RX: Watch Chickens and Sit

 

Per my therapist, 

I am to make less lists and do a bit more relaxing, chicken watching and stretching. To the average person this would be an easy task, but to me ..... it is close to despairingly impossible. It allows me much,

too much, time to think about life. This opens another door. Why am i not wanting to think about life? 
What the hell is wrong with me that I cannot let go, relax and contemplate the beauty of being above ground and all the great things I have experienced and have yet to experience? 
Why does my mind want to dwell in the past and torture me with the thoughts of the things I could have done differently?  
Could I have saved them?  
Could I have saved Sissy? 
Would she still be here to help me navigate these crazy days my mind has been happening?   
Therapist says no.  
What happened happened and it wasn't because of me ( which I know) and I could not have changed the path she had chosen........
It is time to move forward and stop thinking about could have beens and start thinking about what can be, and enjoy it a little bit.

On that note...

Why do many men over the age of 50 pick women half their age +7 years, give or take?

This came up on my news today.  What is the science behind it? There must be a study?

My homework for the week will be to see if there is actually a study.

It will keep me from making a lists.

I am grateful for the new amazing job that I landed.  I really do believe things happen when they are supposed to and this new nursing job has been a career saver for me.  To be able to care for people, in their homes, without being micro managed, having a great team, and the care I'm giving is not "critical" home care.  Home infusion for chronically ill, administering medications like IgG for chron's and ulcerative colitis , and biologics for people with MS and scleroderma.

The people are thankful, I am thankful and the schedule is great.

well I am going to go do a bit of sewing and THINK about going to Yoga .

write ya later

m

It's just fucking tacos

     Everyday seems to become more of a WTF moment in life. Ya know, ya try to get your meditation in, workout, be kind, then someone forgets your goddamn tacos on Taco Tuesday.

No shit....it can really mess a family up.

We ventured out to our favorite nameless taco joint in our town for the Taco Tuesday 1$ tacos. Just to be clear, we go all the time, not just for cheap tacos.

We made the mistake of heading in a little later than usual so it was the big rush.

We waited the standard 45 minutes to sit....it's fine, pretty normal around here. Sat down, ordered drinks and chips and salsa.  So far so good. Placed our order, then proceeded to watch multiple tables get their food and leave while we still sat there. Being a former waitress, I should have asked earlier, but being a female who never blames anyone else kept me from asking, "Where's my TACOs???"

1.5 hours went by for 6 tacos and the waitress finally came by to see how everything was.  

I just looked right at her and said " what's going on....it's been almost 2 hours for 6 tacos" 

She about died.  She thought we had all ready eaten and we were just taking up space.  At that point I felt bad...  this is what waitressing nightmares are made of.  ( if you ever waited tables you know what I'm talking about).  She apologized and went to see what had happened ...she came back mortified and said it was her fault (brave lil mother fucker), she forgot to out the order in.

For the record.... I did not freak out..... I did the even worse thing.  

I calmly said..." It's ok, it's cool, can we have the check for our 3 beers , chips and salsa, and soda? I have to get up in 5 hours for work "  She went, came back and said the owner was buying us everything and gave us comp tickets for next visit.   This is always a nice gesture, but not necessary.  The other half sat silently across the table.  I made the decision to leave....I could not sit there 30 minutes more to wait for 6 tacos.

Sad part is.....it was 9pm.  no more Taco Tuesday open in our little town after 830. I knew I had opened a can of worms with my decision. 

As we walked out the silent other half turned into a 2 year old, break down city....which I understand, but grown men should not act as such. "Fine , I guess I won't eat tonight....I don't want to cook so I guess, just fine. "

Then decided to write a scathing review of our favorite restaruant and post it.  

I guess this story is 2 or 3 fold. 

1. shit happens.  Was I a bit peeved? yes, but mistakes happen, we are all human and it was just fucking tacos.  I just didn't want to sit anymore....I have been up since 4 am, I'm tired. 

2. More often than not I start seeing assholeyness in people that I really wish I didn't. I don't care for childish, footstomping behavior from grown men.  It's like screaming when they see a spider.  It just isn't working for me anymore.

3. It's just fucking tacos.

4 unrelated: Today I realized when someone said, " there is nothing like disrobing a man in a suit to have good sex".  hmmmm  Like James Bond style? I have never in my life had sex with a man who wears a suit.  I have never even been with a man who wears a nice suit, let alone take one off of someone. 

I'll just dwell on that for a while. Remember , it's just fucking tacos....shit happens , and if you are a man....just deal with the spider, please.

write you later,

m

Seal and Heidi. another one bites the dust

I'm just gonna sit back and wait for the bigger story on this one.

Here's the things we do know…

 together 7 years, long for Hollywood, not very long in real life

He just finished an album: always the kiss of death

I read somewhere he has a Hot temper.

Hmmmmmm.  This one is gonna be ugly

although it appears oh so  pretty on the outside.

How to effectively be passive aggressive

I would like to take a few minutes to teach my friends and foe a few superbly effective ways to be passive aggressive around the house, as I learned from my husband.

These are fairly easy things which anyone can accomplish ,with a long term game plan, and a few quick stealth moves.  

First you must set the scene.  

This is easily done early in the relationship, but yet, not too early , because the other party could be smart, which would lead to no effect on the entire plan.  

After the so called "honeymoon period" , but before the "I don't give a rat's ass period", you must set the mood.  During the first few arguments you must, at some point state, " you are a nag" or " I never said you have to do that"…and then make sure you throw in, " you are crazy, you know that?" 

This first step is imperative to the end results.  If you fail to set these tones, your plan will never work.

After step one has been completed you may start your plan immediately, or wait 20 years, either way it should be just as effective.

Here's what you do.  I am going to give you a few base ideas and once you feel confidant in these you should be able to make your own plans to fit your daily needs and life.  any thing marekd ***gravy is extra bonus passive aggressive points.

1.  When stopping by the store on the way home from work, in a snow storm,only pick up cream for your coffee and or lunch meat for your lunch, even though you picked up the milk carton this morning and know its empty, and the kids will have no milk for breakfast….then state…."oh, I thought we just needed cream. " (or fill in blank with your need only)

2.  When significant other has been doing laundry for the entire weekend and shows signs of melting into the floor of the laundry room….don't offer to help….BUT …make sure when the party is not looking you pull out only your clothes and put them away, leaving only piles of kids clothes and your significant other's clothing…then when they complain and state how much they hate folding laundry, you can effectively say, " why do you guys have so much laundry? I never have laundry like that."  This makes them realize they aren't having to fold your clothing, so there will be no complaining to you.

3.  After dinner, make sure you quickly get your dishes into the dishwasher and only put away the few items you used.  Like salt and pepper…so you are actually helping, but not helping the household.  ***gravy, don't wipe the counters, ever…. unless you drip a spot of coffee, then only wipe that one spot, but don't wipe further than that spot.  this shows how ill kept the house may be and you have done your part.

4.  Make sure any item of great joy to you is purchased in unmarked cash with no paper trail.  This is effective when the other party states they never get anything nice….then you can say, " yeah, me either…" And they can never show it on paper.  The nice stuff you have just appears.  

5.  never take coinciding days off.  This allows for plenty of free time to enjoy your unmarked free things without stress…When you do take a day off, wait til the last minute to mark it on the calendar.  That way, there will be no interference due to short notice.  Any extra vacation days should be secretly taken for yourself.  This allows for not having to take extra days with the family or doing any outside family needs such as; kid's Dr. appointments, a short 3 day vacation, a fun day off….

***gravy,  your days are your days.   you can claim you just don't have any extra vacation days. (Always make sure to save a few secret days in case best friend wants to go on Fri-Mon quick trip to Vegas, then plead you never said you had no more vacation days,and put out ,"you are crazy" card from tone set in beginning of plan.

6.  Wear your shittiest outfits when going out….my favorite I've seen lately:  Hoody, ripped jeans leather jacket over hoody and Trashy baseball hat.  Wear this even when its date night.   State you have no nice clothes, or "who the hell cares"….that way, you may not get asked again, which leaves you more time to yourself.

***gravy, pull out your best duds when you know they are unable to go out…but you have to "make that appearance"…. and state, "I have to go, we were invited months ago, I wish you weren't working"

7.  Stop doing any housework, except for things you secretly enjoy doing, like shoveling….then when asked, state" Jeesus, I do all the Shoveling (or snow blowing)"

These few minor steps should get you started.  

Enjoy your end results.  

Feel free to leave any extras in the comments.

****gravy

xo,

m

(written tongue in cheek, seriously)

White is not the new Black...or Brown

I feel like this, take it for whatever you think.

Looks cozy huh?

I woke up early after a night of crazy dreams and thoughts.

I have been watching Sons Of Anarchy on netflix and it gives me stress.

Seems odd when I think of it, considering I did my punk rock years growing up around skinheads, bikers and many fist fights.

That must be the only reason I can't handle even watching them on TV anymore.  Because I know when that fist hits the jaw, people don't just fall over, they see dancing bears on unicycles and sometimes don't rise very quickly.

Seeing all the Aryan Nation stuff on the show reminds of my college days in Gainesville.

Something many people would not even fathom.

In Fl. the Aryan Nation is quite a recruiting team.  You know, the Army, Airforce, Marines, then the Young Nationals.  

Nice white shirts, suspenders, shiny boots and that great 9th grade education.

(they like to keep the lower end dumb)

Often mistaken for Mormons or boyscouts.

I was never afraid, although maybe I should have been.

They ran in my circle of people, I knew them, drank beer with them, went to shows with them...they seemed fine to me...

until they started spouting off their pea brained ideas.  But if it was just to see a Bad Brains show, they were the ones to go with.

People moved out of the way, you always got front and center, and they actually treated the girls with respect.

They don't always come looking like this:

pretty easy to see and avoid...

because sometimes they look like this:

link to article

and the one above usually has a family attached to it.

An often normal looking family unless you see the dad in his swimtrunks and can see the markings.

So, what I'm saying is...back to the point.

Sons of Anarchy gives me nightmares, because I remember living around it.

Maybe its what shaped my "be open to all"

atitude now.

Maybe this is also why I don't think an eye for an eye is the right thing in all events.

People have the right to their own ideas and beliefs in America....

From Left to Right, gay to straight, white to black, and yellow to brown.

That is why people come here.

we can't just live in fear of the person sitting next to us on the plane...

There are different beliefs all around us, in each and every state and country.

I'm not saying : if you can't beat them join them....

I'm saying :

Be the change you want to see.

Mingle, discuss intelligently, listen with open ears, and do the right thing.

Everyone deserves an opinion and a voice, even if it is stupid...(you know what I mean)

and don't watch Son's of Anarchy before bed

 write ya later

m

Plain and simple...Man's Work

I believe there are a few things that should just unconditionally be Man's Work.  I have a laundry list (no pun intended ) of things I just can't stand doing, and NOT because I can't do it, but because, they just should...period, they should!

Here's my short list:

Emissions testing for car...I hate anything you have to pull up in a certain spot and stop, then get out of your safety zone.

Liquor store...no matter how nice it is, it's still ghetto and woman should not be wandering up and down the Jack Daniel's row alone. Nobody cares you are looking for a good 18$ bottle of wine, you still look like a cheap whore to the men buying 40's.

Cleaning the Gutters...I really don't need to say anything here.

Xmas lights ...fall into gutter category....roof top/ladder...Plus, I'm smart, so when I have to hang the Xmas lights (which I shouldn't be doing) I clean the gutters;  I'm a woman and I can multi-task ~snap~

Car Maintenance...here is what happens, you go for an oil change which should be 25$, like the coupon says, and you come home with a new transmission, you get the 5th degree from the man, which sounds like this,

"WTF?  Just tell them you want an Effin Oil Change, my Effin God , you can't do anything right!...what the Hell???, I should have done it myself!"     

uhhhhh  exactly, it's man's work....you should have done it !

( at least we have a new tranny)

There are many other things I'm sure we could come up with...

Oh here's one:

Initiate sex once in a while you lazy bastards, I have needs too. so step it up.

You may have been in your prime at 18-21, but I'm in my prime now.

So unless we plan on purchasing one of those 18-21 year old guys at the Oil Change Place...you better figure it out.

With that said:

Today, I went and got the emissions done, liquor store, and I've all ready hung the Xmas lights and cleaned the gutters.

Now I have to go to Home Depot and buy extension cords.

WTF? 

hmmm

and I'm sure I'll still have to cook dinner.

here's that water law for rain collecting...

http://water.state.co.us/pubs/pdf/RainWaterBills.pdf


"Colorado water law declares that the state of Colorado claims the right to all moisture in the atmosphere that falls within its borders and that “said moisture is declared to be the property of the people of this state, dedicated to their use pursuant” to the Colorado constitution. According to the constitution, water must be appropriated according to priority of appropriation. As a result, in much of the state, it is illegal to divert rainwater falling on your property expressly for a certain use unless you have a very old water right or during occasional periods when there is a surplus of water in the river system. This is especially true in the urban, suburban, and rural areas along the Front Range. This system of water allocation plays an important role in protecting the owners of senior water rights that are entitled to appropriate the full amount of their decreed water right, particularly when there is not enough to satisfy them and parties whose water right is junior to them."

Feelin it, baby

I'm turning 40.
Next week.
I announced to Synda, the other night, that I am now closer to 50 than 20. 50...did you hear me? 50! I don't want to say F.U. 50, but that is exactly what I am feeling. All sorts of feelings I'm having.
Last night, as I said a tearful goodbye to Grissom, and my 30's, I started thinking about my age. I have started to look more at older men than younger men and it's starting to get to me. I realized this last night when I thought to myself what I could do to Grissom. He is so very sexy. Then I stopped myself and said, "He's old."
I realized it wasn't his looks I was pining after, it was his charisma and intelligence, which is exactly what you don't find in young men...or many men.
I looked over at Booby and said, "That Grissom is pretty good looking."
He said, " He's old".
yeah, he's old...but this is what women do. They start looking at older men. Greying, smart,handsome, older men... which, for a fleeting minute, gave me a glimmer of hope.
Older men.
mmmmmm
**just for a minute**
because here is what Booby says...
"Yep, woman start noticing the older men and us older men start looking at the woman who are about 25 years younger...ones to push our wheel chairs when we are older."
Works out perfect huh?
"So, you should be looking at 65-70 year old men at the low end."
*snicker, snicker*

F.U. 40, 50, and above.
My friends say, "you don't seem 40"
yet today....
I feel it.

xoxxo,
40 and feeling it
m

ps...if you watched the show last night...we can also point out that the fabulously sexy older Grissom wandered through the forest to the arms of his 30 y.o. lover.
F.U Grissom