rise for 12 hours then dumped it onto a floured piece of parchment

then it had to rise again for about 2 hours

the final outcome...yummy!!!!!

We dipped the pieces in Olive oil, red pepper flakes, balsamic vinegar, salt and pepper.

here's the recipe:

3 cups (430g) flour

1½ cups (345g or 12oz) water

¼ teaspoon (1g) yeast

1¼ teaspoon (8g) salt

olive oil (for coating)

extra flour, wheat bran, or cornmeal (for dusting)

Equipment:

Two medium mixing bowls

6 to 8 quart pot with lid (Pyrex glass, Le Creuset cast iron, or ceramic)

Wooden Spoon or spatula (optional)

Plastic wrap

Two or three cotton dish towels (not terrycloth)

Process:

Mix all of the dry ingredients in a medium bowl. Add water and incorporate by hand or with a wooden spoon or spatula for 30 seconds to 1 minute. Lightly coat the inside of a second medium bowl with olive oil and place the dough in the bowl. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and let the dough rest 12 hours at room temperature (approx. 65-72°F).

Remove the dough from the bowl and fold once or twice. Let the dough rest 15 minutes in the bowl or on the work surface. Next, shape the dough into ball. Generously coat a cotton towel with flour, wheat bran, or cornmeal; place the dough seam side down on the towel and dust with flour. Cover the dough with a cotton towel and let rise 1-2 hours at room temperature, until more than doubled in size.

Preheat oven to 450-500°F. Place the pot in the oven at least 30 minutes prior to baking to preheat. Once the dough has more than doubled in volume, remove the pot from the oven and place the dough in the pot seam side up. Cover with the lid and bake 30 minutes Then remove the lid and bake 15-30 minutes uncovered, until the loaf is nicely browned.

good luck! let me know how it turns out!

xo, m

spent some moolah...

2011-08-22T10:22:00.000-06:00

I just couldnt take it anymore. I needed to start fixing my living room!

I went out and bought this couch set, minus the side chair.

*(that is not my living room)

It's semi modern looking, a neutral color...grey is neutral, right?

We hope it matches the green carpet and yellow walls.

The chair I have been recovering...well It better match too.

I'm not super fond of the pillows, but I can recover those with some of the fabric from the chair. I also had purchased 2 yellow pillows and some black and white graphic pillows to tie it all together

I'm still going to have to do something about the white curtains I bought. I just dont like them...they need a sheer or something under them

I'll figure that out.

It was so hard to pick out a couch! it took us about 2 .5 hours. We looked at everything, took pictures, then went back and sat on them all. We talked about dog hair and kids...and decided the kids need to sit on the floor and the dog needs to be locked up.

It will be delivered tomorrow.

Today I started my running again. 4 miles done

I ate a nice cup of greek yogurt with a spoon of organic peanut butter mixed in.

I'm going to head upstairs and make bread...

I wonder how that will work out.

Its the NO KNEAD CRUSTY BREAD

I'll take some photos.

have a great day

upholstery hell

2011-08-16T13:05:00.034-06:00

From the depths of the basement and Re-uphosltery hell, and just to say I can do it...

remember this post

" Step One of Re upholstery of a chair"

It started like this purple mess, stained and ripped.

Then to my weary hands and eyes I continued on, hoping to one day complete the project.

When I started, Osama Bin Laden was still alive

See this Post

Lord, I'm slow.

I'm still stapling and pulling and trying to figure it out.

I have decided that it can't look any worse than it did, and my new motto is why keep it if we aren't going to use it....

So, Fix the DAMN thing!

(or ditch it, it can't be any worse)

Here I'm stapling, just to hold something in place so that I may tug the other side.

from the front: not too shabby, still a ton of stapling and fabric, and I'm not even showing you the back yet!!!!

upholstery hell, originally uploaded by v8grrl.

The side, which still needs the entire side done....but it's getting there.

This was time consuming, and daunting, but once I said, "screw it" ( so, not Miss Design Blogger) and started stapling it started moving faster.

I probably could have bought a new chair for about 300$ from IKEA

but this will make me happier, knowing I can do it myself.

The cost:

fabric: 42$

Staples:7$

Loss of confidence: ***

I'll keep ya posted.

Now you attempt it!

A long ago Meteor Shower of Love

2011-08-15T15:42:00.001-06:00

from Katy Daisy Prints

The Perseid Meteor Shower made me think of love.

Shooting stars, wishes, dark, warm nights....and if you have never experienced a meteor shower when you were with a fresh love then you have missed out.

I remember being in my 20's, in Atlanta and trusting of all. We hopped into a car, the boy I was smitten with, and headed to Stone Mountain ( i believe that is where it was). The night was warm, and back then, the further you got from downtown the clearer the night sky became. It was very late and I remember him saying, " I want to show you something." I was not from Atlanta, but he was...and he was full of knowledge.

He parked the truck and said, "come on." I was afraid we were trespassing, and we probably were, but the South is known for trespassing and there were other trucks parked. We walked down a treed path, dark as dark could be. He held my hand, and with him, I was never afraid. We walked for under a 1/4 mile I would guess, quietly giggling and shushing each other. The path opened into a huge space. A space surrounded by tall trees and kudzu and carpeted with warm dry grass. The sky was black and the stars were like pinpoints of light....like glitter.... it was beautiful.

"Can we be here?"

" We are all ready here."

He pulled me to the ground and said look, look at it all, and we are so close to the city. Looking at the stars made life stop. The vastness of it all yet being so close we could hear each other breathe. Life stopped rarely in my 20's, but this night was different. The stars, the meteors, the locusts, the warmth, and the love that was forming between us...something only open, young hearts can experience.

"That is the Scorpion Tail and over there is Orion's Belt".

"Is that the 3 Sisters?" I asked as I pointed to the right.

"Yes"...

I remember never wanting to leave, never wanting to let go of his hand or his heart, and never thinking I would have to.

To this day I still think of that evening...and the many evenings he taught me beauty in a world which was moving way too fast. The passion of the warm summer nights only 2 young hearts could find.

The space from there to here is unforgiving and absolute.

Time never stops now, it just keeps moving forward, passion lost in the mundane. Yet I find the time to look up and remember and to be thankful of the hearts on our sleeves and the meteors in that warm Atlanta summer sky.

The deck is done!

2011-08-14T14:51:00.000-06:00

It's done, let the "sitting" commence!

Well, it could use 1 more coat of stain, but I can do that easily.

Here it was a month ago

The final cost, 1200$ about, including the stain which seemed to be the most expensive.

Now for the yard which has been terribly neglected.

ooooh...lets get some stuff to put on it!

we removed the railings and benches so that we would have more room for seating and plants. do you think I still have enough time to put some fresh plants out there?

I'm so glad its done...I would be sitting out there right now, except its sprinkling...of course.

Design inspiration?

2011-08-13T15:59:00.001-06:00

Trying to get inspired.

I need big canvas paintings...

I guess I could paint that huh?

I think it brings a lot to the walls and room

looks cozy...

Love it!

The mirror from the other post doesn't fit over my mantle. grrrr
so now what?
Maybe when I get some more stuff in the room I can just lean it against a wall, but if I did that now it would look like I just left it sitting there.

So I've hung the white curtains and now they need hemmed, yet I don't really care for the whiteness. Maybe I can put a sheer behind it? It's the big corner window, which is on traverse rods. Hmmmm

Here is my update for this weekend so far:

deck finished and stained,

curtains hung,

all rooms vacuumed (that sucked the life outta me)

now I'm on here trying to figure out what type of art to hang/paint

wish me luck.

Medication Error lesson.

2011-08-11T14:59:00.000-06:00

My new job is going ok...just in case you were wondering.

Tonight is night 3 of 3, which is often easier because you usually have the same patients.

I had my first real Medication Error last night. OMG, you are thinking? Well people, it happens, and I'm gonna tell you how. It happens to all RNs at some point and it is scary but it makes us realize that we are human, and we MUST take our time when nursing. Nothing is that rushed that we can't take our TIME!!!! Let me preface this little lesson by saying it could have been a LOT worse. I didn't kill anyone, thank god! And it wasn't a drug which would have killed anyone in the dose I was giving it.

When I got on shift, my patient needed pain meds for a Femur surgery he had 3 days prior. He was taking Percocet (aka Oxycodone with a bit of tylenol...aka Hillbilly heroin). The nurse gave me the info in report that she had given 2 percocets at 500pm (my shift started at 7) I was busy at the start of shift, I took my time and looked over the medication lists for all my patients and started my assessments. I did my eval on the patient who needed pain meds and went to get his meds. I pulled up the medication which he could have up to 2 pills evey 6 hours. I got the 2 pills and gave the patient the medications at 830 pm. When I went to mark the medications off the list and verify that I had given them on the computer charting, it gave me a notification that the medications had all ready been pulled. The previous nurse had not signed the order, which in return allowed me to give him the med again :(

Basically the guy was double dosed. Good news, he was huge, and that medication is often given to chronic pain patients every 3 hours. Outcome? : patient slept like a rock, snoring like a champ...might I add Pain Free, all night long....and I learned to double check every thing, and then check again.

The living room is coming along nicely. Walls are painted a Ginger Yellow, 1 set of white curtains hung, but still need hemmed. One more set of curtains need pinned and hung then hemmed....then new furniture.

We got a loan for the roof and the bathroom. I have sent the check for the roof, so that is first.

I have fallen behind in my cash savings which freaks me out, but this next pay check (my first as a fulltime night RN) should help.

I was inspired by a couple of friends of facebook to start my running training again.

so 5k 4 days a week is on my list.

Anyone else want to train?

I did what I am now calling P35.5x 9 because I don't have time for 90 minutes of workouts.

Ideas, I'm actually thinking again!

2011-08-02T11:13:00.000-06:00

From Mind my beeswax blog

Since I am still trying to figure out my living space I have been collecting pictures.

I have this really cool vintage mirror I found in the garbage years ago and I thought something like above would be cool, but with a twist.

Its been sitting in the garage, waiting for the love.

This weekend we will see what she can give me in the beauty department!, I'll post pictures.

summer is nearly over and the deck is still not done.

oh well pick your battles.

gotta sleep, i gotta work tonight so ....maybe something fun will happen at work

new job tonight

2011-07-31T13:39:00.000-06:00

Tonight I head to my new employment.

I will be training with someone I have never met, on a floor I've never been to, and with people I don't know. I don't even know where the bathroom is. I have had to take an EKG test, which went ok...and now a BKAT which is a basic nursing test which I can't remember anything on.

I will be learning new things which I wasn't worried about until today. I printed a common drug list for the cardiac drugs and I am reviewing my emergency drugs. It's like going back to school. I am hoping and praying they don't think I'm an idiot. Which, honestly, right now I am feeling like one. I hope that I haven't made the wrong decision. Leaving the comfort of my other floor where I knew something and knew the people for unknown territory. I keep hearing Liz's voice , "you will be back." Was it a premonition or just a snarky remark to send me off.

When I left my job I always thought there would be an email of thanks or a party or something. 6 years of my life, and i just walked off the floor at the end of my shift and no one said a word except for one older nurse who said she was sad I was leaving.

My schedule for the next few days is a bit hectic. They scheduled me every other night which would kill the normal person, but I'm going to suck it up and just go for it.

Please keep your fingers crossed for me.

write ya later,

friends whatever

2011-07-28T20:55:00.001-06:00

You now what sucks the big one?

I'll tell you...here, let me give it to you without the fancy packaging.

FRIENDS...or the so called...i guess it would be better to call them pass throughs.

It's the leave the job, or whatever, and then you are the outcast.

It's not just job, it's in general. As you know I have some pretty dear friends. As you get older friends are harder and harder to come by.

I, personally, take my friendships extremely seriously. I'm guessing that is why I only have a few. If something happens, you can count on me...but on the other hand...I'm not gonna think 3 times about you if you are a fair weather friend.

(notice how I said 3...I'm a bit slow)

frienships are harder than love relationships because they are harder to let go. I'm the type that just has to cut it loose because I know in my heart I am the one that cares more, so it is easier to just forget about it than to keep dragging it out....like a bad hang nail

back to the subject:

I left my place of employment where I met some great people.

it bums me out that I know in my head I will never really see them and again and they could give a shit less.

(insecurity at its finest)

It sucks that you can't put an ad out for new friends, because I have a ton to offer.

Wanted:

cool milf friend who likes to drink microbrews, knit, run, hang out and just chit chat 1-2 times a week. preferably has kids, is not "religious" and willing to start at 7 am or any given time.

must be flexible.

must have a sense of humor...

a real sense of humor....

and willing to try new things.

please email asap

desperate

well...there you have it...you can tell I'm in a transition. I'm sure its my fault or my shitty attitude, but that should be a plus.

ps new job is going good...people are nice, willing to teach, and its been ok.

imagine that?

all done with the reboot...

2011-07-27T16:33:00.000-06:00

YEA!!!!

Even though I am done, I believe I will continue to juice during the day. Today I juiced breakfast, snack and lunch. I feel fine. It keeps me from feeling heavy.

I really don't know how many people honestly have the will power. But I guess if you realize that you may slip up but keep on going it works. 2 Fritos won't kill anyone...i don't think.

It's been a busy week for me. I have been orienting at a new job and feels like I have been in Nursing school all week, and if you guys remember...I did not super enjoy it the first time.

Dinner tonight for the fam:

Grilled Salmon

Fresh green beans

and i'm not sure what else.

Because I'm weak day 4.5

2011-07-27T07:17:00.001-06:00

this post was for last night.

I did great all day....nothing just juice and that was extremely hard when they served lasagna at the meeting.
BUT!!!!
I went out with a girlfriend to get a manicure and my will power gave in. I had a martini and a half a mozzarella and basil panini...I felt crappy this morn. :(
BUT #2 I'm back on the juice today, so with me luck at me new job orientation and that temptation doesn't get me....
The real problem is I'm getting ready for my monthly problem and its making me HUNGRY!!!!

I have a bit more energy,
maybe I'll actually do something today I: run...workout?
we will see

write ya later

Happy Birthday Dana D....old lady

2011-07-25T19:07:00.000-06:00

My first day of work in Boulder Colorado I had to call in sick because I was puking and crying on the way to work. All I could think was that this lady gave me a job, knew nothing about me, and here I am snot and puke out the car door begging it to go away. My boyfriend at the time called in, "She's really sick, and she really wants to come in but she looks awful".

They granted me the day off. Maybe they thought I wouldn't come back.

I went back and that began my life at the Walnut Cafe, with my first away from home family I ever had. And boy howdy, were we a family, bitchiness and all.

My bosses were slave drivers...I swear to god. I can't tell you how many times I heard,

"Oh you crybaby, put your big girl panties on and suck it up...."

Then 2 hours later, "Come on Red, have a piece of Pie with me"

grrrrrrrr

How many tearful events in the back thinking I can't work another day? Then back I go, smile and do it...and actually love it after the fact.

How many margarita bitch sessions were held at Casa Alvarez? Too many to count.

She was there for the birth of my son, right there with the rest of my family (walnut cafe)...rooting me on...then quietly telling after all was said and done, "Man, I ain't NEVER having a baby...that was crazy!"

She found me a sitter, so I could come back to work and not worry about it...and if I remember correctly she even paid her, so I wouldn't freak out, because I tend to freak out.

For that, I was forever grateful.

One time I asked her how the Walnut happened...She said she was all ready working, might as well own the place...she told me she was gonna be a millionaire in time to enjoy it...saved her money, borrowed a bit...and worked her ass off, and if you have seen her you know she has no ass...Now, I'm not saying she is a millionaire, but I know for a fact she is a millionaire in heart felt love and compassion ( and probably not hurting for dough, either.)

She is an amazing woman, More than our community could ever know. She takes things in stride, doesn't gloat, and piles it on. She is there when you need it...be it a kidney, money for a fund raiser or even a few kind words. She is a friend above friends.

She has made our community see equal rights aren't just for big city crazy gays ( I love you)...It's for all of us...right here, who serve you breakfast every morning. She made it a safe place to show your love in any old direction. She makes people realize love is love...and you can't deny love, especially with pie and Dana, in all her glory, shoving it in your face for a dollar a slice....while you wait for a table.

Today is her Birthday...

Her half a century

and man D...

My life would have been so different without you.

I am so thankful...

for you

Beautiful

loving

amazing you

PS:

I know for a fact she IS enjoying it...so when you see her out surfing, riding, scootering,snowboarding, hiking,...whatever,

give her the the thumbs up.

and be thankful she is on humanity's side.

day 3 juicing reboot

2011-07-25T18:20:00.000-06:00

Honestly ...I'm starving.

I want to eat something.

the only thing better about today is that I didn't visualize someones nationailty as a food source like some bad Warner Brothers Cartoon.

mmmmm fooood

But I'm still drinking juice.

I had new employee orientation today and one problem with the juicing is that I had to pee about 10 times this afternoon...which is not conducive to the orientation time schedule.

How do I feel?

I feel fine... I was a little sleepy today, but that may have been because I was bored from the training. I worked out yesterday and am trying to decide if I wanna run today. It's really hot...maybe I'll just do abs.

I haven't really pooped yet, which is a bit of a bummer because I thought for sure it would let loose....but today, nothing, just some beet colored peepee.

yesterday I had a super yummy juice...super yummy, the best one, yet.

1/2 cucumber

3 stalks celery

1 green apple

handful of mint

and a squeeze of lemon

Bobby is still drinking juice and having some food too. Mostly juice...then meat, which yes, defeats the purpose, but he figures if he is at least juicing too he is getting more than he usually would. Makes sense.

We can talk more about how I feel tomorrow.

I really don't see this changing the way I really eat. Some of that is because I eat fairly well all ready. I will try to keep the extra sugars and whites from my diet , but a big piece of french bread, Olive oil, a chunk of blue cheese and some olives are what I'm thinking of right now.

mmmmmm

olives

reboot day 1.5

2011-07-24T09:54:00.001-06:00

first juicing experience was, let's just say...earthy. I kind of went overboard:

5 kale leaves,

cucumber

1 red beet

4 stalks of celery

Whole lemon (not a good idea)

3 carrots

3 granny smith apples

it made enough for Bobby and I (2 pints)...it smelled like earth and tasted like the wet lawn...but we drank it. Bobby chugged his. I slowly drank mine then added a bit of ice and choked down the rest.

I had 62 oz of water in the next 3 hours.

I noticed the mental hunger pains right away. We were at the pool and I started thinking about the nachos they were eating from the concession oooey gooey disgusting nachos that I would NEVER think of eating.

It got so bad, every time a person with a distinct Nationality walked by I would think :

mmmm I could eat some sushi

yummy I could eat some burritos

ooooh yeah, babaganoush

that was pretty bad.

the meal plan for the reboot has you eat one raw meal, so last night I had all raw veggie salad with broccoli slaw (which comes prepared ...no dressing just julianned veggies) i added fresh yellow pole beans, 1 tomato and a splash of apple cider and mustard...shook it up, a few squirts of hot-sauce...done (just typing hot sauce makes me hungry).

Bobby, on the other hand apparently snuck in and had a tuna sandwich on white bread...oh well.

This morning I woke up, not hungry really, still haven't pooped, but I don't have a headache or anything like they said I might.

for breakfast i had:

strawberries,

3 stalks celery

3 carrots

nectarine

1 granny smith

1 red delish

it was quite yummy

I have many chores to do, including body maintenance ie: wax, paint, color

gonna try to stay busy enough to not think about it.

Juicing for a reboot...what's next?

2011-07-23T12:53:00.000-06:00

I may have told you, or maybe not...I may have mentioned it in passing. I have high cholesterol. Bummer huh? I'm veg, I run, I'm not overweight, but my LDL is inching up. Last check I was at 242. That sucks. Yes, as the dr. says, "sometimes it's the luck of the draw"

I'm not on any meds, I refuse. I guess I'll just wait to stroke out. That seems a bit selfish huh?

Many of you who have read my blog know I love a challenge. Health is always a fun one. I'm up for anything, especially if it can show that normal people ( 42 year old, nightshift working mom, drinker, bitcher and complainer) can do these things too. Here is my new one...and I'm going to honestly blog it for the next 7-10 days.

I watched Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead with Bobby the other night and it was truly pretty amazing. It made sense, perfect sense, that eating non processed foods could possibly heal your body. Let me tell you a secret....even Bobby said,

(The one with the glasses is Bobby, the epitome of health)

"You know, I think I'd like to try that" That is no short of a miracle. He is not unhealthy, but he does NOT embrace health, but I have noticed that things have slowly started to change after the stint in ICU over Thanksgiving. He is also watching his younger brother go through Ulcerative Colitis (an autoimmune disease) and it is really making him think.

Today I headed to Target, bought a juicer, which was on sale for 54$ and then headed to the farmer's market and bought a fill it up for 12$ of organic produce...and today I am going to start. Bobby is cramming in some pizza and beer for lunch before he starts, which made me laugh...but whatever it takes. I am going to say that, he probably won't make it, because he doesn't have great will power and hell, I may not either, but I'll let you know how I feel.

I have to go get some apples...later my friends...and if you want to try it with me...lets do it.

Today: ran 3.5 miles, abs, start an all juice fast

stupid stupid workouts

2011-07-18T12:55:00.000-06:00

What happens when i stop working out?
Yes, I realize I am obsessed. I like to pride myself in a non addictive personality. When given the challenge I quit drinking. Back in my twenties, I quit all drugs, cold turkey...cleaned up, because it was time.
I often stand in the mirror and look at myself, then I look around. Usually there is no one in my bedroom so I take it to the street, in my mind.
( I do understand this may be offensive to some, sorry...it's my blog, get your own and pass judgement on me)
I meet naturally healthy people. It's awesome. Yet there is something that doesn't quite do it for me. They often look strappy and thin, slightly withered and "unhealthy". Too much vegan cheese? I'm not sure. I just can't be happy with it.
I look at people who at some point they have just stopped caring about size. They seem happy. I like it. They have switched from bikini underwear to full bottoms....pants to skorts or better yet the smock. Do their spouses look at them and wonder what happened? Or is it such a slow progression that they don't notice?
I announced yesterday I am going to switch to smocks. Where do I purchase one? Bobby said, "No you won't...you would never allow yourself to wear a smock".
He's right.
I have noticed many men in their early 40's start really working out again. Trying to recapture youth? what do their wives think, "Fine, you run 100 miles I'll eat all these 100 calorie treats and we will see who wins."
hmmm
who wins?
For me things happen quickly.
If I stop caring...I can tell. ( right now I can't get a brush through my hair)
If I stop running...in 3 weeks I can't run 3 miles. ( I blame it on my shoes)
If I stop working out at least 3 times a week, I can't breathe in the first 10 minutes of a workout. ( when this happens I grab a beer and sit down and watch)
Yesterday I started my p90x again.
I did legs and back....ie: squats and pullups.
today I can't get up and down the stairs.
tonight I will run.

take it for what it is.
let me just add one more thing to this nothing post of what is on my mind
If my other half weighed more than 121 pounds, possibly my life would be different.
I can't stand when my underwear are bigger than his.
It makes me want to die.

next post: lack of sex...drive

what I did today 365 days

2011-07-16T18:28:00.000-06:00

Today Kids, Eddie and I went on a hike up at Lions Gulch Homestead, which was so beautiful. It was a 6.2 mile hike we only made it 5.5 before it started storming. It was worth it. The kids helped each other and seemed to enjoy...and the dog has been sleeping since.

When I got home...there was action out the back door!

Apparently after the break down a few days ago of me weeping that my life is in disarray and I can't believe all the half done things around the house, Bobby decided to start the deck.

He wouldn't give me the price of the wood because he knew my asshole would tighten up so tight that the tears would be forced from my eyes just from the pressure...and it would appear to be a break down again.

working on the right side

No, it's not skeletor, its Bobby

Ed enjoying the 3 feet of deck

much nicer...

He's so cute

We ran out of screws before I had enough planks put down to put my table on there

Bobby's back hurt and my feet hurt.

At least it's a start.

I won't break my leg when stepping out the back door when drunk.

physical, lets get physical

2011-07-13T13:57:00.000-06:00

I started my day by covering my tattoos as best as I could manage. Not always easy when its 100 degrees out.

Made it to my paperwork meeting for the new job. I actually had everything filled out and in order so the lady behind the desk was quite pleased, which in turn pleased me. She took my picture twice, and was kind enough to gently tell me I was grimacing in the first...I could have told her that...I apparently grimace in all my pictures. The second was proved to be a bit better. Paperwork was signed, copied, and given back.

"you have 15 minutes to get to your next appointment...the physical and drug test"

great.

There used to be a day when I would worry about it, but now my biggest worry is not being able to pee or better yet, knocking the pee over when I set it on the ground.

The medical assistant was speed and friendly.

"wash your hands, go in the bathroom, pee in cup...DONT FLUSH"

grabbed my cup as I was doing the peepee dance...

"what are you doing?"

I'm dancing to Prince, what do you think I'm doing? I gotta PEE...

he laughed,"Girl, You are pretty funny for a nurse."

what's that supposed to mean?

I did my magic in the bathroom, emerged smiling and handed him the cup..." don't spill it, that's all I got, because I missed the cup for the first 7 seconds"

He did the drug dip....

3 minutes later...

"you passed"

I jumped up and down and clapped my hands together like a three year old

Woopee!!!!!

stopped abruptly and said , of course I did, what do you think I am, a druggie?

He looked at me, "most nurses around here aren't very friendly let alone funny....I only have met about 3 in the entire time I've been here....I sure hope you make it over there."

Yikes

for the next 2 nights I've had the dreams where my teeth are falling out of my head and I can't find my classroom with the occasional flash of having to pee in front of a crowd.

I feel lost and scared. I usually enter this kind of change with odd curiosity...lately I can barely function.

It will be fine.

it's a new job,

not the end of a lifetime

It's a beginning

right?

organizing the vacation pix

2011-07-11T14:09:00.000-06:00

You have to take care of the pictures from vacation quickly, otherwise they just sit there.

I need a better way to do it

Right now it is from camera to iphoto then to flikr then to Picnik then back to flikr

See what I mean?

what do you guys use for editing?

I am so lazy

But...

I did find this little gem from the last day of vacation

on the Pier on Okaloosa Island

7/10/11

home sweet home

2011-07-11T09:38:00.002-06:00

we are home...
the big dog hates us and won't go upstairs
the grass looks like a monsoon hit.
the ceiling is leaking.

its so nice to be home

Don't put the ...

2011-07-07T15:44:00.000-06:00

Pop on there.... I said, don't put the pop on there!... Dagnabit... I saaaaaid don't put the pop on there....
You put the pop on it.
( guy turns around and looks at me...)
That's what we here in the South call ' flat bread'... You've had yerself some flat bread before huh?
All I could do is laugh.
Yup I've had me some flat bread before.
Only a couple more days of vacay.

Xo

Vacation hate

2011-07-02T15:39:00.000-06:00

My kids hate each other
It's so depressing
Just so that you don't assume that I'm actually enjoying myself on vacation
I'd thought I would let you know how much they hate each other
It has been non stop bickering. Today I left to the grocery for 18 minutes to pick up tampons and I came home to a 7 year old gloating on the couch, 14 year old crying on the porch and dad fuming , locked in the bedroom! Geez. I was gone 18 minutes
One kid got bit, one yelled at and the adult packing to leave

Can't say I blame him. It's nothing like being with kids that can't entertain them selves or be friendly. It's plain ol awful.
I decided to tell them they need to figure out the next 7 days quick or I swear I'm taking my bottle of cheap wine, my box of tampons, and I'm leaving . I'm now hiding on the porch with said items and my knitting... Waiting for results.

Pridefest...because STM posted hers

2011-06-29T14:56:00.000-06:00

I told Ilin when we got there it would be everything he loves in the world...

rainbows, balloons, unicorns, and things that fart glitter...

It doesnt get any better than the gays...

ever ever

EVER!!!

We are so lucky...

here are a few of my favs from Denver Pridefest 2011

farewell...vacay time

2011-06-29T14:36:00.000-06:00

See ya later...I'll be on this beach in Destin, Fl...

I need it. We need it.

I will post the oddities as they happen, unless I'm passed out somewhere...because

while I'm at the beach...

I'll be hanging out here:

The Boathouse

and hopefully seeing some friends and...

just plain ol relaxing, as much as one can with kids.

Then when I come back I deal with new roof, new bathroom, loans and and new job.

love you

write ya later

Never give up...or forget

2011-06-22T11:56:00.000-06:00

You see, I have been applying on and off for new jobs. Not because I don't like my job quite the opposite. I am grateful to my co workers and the job itself...I have learned alot!

Point being...I want to learn more, so I have randomly been applying for jobs at other facilities. then I forget about it.

Well, low and behold...last week I had an interview. This time I was determined to not flub the :

" What do you do when you have a problem with a co-worker?" question.

and to answer, without laughing:

..."what is your weak point?"

I practiced in the car. I spoke out loud.

The interview only had a few quiet times and I felt ok, but didn't put much stock into it.

Went home, cracked open a beer, yelled at the kids...you know a normal day...and forgot about it...didn't even tell anyone.

Then a few weeks or so later I got the call:

"We would like to offer you the telemetry job"

Total panic set in. I freaked, I kept quiet, didn't tell Bobby. Called back and asked about the benefits. I asked what the pay was. I did the math and made a check list.

Things happen for a reason.

Would I have rather transferred within my own hospital to the department I want to learn? Yes...but they wouldn't transfer me or give the chance to learn something new.

I had to change, life is change. I vowed to keep my doors open. I start July 25th

What I want to remind people is if you crave change just keep trying. Reformat and try again...and don't forget when you have applied for a job...you may just get it.

Relax, take a few minutes

2011-06-17T15:34:00.000-06:00

Feel the breeze? Smell the salty air....? MMMMMmmmMMmmmm sing...

xoxoxoxox

love love love

Dreamy, dream, dream...and one nightmare

2011-06-15T10:08:00.001-06:00

I had been working on making the deck enjoyable for my summer of relaxing. I came home from the store the other day and here is what I saw:

WTF!?
My worst Nightmare!!!!
He said it needed re done. Grrrrr...

ok so scenario:

The roof needs redone, the bathroom needs redone and now the porch ....needs redone. I cant step out my backdoor without breaking an ankle.

I have moved everything out front. made a sitting are in the front, but its not the same. *pout pout*

As much as I love projects I equally hate them. It puts my mind at unease....which does not allow me to sleep. It makes me curl up and wait.

We are applying for a home equity loan so that we can maybe get all this done at once.

Then let me tell you what else needs done.

The carpet in the basement needs pulled up then the floor scrubbed and sealed

the living room painted and new furniture.

In the mean time...I'm gonna go out and sit and read and not think about it.

We go to Fl in 2 weeks.

I'm gonna think about that...

and about the dream I had last night where Justin Timberlake loved me.

Alot...

In my dream I had hoped it was SNL BeeGees Justin,

but it was this one

I'll Settle.

panda hat olive

2011-06-14T21:00:00.001-06:00

panda hat olive, originally uploaded by v8grrl.

The hat Ilin Blue made

365 days of my life #?

2011-06-11T18:21:00.001-06:00

Ilin Blue's blue hair.

We love shades of Blue.

I love Ilin Blue.

Bad Camera Setting, bummer

2011-06-08T11:09:00.000-06:00

Ok OK It's nothing like going on a mini vacation, taking 200 pictures then realizing the aperture is screwed up. I should have left the lens cap on, then at least I wouldn't have "kind of" seen the pics.

We stayed in a tiny little hotel in Camarillo, when I woke up in the morning this is what was parked next to us.

I wanted to see it do that Hoppy thing but the owners didn't seem like the type to turn on the Hydraulics for some out of state redhead. Also, Bobby said he needed coffee before dealing with gangsters....so I,let it go.

I went to the Thousand Oaks Botanical Walk

Went to Indie West Fest...and saw lots of naturalized forms of the natives

The best part was the Santa Monica Pier, because there was nothing stressful or "things" we needed to do.

I still didn't get to go to Ikea, because Bobby kept saying it was at least 2 hours from where we were...THEN some nice girl said to me, "you know....it's only about 30 minutes away?" I could have killed him, but because I was on vacation and it was his little shindig, I let it slide....One more year without Ikea won't kill me.

Most of the pictures were at a poor setting so nothing came out...that and I looked fat.

So I'll see if I can edit them and show some.

I really must learn to use my camera

Electric Sister First Indie West Band

2011-06-07T17:55:00.002-06:00

All Right...If you guys like ol skool Rock n Roll (ie AC/DC, Black Sabbath, Iggy Pop etc...)

check these guys out.

Great show.

So happy to have met these guys and their band of Hooligans, hope they come to Colorado soon

Let me tell you, these guys lit up the last part of Indie West Fest and were quite the goofballs (in a great way) too.

Check out their Music on Myspace

Electric Sister

Electric Sister, originally uploaded by v8grrl.

there are a few more pics on flikr

back

2011-06-06T13:44:00.000-06:00

I've been in Ventura and around and about in Cali at the Indie West Fest
saw a bunch of bands that were so much fun and really good.
1. Electric Sister
2. the Ettes
3. Redd Kross
4. the growlers (so good)
5.Old Man Markley

I'll post pics and music later.
the vacation...not much of one, but I'll tell you all about it after I mow the lawn

later
m

Crazy Kid

2011-06-02T09:41:00.001-06:00

Look what was on my computer.

I gotta turn the lock back on.

busy busy busy

2011-05-25T13:07:00.000-06:00

I have been getting stuff done!...well, starting stuff, because that is my Forte!
The roof is leaking, straight down to the basement, pretty awesome huh? and the 50 year old carpet smells like 70 cats...or maybe like one of those Hoarding episodes.
I called the insurance, they are giving me the run around. Bobby said he doesn't have time because he is at work,although he apparently has time to email and be home by 320? whatever. So I did it. I called a roofer/hail damage person and they are coming out to assess the damages. Good Job, Myssi. The lady said to leave the carpet it may be included in the cost.
Got the dog to the vet. Vet said he is a bit Girthy. I told her I was pretty sure it was just his winter layer...but now he is on a diet. Poor guy.
found all the parts for my bathroom in our bedroom which is caving in, so now I can call the guy and get that started. A friend and I are going to attempt tiling on our own, since Bobby said no, he will not tile, that is a job for professionals. Hell, I've watched the home improvement channels, those morons slap up tile in a few hours...I'm pretty sure I can do it.
Hung some pictures that have been waiting for 2 years to get hung. Hey, they look nice.
I worked out, new Jillian Michaels DVD
now I have to go get the monster from school...last day ya know. the day hell begins...but I'm gonna roll with it, because I'm gonna be really busy.
Oh yeah...I'm gonna get a new car. I'm selling the Kia Sedona (mini van) for this little cutie:

Ford Fiesta 2011 SES

it gets 40mpg.

and I've heard it can do the Tokyo Drift....although I may need to practice that move a bit.

And...it has light up cup holders and a moon roof.

it makes me happy, because we don't all fit in it.

but I don't care...it was either this or an Escalade (hahaha)

you know what else...? I bet those little tires will only cost about 3$ when it's time to replace them.

Denver saw the Rapture and U2 ....

2011-05-23T07:24:00.001-06:00

was leading the way.

After 3 long nights and very little sleep I headed down to Invesco field with my sister, ,from MI, Auntie, and nieces...

just so you know, our seats were NOT where this video was filmed...but up in the nose bleeds, but well worth it. It also appeared that everyone in Denver was there.

It was a sweet show and sounded great, if you are a U2 fan this is a great video from that night. long but good...scroll down to see where we sat.

We were about here:

this is daylight

Holy cow, it was like I was in an MTV video

( an intimate night with U2...and 70,000 peeps)

I'm not big on huge concerts like this and it really ties my asshole into a knot when I think about how much $$$ he was making off each ticket...but I've heard he gives a shitload back to Amnesty international

so, with that said I actually had a grand time, not a bad seat in the house.

Now Im actually off for a few days,

get to deal with laundry, groceries and the leak in the roof from the Rapture.

Need vs Want with a teen.

2011-05-17T08:48:00.000-06:00

"I need a phone..."

What for, Ilin...you have no friends and you never talk on the phone.

"Well, I would if I had one."

NOOOOOO, what you mean is you would play Angry Birds on the phone. You don't really need a phone.

"Well, Dad said he's getting me one"

Of course he did...BECAUSE!!!!....2 months ago when I asked him if he would get Ilin a phone he said ," I'm not getting him a phone just because you guys have decided to get rid of your land lines"

ok then...

So, I dwelled on it. I decided if Ilin gets the Youth Corp job I would get him a phone for graduating 8th grade and getting his first job. I would add him onto my plan...give him a low end phone and see how he does. I let his father know this was my plan....secret.

Yesterday at dinner he says, "Dad's getting me a DROID" (as he was giving me that angry 14 year old look)

what? what did you just say?

"I saaaaiiiiddddd, Dad is getting me a Droid. He's knows of this plan where its just 25$ a month and he said you guys can split it."

I calmly sat my fork down and readjusted my head from spinning around backwards.

that fucker....

(I didn't say that)

Ilin, what do you need a 250$ phone for?

"so, I can call people"

jeesus christ. This is coming from a kid who won't even leave the house to walk down the street to see a friend....really...to call people....?

No you are not...I SAID, you would be getting a small non fancy phone to prove you are responsible enough to have a phone, then we will talk about it....plus I'm not splitting anything...Actually, if he wants to take the responsibility he can do the entire thing.

"Fine...I'm gonna tell him that"

Arrrrrghghghghg, you lil shit.

he put his dishes in the dishwasher and went to email his dad.

Now, once again, I look like the jackass. damnit.

But I don't have a DROID...why does he get a Droid? He can barely change his underwear without prompting....

Broken angel..listen

2011-05-16T14:25:00.003-06:00

I love Bobby's Guitar...just listen...and relax....

Schools Out (almost) a few hints

2011-05-16T12:53:00.000-06:00

As a kid I couldn't wait until summer.

As an adult, I dread it! They are home, invading my nap time, and the general Yin and Yang of things. One of the main things- they eat you out of the house. Kids, given ample meandering time, will ingest the weight of a small human in snacks and crap they would never usually eat.

There are a few things you can do to help. Lock them up, lock the food up, or shop wisely.

I tend to start least resistant first...ie: shop wisely.

I start shopping for summer stuff about 3 weeks before school is out...STOCKPILE and hide...this is my best advice...unless you are made of money and don't care and if that was the case you would have stopped reading all ready.

I do clip coupons from the Sunday paper. Remember, get the inserts from friends if they don't use them. if you have 3 of the same inserts, that is fine, because you will have extra coups. One of my mottos with coupons though, is when it becomes too much work, forget it.

One of the big no-nos is DON'T BUY STUFF YOU WOULDN'T NORMALLY BUY.

If you don't usually drink Minute Maid, don't just buy it because you have a coupon. Whatever you usually drink is probably cheaper. Save the coupon until it is really on sale, then use it. The coupons posted in the sunday paper will never get you the best deal that week, gotta save them for about 2.5 weeks. You will figure it out.

I start buying snacks 3 weeks out....because man, kids can eat some snacks, and when they bring friends over...they eat more snacks than cookie monster.

Here's an example:

Today at KingSoopers. I was shopping, and when I got to the the bakery section where they put out the day olds and the scratch and dents I found:

Raspberry filled crumpets marked down to 1.48 from 3.50 (bought em)

Quaker oats Brown Sugar Cereal 1.89 from 4.29 (bought 3 boxes)

Rice Krispies and cocao Krispies marked down to 1.89 and I had a coupon -1.00 for 2...(bought 2)

Artesian breads .89 (bought 2)

***with the rice krispies, my kids don't really like the plain, so I mix the box of plain with the cocoa and they eat it, and it works perfect! I take everything out of boxes so they don't know what the hell they are getting. :)

*** the crumpets: I put them 2 at a time into bags or freezer containers and freeze them,the same with muffins. Then when the kids want them I take them out (the night before), or add them to a lunch, frozen, when they are going some where. Perfect for Sleepovers...I can take the whole bunch out the night before.

I also buy the day old specialty bread and freeze it for when we cook out we can make grilled bruschetta.

But the definite key with this is don't buy anything over the price you would normally spend!

Today I also bought a bunch of things that were buy 10 get 5$ off. It was stuff like pasta...bought bags of shells for pasta salad this summer.

granola bars....bought about 6 boxes for when they go riding or we go in the car.

(AGAIN)...I take stuff out of the boxes and put it into the cabinet and regulate how much I put out, because if you put 20 bars out...they will eat 20 bars. I put 10 out then put the rest in the hidden pantry in the garage where it is NOT really hidden but they are too lazy to go out there to get it.

I make sure I always have things they can make easily alone.

We make bean and cheese burritos 10 at a time and freeze them. They can run the microwave all alone so I don't have to worry. These Bean and Cheese burritos are easy and for the cost of tortillas, beans, and cheeze you can get 10-12 for the price of 3 pre-made frozens. Plus the kids can help ya put them together.

I buy Ramen. Not healthy, but my kids love it.

Fruit...and when the fruit starts to go south, throw it in the freezer, then the kids can use it to make smoothies in the summer. They can run the blender alone too.

Yogurt. I buy the cases of 12...I freeze some, the kids like it semi frozen and it lasts longer.

Cake Mix...you can get the boxed stuff for .89 when its on sale. I always have 3-4 boxes so I can make cupcakes. easy!

Cream cheese, for the cupcake frosting...when it's on sale for .99 i buy 4-5 of them and freeze it. Lasts forever and its perfect for frosting. Not so good for spreading but any baking its great for after frozen.

Otter Pops..when they go on sale for 40 for 1.99 I buy 3-4 of them and they are a staple for summer kids.

we always have fresh fruit and veggies...

I cut up radishes, carrots, melon, etc and have them in separate containers in the fridge and the kids will eat those.

Remember, if they have to cut or prepare, they are less likely to eat it....so have it ready.

Variety is the key.

So good luck...

enjoy the summer.

Lets Kiss This Week....adios

2011-05-13T11:52:00.000-06:00

i would pay to be kissed like that...

sad, but true...enjoy the beauty,words and love

have a great weekend

RE upholstery: update of a semi mess

2011-05-11T12:00:00.001-06:00

Well, Like I said, "It's not gonna reupholster itself, no matter how long I stand there looking at it."

Arms are on....and all I could thing was, "Jeessus, this basement smells like the ass end of a garbage truck toting used litter boxes."

Pinning everything together to see if it is even going to start to fit together....hmmm?

(thank goodness I saved all the pieces)

Am I going to have to "ease" this in? How hard and tortuous is that going to be?

This is too much.

Then I step back.....

Holy macaroni!

Kind of a busy pattern...gonna have to make a throw pillow to break that business up!

I have not started even looking at pulling it tight and stapling. That is scaring me just typing it.

Bobby said, "Are we going to be able to sit in it when it's done...or is it just for looking?"

How would I know? I am assuming we will sit in it....

But I have been wrong before.

Well, I am happy it looks like I am at least attempting to do it. Remember it still has legs that go on it and...well, honestly I still have a looooong way to go.

Today

2011-05-08T12:00:00.000-06:00

is not one of my favorite days.

exhausted

2011-05-06T12:58:00.000-06:00

still
27 days of bleeding...tell me any normal person could withstand the torment. I don't mind blood, its the time it takes to take care of it.
The Dr. even said, "wow, has it been like this the entire time?"
A battery of test and no answers. Lab today, pelvic ultra sounds on Tuesday....
they worst part is you just have to keep going on.

I'm cranky and trying to hide it is getting harder.
I'm gardening a lil bit at a time. 2 pots here, a few more additions to my beer bottle garden bed, back and forth and everything still looks so incomplete.

I wish I had a better eye for that stuff.
im gonna nap...
then pretend I didn't for when everyone comes home.

write ya later

White is not the new Black...or Brown

2011-05-04T08:26:00.001-06:00

I feel like this, take it for whatever you think.

Looks cozy huh?

I woke up early after a night of crazy dreams and thoughts.

I have been watching Sons Of Anarchy on netflix and it gives me stress.

Seems odd when I think of it, considering I did my punk rock years growing up around skinheads, bikers and many fist fights.

That must be the only reason I can't handle even watching them on TV anymore. Because I know when that fist hits the jaw, people don't just fall over, they see dancing bears on unicycles and sometimes don't rise very quickly.

Seeing all the Aryan Nation stuff on the show reminds of my college days in Gainesville.

Something many people would not even fathom.

In Fl. the Aryan Nation is quite a recruiting team. You know, the Army, Airforce, Marines, then the Young Nationals.

Nice white shirts, suspenders, shiny boots and that great 9th grade education.

(they like to keep the lower end dumb)

Often mistaken for Mormons or boyscouts.

I was never afraid, although maybe I should have been.

They ran in my circle of people, I knew them, drank beer with them, went to shows with them...they seemed fine to me...

until they started spouting off their pea brained ideas. But if it was just to see a Bad Brains show, they were the ones to go with.

People moved out of the way, you always got front and center, and they actually treated the girls with respect.

They don't always come looking like this:

pretty easy to see and avoid...

because sometimes they look like this:

link to article

and the one above usually has a family attached to it.

An often normal looking family unless you see the dad in his swimtrunks and can see the markings.

So, what I'm saying is...back to the point.

Sons of Anarchy gives me nightmares, because I remember living around it.

Maybe its what shaped my "be open to all"

atitude now.

Maybe this is also why I don't think an eye for an eye is the right thing in all events.

People have the right to their own ideas and beliefs in America....

From Left to Right, gay to straight, white to black, and yellow to brown.

That is why people come here.

we can't just live in fear of the person sitting next to us on the plane...

There are different beliefs all around us, in each and every state and country.

I'm not saying : if you can't beat them join them....

I'm saying :

Be the change you want to see.

Mingle, discuss intelligently, listen with open ears, and do the right thing.

Everyone deserves an opinion and a voice, even if it is stupid...(you know what I mean)

and don't watch Son's of Anarchy before bed

write ya later

Personal, gross, and sad....all in one post

2011-05-03T09:50:00.000-06:00

I'm just going to say it. It's been on my mind for about 3 weeks now and since this is my blog I can post it no matter who grosses out or whatever.

I have been bleeding for 3 weeks straight now.

Perimenopause?

I don't know...don't know at all. Short of being an RN and knowing that I usually only have a 5 day period it has made me extremely depressed, a wee bit frightened, and on top of that irritated.

As a woman, our lives seem to revolve around bleeding,childbearing, bleeding and then death. No happy inbetween. Now what do I have to look forward too? More facial hair, dried up cooch, and crumbling bones. It came to my realization yesterday that, "what is the point?"

what is the point of working out, of caring...of pretty much anything right now. So,I can look good in my casket?

I have run out of period panties and they have ALL become period panties.

pretty soon I may just need a period diaper.

I realize that most of you who read this are way too young to even understand the fear and anger that this is coming with...which is really strange. I never thought I would say that considering I don't plan on having any more kids.

Maybe I'm mostly nervous about something being wrong.

Maybe it is the inability to really tell anyone because our periods are so taboo.

I am going to go lay down, because I have been dizzy and tired...and I have to work.

no biggie...

none at all

and yes, I made a dr. appointment so no need for the lecture

I may be dramatic, but I'm not an idiot.

upholstery...try

2011-05-03T09:14:00.000-06:00

I figured if this guy (who I Loooove)

can get this guy (who i didn't love)

I could attempt to conquer that chair I have been trying to reupholster.

see this post

That ugly stained purple chair.

I ripped it all apart, I bought the material, laid it out, then moved it to the basement to think about it....for a loooooong time.

Yesterday I started again.

I'm slow mover...

slow and steady.

grocery store shananigans

2011-04-27T14:32:00.000-06:00

So, I have a coupon for General Mills cereal.

I reach down to get the box, pull it out, and they ALL come tumbling out. like they were trying to make a great escape.

grrrrrrrrrrrr. I throw my box into the cart, grumble, growl, cuss under my breath and start re-stacking them like some lone stock boy.

I see some wheels out of the corner of my eye and hear this lady say towards me in a quiet voice, "If that was me, I would just leave them."

I started laughing...looked up and said,

"I might have done that if you hadn't been coming down the aisle."

hahaha

She said," I will gladly glance the other way".

Now that is a way to help a sister out, wouldn't you agree?

ps I picked them up...just so you know.

Conversation with teen son

2011-04-25T19:08:00.000-06:00

In kid's room, pilfering with stuff, while he is looking at Pokemon cards...

find a cute lil drawing in a ziplock bag that says, "defense spork"

"hahaha, that's funny, who is this from?"

A girl in Orchestra...

"Do you like her?"

no, not really

"uhhhhh, do you just not like her? or do you not like ....girls ...girls in general"

pause,,,,

"I mean, I don't care, you know me, I just find it easier to adjust my conversation if I know if the conversation is a mute point or not"

I look over, he's laughing quietly....

yeah, Mom, I like girls...just not any at my school.

as I walk out of the room I say,

"cool, whatever, I don't care, if you decide you like boys let me know...just for conversation sake."

He's chuckling, sure mom, will do.

good...

now take the garbage out.

Yarnnnny

2011-04-23T14:21:00.000-06:00

I purchased some ICE yarn from Ebay. 2.09 a skein, and it's like the one below but in black.

I got a LOT for 8.99$ then 6$ shipping, I should have bought more, but wasn't sure.

I want to make this

I know, I know....where will I wear such a thing.

But I love it and him and all things Old Skool Punk Rock.

Or maybe I can make this:

awwwww

precious lil stinker.