broken nose and a WTF

I kept wondering why she was pacing back and forth. 

I glanced out of the corner of my eye and she was walking back and forth and in circles. 

Thats not like her, I thought.

As the realtor and I were finishing our discussion I heard K yell,

"Olive, holy shit...OLIVE!!!!"

As I turned she was wobbling and went face first into a tree by the edge of the driveway, 

then into a pile of  large landscape rocks.

seizure.

I yelled,"call 911" over and over again 

until I could hear the realtor giving a clear address and saying Olive's age and the situation.

Kevin was trying to turn her over, but I knew we should not move her too much, so I pushed him away and carefully flipped her 

and held her head as she screamed a primal weird scream....

her eyes looking at nothing, but everything.  

It only lasted about 10 seconds, but seemed longer.

I cradled her head and made sure she could not move it.  

I felt her nose gently....

broken for sure.

I looked at her ears,

no blood yet.

the egg all ready forming on her forehead.

The next several hours were spent at the emergency room....

standard scans and blood work.

I texted her dad before I even left the area it happened.

K...came in, 

then we decided he should leave so that when dad came he could come in with no issue.

Covid and the ER keeps people from having visitors, but because Olive was under 16...both parents or care givers, are allowed.

As K left Olive cried.

She asked me ....

"did you text dad?

why isn't he coming or texting"

He must be busy and not have his phone....

you know he would be here.....

One hour, two hours, 3 hours.....

still no answer.

"mom ....why isn't dad coming?"

well...as we were finishing our paper work....

he texted....I told her this....

"He called...He didn't have is phone...he isn't near home so he can't get back....he loves you....and is worried."

but what he really said to me...

"WTF?....I'm not near home.....and Where were YOU when this happened???

(standing next to her)

Hmmmmmmmm

sure.....makes me wonder what the fuck is going on over there"

he didn't ask how she was, or that he was going to hurry home to see if she is ok...

or....let me talk to her ....

wow that is really scary.

he said .......

Hmmmmmmm 

and questioned the situation.

my heart broke...

broke because this is not who I was with...

or was it?

It broke because I cannot and will not be able to continue to explain and cover

It broke for Olive.

She's tucked into bed with a broken nose, a concussion and a huge lump on her head.

I'm checking on her continuously ....

the dog at her side.

I want her to know I Love her so much

we all do.....

but today....

I feel different

not my love for her....

but my hope....

for love

write ya later

m

my gland is killing me

 holy hell,

I have an infected Parotid Gland....

It hurt....

really bad....

then I went to the ENT doctor, now I think I am going to die.

they mashed and pushed on it and said,

Yup

inflammation of the Parotid Salivary Gland

now I'm at home and am wishing it was a limb amputation

(joking) 

but shit it hurts

stupid Salivary gland

aka

adult mumps,

write ya later

Offer Smoffer

 lord have mercy.   I am so done with all of this,   I do realize I am a nurse and it is not appropriate for me to express this....but I wanna see live music, hug a stranger, go to the damn bar and sit at the bar instead of the parking lot.........

but....

whatever.

It has been quite comical living in this tiny space.  I am living with about 3 outfits, 25 pairs of shoes (because I couldn't leave my shoes) and one shared bathroom.   

Im thankful that Kevin has let us in....made room for us and said he will take care of us.  ( don't need anyone to take care of us, but it is divine and lovely and makes my heart happy to know he is there).

I have heard from my lawyer that the "ex" is going to accept the offer.   

THE OFFER.

hahahahahahahahahahaha

Smart on his part.

Of course he is going to win....he doesn't need to deal with me, who he despised, he gets the house and most of everything I have worked for and saved .

(note to people.....if you marry up....never have your own shit or investments...that way if you split you can half of theirs regardless of your input)

to the other half. 

get a prenuptial

Anyways, we will discuss that later. But sooner the divorce is finalized the sooner I can actually live.

You all know that one cannot buy a house , car , change insurance, move....etc....without divorce papers.   It's one of the dickiest moves ever.  They know you are stuck....if you are on the short ghetto side of divorce....just refuse to sign the divorce papers and you can live for basically free until the court says you have to sign.    For me...I have to continue to pay for all of his shit until he signs.    But, I'm good.  I got an extra job and am maintaining mine, the kid's and apparently his lifestyle for now.  And Im actually not too angry.   Just more done.  Move the fuck on.   Let me go.

On the flip

I'm happy.   Kevin is everything I have wanted, and how this happened I have no idea and don't really want to question it.   I just know I deserve it, and so does he.   Coming home every day to a person who is honestly happy to see me is the best.  We laugh, touch, kiss and do things together.   So simple....laugh, kiss the cheek and touch their butt once in a while and you are in.

Hopefully soon this divorce will be done.  I will lose my forever home and most of the stuff ( this is what happens when you are the spouse with the most money and independence regardless of gender ...this is part of women's liberation I suppose) I lose the goods and money, but gain a life I deserve with people who want to be around me.  Maybe a move is in my future.   Denver? Florida? Nashville? Connecticut?  I don't know.   but it will be something.

xo,

write ya later,

m