Learning a New Life

Life

It goes on

I fought, I gave up, I begged for help, I rethought 

and I'll fight again

He refuses to sign the divorce papers...

to let me go.

I can do nothing....

except to continue to smile, pretend it's ok, not say anything and wait.....

along with paying the lawyer bills.

I have been more than generous.

I don't want child support, take half of everything....keep the house (500K)....

just let me go

he refuses....

tonight....I had a beer and thought....

I'm losing half of everything regardless.   

which I knew.

but now that it has been over a year and he still won't allow me to move on...........

I'm gonna fight.

We can go to court.

he can take half my shit

even though he has never saved a dollar on his own.

but I am going to ask the house get sold....

child support

and no spousal support

fuck him

I'm over being taken advantage of.

I'm tired of every man who crosses my path taking me for an idiot because I love so hard

I'm perfectly capable of caring for myself, my kids and my dog. 

you know what.....?    

I'll apparently take care of you too

I don't need all this stuff.

If I lose everything I have 

Ill still be me

take it or leave it.

Tonight I was put in my place once again by a man.

It's not a new thing.

Corrected in the fact that I can't control things.....

which I know.

I should settle more and maybe dream less at my age.

This is life.

work, eat, sleep and repeat and if you are lucky you do something fun once or twice a year.

Just how it is....

this is how you live until you die

if this is how it is

there is no reason for me to stress about divorce, 

loss of pensions,

 and having to pay 900$ a month in alimony.  

It's just the way it is

move on.  

it's all gonna be ok.

we are all just waiting and working for the end.

xo

m