Snowangels? or Snowdevils?

you decide:

it started yesterday...the snow!!!  the only problem is ...its cold, 9 degrees.  

Yowza.

The wolfdog, Eddie, loves it,

Daddy hates it,

 and I'm just fine sitting in here knitting.

it's been a mild mild winter so this we needed

it's so pretty....

really it is.

The Centers of My World

I have two kids.

I have a daughter you know as Olive.

The center of the world, or so we pretend....She is sassy, bossy, loud and did I mention bossy?

She tells us what to do, she tells us when she will do it (if ever), and how it should be done.

It starts the minute her eyes pop open in the morning to the minute they close at night.

Her force directs our families orbits, all of us....Especially the 14 year old.  His orbit is forced to follow her pull and it is often tortuous to witness.
I have a secret...

He is my center. 

I look at him and my heart fills with all the good gooey things Mom's feel.

We have gone through so many things together. 

He kept me grounded when I wanted to die.

He made me get up, by default, when I could only lay in bed and cry.

Death, divorce,love, hate and childbirth...

that kid was there.

An old soul,

Strength and wisdom packaged with tears and smiles, and sometimes vomit in my purse.

I secretly keep this all to myself.  I cherish him like no other.

I try not to pick sides, although it is so very hard.

I hear them argue and the rationale only a 6 year old can bring. 

He often tries to comply, but there is no winning....even if you do give in, you still lose.

He has learned this, I stay silent with my discipline in hopes the lesson will be quick.

He is strong, yet compared to her, he has to be weak...

because her pull is so forceful.

There is no winning.

except in my heart

he is the center of my world.

thank you friends and family

:))))))

Here's my pile:

Pink Helmet for Motorcycle I never ride

Pink glitter stars to put on Motorcycle I never ride (in hopes I will ride because it looks girlier)

Patti Smith Book (Yessss)

Stitch markers for knitting ( didn't even know what they were because I always use washers from Bobby's tool bench)

Big ol Lip Smackers  :)

So awesome hand made Jean Rug from Paulette at Queen of the Trailer Park

Hand Knit Neck Warmer from Synda at Synda Rorex Photography

Movado Watch from Bobby...(??? never wear watches but I'll start now)

Knit Picks knitting needles

Vintage Knits book so that I can apparently knit my own smocks

Skull Lil bag.

Eddie got a bunch of bones and a new man dog studded collar (leather)

Olive got everything under the sun...including this years fav:

a pillow pet shaped like a unicorn

she got these cool Ghoul School Barbie like dolls that I like

and some adorable sushi earrings.

Ilin got this cool thing from

Cyanide Stitches

along with awesome DJ ear thingies

and a flip camera

All and all it was nice, now my type A personality is having a breakdown because I am out of dish detergent and there is wrapping paper all over the house and the recycle bin is full.

AARGGGHH

xo

m

It's almost Santa's Birthday!!!!

YahOOooOOOooo

Frown as you might, but I didn't have the heart to tell her that is not really how the story goes.  ABC Family has taught her otherwise with 24 hours of Fred Clause.

That kid...

Cracks me UP!

Don't you love those glasses she found in the box downstairs? Like a lil ol Jewish Lady celebrating Santa!

Thank you Mrs Mint Julep

For the new setup!

I couldn't quite figure out how to get the thing centered so it ended up BIG...But I LOOOOVE it.  

kiss kiss

dog park disaster

I have bad luck at the dog park...Remember this fiasco?  I left the little dog . That was bad, funny when I look back, but baaaad.

Well yesterday, not so dramatic, but kinda bad too.

We go to this really popular dog park and it is the land of Golden Retrievers and Labs.  They all just run around chasing balls,wrestling and occasionally humping one another.  It's dog heaven.  It's not really dog heaven for the owners.  We constantly have to pick up dog poop, which often is like searching for Easter Eggs, watch our kneecaps for fear of getting pummeled by the dumb Labradors, and make sure the little dogs are not being tormented by the big dogs.  It's actually work.

Yesterday brought it to a whole new level.  As I sat in the golden warm sun of Ski Country (did I tell you we are experiencing Global Warming in Colorado?...it was 70 here yesterday!) I was relaxing...watching the parachuters fall from the sky from the little airport next door.  Daydreaming about jumping (another story). I usually just let Eddie run and play.  He's the dog park bestie.  He plays with everyone.  As I glanced up, shaded my eyes to look where he was...this is what I saw:

Ok...get it?  The person wasn't laying down, he was standing up...but Ed just lifted his leg and peed right down the back of his pants.  Here's the clincher....the guy didn't even notice, so I pretended not to notice...after all, I was a half a dog park away.  

Except it was pretty obvious what happened, unless he peed on himself backwards.  

I panicked, then I chuckled to myself...then I whistled for Ed and we left.

End of story.

have a nice day.

360 days of my life 342?

off to try to gather from holiday spirit and thought decorating my mug would help.

It did, for a minute of two.

Whats on the agenda today?

gonna get outta this house and bust a move.

finish my holiday wrapping....

Boycott any more purchases

Finish up the few gifts I have made this year.

(can't post pics because they may see)

Get my Gown for the Ball hemmed

(there is no Ball, but I have a dress and I'm going to wear it even if it is to sleep in)

possibly whip up a batch of cookies?

we will see we will see.

xo m

FML

After tossing and turning all night, thinking about things I have no control over, I finally fall asleep at 630 am.  Awesome.  Except I have to be up by 7.  Olive wouldn't get outta bed, then fought me every inch of the way, from eating breakfast to putting shoes on. 

Went out to start my car...

Nothing.

dead battery.

One of the kids left the door ajar for 2 days.

We had to "run" if you can call it that with a 6 year old and a 5 pound backpack.

got my 1 mile cardio in.

FML.

I hate Mondays

countdown to Xmas...need a gift?

You should try 

Regretsy

I'm thinking you can't really go wrong for that hard to buy for person there.

just go look, take your time...

Vagina gift?

they got it...

Bones...

they got it...

Darn this one sold///click for the site

Scroll onto this link for 

Jewelery

serpant ??? necklace...I think it looks like shit.

let me know if you get anything...

I don't want to get you something you all ready have

360 days of my life....340ish?

I know...there's a shadow across her face, but that was not the focus...see that big hole?

that's the focus!   

One more thing...you know how crappy a parent I am?  

Well, the damn tooth-fairy fell asleep, really asleep...

and that huge tooth was still neatly tucked in the tooth box under Olive's pillow last night.

I had to make excuses for that damn Fairy...

just so you know, I didn't tell Olive the fairy was drunk...

I said she must have been confused.

Plain and simple...Man's Work

I believe there are a few things that should just unconditionally be Man's Work.  I have a laundry list (no pun intended ) of things I just can't stand doing, and NOT because I can't do it, but because, they just should...period, they should!

Here's my short list:

Emissions testing for car...I hate anything you have to pull up in a certain spot and stop, then get out of your safety zone.

Liquor store...no matter how nice it is, it's still ghetto and woman should not be wandering up and down the Jack Daniel's row alone. Nobody cares you are looking for a good 18$ bottle of wine, you still look like a cheap whore to the men buying 40's.

Cleaning the Gutters...I really don't need to say anything here.

Xmas lights ...fall into gutter category....roof top/ladder...Plus, I'm smart, so when I have to hang the Xmas lights (which I shouldn't be doing) I clean the gutters;  I'm a woman and I can multi-task ~snap~

Car Maintenance...here is what happens, you go for an oil change which should be 25$, like the coupon says, and you come home with a new transmission, you get the 5th degree from the man, which sounds like this,

"WTF?  Just tell them you want an Effin Oil Change, my Effin God , you can't do anything right!...what the Hell???, I should have done it myself!"     

uhhhhh  exactly, it's man's work....you should have done it !

( at least we have a new tranny)

There are many other things I'm sure we could come up with...

Oh here's one:

Initiate sex once in a while you lazy bastards, I have needs too. so step it up.

You may have been in your prime at 18-21, but I'm in my prime now.

So unless we plan on purchasing one of those 18-21 year old guys at the Oil Change Place...you better figure it out.

With that said:

Today, I went and got the emissions done, liquor store, and I've all ready hung the Xmas lights and cleaned the gutters.

Now I have to go to Home Depot and buy extension cords.

WTF? 

hmmm

and I'm sure I'll still have to cook dinner.

"I Love You Snowman" by Olive 6 years old

We are constantly looking for things for Olive to do...Ballet, acting, baseball, soccer...

anything to help her develop her 

little self.

You know what?  I think she might all ready have a talent we should be encouraging a bit more.

Last night while we made dinner

she made this:

(and in PEN!)

Art by Olive  6 years old

The models

Angelina and Johnny?

What do ya think...

another notch for her dance card?

I bet so.

Let's just refresh her dance card:

(this is a limited list)

Ethan Hawke (while married to Uma)  "Taking Lives"

Mick Jagger (while married to Jerry Hall)  music video "Anybody Seen My Baby?"

Ralph Fiennes...mmmmm

Lenny Kravitz (I'm sure he was dating somebody!)  music video "Stand by my Woman" 

Brad Pitt (while married to ...that friends chick)  "Mr. and Mrs Smith"

Billy Bob Thronton (while married/dating Laura Dern)  "Pushing Tin"

Here's what John John says:

"JOHNNY Depp doesn’t want the world to see him get intimate with Angelina Jolie!

According to a new report, the actor — who raises two children with partner Vanessa Paradis — asked for an explicit scene in his and Jolie’s new movie The Tourist to be left out of the final cut.

The scene — which shows Johnny and Angelina writhe together in a shower — caused Vanessa distress.

“She put pressure on Johnny and finally he said he wanted the shower scene out,” a source said."

does he want this?

Vanessa Paradis (even though she has a porn name, not sure she can compete with AJ)

insert here  ....

Poor poor Vanessa, I would be distressed too.  I mean, you know, Angelina doesn't have great history with staying away from married men.  If I was Vanessa I'd be getting that Prenup stuff in order...oh yeah, Johnny's not married!  Maybe there is no prenup...
You know what they say, Vanessa...2 in the hand is better than one in the nest...even if it is a pirate from the Caribbean with a really big "sword".

because you just never know who that pirate may want to stick that Sword into.

Words for thought.

xoxox
m

Retro Living Room Redo....

They came and did the carpet...

here's the first part

We moved up some of the old furniture so we can start getting set up for the holidays....

You know, before the 6 year old packs her Hobo bag and leaves. 

We are required to get that Tree up this weekend, so we thought we better just make do

and save the fancy decorating for after the holidays.

 we brought the retro couch over and the retro coffee table, leaving room for the tree by the windows.  The marble table was my mom's and we will probably repaint the base to make it a bit more modern.

The walls definitely need painting and artwork, but that will have to wait

I do love the retro look, but we need to make it a bit homeyier (sp?)  It will get there.

They took the good carpet and put it in the guest room downstairs.  so that looks better and less at the landfill, right?

I have to work all this weekend so I have to leave Mr. ICU in charge.  

The 13year old helped me drag the couches up and down 3 flights of stairs, so he is retired at this point by his own request, but Bobby has plenty of energy to tinker about.

The next thing is picking out fabric for that chair I tore apart, and recovering pillows...

then...for all my super retro Rockabilly Gals, I'll be posting all my old dresses on Ebay in time for the weekender...

Gotta run

Gotta work.

Redesign the Living Room

I have shown this room multiple times but its time has come.  The carpet is coming so we are starting before and afters. This is the room as we are moving stuff out....It usually looks a bit nicer than this!  hahahaha  The room is a long L shaped room...the L part being the dining/bar area which you can see is Orange.  That part is fine.  Its the  Living room we are trying to figure out.

The couches are will be moved.  The rounded one will head to the basement until I can afford to recover it...the dog ate the corner off of it...But it is still a great couch with good composition so it is not leaving the house.  The other 60's straight couch will be come our primary couch until we can figure out what we need.  There will be a flat screen TV on the wall where the star clock is and then we have decided possibly to section the room into 2 seating areas.  Window and fireplace  I would like to paint but haven't decided on that yet.

Any links to any reasonable ideas would be great.  

thanks you guys!

Rabbit, Rabbit

all ready December 1 and I am just waiting for something to happen.  Bobby is still not home and the carpet people are coming.  Yikes.  I have to move the furniture!  I'm going to start today piece by piece and try to drag some of it down the stairs without banging up to many walls.  The oven broke inbetween all of the ICU hoopla, so my niece brought this gigantic microwave.  I was thankful, until this morning when I turned it on and could feel my kitchen full of radiation!  seriously those things are weird and if you quit using them for a while you can really tell.  

I have applied for more jobs, I figure I'll just keep sending my resume out until people are sick of hearing from me and give me an interview.  Right?  right.

Well...I better get to cleaning, if Bobby is coming home I want it to not look like I just walked in the door every night he was gone and fell on the floor and wept for forgiveness...I mean I didnt really do that, well, not every night...one night I got drunk.

icy bed

It's weird how I always enjoyed sleeping in the middle of the bed when Bobby was gone.  Last night was a little different.  I had gone up earlier and turned my side of the heating blanket on, like always, and he turns his on, so that when we get in it's nice and cozy.

I washed my face, crawled quietly into bed, slid my leg over and his side was

Ice Cold.

Freezing..

Empty...

strange, but I didn't reach over and turn his on...I just scooted way over to my side, pulled all the pillows around me like a cave and fell asleep.

He is breathing a bit better but they say he cannot come home yet due to his respiratory status.  A few more days they say...a few more days....

then the new issues begin.  

He liked the new doctor, a pulmonologist.

The dr looked him in the eye and said, "I will accept you as a patient, but the minute you don't do what I ask of you, you are out."

~~~good, I thought~~~

Maybe this will help him see that being able to breathe is actually quite a big deal which many people take for granted.

With out breath, there is no life...it's the beginning and the end of it all.

Like I told him and some of my friends:

"this is not how he is supposed to die, he screws up all my plans!!!

The plan was; I would strangle him with a guitar cord in a fit of rage after he purchased another damn Marshall Amp!!!"

Not from an asthma attack...

Not by his own doing...

if anyone is going to die...it better be because I was pissed!

I take back my angry eyes

Bobby is in icu

How does it happen?

You know, I try to be compassionate, loving,and such but I guess I just can't!  I'm a bitch.  Really.  I woke up this morning in a foul mood even though yesterday I kept it together quite nicely.

I was put on call for Wednesday night so I didn't have really any stress for Thanksgiving, which was quite nice.  A friend from the hubs work emailed and wanted to know if we could join them at their parents house.  Great!  That sounds fun. Eat with them Tday, then cook ours the next day.  It will be nice to be around family, even if its not ours.  

As luck would have it, and every other Thanksgiving or Christmas, Bobby was "sick".  It's a common theme around here.  He will never admit it but I believe it might be psychosomatic.

More Holidays than not, he is sick with a cold or runny nose or cough or flu.  

So, yesterday, he stayed in bed until 11am.  I made him call his friend and say we couldn't come over.  He stated that maybe he would be better later....hahahahahaha

As the day went on.  I did notice he was a bit too sick to actually help me with anything, but he appeared to be able to drink cocktails and talk on the phone.  So as my mood stayed up, because I swore I would be  nice, I could feel it boiling below the surface.  Olive helped me with the Thanksgiving meal.  You know we had to go through the normal hoopla of making that huge bird for Bobby, who only eats white meat, and I end up trying to figure out how to utilize the rest for the next week...we made our tofurky...and we watched daddy hobble around sniffling.  We made it through dinner and Olive and I stayed up to watch all the holiday specials and daddy went to bed.

Last night,here's where my foul mood quadrupled....Olives alarm clock went off at midnight, because she is trying to stop wetting the bed at night.  The issue is she doesn't hear it, I do, so I have to get up and yell and scream for her to go potty.  Bobby snorkled in his own snot all night keeping me awake with his snoring and turkey farts.  This morning at 430 am Eddie, the dog, got up and started doing crazy ass laps up and down the stairs  until I threatened to lock him in with Olive.  

I got maybe 18 minutes of sleep.

now everyone is going to pay.

Damn this holiday.

Ok, thanks for letting me vent...I'm sure it is going to get better.

I'll go read everyone else's blogs about how awesome their families are, and how they set the tables with designer dishes and hand blow glasses that they did their selves while breastfeeding their cherubic, non vomiting infant.  

Enjoy your day

love 

m

thankful

I'm thankful the lady we just took the plate of food to around the corner didn't scoff in our face.  We weren't sure if she had any family.

We Were right...

she was home alone...

Olive with the big ol Bird for just Daddy

Turkey for Dad

Tofurky for us

Not bad, not bad

design for living room = stress

I don't know.  Synda says to search everything for what I like.  I have not a clue what I like.  I like...I like...I WOULD like it to be done by someone who knows what they like.  Which obviously isn't me.  Here's the criteria:  huge long room with big stone white fireplace, kids, dog, corner windows, and just too much...It's very 1960's, which I DO like.

I need to take some pictures.

Maybe send some to Design Sponge?

I want to keep the 60's feel with a modern approach (hmmm that sounded so designerish didn't it?)

I told Bobby it would be easier to throw everything out and start again....but i don't know where I would start.!!!!

ARGGGGHHHH

on another note: got some knitting started and one finished :)

 this is the start of the  

Through the Woods, or While They Play (something like that) pattern

don't ask me what happened to his mouth...but he's cute

Saved Huge..How exciting!

So, today I took the time to do my couponmom.com .

I find clipping coupons the easiest part of the so called grocery game, the hardest part keeping track of everything!  I have been clipping the coupons from the Sunday paper for about 3 weeks now.  Only clipping the ones I may actually use, like avoiding 6 different kids of pillsbury biscuits.

Then you head over to coupon mom.  Pick your store and click on the ones you will use.  It kinda puts together a little grocery list. I avoid picking anything that won's save me over 35%, unless I really need it.  I also had an entire bunch of Holiday coupons from Safeway they sent me in the mail....NEVER underestimate the mail flier.  It had a 10$ off with card on entire purchase and a bunch of FREE things (taco shells, ketchup, mixed salad;etc)

I made my list and headed to Safeway.  It's a total pain in the ass.  Coupons flopping everywhere, nothing is ever in order, you have to read everything....You almost need a coupon desk that would hook onto the shopping cart.  (brilliant idea for anyone so inspired)

Took me about an hour.  BUT:

my total bill was about $113.00 then after all the stupid coupons and the discounts...I saved $52.52!!!  Read it and weep!

Thanksgiving, non thanks

Thanksgiving... It's right around the corner. 

 I am probably one of the few, but I hate it.

It's not because I'm vegetarian, or because I'm not a big sports person, it's because we have no real family here.  Coming from a HUGE family when I was younger to moving as far away as possible has been a bit of a strain.

I chose my path so it's ok...I'm just saying, it's a start of the Holidays and all the things that it could be, but really isn't.

We have our own traditions and we make do...

but it can never make up for when I was a kid and waiting for my brothers to come home...or to see what my Aunts had brought...or better yet the gobs of nieces, nephews,cousins, and such that showed up for the day of festivities.

I don't remember all the arguing my now older family is often involved in, but I'm sure it was there.  I only remember the greatness of November.  The tag football, the trampoline jumping, and the late evening kick the can.

It is now eerily quiet.

A trip to the Zoo.

A turkey for one.

A late afternoon movie

followed by bed.

Yo Gabba...Rocks, check it!

Olive has all ready discovered the Yo Gabba Gabba Vans and has demanded Santa bring them for Xmas.  I too, have demanded a pair for Xmas, but they don't come in my size!

(you know I sent Vans a scathing email!)

They are just tooooo cool for school.

Angelina, If you ever get sick of Brad...

You can always just do Rob Lowe...

To me, I can barely tell the difference.

 I hate it when people ripoff my style, but this is too much.  

I guess Californication couldn't get Brad, so they got Rob instead, and made do.

I've heard Brad is stinky, anyways.

Rather be digging ditches

You know, life is too short to be wasting time yelling and rushing around, but there is, honestly, something about mornings at my house that make it HELL.  Bobby gets up and leaves before anyone even stirs. We sleep in, well, sleep til 655 am.  School starts at 8 am for the older and 820 for the younger which , feasibly, gives us plenty of time, especially since the school is within walking distance.

But NooOOOoooOO.

Here's how a relaxing morning at the Graves house begins.

Multiple alarm clocks, which are poorly set going off, starting at 645 am, snooze button hit by 6 year old after yelling from brother and mom to turn the damn thing off! (She has the worst alarm clock, it sounds like a bull horn and she usually sleeps through it).

Then: the race for the shower.  I usually win, but sometimes the teen wins, which means I have to wait, because our house is not happy with 2 showers running at once.

This makes me bitchy. (are you surprised?)

This means I have to get dressed instead of just meandering nakedly to my bathroom.

Dressed...down to start the short order cook station.

Down comes Crankmaster, aka Olive.

"Here's your Oatmeal" Plop.

"is this Banana and Cream?" 

"Yes, Olive"....wait for it, wait for it...

"I SAID>>>>>> I don't like the Bananas and CREAAAAAMMMM it tastes like nothing!!!"

(i am going to kill you, whispered in my head)

"Olive, you picked this out...so you are going to eat it"

Then the tears and then the slowest eating in your life with lots of gagging and gasping.

Down comes the teen, who although he just showered, still smells like Teen Spirit. (What the hell is that weird odor? if anyone knows please tell me.)

"Hey, Kid, did you wash in there, you know with the soap and stuff?"

"yeah..."

"Clean clothes?"

"yeah"...

Ok never mind, maybe they all smell like that...kinda BOish with a mix of sweet and sour.

"Make sure you put on some of that fancy Ol Spice would ya?, just in case someone gets within 2 feet of your aura."

I make lunches,because my kids are veggies and Olive likes to announce when I say, "Olive its Meatless Monday at school...you know the ONE meatless day a week...started probably just for you?"

'I KNOOOOOW, but MOM  they give my 3 pieces of yukky cheese on white bread, they don't even give me a piece of lettuce or tomato! ...OR MAYO. It's gross."  

"Did you tell them, Olive?"

"Yes, they don't speak English"

great...I doubt that, but whatever...I'll make you your gourmet sandwich and then you can shut the ....up!  (with a smile)

At this point the teen is surfing facebook, because he is ready...waiting, quietly, knowing to just watch out, because the Tasmanian Devil usually lets lose right around know.

Olive..lets get a move on, you got 8 minutes for hair, teeth, socks, shoes, and jackets...its snowing.

"I KNOWWWWW!"

ok then GO.

saunter, saunter.

Teen says, "Mom, she's doing it on purpose."

is she really smart enough? 

little shit, she is doing it on purpose.  I can feel my blood pressure rising.  

OLIVE...Lets go!!!

now we have 4 minutes and I still have to get them in the car.

Teen starts car, best part of the day for him I'm sure. 

I try to stay calm....I do, really.

Olive, screw the teeth get some shoes on.

She comes down with strappy sandles.

WTF?

"Olive, Its's SNOWING!"

so...

Please, grab some socks and your boots, and your jacket and your hat and your gloves and your backpack and your flippin lunch.

"HONK HONNNNK"

I start scrambling,grabbing, and clutching, slapping a hat on her uncombed head because I am no longer in control.  I probably never was in control, hence the problem.

"OWWW, my head...!!!"

Olive, Please, just go...please.

"I AMMM!"

finally in the car.

We drive to drop the teen off, then zip around the corner to elementary school.

I can smell Olive's nasty breath from the front seat.  
The dog is trying to tongue kiss her, it smells good to him at least.

Her hair is balled up on one side.

She is wearing her brother's jacket which is totally pissing her off. (she outgrew hers)

and she has no mittens.

"Where are your mittens?"

"I don't know...gone"

great.

I take a deep breath and tell her what any mom on the verge of a break down would tell their child to do.

"go in that school, go straight to the lost and found, and pick yourself out some fancy mittens, if anyone says anything... play dumb"

"Mom, that's stealing..."

Olive GET out of the car!!! 

Get OUUUUT!!!!!!!!!

She hops out, slams the van door shut...
grunting and groaning...
takes about 5 steps then turns around and with a great big smile:

waves and blows a million kisses.

I can see her mouth the words "I love you".

She hops off with her balled up hair and stinky breath.

They are like dogs at that age, not a clue and forever faithful.

Thank god...

but to tell you the truth, I  think on mornings like this I would rather roll outta bed and go dig ditches.

Well, maybe not.

Quick Fix Candlestix :Urban Outfitters Faux

Oh what a can of Spray Paint can do!.

I've had these things since we moved in 5 years ago.

they have potential but are just too Ugly

 Ugly, not even anything close to cool, except for their actual "make-up"

Washed, sat out to dry, then went to work....

Poof...Purple Spray Paint in a nice flat color 

So easy and so rewarding.  

Now just like Urban Outfitters minus the 75$

They match my Shag print perfectly, now to do the frames I have been stockpiling.

 On a side note:

I forgot to post this from Halloween, Synda and me, assuming the position on Halloween; beer, masks, scary noise, and candy.

my first Merino

reminded me of fall grass...so I got it...no help from anyone.

We just got back from the Boulder County Hand Weaver's Guild and I was not impressed.

First of all, no one would help me, and I would be more vocal about it, but I feel like maybe I should be nice.  I'll say this, a bunch of old bittys.  Was it because I wasn't wearing my fancy felted shoes, or one of those ugly old lady vests?  Whatever.  I still bought this...It was 25$ (is that too much, I don't even know)  I honestly don't even know what to do with the stuff, except say I have it.

I ask one of the ladies if I could snap a picture of all her beautiful packages of fluffy unspun yarn...

She looked at me and said , NO.

I said it is for my blog I'll list your website and you know it's like free advertisement.

No...I'm an artisan, I don't want people copying my dye lots.

Yea yea ya old twat.

So when I got home I went straight to Ravelry to renew my faith in knitting and such...

Shew, thank god there are cool people there.

so here's my new yarn, I'm not telling you the store or the website of where it came.

Now...you guys got any ideas of what I can do with 4 oz of Merino?

love ya...

out to reseed the yard

Alice in Wonderland Wristlets

So, I got this cute pattern off of Ravelry, from VO knits (which I love)...i gotta add her to my blog roll.

Anyway, I did them on some crappy acrylic that was leftover, just to see how they would come out.  Well they still need the buttons, but they are really cute.  One small problem, I ran out of the cream color for the tattered lace part.  That little string laying there on the wristlet is all I have left and I believe this was just some crap I picked up at a yardsale in a plastic bag.  I really need to get in the habit of keeping all the lot #'s or something.  That way at least I can google it and see if I can find some more.  This crap was just balled up in a ball.  I'll ask around and see if I can find some at the Hobby Lobby in the crapola bin.

These were super easy and quick, only clincher is you need about 4 different size needles in progressively larger sizes.  I just kind of winged it.

They are supposed to look tattered, madhatter, lacy look.

Perfect for a quick gift to someone who would appreciate hand knit coolieos.

(Note:  never give knitted objects to people who don't like original stuff, they will throw it in the washer, or never wear it...two big knitting NO-NO's)

I would also like to report that Ilin is better today. 

He ate a fried egg sammy and gatorade; sat in the sun and then went to his dad's house.

You see, as the lesser parent (in his mind) I only get him when he feels bad.

Dad gets fun Ilin, I get sick homework Ilin

I'm off tonight, I'm going to start another tiny knitting gift( trying to get rid of some of my acrylic stash)

then hit the hay.

Gotta work Saturday night and Sunday night

write ya later

have a great weekend!

Only as Strong as...

When I think of you I remember laughter. 

I remember bee stings and lady bugs, music and books.  Things that are no longer a part of my real life.  The first touches of real love, for me.  Giving me the knowledge to love and live, to think myself beautiful.  
You sang to me in front of people and looked only at me.
 Allowing me to feel love, no matter how long it took. You ran to me instead of away, spoke loudly and made me listen until I knew you would not leave.

It comes and goes, why can't it stay? 

20 years it has been and I still think about it.

It was not all ladybugs and Jane's Addiction. 
You scorned me and my heart broke. 
Bukowski became my reading. 
My heart learned quickly that nothing lasts, people are only as strong as their weakest point.  My weakest point would never be weak again. It was my heart.  You vanished, I ran away, leaving bits and pieces in an ugly trail of life lessons.  

People came.  People went, but I never believed in love again. I could not believe. I ruined lives, often including my own.

My heart gave in... Life seemed good, yet good was not good enough.  I was not good enough.  So, I closed my eyes and remembered...
Weakest point, weakest point. 
I need strength.
A strength that cannot come from me, my heart, or my past.  

I need belief or to be able to believe to grasp hold just so that i may let go.

Lessons continue to be taught in manners I choose not to acknowledge. Strength in strength from within and from what cannot be controlled.  Knowing it should work out in the end.
But,oh, what my head wouldn't give to tell my heart to let go, and be.

That feeling,
 that flutter,
the thought that it will never be felt again;
broken.

360 days of my life # 265 sickieepoo

the funk has arrived at our house and as usual the scrawniest one gets it first.  

The Victim:  Ilin Blue: 

13.5 yrs old

77#

5'1"

He is being plagued by the stomach yuk.  Fever,barfing chills and such.  He ate last night then tossed and turned in agony, afraid to puke.

I would take a broken leg in five places before I chose a night of nausea.

I'm guessing this is the beginning of our cold season and unfortunately it always starts with Ilin because he travels the weekends to his Dad's house...(that is what I blame it on)

So as Ilin lays in bed,clutching his RugRats pillow, I am anti-bacterializing everything in the house.  I am praying that Bobby does not get it, because he is a horrible sick person, and crossing my fingers little Miss Olive doesn't get it because I absolutely hate seeing her puke.

Off to play house nurse now.

write ya later

fabulous find

I treated myself to this little wax melter for self waxing!

It was $19.99 at Sally and the pot of Hard Wax was 6.99

the total cost is less than it costs to get my lip chin and eyebrows done!!!

today I waxed, dyed the sparkly grey from my hair and am now going to make lasagna for dinner.

what a day...I feel like a new person.

I love my little waxy thing.

Also, I need to find a writing class, I'm bored with my idle hands and diary writing.  I need a memoir, or a story... a real life story

To live

Embrace me

I have been thinking 

Love has no boundaries

Entangled legs, nose to nose,

breath to breath

whispers,

"It's going to be ok, I'm right here,

I'll never let go"