Pick That Guy

Here's something which made me giggle

I /we were putting away laundry...

you know the mundane crap task of folding and putting away.

Completing the task...which I despise 

When I heard from the other room...

"This is like a fucking dream come true....Never in my life did I think I would be putting away your underwear....Never...I fucking love this part of all of this"

If anyone ever announces this to you.... pick them.  

seriously 

Pick the person who loves you, your laundry, and your nasty ratty underwear.

xoxo,

just a small piece of wisdom,

m

I Pick You , Dummy

"You have been alone for so long , M"

Don't have guilt....

well, you know.

I laugh...because of course things could have been handled better.

Of course I could have thought more about what the result of my actions would entail.

BUT

I did...

and I did it anyways.

and here I am

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

say anything...

and here it goes

it's a story...

like high school

all names have been changed

(all of this is not verbatim, and some may be made up)

"If I don't tell you now, I'll miss my chance."

This is stuff love stories are made of....

"I have been waiting for 4 years for this day....4 years quietly waiting"

how does this happen?

It happens because when the stupid heart picks someone ....sometimes it dwells

and dwell it does

sometimes for years at a time

sometimes it tries to date,

tries to move,

tries to be normal....

but it just can't

it waits.

stupid heart

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

You are beautiul

whatever you have been told....

fuck it....

look at me

I'm telling you....

I got nothing to lose but everything....

you

are perfect....

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Me:

thank you

now.....

when do I get to talk?

when can I scream to the world

YOU MAKE ME HAPPY

when do I get to stop being the hard ass

and say,

you kill me

when can I post pictures 

when can I tell a friend

when can I say....

I____________you?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

you looked at me and said this is my chance....

I haven't really dated, because of you ....

I never moved away, because of you....

the only reason I came over was to see....

you.

I have been in love with you for years....

now I sound like an idiot ...

now I have broken guy code....

now I could be totally....

I don't know....

fucked

but I had to say it to you

and now ....

I did.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

my heart

I've been alone for so long

I've been together for so long

we have been friends for so long

how did I not know?

because I love people.

I love my friends

my love is broad....

so, it's hard to distinquish

BUT

when you touched the small of my back to lead me away

I knew.

"you are breaking guy code, you know that right?"

you looked at me then looked ahead.

you opened the car door....

something that I had long forgotten was a thing

you smiled when you got in

you looked at me and sighed 

"yeah, I know....I know, but you are worth it to me....

even if I lose you and everyone else"

I wanted to punch you in the throat

I wanted to scream and run

I tried to explain you to me, which was ridiculous

but you....

you looked at me 

and shrugged

"it's just what my heart wants and I have to believe there is a higher power putting this all into motion...it has to mean something"

yes

my heart is scared

not of you....

of others....

what they will say

how to explain

why can't they see

the "say anything"

in all of this...

the testing the waters of love....

the love story,

unfolding

?

xo,

m

love stories

I promise at some point the humor will come back

I promise

seriously

write ya later

365 days :maybe it's not generational.... day 177

Day:177

today this girl went to her first job.  

That's Tripp in the background, one of the owners of Tortugas in Longmont.

They needed a dishwasher and this  freshly turned 15 year old said ," I am in".

We , well most of us, have worked a labor job at some point in our life.  

I have done them all. 

Growing up in the tourist town of Destin, Florida I worked mainly kitchen....because that is where the work was. It was hard, sweaty, work....but I met some of the most amazing people ever in the kitchens.  I learned about work ethic, food, cleanliness, teamwork, anger management and love in those kitchens. 

Everyone should work in the kitchen at some point. 

True fact... 

washing dishes teaches you respect and understanding of service industry and teaches you what the low man on the totem pole really is.

This girl, Olive Bijie, showed up, having never worked a real job let alone operate a dish machine, busted her ass, and made it through a busy Saturday night .... 

I am proud of her.

Before she went in we talked to her about work ethic and how she is strong  and sassy (which is requirement #1 of kitchen work)

and she is not a quitter.

just so you know....

I thought she would be crying when I picked her up.

but NO....

she was standing there tired, but smiling, with a togo box of high end food and the owners saying 

"she did great...it was so busy.... we want her back if she will have us"

her response....

" I like money...I'll be back"

We say this generation and the last are lazy...don't want to work, want to start at the top and never do manual labor....but here I have a 15 year old girl, who is baby sitting, dog watching, and now working washing dishes.....

so maybe it's not generational...

maybe it's the upbringing?

I'm a really proud mom right now.

She exceeded my expectations and did it...

 and I hope she excels at it.

even if it is dishwashing

because if you are going to do a job...

do your best,

whether it is washing dishes or brain surgery

do your best.

do your fucking best

xo,

write ya later 

m

lost in translation

One of my friends is a quiet communicator. 

Let's say silent. 

How does one communicate with a person who is silent?

How do you know the truth from bullshit? 

How do you connect?

Buried in their darkness, or is it just me.

I understand that each person is their own and each person has their own demons and issues which delays connection due to trust. My demon basket overfloweth, so I get it.

 Lost in translation. 

Open hearts, connection, passion....

It starts there.....

trust, stories, secrets....

touch.

Back to reality.

For many people, connection at the surface is enough. 

My connection is deep. I cannot even hold a friendship together if we have not shared depth. 

Shallow does not connect with me. 

my favorite is to share secret laughs and stories between.

it is unbreakable 

it is 

tight

Blank stares, lost in translation....

write ya later,

m

broken like a piece of china

I'm not gonna whine about this much more.  As I was told at some point, " no one owes you an excuse as to why they stop talking or caring,  just move on."

I get it...I'm moving.............slowly. 

I will elaborate only slightly, because some things are better left unsaid.

I have a hard time with "unsaid".

When you have a friend who rocks your world you re-think things, everything. 

Sunshine is brighter

Music has meaning

Sweets are sweeter 

and

honestly some stuff is just straight out amazing.

When you meet someone like this and you connect one often feels this is a "thing".  Nothing else really matters, this is something that will be here.  They get you. You get them. They give you advice, and you think more....contemplate.

Then little things start happening.  The timing is all wrong. Excuses are made and you start to wonder...

was I that wrong?  

Did my radar totally go whack? 

How could I let this person play me?

fuck

It's like I am a teen again and the breakup is bad. 

Except as a teen, it just scars you for life and makes baggage....

As an adult, when a friend dumps you, you break.  Like china.

I can't afford to break right now....

It's weird when your inner soul totally plays you for a fucking idiot.  

Is this some sort of bullshit lesson? 

Probably.

As my sister said, " you will do what is right when the time is right....maybe (this friend) was saving you a fall".

maybe

but I don't like it

I'm lonely

my brain has less to think about

less to smile about 

and less to dream about

yup...

I hate feeling like that crazy woman up the street....

Gotta let it go....

Maybe you will come around

totally worth it.

write ya later........

m

Don't be Cunty

Lately I have been receiving flack for using my ever favorite offensive word......

Cunt.

Go ahead , shake your head.....but it's a great word.  Not sure why it's so effective , but it is.  It rolls off the back of the tongue like a thick loogie.  

It's thick, that's the best way to describe the word.

try it....say it out loud

Someone the other day stated that someone else was being "cunty" and I about died laughing.

It's perfect and the description fit to a tee.  

There is not another word in the human language which will stop a women in her tracks so quickly.

Apparently it is a word not special to the English Language , but to all.

Here, check out Cherish the Cunt . ( you are welcome for that much needed history lesson)

I'm apparently not the only one
memes galore

So , today...

try not to be cunty,

and if you know someone who is being cunty....

tell them to just stop it

 or better yet...

send them a meme

write ya later,

m

sorry, i have been neglectful

But I'll assure you it isn't just to you. My family is feeling it too. They hate me. The dog hates me, everyone hates me. I have been going non stop since the first of the month. I want all you future nurses to know it doesn't HAVE to be like this, it just is for me right now. SO don't be discouraged. really.

Here's a funny thing. I stopped worrying about money, yet I continue to go to work. Wouldn't it make more sense to stop working for a month and not worry about anything? YES...but there is no one to replace me. Why do I worry about that? Well, I don't...but my work ethic sucks in that sense. I don't want to bobble the bobble, if you know what I mean.

Today I will help Olive ride her bike a half mile to school at the lightening speed of -.08 miles per hour (yes she sometimes goes backwards)...then I'm off to school for 9 hours to do some sort of DRT testing for the school.

I have boycotted graduation since I may not be graduating. So I will not be partaking in school pictures. That will teach them. HA! Better get going.

love you guys...I swear I will be back soon