Boulder Halloween Mall Crawl, a must do

This weekend I headed out on my own to see the Boulder Halloween Mall Crawl. Since I had my "no waiting around " policy epiphany, I just decided to go check it out even though I really had no one to go with. The costumes were on point.

many zombies

way too many sexy scary zombies (hopefully they all stumbled home safely)

a few dancing T-Rex (the best)

I think I found Waldo at least 4 times

Anonymous was there.....many, many of them 

And a few pretty darn cool scary clowns.

All just partying up and down the street.

It was really quite cool.

The coolest part was this area where they were having a dance party.  It was a tight space, everyone from every age group was dancing. It was just a really awesome vibe.  I love to dance.  I don't get to dance that often because because the other half in my family does not dance at all.  Period .... not even sexy slow dance.....But ME? I LOVE to DANCE.  This dance party reminded me of when I worked in the clubs and people were just free...just grooving. I wanted to dance my feelings away, but by the time I was feeling comfortable enough to get my groove on....it was over.  Typical. Dancing and laughing with people is a skill that everyone should have and I am really going to try to do more of it....without hesitation.  

 nekkid pumpkin run, 2017 ( I missed it ...or maybe they are actually doing this n Wed. Night)

Dance party 

If you ever get a chance....check it out ...and take some advice from me, dance !  dance like no one is looking, you owe it to yourself

write ya later,

m

Hellllllo October, you Bitch

Oh, October in Colorado.  One of the persnickiest times of the year.

One day 78 degrees and clear ....

Isn't it lovely?

All less than 12 hours later.

Same view....

17 degrees. 

No worries though, this is why we love Colorado, she is as unpredictable as a, well, let's say a woman who has been on the wagon for 17 days, attempting to figure out what to do with all her free time not spent drinking or surfing IG or Facebook.

"Shall I have an acid flavored Kombucha?....or a cucumber water?"

"Shall I knit or shall I clean and sort my entire sewing room, then decide to finish all projects which were left unfinished from years ago?"

Guess what ?

All of the above.

SoberOctober is proving itself to be quite productive, not only for projects , but for clearing my mind and getting my lonely lost head straight. 

Two Thumbs up, M!.

 yeah Kanye, we get it 

"MAGA"....and that is starting with my sewing room and brain.

Let's see, just for the idle chatter, I knitted a sweater, sewed a bag (little hexagon appliqué pictured below), got a Fitbit, been working out, am getting a BMI body scan, repotted all the outdoor plants to bring inside and planned a trip to Nashville

Who doesn't love Hexagons?

All of this while sober.  

I may just keep it up into November (probably not, because my friends are so not supportive).

I am still grieving the loss of a friendship which brought me much joy....but it will be ok. 

Everything works out in the end, one way or another, it is just weird to hear someone say they will be there, then , well.....go silent.

Part of my Yoga, workout, run therapy also involves lessons in patience. 

It's kind of cool.

I am working just being me. 

It's all good when you can look at yourself and laugh...give people hugs....and  say "good things happen to good people and mean it". 

I missed out (self inflicted) on a once in a lifetime trip to Machu Picchu, which was to start tomorrow, because 

1. guilt of spending $3K on myself

2. a little bit scared

3. head not quite where it needed to be to travel and enjoy.

it's ok....there will be more trips....right?

(yes that is grey hair...the red is being replaced by silver)

This is me....at work, 

washing my hands so that I can pass out some more hugs.

Try it.

I'll keep ya posted on my plans.

Nashville, Bryce National Park 1/2, then hopefully Italy and or Greece....although I have heard Croatia is quite nice. 

xoxox,

write ya later,

m

Sober October day 9

As you know, I like my cocktails, well beer especially, but October has rolled around and I was reminded by my far far away friends that I have been known to participate in things such as Sober October and Lent (yes , I said Lent).

Thanks, God....

It is day 9 and I have to admit one thing...I sleep better. With that said let me tell you a few of the things which are not working out:

1. I went out the other night and I had to become the UBER drive, because I wasn't drinking.  At one point I was toting drunkards around and I decided to make an illegal turn. Someone in the backseat said, "hey, you can't do that"....my response, "Fuck it...Pull my ass over....they can give me a ticket. I am so sober it's frightening."  Then from the backseat, "yeah....it is frightening, 

This will probably never happen again."   

Nice support guys.

( this is what my backseat looked like)

2. I was told I am no fun when sober....    another thanks for the support...

3. I feel like I have nothing to do.  I never realized how much I enjoy having a beer and or a vodka drink at night while relaxing.  Now, as a fellow SoberOctober friend announced, "I have drunk more tea than Kermit the Frog". bingo, brother, bingo....and that lousy bubble water with flavors that taste like plastic fruit.

besides all of that I have discovered a few things that now that I am done with the depression of not having a beer, I am going to cash in on....and I think I will continue for the rest of the month to blog on it.  I have been feeling pretty good about blogging and if you do read this feel free and let me know because as of now I feel pretty open knowing no-one really gives a shit or reads this crap.

So, point at hand,

1. I have found time to read.

2. I am knitting and sewing again which you can see on my IG

3. I have plenty of time to think and try to make my apologies to all the people I have been weird to. Although when one attempts to reconnect on a nonweird platform it just appears the one is fucking crazy, so I just do my best and hope I can re-establish the love I once had for people and them me.

4. Run

This is the big one.  I have made a commitment to myself, starting today (in 38 degrees) to try to run again.  I am shooting for a half marathon in Bryce Canyon.  Running is something I do alone.  I have yet to find anyone who I can or want to run with, comfortably ( if you are out there contact me). So, this I will continue to talk about.

5. Russel Brand requested I start to meditate every day to clear my head and become my old self.

I am on top of this, I would rather be on top of him...but we will start with meditation.

Thanks Russ...

6. Depressed M is going bye bye.  My life is mine.  There is a path here somewhere and I am going to find that bitch.

write ya later,

m

love story of an inconvenient time

A love story from a time long ago.

       We all have a story as such.  A beautiful love story which occurs when there is not a possible right thing to do short of drastic risk. Memories which always come back as "What if's", tears, and  lessons learned. We all have a story, each and every one of us.


....are you ok?.....
hmmmm, what is this, who is this?
......pertaining to what you said....you sounded....well, not ok.

Jesus Criminy, I thought I deleted that. I know I deleted that. Yes , I was mad....hurt, pissed, sad, and I had to get it out. To a world of non people, who I don't know and will never meet.  It's frightening, yet exhilarating to just dump it into the world and no one really knows you, so no damages can come from it.

      But someone did notice and he was intriguing.  His short conversations were honest but guarded. Easy banter among friends.  Especially easy when you really don't 'know' the person.

I remember when it turned the corner.
......what are you doing? , did you know you are hanging out right around the corner from me?.....
No, I'm seeing a band.
......yeah, you just posted and I live right around the corner, I could come up......
pause, ~~heart racing~~
NO.  I'm good, it's late, I'm not staying much longer.

But the feeling was exhilarating, but also wrong.  I was in a committed relationship, regardless of the up and many downs.  I always have kept the faith that the downs will turn around and my relationship at home will be better.  I do have morals, I think, or at least my brain has morals, my heart thinks differently.

then next morning, before I was even awake.....
......I love that picture of you working out on the carpet....
( huh,? that picture is 3 years old). Hey, that's an old picture , what ? did you do go through all my pictures, weirdo?
......yeah
All 3000?
......pretty much.
(inside smile, and a chuckle) weirdo.

This was our friendship.  Banter online at any given time.  He was a late owl, I was an early bird, he was a meat eater, I was not; which in agreement made our friendship incompatible from the beginning.

But he made me smile, laugh, think, and encouraged me, probably unbeknownst to him, more than anyone in my family ever did.  He noticed things and held me accountable when I was wrong. I could count on him to acknowledge life and cool little corners of it in a similar way as my own. His photos of his day to day life caught my eye and I felt an odd connection with another person who saw life in pictures and words....simple pictures and words.

I don't remember how we first spoke, mostly through funny banter and an occasional message about our day? I don't remember the first time I noticed his comments, but upon looking back, it must have been about 2 years. 2 years. That is a long time for chit chat.  The friendship was inevitably going to change one way or another.

........tbc

Write ya later
m