It's a different day and age,
Yes I know this, I'm not an idiot, and I do pay attention, but one thing that I keep seeing as a reoccurring theme in the new generations?
How their mom destroyed them.
Every little microbe of them.
No credit for design and implementation, just the destroying.
My mom was a different breed. Did I hate her at times?
Of course, I was a teenager once too.
But never in my years did I blame anything within my life, short of high cholesterol, my mom's fault.
the list of unacceptable Mom behaviors:
alcoholic, smoker, multiple husbands, partier, dancer ( what we would call exotic now), uneducated in a sense, and fighter.
That was my mom.
She also was:
Funny as fuck, hard worker, willing to try anything, dancer, common sense filled, great friend to many, care taker, housewife, and a mom that was there every day.
So I sit and reflect on my accomplishments and my failures, my vices and psychosis.
They are all mine and my individual choices. I never really smoked. I can thank her for that.
Do I drink...yup....but that is all me. Do I make mistakes with my kids?
Hell yeah, but that is me too.
My mom was the best advice giver and if I didn't listen, that was on me. I never, and still don't, blame her for my life. I actually give her credit for much of it. Could she have been better and done better?
Who knows? I don't care. I miss her. I made it to adulthood.
On this Mother's Day maybe we should give a little honest thought to her. She did not cause your distress. We all make our own decisions and are often aware of the consequences of a choice long before we commit to it. So, maybe we should start putting blame where it is deserved. Poor decision making.
**don't get me wrong
I know many bad things happen to young young children which is out of their realm of ability to change the situation as it happens. What maybe we can change is how we move forward in our lives as older teens and adults.
It is nice to have someone to blame for life's shortfalls
but instead, think about how you can move around it.
You can always pick a new "family"
let go of old habits and stressors, even if it involves current family.
Be strong in your decisions and attitudes and stop blaming and start changing the outcomes one step at a time.
I have met many moms who get blamed, and I will bet they were doing their absolute best with the information and skills they had at the time.
remember, we didn't have accessible mental health care like this generation does.
We/They did what they could.
Let's Celebrate the Effort of Mom.
and maybe do a little forgiveness on this day.
xo,
m