life is funny

 life is really quite hysterical.  just going along and then Boom you have to take care of shit.

real shit, shit you don't want to do.

No one to really discuss it with so I just quietly schedule the appointments and wait for the next request.

The costs for these appointments are exorbitant.

Every time I go to the women's clinic it is considered a specialist.

Do men have to do this with their wieners( I before E, except after C)?

Every issue is a specialist?  I highly doubt it because they can talk to their male primary care and get everything taken care of from there.

For me, and I do realize I am not the only one, I have to go to a specialist for every damn body part.

Last month my foot, which wasn't covered, so I paid out of pocket cash for an appointment and an MRI.

Now, boobs....appointment and MRI (specialist)

Next request was uterus ( start with ultra sound and biopsy ) again a specialist.

Would it be cheaper to just get the boobs removed?

What makes boobs a specialty? 80$ every visit.  because it isnt primary care, but it is primary care. We are  required to have them and bottom halves checked every year.  Not my fault my PCP doesn't do that.

Pretty sure they can check a prostate at the PCP office and it isn't "special".

I jokingly said last month, " what I wouldn't do for a flat chest. 

Universe, this isn't what I meant.

As I plod quietly through these appointments, scheduling when I should be at work. I know it is what it is.

I just don't really care for it.

I accept it and my biggest request is that my feet get fixed so that I can begin living again, which would take a way some of the stress.

My other request is to feel whole again.

Which I think is a reasonable request and I think I can make it happen.

calm down

xo,

m

Boobs and Feet, Boobs and Feet

 

Boobs and feet ....weird topic but one occupying my mind lately.

10 years ago this month I had my right breast cleared of breast cancer via surgery.

Just one boob...no biggie...Was told I should take Chemo, but with some counseling we decided maybe it wasn't the best for me right then.  I had small kids and needed to work full time...I didn't have the time to be sick or tired, I had enough of that with my life in general back then. hahahaha

The statement from my then Oncologist , who has since retired, 

"Its not if...it's when ...10 years, most likely"

Those damn old man doctors, full of non documentable information.

Shit the Journal of American Medicine could never prove.

They know...

So, this morning a nice MRI for my foot which has been the bain of my extra curricular life for about 2 years now and getting progressively worse.  

Luckily, as I lie there in the MRI tube listening to the bings and bongs and the occasional tech giving me the countdown of time 

"good job, Melissa , we have about 3 more sets of 7 minute picture rounds"

why didn't he just say we have 21 minutes left? Does the way he stated it sound easier?

maybe.

The MRI didn't bother me. They gave me headphones and I listened to Jason Isbell and thought about warm weather and my list of chores I needed to complete....

and the fact I had another telehealth call at 11 that I better be done with.

We were done in time and the results were in my chart before I got home.

pretty pretty good

Small tear on some Achilles Ligament and something else which I really should know because I'm a nurse,

but I don't.

but I do know it was nothing horrible and I'm betting for the cash money the Sports Medicine guy is charging , it will be fixed with a boot and rest for 8 weeks

and it's not plantar fasciitis...which is good.

that's hard to fix , really hard.

Made it home in time for my telehealth video. 

She started with the good news, not that any is really bad

No BRCa gene, which means I am clear from that, and so is Olive and Ilin.

But then.... outta no where she says

" I'm going to schedule for a breast MRI and make sure you get your yearly mammogram. You will be doing every other one each 6 months ongoing from here on out. Your cancer risk is 37.3% which puts you in the high risk category.  So once we get those first rounds done we will schedule from the findings and anything we find we should be able to treat quickly, because thats the key with this type of history"

ok, lady.  i liked you, now I'm a little stressed and wish I was having a beer while doing this telehealth.

" let's make sure you get the ultra sound of your uterus as discussed last month when you were here.

Insurance should have no problems covering these because of the risk involved .....and when you come in we can discuss a referral for double masectomy; when you are ready"

what?

wait a minute, 

how did we go from no gene to boob removal?

yeah, no.  I'm not ready...i'm doing the math in my head and I still have 72% chance nothing will happen.

Are these things they just have to slide in there in the conversation? or does she know more than I do 

probably the latter even though I am a well educated RN, I kinda didn't do too well in the women's health part of school or clinicals.

Any way.  one thing at a time...  feet first... I want to be able to have some fun.

then boobs.  

I guess 

if anyone has any insight let me know.

They are just boobs...

but honestly i can't imagine using my PTO for boobs in stead of beach vacation.

xo, 

m

the first time of diagnosis

for your reading pleasure