A Password to Remember, or not.

How did we become so secretive? It's a strange thing to think about. Back in the day, the spouse would have a secret affair and actually have to plan it out to make it work. Cover their tracks, find a clandestine (you like that word?) hotel to meet. It was actually work. I'm sure just the mere thought of all that work kept some people honestly safe. Too lazy to even go out and get some on the side.

I like that.

Makes me feel safe. See, I am horribly insecure in my relationship, as you may have noticed from past posts. In many old relationships I was the last to know....and being the last to know is not just painfully idiotic and heart wounding, but also puts a nice big imprint on your frontal lobe which will never let you move past, sideways, or around a similar situation without fear. I'm like Pavlov's Dog. I remember...ouch...I remember.

The Internet, iPhones, Texting, Facebook, Craigslist, Ashley Madison...you name it, it has removed any sort of safety net within a relationship. A click of the phone and a naked picture can be sent (just for fun), or a little online back and forth chit chatting can make the mundane life at the office seem even worse. I have friends which you email or text and they send something back within , let's say, 2 minutes. To me, that suggests either they have absolutely nothing going on in their life, they are too occupied with the phone, or they are waiting for someone fabulous to text them and I happen to be stuck in the middle. It bothers me.



It bothers me that we all have our own "accounts". How many of you know your significant others passwords or accounts? I don't, and when I do, I check them...and usually find weird shit and think, that is exactly what I get for looking. I have one email account which I've had since computers were invented and this blogger account...he has my passwords. I have stopped using Myspace, can't figure out Twitter, I hardly use my cell phone, and I never chat...because I'm not to be trusted. I would chat with Charles Manson if he IM'd me. Seriously. I have no boundries, because things are too easy. All You have to do is IM me and say, "wow,I love your typing skills" and I'm hooked. Online affair at it's finest. If I'm that easy, I can only imagine how the men are. A few emails and naked picture, who could pass that up? Not any man I know. ( let me clear something up, when women send pictures, it's to get you to notice, when men send pictures to women...it's freaky. I don't want to see your flagpole in a 2 inch shot on my iPhone...it freaks me out)
I don't want to find myself in a predicament like John Edwards wife...."What? you have a love child?! How the hell do you have time for that? OHHHHHHHHH? you met her on Myspace, sent a few dirty pictures then met at the hotel across from the Pentagon??...The little colonial looking hotel? Wow, and I thought you were at work, campaigning across America. I know I have put on a bit of midsection weight, but a child?!! and she's 6 months old!? I have been fighting Cancer, I thought you loved me............you couldn't have waited 6 more months until I'm dead?

Yeah, sucks...it's a wee bit embarrassing. See, you don't need time and planning anymore. You just twitter a meeting spot or look up a "non prostitute" on Craigslist, how about a girl who will date you for a donation?...and you are done. No one needs to know the wiser, and how could they? They don't have your password.

The point being?

(no offense if either of these pictures are you)


Can someone please tell the point of Facebook? It's sillyass stupid.
Don't people realize that the pictures above are really what the person you are gagaing over actually look like? come on people...
At least Myspace you can look at every ones over exagerated profiles.
Maybe it's all just self masturbatory...

Look at me...I'm pretty, I have boobs, I play guitar....mmmm don't you wnat to be MY friend and send me dirty emails?
My favorite records are: blah blah blah...
Oh Yours too? we have so much in common.
We are soooooooo cool and pretty too.

stroke it baby stroke it.

i think it is quite stupid...
if people spent as much time as they did on facebook and myspace, just getting out of the house and talking to people the world would be a better place....well, maybe not.
I just find it hard to believe that people can spend the better part of a day playing a "be in my mafia" game and never once talk to a real person.

idiots


ps,if you can't tell...I'm PMSing...and I'm pissed

Sad but True

A few years ago, one of the young girls who worked in admissions with me said," I think I have a missed connection!" I said, "WHAT?"
She went on to explain to me about Craigslist "missed connections" and showed me the one she thought was hers :). Cute, and oh so addictive. It's a secret pleasure I have and although the hospital has blocked it I have figured out how to get around the firewall to still view it. I randomly click through them. Reading one to 'purdy gurl at Walmart' and then click the 'RE:' to see how perfect they will be together. I make up stories while I'm at work about how the 'couple who dance next to each other at Red Rocks' are now dating happily with a great story of how they met.

What is Wrong with ME!? Am I that pitiful or that romantic. Is it because, romance is gone and I'm always looking for the real romance of things. I mean this can't be it can it? People go through their days and then all of a sudden it hits them like a drunk driver...ROMANCE. I know, in my heart, this is what is going to happen to Bobby. One day he will wake up, be on his way to work and say...Damn...I'm lucky. His knees will get weak and he will want to turn around to find me and tell me.

Yeah...uh huh...this is what keeps me reading Missed Connections. Not to find mine, but to secretly help others find theirs. Fantasy at it's finest.

I met Bobby on Yahoo Groups....(remember Yahoo Groups, before myspace?) Sometimes I wonder if he was just trolling and ended up with me or was it romantic? We chatted a bit, called on the phone, then met in Vegas for the Rockabilly Weekender. Was it a connection? Yes...we are still here 7 years later...ups and downs...and the computer, one of the main arguments in our lives. (we both know what happens on the computer)

Anyways...check out the missed connections they are funny. I have been known to send them to people I know...a secret admirer thing, you know to make them feel good (they don't know it's me). I just say stuff like " To the girl on the HOP with the blue scarf, your eyes lit up my day...you are beautiful."

It makes people happy to know they were noticed. That's all. Doesn't it?

your resident weirdo
m

Thursday post...if easily offended, don't read

Sorry...  

There is  a difference between fucking someone and being fucked...it's a big difference with a  thin line/slippery slope, especially when you are dealing with women.  As I get older I see things that break my heart...in more ways than one.  Call me old, call me knowledgeable, call me cool.... I don't care, just listen....because it comes with age and most mothers, regardless of their knowledge, won't tell you this.

I'm not really sure if it comes with street smarts or with experience ....possibly age, but it came to me and I can't stand seeing my friends not understand it.   Here, let me try to explain.  Women need love...they need touch...they need more than a vibrator can give them.  They need knowledge, friendship, companions and good sex.  These things often come in a package.  If you are pretty,smart and cool...you usually have a good relationship, sex and love.  On the other hand if you have been burned, abused and become wary...you don't.  You search for love outside the norm...you search for touch...and physical contact.   When you are certain age, maybe you search for a fuck...get it out...feel wanted, needed......orgasmic.   Whatever the case you need it and you will get it wherever it shows itself.

fine...feel it, be it, do it...but there is a difference of power in this fuck and it makes me sad to see my friends not distinguish the difference.  When you need it and have low self esteem it's almost a power abuse thing.  They think they are being "loved,wanted and fucked" when really they are being used.   Try to explain this to someone who can't or won't understand...  They have the need to need but the not the need to rationalize.   As a woman, you can want it,need it and do it...but the minute...the MINUTE you give up the power...you are being fucked ...and not fucking.  (this is different when in a long term loving relationship)  When you are out, you need to have the power to say when, where, and if...  I have no issues with woman loving sex,loving having some strange...but you need to be in power of the decision...You say when...not take it when.

This is the difference between fucking and being fucked....and it's important. 

I barely can talk about this...it kills me, it hurts me to not help.  You know the woman...The cute underly dressed "good" girl who disappears at a party and reappears disheveled and then tells you later ..."he's going to call me tomorrow"..... Yea, he's going to call you... to suck his dick...or whatever you did last night...not to meet your family.

On the other hand, I respect woman who can say, yeah...I love it...and I'm single so why not?  We will have a nice dinner, there are rules, he will follow the rules and then we will have mad passionate sex and that's that.  Maybe I'll see him tomorrow...maybe not ,it's my choice...whatever... I have other things to think about.

Ladies, woman, be strong....be exquisite, stand up, take control, be sexy...but don't fuck for love....don't fuck because they want you...think...be in control.  people notice, people talk...come on...be the person you should be, be the person you can be.

Maybe i'm not the one to talk.  I don't fuck for love, but I want and need love.  I need to be loved and wanted.  Good Catholic upbringing keeps me from searching...but I'm still a woman...I'm still beautiful...I still need it...But I can be in control.

feeling blah

so, I decided to do some self portraits.

I don't like my looks...My mom was a beautiful showgirl with beauty you wouldn't believe...did I get that? NO...I look just like my dad. Freckled in the weird way, stringy hair and big nose. It's ok...after 38...am I 39?, after 38 years I have grown to live with it. My technique is: when I see a picture of me...I don't look...I save it and look next year, then it usually doesn't seem too bad. (I'm such a genius) Back to subject on hand. Before I go spend $$$ I don't have trying to make myself feel better...I'm thinking panties...I thought I would check out the new stuff on the "photobooth" on my imac...they are funny and when the kids and I do it we laugh and laugh...didn't quite work the same for myself , but as a bit of self loathing therapy I thought I would post them.

Myssi in Cinemascape, on the rollercoaster in her computer room

Myssi, appearing to be flying off the rollercoaster, but in the incorrect direction...stupid gravitational pull

Myssi, she has a great personality, so don't worry...she'll be fine

Myssi....with eybrows(because her hair is so light she has no eybrows or eyelashes)....a fancy mustache (takes away from the nose, you know redirects the eye),,,and a lovely flower.  

see the look on this guys face?  This is what I'm dealing with...He often has that look when I'm around.  Makes me , well, you can guess.

As my mom said, " myssi,You have a great personality and a brain to boot, who needs looks with that combo?"  

Well, Mom, too bad you couldn't live long enough to see how it all turned out.

T.M.I

Sorry about the last post, I'm sorry if I offended anyone....Synda pointed out that her Mom reads this post and BJ's are not ok. ;)
I removed it. I thought it was a pretty good honest post...Reality of my life...but i removed it

this is what I'm TALKIN about

When I take the time to go through my blog roll I'm saddened that I don't know these woman. It's my secret life. It's my voyeurism living wild. I took a few of my favorite quotes and put the links to the blogs and for me, this is what life is about. Different ages, different beauty, all very different lives, yet we all are connected. Some more so than others.
This is what I'm talkin' about.......

"It's amazing what a little (ok, a lot) Tanqueray will do to a newly single, relatively unstable girl. So, I went a little nuts. So what? It was the most fun I've had in a while. A real balls to the wall night out. I rocked out with my proverbial cock out."
Regardez Moi
That's my girl...Strap it on, and Rock it out!...

"rushing home to enjoy a rather nasty combination of Fresca and Jim Beam and later that night an andouille sausage po-boy."
Fly in My Mint Julep
Because Fresca, the refreshing citrus drink with no calories, isn't just for breakfast anymore.

"I live a block away from the city's own Grand Central Tranny, a hot bed of prostitution. Not only do I often get great compliments on my way to work (they LOVE my huge metallic gold, crystal and metal studded purse! Susannah hates it) but just the other day I was solicited! I’m 63 years old for chrissake."
Petunia Face's mom
For the woman I'm aspiring to be....her guest post was full of beautiful Drag Queens and Wisdom...just as it should be...and the quote above........ Because fuckin life doesn't end at 50 or 60, or really until you are in the ground, so let's live it! xoxox.

"Dear family,

I am not the maid.

Bite me.

Sincerely,
Wife/mom"

I like Yarn

enough said, family...i ditto that

So, there are many more, but if you live in my fantasy world of sex, drugs and proverbial cocks...all of this makes me laugh out loud, especially because life is what you make of it...and this makes for good life.

Write ya late

myssi

Oh Yes....Me Likey

found this at Apartment #34

I'm so going to do this, then I'll be hanging a picture of my secret Love where that other dude is.
xoxoxo

scott w...

Why can't the higher beings above just let me get a piece of this for a while? I don't ask for much, if anything...I just need this (see above, and think naked, in 400 thread count, and not hung over)
Maybe TMI...but I'm having one of those months...Everything that can go wrong does. My new "therapist" says I need to say what I want...so I'm saying it "I want that" I believe it could help.

Anyways...that wall is sexy...and if I can't have romance, sex or food (since I'm constantly trying to thin out) I'll take the wall.

Double Dong...

I don't know how I forgot to post this this morning, because it sure brightened my day.
I started my day by missing my bus by a minute. I swear the bus driver saw me and chose to drive off and make me wait another 15 minutes for the next bus....fine, it's Friday I can relax a bit. The bus finally came, so I picked a nice comfy seat with no stinky people around me and read. Very nice to just get to read for 45 minutes. Made it to the terminal, trucked it as fast as I could to the next bus and missed that one by about a half a block...oh screw it. I'll walk. It's nice out, it's only 2 miles and I could use the fresh air.
As I was enjoying the morning sun and Spring flowers I came to the point where I had to cross the street to get to the work place. There was something oddly familiar looking in the street, but yet I couldn't put my finger on it. My mind wrestled with the form of the object. Right there, smack dab in the middle of the street, crossing the middle yellow line my mind knew exactly what it was...yet I had to walk over to see if it really was what I thought.

hmmmm

Yup...Right there...a large, black, double ended dong. What a morning. My first thought was, "Shit, who would have dropped their huge ass dong here? Did it bounce out of the truck when they were moving? Was it in their back pack on it's way to an evening of fun when it slipped out?" Next thought in my head...that thing has to be $$$$ ; it's huge....they are going to be bummed.

How does someone lose that?

After I ate, I decided to tell the lady who works with me...maybe she would have insight as to how one loses a double headed dong? She didn't, but she did agree to walk across the street with me to see if it was still there. She grabbed her cigs and I grabbed my camera...perfect Blog material!
It was gone...I was sad....she looked under the parked cars for me and even tried to cheer me up by saying, "Maybe it went into the rain gutter....or Myssi, maybe someone came back for it." I looked at her, she looked at me and we busted up laughing....

yeah maybe someone came back for it....or better yet, maybe someone picked it up and took it home.

what a day.
m

unlocking your inner voyeur

I'm sure I've said this before, but I'll say it again,.......I'm a voyeur!!! I admit it! Sometimes I come to work, to do work,but instead I voyeur (if you can use this as a verb).

It usually starts quite innocently, then before you know it I have wasted 5 hours clicking thru blogs from people in Ecuador or Japan. I can't control myself when the little button at the top of the screen says "next blog". (go try it when you are done reading this) I look at other people's art projects, their poetry, pictures, family rants, even accidentally came across someones Kama Sutra how to pictures...note: be prepared to click quickly if you are at work, you never know what the next page holds, there is NO warnings.

I have always been like this, interested in others lives or secrets. I gave one of my secrets to a girl at work one day when she was really down in the dumps.

I said," you know what will cheer you up?"
She reluctantly said ,"What?"
"Go here, www.bch.org and click on the nursery page....
pick any day, any name and look...i swear to God you won't be able to do just one, unless there truely is something wrong with you....and if that's the case, call me back; I'll think of something else."

Well, about 25 minutes later she called me from her desk and when I picked up the phone, this is what I got

"I truely hate you."
"I have work to do and now I can't quit smiling or clicking to look at every day and every god awful outfit they subject these wee ones to!"

I know, it's minute, but it does make me happy...and my secret gang of baby spies....I actually got a call from the same girl yesterday when she knew I was having a bad day, she said ,

"I think the nursery is BROKE!!!!!" I can't get IN!!!!!"

Which of course made ME stop doing my work and head to the secret website to see if I could get in....thank god we figured it out and spent the next 40 minutes clicking thru February.

Now that is a true friend. Truely....

It goes on, I'm sure if I didn't think someone would know, I would try to click into peoples private lives. I have always wanted to look at the Tommy Lee/Pam Anderson video...but what if I can't stop? So I don't look at that type of stuff....not because I don't want to, but because I would be trying to see what they had for furniture, what was on their book shelf, what type of drinks they are drinking....you know the normal stuff.

I love that people like this http://needleworksinc.blogspot.com/ take the time to take pictures and post them....just for me...isn't it pretty?

Well, if you come across and nice voyeur topics...send them my way.
back to work.

xo
m