Hunk a Hunk of Burning Love

Burnin Up

It's happening....

I'm guessing this is the start of old age. Every day is like a damn science experience, and it's quite comical. I have always looked forward to aging, like a badge of honor. I guess, even with all my knowledge, I didn't realize it would come as a burning badge of fiery hot glory.

It's probable what I deserve.

I can officially say I'm Hotsy Totsy, for real.

Ya know, we don't talk about it very much and I do believe it's something that is hard to comprehend until you are experiencing it. All the years I shook my head at my mom, with her head in the freezer, or vacuuming like a mad woman in her bra and underwear...

I just never knew.

I apologize, Mom.

Yesterday, I noticed K in a sweatshirt and a hat, inside .

I rolled my eyes, really really rolled my eyes.

He was kind enough to not mention it,

or even say a word for that matter, 

but it was obvious that he was feeling as if he was camping in the frozen tundra with his full Patagonia gear in place.

I made a stealth trek over to my sacred wall art, 

aka "the thermostat"

and oopsie

62 inside.... and it was 32 outside

felt pretty good to me?

 I'm not a sadist, so I turned it up to 65.

I'm not only hot in my old age, but apparently getting soft too. 

A friend at work said, 

"why in the hell would they do this to us? 

Chin hairs, gaining weight, mood swings, hot-flashes,

 ....Christ, like getting old isn't hard enough?"

I looked her right in the eye and said,

"It's so we are no longer fuckable/mating material. 

It's time for us to become invisible Sages and let the young does take over" .

It is the most comical part of life as a woman. 

I am finally to a point where I have time, money and peace...

but with it came chin hair and 45 second.... 20 times a day, boiling points. 

I mean, maybe it's so when I arrive in hell I'll be fully prepared?

Whatever the case ...

I'm surviving

It's my bday weekend 

and I'm gonna be 

Hot as Hell

( all the way around)

v8grrl

write ya later,

m

Day 210: Selfies My Way

Day 210

green smoothie wreck

7/29/19

Green Smoothie: Spinach, (blah), green apple, strawberry, put butter, banana, whey protein powder, water....blend, chia seeds.

meal complete, sans chewing...

perfect for my nonchalant, sick of chewing attitude.

Sometimes I wish I had someone to take nice candid shots of me...ya know, just so when I'm missing they will find me...

If you were to look on B's social media or phone, or picture history you will find no mention (in pictures) of me.  There are many many pictures of Olive, of himself...his car, his guitars, amps....motorcycles....dog....

not me.

I asked him about this and he said his social media is for work.

Hmmm...ok. are tacos work?

What I believe to be true is that I am slightly under par according to him.

so we will leave it at that.

In return I take many of my own happy selfies...

the best being the "I don't care after workout/ run" selfies

 and leg and feet selfies ( because they are always cute).

They go lots and lots of places.

I have even contemplated a picture book of all the travels and countries I have photoed my feet.

not for anyone...just me....dont worry I won't be gifting those.

candid photos are a luxury because you have to have someone who sees something and who has the care to take a picture.

I take a ton of pictures and my favorites are the ones I take of my friends just being.

They hate it until I send them later.  

I often see them used as profile pics and such which makes me happy.

I'm careful to never post an unflattering picture because I feel that is a bit of a bummer and happens quite often when I'm looking at random shots on media.

capturing people in their form is a beautiful loving thing.

here are a few that make me smile.

 Kris ....old lady cartwheels....yes she was drinking

we call her Betty, and she is always smiling and gives the best hugs.

Photo ops....It wasn't my op, but I took advantage

This kid was funny...dog dish reinvented....

the Litas...I took this, they use it all the time...I'm not in it

my sweet work wife, Heather....ready for radiation

Pictures ....

Don't hate me for snapping so many, If I love you.....

I have pictures.

snap ya later,

m

Milf it up , Nana

weird shit has been happening.

weird weird shit.

is it some sort of mystical moon business?

As much as I wish I could go into full detail or use metaphors, similes , or even hyperbole....I can't.

Because there is something in the air I will bring up something in which I wrote my senior practicum on for my recent degree.

And maybe I can just roll some of my dry humor into my observation and research.

I'm not sure how it came up today in work....but I said,

"Oh, I wrote a paper on STDs in assisted living homes and how people are just ignoring the fact that seniors are fucking" 

Well of course seniors are fucking, why not?

just because I am not....why can't they?  It is highly prevalent within these communities, even within the Alzheimer's locked units.  

So, the more I thought about it, the more I started laughing on the inside.

I announced, " holy hell, I only have 30 more years and maybe I'll be getting laid....sheesh....maybe I can move in early?"

All my work friends looked at me....paused and busted out laughing.

me...in 35 years....

you betcha

Go....M

seniors...

god bless them,

 their will to fuck, 

and their lack of condom use.

I wonder if Medicare covers STDs after 70?

on a younger note

I made it through the hazy 90s with no STDs, no HIV (even living in Atlanta), and no extra kids.

A friend texted me the other day and said he just found out he has a 26 year old daughter.

I was beside myself with joy.

I'm an Auntie (kind of) 

He appears to be ok with the entire thing.

I wondered where I was during this time period? 

He was my best friend...

I would have never let that happen...

unless I was all hazy 90s too.

must have been

I'm excited for him

we revisited our younger year pact....

The original was if we weren't married at 40 ( because that was so old) we would marry each other.

He texted and said....

well, if we are alone at 60...can we get together and travel and just be together.

I might have to reconsider....now that he has a child and all 

hahahahaha

also.... at 60 I will still have 20 years before I hit old folk home sexy service availability....

so, yeah, I think I can buy into the pact...

we can travel and just lay in the bed and talk.

and eat crumpets.

 us...

I seriously need help

or sex....before 80....

or maybe 

just some good 

quality 

alone time

with crumpets and my hand.

me....and I may have crumpets....

or something

remember....when you are feeling down

80 year olds 

meow...

write ya later,

m

drunkard and braless

Lord, I drank way too much yesterday. 

Way. Toooooo. Much

It's ok, it gave me a much needed break from reality and thinking about things.

 I put on a frumpy dress, slapped on some sunscreen and mascara, and we headed to the Cherry Creek Arts Festival.

My downfall was the liquor samples.

they were tasty, especially in the 100 degree weather. 

You know what was nice?   

Over the past few weeks I have been trying to get my head back together, in the way of not thinking about what others may view me as.

I have been working out and looking the way I want to look for me.

hell, Today I am braless.  0 fucks given. 

well, I am braless mostly because I feel too crappy hungover to put on a bra. But it is still liberating.

This week my schedule is full. Work my 4 10's. I have my last 12 hour clinical. And I need to write a senior outcomes paper.  Within this week I also hope to work out twice and attempt to get some chores done.   I got this. 

I guess I will wash my bras too because I don't think my fear factor is to the level of going braless to work, plus it is probably highly inappropriate.

Im not that fearless ....yet

write ya later,

m

on my damn mind

It's Tuesday night.   

Taco Tuesday to be exact ,

 but that , for one Tuesday,

 is not what I am thinking about.

Tonight.... I am thinking about the wrinkles in my legs.  

WTF ....

Wrinkles. 

I said it. No one acknowledges, but I said it .   I was doing a bit of stretching, bent over and thought "shit holes.  That skin is my mom's skin. MOTHERFUCKER." 

I'm ok, I have recovered. I applied generous amounts of lotion, had 2 beers, and remembered no one is looking at my legs anymore.  See, this would be a tragedy if I was 32....or even 42...But I am now 49.  shit happens, so they say.

my legs in my eyes.

We get older, it happens. We are supposed to age gracefully, to embrace our age, yet at this age it's a mother fucker.  I am with someone. So, I guess in reality it doesn't matter. He doesn't;t look at me any ways, but if I was single I'd be pissed.  All these men in their late 40's dating 25year olds.  Ugh. 

have you looked around at the dating pool lately. not so good for middle class middle America.

Well, at least for women.  ( I guess it depends on what you are looking for)

In my eyes, it is pretty slim.

Back to my legs and body.
I'm heading to Mexico in a few weeks and would like to feel good about myself.  I have been working out and back to fairly clean eating. I'll keep you posted on the progress.
I am old...no one is looking, but I look.  I judge myself.
we will talk about that in a later post.

Mexico.
It's on my mind.
I'm hoping it will rekindle some  of the other half's interest in me.  Away from the daily world, maybe he can find a minute to look, listen and touch me again.
I guess I'll find out.
Til the end of summer I said.
One can only do so much

write ya later,
m

hey Bitches....

I'm almost 48  ,   I don't know maybe almost 49   

....I think it was 48 my birthday is 1/23

...I'm tipsy tonight on this Thursday night.  I used to always type on Thursday.   Then I stopped...old age, work, lazy ...you know.   

Anyways , I'm now typing.

courtesy Baddie Winkie  xoxoxo

So, my birthday coming up I'm feeling pretty good.   I'm working....I'm still sassy and although my hair is turning grey, my hairstylist won't let me go grey because I'm a true redhead.  damn it.  I love grey hair.

My heart is still broken.   I need more in my life. ( please send resumes)   I feel like I'm in my prime, yet I know I'm visually past my prime....it sucks ass. Sex is non existent but the hopes are high.  I continue to run and workout. and shave my legs....that's a plus , right.?

here's the truth.  Getting old isn't hard.  It's not even depressing, really

it just is what it is.

I wish I was male so that I could get my young trophy pony.  pay what I needed and pay for what I need.   But THAT is not ok.

Especially if your are with someone.

please leave a comment for any suggestions 

BECAUSE

if there are no good explanations or reasons

I'm gonna start eating cake and gaining weight

xo

m