A love story from a time long ago.
We all have a story as such. A beautiful love story which occurs when there is not a possible right thing to do short of drastic risk. Memories which always come back as "What if's", tears, and lessons learned. We all have a story, each and every one of us.
....are you ok?.....
hmmmm, what is this, who is this?
......pertaining to what you said....you sounded....well, not ok.
Jesus Criminy, I thought I deleted that. I know I deleted that. Yes , I was mad....hurt, pissed, sad, and I had to get it out. To a world of non people, who I don't know and will never meet. It's frightening, yet exhilarating to just dump it into the world and no one really knows you, so no damages can come from it.
But someone did notice and he was intriguing. His short conversations were honest but guarded. Easy banter among friends. Especially easy when you really don't 'know' the person.
I remember when it turned the corner.
......what are you doing? , did you know you are hanging out right around the corner from me?.....
No, I'm seeing a band.
......yeah, you just posted and I live right around the corner, I could come up......
pause, ~~heart racing~~
NO. I'm good, it's late, I'm not staying much longer.
But the feeling was exhilarating, but also wrong. I was in a committed relationship, regardless of the up and many downs. I always have kept the faith that the downs will turn around and my relationship at home will be better. I do have morals, I think, or at least my brain has morals, my heart thinks differently.
then next morning, before I was even awake.....
......I love that picture of you working out on the carpet....
( huh,? that picture is 3 years old). Hey, that's an old picture , what ? did you do go through all my pictures, weirdo?
......yeah
All 3000?
......pretty much.
(inside smile, and a chuckle) weirdo.
This was our friendship. Banter online at any given time. He was a late owl, I was an early bird, he was a meat eater, I was not; which in agreement made our friendship incompatible from the beginning.
But he made me smile, laugh, think, and encouraged me, probably unbeknownst to him, more than anyone in my family ever did. He noticed things and held me accountable when I was wrong. I could count on him to acknowledge life and cool little corners of it in a similar way as my own. His photos of his day to day life caught my eye and I felt an odd connection with another person who saw life in pictures and words....simple pictures and words.
I don't remember how we first spoke, mostly through funny banter and an occasional message about our day? I don't remember the first time I noticed his comments, but upon looking back, it must have been about 2 years. 2 years. That is a long time for chit chat. The friendship was inevitably going to change one way or another.
........tbc
Write ya later
m