Seems Irrelevant Now

 

Lucked out...

Boobs are just fine as of Friday.  Still have to get a mammagram every year and a breast MRI every year , so that is a boob job every 6 months. To top that off it's not covered 100% by insurance.  I take that back.  If I could afford the insurance that takes 700$ out of my paycheck every time it is only a copay....but if I could afford that I would just save the money and not have to pay for insurance.  Catch -22, right?

Murphy's Law always prevails.  Boobs good, Lungs not....well not lungs but the right middle lobe has something that showed up. Could be nothing , could be everything.  I guess I will find out.  But in the inbetween, do I really want to go to gym or not drink a cocktail or two.  Should I have really worried about my belly fat and cellulite for the last year?  Maybe I should have had the ice cream. The thing with Boobs.......they can lop those bitches off, lungs...not so much.

as a nurse who worked in procedures and diagnostics I know that when  a person has been "cancer free" for 7-10 years then they start having respiratory issues it means it is not in your boobs, but has metastasized to lungs or bones or brain.  I've seen it many times.  Healthy...but not so much.

Well, this is giving me the power to get my business in order and make sure everyone knows where I need to be and the party that needs to be had IF that is the case.  I'm hoping and praying that it is just "inflammation or a blood clot" which it could very well be.  I have really only told 3 people , and I have to wait to see what the dr says, right???  Yes.... but like I said, I'm a nurse and know too much. I can read the MRI and the report.  

Other than that. Here we are. doing our goshdarn best.   I bought myself a new Kindle ( the cheap one) to treat myself for the boobs still surviving strong.   I need to outlive my ex, so that I can cash in on his benefits before he cashes in on mine .

Every Muse outlives her stay.

this too shall pass 

xo,

Victory to the great teacher,

m

                                                                           across the universe

Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup

They slither wildly as they slip away across the universe

Pools of sorrow, waves of joy are drifting through my opened mind

Possessing and caressing me

Jai guru deva, om

Nothing's gonna change my world

Nothing's gonna change my world

Nothing's gonna change my world

Nothing's gonna change my world

Images of broken light which dance before me like a million eyes

They call me on and on across the universe

Thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letterbox they

They tumble blindly as they make their way across the universe

Jai guru deva, om

Nothing's gonna change my world

Nothing's gonna change my world

Nothing's gonna change my world

Nothing's gonna change my world

Sounds of laughter shades of life are ringing

Through my open ears inciting and inviting me

Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns

It calls me on and on across the universe

Jai guru deva, om

Nothing's gonna change my world

Nothing's gonna change my world

Nothing's gonna change my world

Nothing's gonna change my world

Jai guru deva

Jai guru deva

Jai guru deva

Jai guru deva

Jai guru deva

Jai guru deva

Craigs List , my dirty little secret

I have a routine. 

Of course I do....

Because, I have a bit of OCD and I like to do things over and over again.

So, many years ago I was looking for a dresser or something which very innocently put me onto Craig's List.

I'm sure you are familiar.

It started harmlessly...perusing the free crap...looking at pictures....moving from section to section....

Late at night, I would sit in bed, with a jelly jar of wine balanced on my chest and laptop on a pillow...I would meticulously click through every section of craigslist.

EVERY SINGLE SECTION

I soon discovered my 2 favorite sections.

Ride share and missed connections.

Every other day I would look at the ride share for my area....

did I need a ride somewhere , you ask???

Oh hell no....but a lot of others did.

Rides to parole, rides to ski, rides to California, Rides in exchange for weed....

rides to transport kids or dogs....

or even just rides to work.

I honestly think this is where Uber started: Craigslist Ride Share.

Recently I saw : "need ride from Denver to Las Vegas ...
( do not contact me for anything besides ride)

really?

well...if you are going to Las Vegas....and want a free ride, should I not ask if I get a little back seat action on the way?
sheesh, what is the world coming to?

It all seems way too easy....

Hell, every time I drive anyone to even the airport for free I feel like I should be compensated
...one way or another.

well, eventually I got to the missed connections.

yup...

as I looked through each one I thought...

"I LOVE THIS"

Some were sad, some are funny, some are just straight up porn, with pictures!...

but everyday I would look through them in hopes one day there would be one for me.
a missed connection for someone who needed to get in touch with me....yet didn't know how.

Years and years I have looked at these.

Friends who know me would laugh...
I started becoming the missed connection connector.

If I knew the place in which people were writing about, I would forward them.

Ex:

"to the adorable waitress at the walnut cafe ....I loved your shorts but was afraid to tell you....if you see this, I'd like to tell you in person."

Because I know the owner of the Walnut Cafe and I used to work there....I forward them right to her, so she can disperse them in the morning meeting 

I find it all quite endearing
And hysterical
although I have not received any feedback that one of the waitresses found their match made on Craig's

Sometimes at work I would write a missed connection to a funny coworker in hopes they would find it...

we would laugh and laugh as she would print it off and lay it on my desk and laugh at the foul, semi explicit missed connection I would write , just to see if she would catch it.
it became a naughty work game
"Hey....I think some trucker is looking for you....he saw you at the stop light on Pearl St....he wants you to check out his 'cabin' in his 18 wheeler'
oh yeah.....

vice.com

I still read them almost every day...

hoping to see a mystery missed connection for me...

"I saw you at the dog park....how I loved the color of your dog's leash"

"looking for my sweet Melissa ...."

"We got stuck in the same isle at Soopers behind the old lady....I smiled at you and you smiled at me....lets go out"
"your chicken sticks look good enough to eat"

I have it all planned out....

I'll keep watching and waiting for my Craig's List stalker to find me.

hurry up....
life is short

xo,
write ya later
m

365 days : post trauma mulch therapy

A dear friend sent me an article about marriage and divorce this past week, amongst all of my family strife and trauma. I always read and or listen to whatever people send my way because:

1. they thought enough of me to send it

2. it may help

The article made me think about no matter how much life education you get you can always use a bit more help and maybe someone with a little better track record to tell you

"you are moving the correct direction."

But, My mind is a bit full right now and as I read I thought...

Does this shit really matter?  We all end up in the same place anyways....dead.

Bettering myself for who?

Me? 

When someone says to you, "You must love yourself, in order to be loved..."

I call bullshit....Makes me laugh

Look at Charles Manson....

he's a piece of shit, but people love him

oh, but wait, 

He loved the shit out of himself.

...Back on track...

Does changing my entire life at 50 even make a difference to anyone?  

Yes, I need to make myself happy, and I am working towards that, but even when my change in status happens, will there be a change?

that is the 500k question.

Three weeks ago I started private therapy sessions, to mainly see if I can correct this great sense of guilt and need to take care of everyone's needs short of my own...Also, I am working towards some life changes which I am finding extremely difficult because of the first issue of guilt.

My new therapist pre-warned me she accidentally says "fuck" sometimes and contrary to her flowey, hippy, royal colored outfit, I really connected.

She let me cry about my recent trauma my son experienced which has left me fearing for his life and my poor parenting skills.

Then she asked me about my life.

Why do I go back and forth on things like a poorly operated amusement park ride?
Me:

"It's not good...but it's not horrible....I won't die if I stay where I am at....but my soul may die...."

She looked me right in the eye and said ...

"WTF?"

shit or get off the pot.

quit overthinking...get out of your overworking brilliant mind and connect with life.

She asked me to make a grand change , but not too grand, before I came back to see her.

So that night, moving quickly, so that I did not have time to dwell.

I quit my job and took a closer job, with more pay, at something I have never done before in my life.

barely told anyone.....just sent the resignation and the acceptance letters all in less than 20 minutes...

then thought I would literally die...

dead....

but I did not.

I took a breath and thought about what my son is going through and said ,

"grow a fucking pair, M....this is just daily life...not death or anywhere close....ya silly twat"

Next she asked how my parental family interacted....

I said, "they are dead" so I'm good there.

oh!? you want to know their interaction when I was growing up?

yeah.  

My mom was a caregiver for my dad who had Alzheimer's for as long as I can remember....

she pretty much sacrificed the best time of her adult life to make sure Dad was safe, loved and cared for in a dignified manner.

..."So, your mom was a caregiver for your dad and 12 kids...she never left because 1. she loved him...and 2. she owed him for taking care of her when they met? ....hmmmm, M...does that sound familiar to you?"

fuck holes.  

"maybe"

Why are you not mad about your current situation?  I see an intelligent, attractive, funny, albeit overthinking, very available woman, with quite a bit to offer, that is getting nothing in return.,,,

Why have you not gotten angry? why ?

Go home...

do one big task and think about the rest...

I'll see you in 2 weeks.

one week...

task one completed but still unable to address the main situation.

I have quietly been laughing at myself.

trying to get back into my normal life post the last few weeks.

Working out, running, taking a million pictures no one sees, writing, actually riding my Moto....and connecting with people who have been trying to connect yet I have closed them out.

It feels pretty good and soothing...not stressful.

questioning if this is apathy...that I don't care what he will think....or is it the start of a fuller independence?

Independence wise I threw 80 bags of mulch down around the huge ass yard, because this is what you do around here....I packed more things in case I want to just walk away.

looked at studios and such even though people say....

you shouldn't move...

you should get to stay.

maybe I don't want to 

4/8/19

post mulch...no makeup...no filter...just me...

Feel free to offer any advice, article , love, you may have in the comments.

I'm open.

my heart is open.

my humor is there....

ha

write ya later,

m

goal for next year? write ...

I'm funny!  I just went back and read some of my older posts...hysterical  

I'm like a comedian and shit.  

I'm not sure if it was just a weird time or if I really am funny, but we are going to find out

Here's the deal.   I'm an RN at in Gastroenterolgy and pre proceudre etc.   Some days I work in the Colonscopy room.   Thats shit is funny

so   we are going to perfect our writing skills again.

yes we are...just like this guy

Don't be Cunty

Lately I have been receiving flack for using my ever favorite offensive word......

Cunt.

Go ahead , shake your head.....but it's a great word.  Not sure why it's so effective , but it is.  It rolls off the back of the tongue like a thick loogie.  

It's thick, that's the best way to describe the word.

try it....say it out loud

Someone the other day stated that someone else was being "cunty" and I about died laughing.

It's perfect and the description fit to a tee.  

There is not another word in the human language which will stop a women in her tracks so quickly.

Apparently it is a word not special to the English Language , but to all.

Here, check out Cherish the Cunt . ( you are welcome for that much needed history lesson)

I'm apparently not the only one
memes galore

So , today...

try not to be cunty,

and if you know someone who is being cunty....

tell them to just stop it

 or better yet...

send them a meme

write ya later,

m

last night in bed

watching TV

Husband says: We should try that new veggie bake from Stouffers, look.

me:  uh huh

Husband: it says all new great taste, all natural and now made with fresh ingredients....

Husband: Nice to know I wasn't eating fresh ingredients before, thank you Stouffers...dumbasses.

crafty wafty

The other night Synda, the kids, a bottle of wine, a 12 pack of microbrew,me and a billion bottlecaps all came together in a beautiful way.

Ilin made Bionicle ones for his locker.  I put mine in tins...ready for someones lucky fridge

we made bottle cap magnets and although I couldn't quite get a good picture, they were awesome!!   The ones right above are of Amy and Blake...you know, heroin sheek.

I got to giggling so hard Synda had to put down her "fancy arts and crafts" to come on over to the trashy side and do bottle caps.

We did 6 degrees of seperation:  Brad P, Angelina, Jen, which lead us to Oprah, Dr. Phil ,Tom Cruise and Katie, all neatly placed in a tin.

A little glue, a splash of glitter and damn!...you have art fit for sale.

I made a Bin Laden magnet and Synda made an Obama magnet.  We couldn't find Bush...but we will, and he too will be hung out to dry in a bottle cap with glitter and glue.

Sydna found old Brittany S and let her live the rest of her life in a bottle cap placed on a barrett and then found Justin T, snatched his picture away from Jennifer B, and placed him in a bottle cap so that B and J could be together again, because as Synda pointed out we all really just want Brittany to get back together with JT.  So there you have it, Brittany Spears and Justin Timberlake glittered out hair clips!

I guess what we need to do is do an artsy fartsy gift swap so we can unload some of this junk on other people who will appreciate at it as much as I do.  I was thinking as I made them....now THIS is a gift.  This isn't some coffee cup off the shelf at Target...this has thought, time, love, laughs and best of all,GLITTER!

We had so much fun.  We Must do it again before the holidays.

Now is anyone up for some Bottlecap magnets...maybe I should do a giveaway?

Day of Urology

Did I tell you guys that the other day I saw more dick than a whore on Colfax? Well I did! Big Dick, little dick, hairy dick, big balled dick...no balled dick (if you can believe that one) and inside the dick. There are truly some things which can not be explained without seeing it first hand....to me, Urology is one of them.

Singing Penis | Funny Jokes at JibJab

please watch the video...it's educational  :)

Many people do not realize that when they do anything with the penis the Dr. goes through that tiny little hole at the end of the penis. It involves a cool machine which looks similiar to a video game stick and lots of water...

tool for cramming up the penis hole....

the Beautiful Prostate

Yeah...Lot's of water. It was amazing. Did you know they scrape the prostate off with a "hot loop" in order to widen the area? Well you do now, and I saw it all first hand. It's not all doom and grossness in the urology surgery area. There was some humor. The nurse (not me) shaved the wrong side of this super hairy Yeti and the Dr. had a meltdown and said as punishment she would have to reshave so that at least it looked like they had some sense of what they were doing... Then some guy actually sat up why they were doing the procedure!!! Yikes scared the piss put me (no pun intended). MORE DRUGS!!!!!! Don't worry, the man and his penis were fine. I on the other hand was totally freaked out!

So, so far I have experienced many things and still haven't figured out what I like, even penises didn't keep my interest for very long. Maybe I can get some good suggestions for nursing. I think I might like VA. They have lots of stories, lot's of issues and could use a few good nurses. Hmmmm? I gotta go back to school. You guys have a great weekend....I'm gonna have myself a Martini after school. One more week down.

write ya later

m

in class....I'm weird

In Mom/Baby class we are talking about the oh-so- interesting neonate....please don't get me wrong, I'm okay with babies...I have had them, vaginally if you must know....really big babies....I'm just not so interested in the slumbering neonate, with rubber bones. Give me a sassy 4 year old, riding her tryke down the living room stairs, now, that is interesting. (Back to topic)

In the class we are forced to move at an incredibly slow pace to accommodate men who have no idea where babies come from, nursing students who have not a lick of common sense, and the few who can barely keep themselves together thinking about a baby sucking on a tit. You know, because for some people, maybe nursing school is similar to "rocket science"...I don't know....

As, my mind wondered away from how to properly hold a baby and how to "burrito wrap" I started laughing to myself. ~~~~~~~ The first week I brought Ilin home he had his own bassinet, but occasionally I would fall asleep feeding. Normal. One night, I was having the absolute best sleep, you know, that heavy, body becomes one with the mattress sleep...and was dreaming so wonderfully...... Puppies, kittens, warm blankets, the dreamy dream of sleep...."what is that little sound? Puppy whimpering?" I slowly awaken to The Other Half, saying," The Baby...Honey, the BABY>>>" Thinking to myself...what Baby? all I hear is little puppy sounds and cat mews...Baby???? Oh Shit!!!! I just had a baby 2 days ago and where is it? Where am I, What the F...... ?? Looking desperately around for the stolen neonate....I roll my heavy self over towards the sounds coming from the side of the bed....Oh My GOD!!!!! (insert little mewing baby noises here) I peek down the side of the bed....and there, all "burrito wrapped" in his little NeeNee is Ilin, sucking his fist and patiently waiting for the person who is supposed to protect him, to rescue him from the floor under the bed. He had apparently just slowly wiggle wobbled down the side of the bed next to the wall with no PLOP...just an easy descent. Interesting how things work.

Lord have Mercy!!! Really??? I remember thinking, "this is it...if this child lives to be 1 year old it will be amazing. " Things change, people change, priorities change, and for me...most of all....my level of sleep changed. It has never been the same since that day. I still hear if Ilin farts in his sleep 2 doors down the hall....I can hear Olive's feet hit the ground when she wakes up in the middle of the night to go potty. Never again will I fail my kids in the "Lost in Deep Sleep" mode.

Which brings me back to Mom/Baby class....ZZZzzzZZZZzzzz....."never shake a baby" blah blah...."Support head" ......"No need for Rectal Thermometers"......ZZZZzzzzZZZZZZzzzz

(I just like this picture...I did NOT do this)

Please remember to use safety restraints in stroller...

Because my life is boring right now

I got this great email from a dear friend....I changed all the names...I should save it for Friday...But it may be perfect for Monday....here it is long, but oh so funny:
"...so here it is WTF is up with people?

I don't understand why people find it so difficult to show up at work and do their job. Its not like we have it rough we basically just have to show up but, apparently even thats asking too much. Everyday no matter who it is thats working they are late. Not a 1 or 2 minutes late but at least 30 min late. Of course the only time its busy is in the morning when I am by myself. Today Dorka called at 7:30 "I overslept, I'm going to be late" no shit, you're already late. So once again I'm working by myself with a line of people, not so patiently waiting people. So 1st thing, I check in a lab patient then then I have to wait 5 min while the printer is "warming up", well thats nice, I didn't get a chance to warm up this morning. Then of course the annoyed employee wants their $5.00 petty cash and they are special you know, so they shouldn't have to wait. Then its the limited English speaking person who just doesn't understand why they have to pay $30 for their ER visit they have a wecare card, doesn't that just magically make their bill go away?...well, yes it does, all but $30 of it went away...then they pull out their huge wad of cash and pay. Next up is the lovely construction guys who are working on something somewhere and are suppose to meet someone sometime at someplace. Well thanks for all the info guys I appreciate it and yes it would be my honor to figure it all out for you while you stand their and stare at me. And of course while all this is going on I'm trying to answer the WORK phones....then finally say screw it and gave up answering, which prompts another visit from Lola in the ER to find out why I'm not answering when SHE calls to tell me that she is sending me some more things to do.
I say,

"Listen, I'm not answering because I'm busy and yes I can hear the phone ring and yes I can see that its you calling and yes I can here the tubes dropping down into the station and yes I know they are probably from you sending me more crap to do and yes I know the reason you won't walk the damn papers over like you do every morning is because you know I'm alone...busy...and could use a little help and heaven forbid that help come from you even though there is absolutely no one in the ER and we always rush over to help you out!"

So my morning pretty much sucked and then Dorka (almost forgot about her, huh?) strolls in at almost 9:00 coffee in hand...WTF wheres my coffee? Then even after she finally shows up it takes her an hour to get ready and come out of the cashiers office all the time I'm still registering all the patients, answering the phones, and doing bedboard. Then just about as soon as she comes out Susan comes over for breaks...good I'm ready for a break (remember I still need a coffee) but oooo Dorka goes on break. Ok, thats fine I can wait, at least Susan is here, (the only other sane one left) and I can get a coffee in a few. But noooo Dorka doesn't come back until the bedboard meeting is about to start and I've already had phone calls all morning asking "wheres my bed" so needless to say I have to stay and I have to let go of the idea of having a nice cup of coffee...it just wasn't meant to be. Its 11:00 lunch is in an hour no problem...right? Well, Dorka goes to lunch 1st but first decides she needs to make a couple of phone calls. She finally leaves and then doesn't come back for an hour. Now its 1:10 and I literally just stood up to leave for lunch when Bosslady comes out and says Lola in ER is "slammed" and needs help. She has three people to register...the same three people that have been here forever. Ones been here over an hour the next 45 min and one for half an hour, what she has been doing since they first got here I don't know. Anyways, I sit back down, whats another missed lunch break. Finally at 1:45 I go to lunch. Thats good at least now when I go back to work I'll only have another hour and a half before I'm off... thats good. So after lunch I begrudgingly go back upstairs, Susan looks over my shoulder to check on the ER to see if she should go help Lola before she goes home. I told her no just go home don't give her another break there's not even anyone to reg she'll be fine. I was wrong about 10 min after she left Leann called and wanted to know when she was getting her afternoon break. Seriously, SERIOUSLY!?? I about had a nervous breakdown. Let it go, let it GO...its friday its almost time to go home. I was so excited to see Sasha walk in (never thought that would happen) she was early and I could go. Not yet, she had to go do something first but would be right back. Silly me I was on the phone working when she came back so she was going to go get some water. After 15 min I realized "get some water" was really code for" flirt with the security guard". She finally came back and I was on the phone again so she was just going to go talk with Bboy. To top things off Janet came in to do an interview and while she waited for the sucker who applied she stood behind me while I was talking on the phone and ran her fingers through my hair (you all know how much I like that). Seriously...she kept doing it the entire time I was on the phone and even after as I was trying to give Sasha report so I could get the hell out of there. What is wrong with people and why do they always feel the need to touch my hair??, I don't really know you, I don't know where your hands have been or when was the last time you washed them, huh? So...with that my day was done. It couldn't have ended sooner....no really.....couldn't it have ended sooner?
All I can say is....What The Fuck....its my new favorite phrase

Me

thanks A....I couldn't have said it better...I swear

feeling blah

so, I decided to do some self portraits.

I don't like my looks...My mom was a beautiful showgirl with beauty you wouldn't believe...did I get that? NO...I look just like my dad. Freckled in the weird way, stringy hair and big nose. It's ok...after 38...am I 39?, after 38 years I have grown to live with it. My technique is: when I see a picture of me...I don't look...I save it and look next year, then it usually doesn't seem too bad. (I'm such a genius) Back to subject on hand. Before I go spend $$$ I don't have trying to make myself feel better...I'm thinking panties...I thought I would check out the new stuff on the "photobooth" on my imac...they are funny and when the kids and I do it we laugh and laugh...didn't quite work the same for myself , but as a bit of self loathing therapy I thought I would post them.

Myssi in Cinemascape, on the rollercoaster in her computer room

Myssi, appearing to be flying off the rollercoaster, but in the incorrect direction...stupid gravitational pull

Myssi, she has a great personality, so don't worry...she'll be fine

Myssi....with eybrows(because her hair is so light she has no eybrows or eyelashes)....a fancy mustache (takes away from the nose, you know redirects the eye),,,and a lovely flower.  

see the look on this guys face?  This is what I'm dealing with...He often has that look when I'm around.  Makes me , well, you can guess.

As my mom said, " myssi,You have a great personality and a brain to boot, who needs looks with that combo?"  

Well, Mom, too bad you couldn't live long enough to see how it all turned out.

My gifted child is a num nutt

I wanted to relay a set of occurances which happened starting with my 11 year old last night and progressed all the way to the teacher.  I don't know, I thought it SO summed up my daily life...i laughed all day about it....and everyone who knows Ilin Blue just laughed also....so, sit back and read.  I've added a bit of commentary.

conversation last night as I search the middle school website for homework assignments to check if everything is being done:

:looking at website:

"Ilin, are you in Honors math?"  

Ilin(squinting at computer screen): "Uhhhhh, i don't know, I do graphs and stuff...that doesn't look or sound familiar, I don't know...I just do what they tell me....mmmm...nahhh, I'm not in Honors, no, Mom, nobody has said anything about gifted or honors anything."

mom:  "Really, didn't you test for it?   You were in it last year.  What are you doing in class, ask the teacher!"

Ilin: " Yeah ok, I'll ask, but I don't think we have HONORS."

mom: "Well, look ding-a ling, it says 'Honors Math' right here."

Ilin: "I DON'T KNOW!!!!  I just go where they tell me,,,,, it doesn't seem like Honors Math, don't you have to be smart?"

mom:  "Never mind"

email the next morning to Ex:

"Dear Ex (changed name to protect the innocent and stupid),

do you have time to get onto the westview website and email Mr. Mowry and find out why Ilin is not in the honors math?

Ilin is on the blue team.
and I want to try to get him in the harder classes. I think if he has higher classes he'll work harder.
i have school all day today and have zip time"

email Mr EX sent to school

"

Mr.. Mowry,

Hello I am Mr. EX, Ilin's dad. We want Ilin to get a firm grasp on math as early as possible and would like to know what steps we can take to try to push him into honors math.
Unfortunately math wasn't a strong point with me and we thought, if he is capable,into the honors class which would make him focus more.

I am sure he was assessed and we are just curious what he is lacking that kept him out of the honors class. I understand that some people just don't have a strong mathematical mind (like me :-)) but we want the best for Ilin if at all possible.

Thanks for the help!

Regards
Mr. EX

email I got from Mr. EX later ( heehee)

subject: Well I feel like an idiot
We'll I feel like an idiot now..........

From: Mowry R
To: Mr EX
Subject: RE:

He is in honors math, and has been since the beginning of school.

Mr. Mowry
6th Grade Blue Math
WVMS

Bwahahahahahahaha

Now that is what you call parents in the proactive form and very out of touch.

Here's my email I sent back to Mr. Ex

You know who should feel like an idiot...your gifted son who told me he has no idea what type of math he is in and is pretty sure he's NOT in the gifted or honors stuff. I said to him last night. Are you sure? he said, no one has told me anything about honors math...

ding dong
he's got your genes :)

this is totally going to keep me laughing ALLLLLLLLL DAY hahahahahahaha

Myssi Graves

this just sums it all up...

boys....MEN!!!!  NUMM NUTTS (my new fav. word)

I gotta go drink myself into happiness, although that pretty much made my day.

yeah...these are funny

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY
GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN
ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES ; NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN TUMBLING DOWN THE
STAIRS.

this is what I'm TALKIN about

When I take the time to go through my blog roll I'm saddened that I don't know these woman. It's my secret life. It's my voyeurism living wild. I took a few of my favorite quotes and put the links to the blogs and for me, this is what life is about. Different ages, different beauty, all very different lives, yet we all are connected. Some more so than others.
This is what I'm talkin' about.......

"It's amazing what a little (ok, a lot) Tanqueray will do to a newly single, relatively unstable girl. So, I went a little nuts. So what? It was the most fun I've had in a while. A real balls to the wall night out. I rocked out with my proverbial cock out."
Regardez Moi
That's my girl...Strap it on, and Rock it out!...

"rushing home to enjoy a rather nasty combination of Fresca and Jim Beam and later that night an andouille sausage po-boy."
Fly in My Mint Julep
Because Fresca, the refreshing citrus drink with no calories, isn't just for breakfast anymore.

"I live a block away from the city's own Grand Central Tranny, a hot bed of prostitution. Not only do I often get great compliments on my way to work (they LOVE my huge metallic gold, crystal and metal studded purse! Susannah hates it) but just the other day I was solicited! I’m 63 years old for chrissake."
Petunia Face's mom
For the woman I'm aspiring to be....her guest post was full of beautiful Drag Queens and Wisdom...just as it should be...and the quote above........ Because fuckin life doesn't end at 50 or 60, or really until you are in the ground, so let's live it! xoxox.

"Dear family,

I am not the maid.

Bite me.

Sincerely,
Wife/mom"

I like Yarn

enough said, family...i ditto that

So, there are many more, but if you live in my fantasy world of sex, drugs and proverbial cocks...all of this makes me laugh out loud, especially because life is what you make of it...and this makes for good life.

Write ya late

myssi

Maybe someone could use one of these

ya know, I was just surfing the internet and came across this....

I'm pretty sure someone might be able to use it

Bid Now

heehee