Oh No You Did Not

I'm a nurse

I get it, y'all are irritated with us and everything that is going on in your bubble of a world....

Covid

Masks

Low staffed restaurants

Seriously...

we are doing our godamn bests...

so it makes no sense for people to be dicks to us or anyone in the medical field right now.

Zip...

Zero...

Nadda...

After 2.5 years you KNOW you need to don a mask...

and yes you can put your classy

"This mask does nothing"

mask on and I may shake my head...

but you know...

in your self centered head...

 you need to put it on to get service...

here, at restaurants, hospitals, clinics, Target, Walmart 

all of it...

and

If ya pull your mask down to sneeze or cough in my face, 

Yes I am going to say something.

If you throw your ID and attitude at the young girl checking you in ....

You can be sure she is going to come back, tell me, and I'm gonna remember

yeah...I am

So, get your shit together and be nice to us.

You get to go home and take your mask off and cop an attitude at home and tell everyone what bitches us nurses are...

and we just keep smiling and reminding you to get a booster, wash your filthy hands, and wear a mask if you need to stand in line at the bottom of the Vail Chair Lift on a Saturday with 30k other people.

and yes this is Vail last weekend 

so tell me none of these people

got Covid

Think about it

xo,

m

Rather be digging ditches

You know, life is too short to be wasting time yelling and rushing around, but there is, honestly, something about mornings at my house that make it HELL.  Bobby gets up and leaves before anyone even stirs. We sleep in, well, sleep til 655 am.  School starts at 8 am for the older and 820 for the younger which , feasibly, gives us plenty of time, especially since the school is within walking distance.

But NooOOOoooOO.

Here's how a relaxing morning at the Graves house begins.

Multiple alarm clocks, which are poorly set going off, starting at 645 am, snooze button hit by 6 year old after yelling from brother and mom to turn the damn thing off! (She has the worst alarm clock, it sounds like a bull horn and she usually sleeps through it).

Then: the race for the shower.  I usually win, but sometimes the teen wins, which means I have to wait, because our house is not happy with 2 showers running at once.

This makes me bitchy. (are you surprised?)

This means I have to get dressed instead of just meandering nakedly to my bathroom.

Dressed...down to start the short order cook station.

Down comes Crankmaster, aka Olive.

"Here's your Oatmeal" Plop.

"is this Banana and Cream?" 

"Yes, Olive"....wait for it, wait for it...

"I SAID>>>>>> I don't like the Bananas and CREAAAAAMMMM it tastes like nothing!!!"

(i am going to kill you, whispered in my head)

"Olive, you picked this out...so you are going to eat it"

Then the tears and then the slowest eating in your life with lots of gagging and gasping.

Down comes the teen, who although he just showered, still smells like Teen Spirit. (What the hell is that weird odor? if anyone knows please tell me.)

"Hey, Kid, did you wash in there, you know with the soap and stuff?"

"yeah..."

"Clean clothes?"

"yeah"...

Ok never mind, maybe they all smell like that...kinda BOish with a mix of sweet and sour.

"Make sure you put on some of that fancy Ol Spice would ya?, just in case someone gets within 2 feet of your aura."

I make lunches,because my kids are veggies and Olive likes to announce when I say, "Olive its Meatless Monday at school...you know the ONE meatless day a week...started probably just for you?"

'I KNOOOOOW, but MOM  they give my 3 pieces of yukky cheese on white bread, they don't even give me a piece of lettuce or tomato! ...OR MAYO. It's gross."  

"Did you tell them, Olive?"

"Yes, they don't speak English"

great...I doubt that, but whatever...I'll make you your gourmet sandwich and then you can shut the ....up!  (with a smile)

At this point the teen is surfing facebook, because he is ready...waiting, quietly, knowing to just watch out, because the Tasmanian Devil usually lets lose right around know.

Olive..lets get a move on, you got 8 minutes for hair, teeth, socks, shoes, and jackets...its snowing.

"I KNOWWWWW!"

ok then GO.

saunter, saunter.

Teen says, "Mom, she's doing it on purpose."

is she really smart enough? 

little shit, she is doing it on purpose.  I can feel my blood pressure rising.  

OLIVE...Lets go!!!

now we have 4 minutes and I still have to get them in the car.

Teen starts car, best part of the day for him I'm sure. 

I try to stay calm....I do, really.

Olive, screw the teeth get some shoes on.

She comes down with strappy sandles.

WTF?

"Olive, Its's SNOWING!"

so...

Please, grab some socks and your boots, and your jacket and your hat and your gloves and your backpack and your flippin lunch.

"HONK HONNNNK"

I start scrambling,grabbing, and clutching, slapping a hat on her uncombed head because I am no longer in control.  I probably never was in control, hence the problem.

"OWWW, my head...!!!"

Olive, Please, just go...please.

"I AMMM!"

finally in the car.

We drive to drop the teen off, then zip around the corner to elementary school.

I can smell Olive's nasty breath from the front seat.  
The dog is trying to tongue kiss her, it smells good to him at least.

Her hair is balled up on one side.

She is wearing her brother's jacket which is totally pissing her off. (she outgrew hers)

and she has no mittens.

"Where are your mittens?"

"I don't know...gone"

great.

I take a deep breath and tell her what any mom on the verge of a break down would tell their child to do.

"go in that school, go straight to the lost and found, and pick yourself out some fancy mittens, if anyone says anything... play dumb"

"Mom, that's stealing..."

Olive GET out of the car!!! 

Get OUUUUT!!!!!!!!!

She hops out, slams the van door shut...
grunting and groaning...
takes about 5 steps then turns around and with a great big smile:

waves and blows a million kisses.

I can see her mouth the words "I love you".

She hops off with her balled up hair and stinky breath.

They are like dogs at that age, not a clue and forever faithful.

Thank god...

but to tell you the truth, I  think on mornings like this I would rather roll outta bed and go dig ditches.

Well, maybe not.

can't sleep

morning time...my favorite. This morning I thought it would be much better if I could have slept in. But no chance. I got Bobby up at 430 am then tried my hardest to cover my head with blankets and pillows and go back to sleep, but nada.

I got up and worked out my arms with Jackie (dvd), had some coffee, and thought about running....I came to my senses at the running idea.

Classes are going ok. Just super time consuming. The 2 people who sit behind me work at my hospital on Ortho Nueuro as LPN's doing actual floor work. They told me to go talk to their Director, they are always short staffed. So, I emailed her from work and she said to come see her today. She needs someone to work nights. My friends tell me nights are awesome. More pay, great time to learn and less hectic....so why do I get so scared of everything. I mean the goal is to become a nurse right? BINGO...Everyone fears a bit of change, so I'm hoping the anxiety is normal...but I would love to be able to take a floor job, learn the ropes, and be able to walk into an RN job when I graduate. After Saturday at the Long Term Care place, I'm just not sure how much longer I can do that job. I had 28 residents!!!!! That is like babysitting,feeding,caregiving etc,etc for 28 preschoolers and infants combined...I'll give you a moment to picture it in your head....

see what I mean? plus there was a death, it was before my shift, but he was still in the bed waiting for the mortuary for the first part of my shift.

So night time shifts....7p to 7a...vampire hours. Does any one work them? Any suggestions? The good thing is 3 shifts and it is full time.

Today...behavior health clinicals. Well tonight. I work at the hospital doing my regular job until 3pm then I go up to the locked ward and work from 3p to 11p...the cuckoos nest. I'll let ya now how it goes.