Reason 2008...

Not to have kids....You don't get to go to New Year's Parties, unless your friends have kids and are in the "loop". Our friends are having the "New Year's Eve Party of All Time" this year at their house. cool...love it...except it's an "adult party" which does not mean, everyone is dressed or undressed performing acts of S&M to ring in 2009, but means....NO KIDS. Whatever. I swore to myself at one point that I would never do that to my friends. (I do draw the line with dogs who grab things off the tables or pee in the corner at my house)...but kids, (even though I'm not a big fan)...Bring em...Have a cocktail, we'll put the kids downstairs with the stacks of DVD's and bowls of popcorn, containers of legos , and YOU my Friends...can relax....so, once again this year I'll be ringing in the New Year with my cheap bottle of bubbly, probably somewhere around 945...maybe that is when Japan rings in theirs and then hit the hay...just so I can get up and work again tomorrow. Wah Wah Wah. Screw it.

off the subject a bit...
Yesterday I got an email from Bobby ....
"wanna go to CA. for the weekend of the 17th?"

Holy shit?! Really...did he remember my birthday? He's actually going to take me somewhere, and he apparently has planned it, too. I wonder if my friends are in on this? I need a few days off so bad I can taste it. How awesome is this? What will we do with the kids and dogs?...who cares I'm sure he's thought it thru. My 40th birthday...He's going to bring it this time. I will be able to feel like a rockstar, getting on the redeye to fly into LA, party with old friends and head home on Sunday. YESSSS! As I start dreaming about it I email him back and say that sounds great...Sissy is coming the 20th...but the 17th is the weekend before right? How are we getting there. then I wait. I wait half the day for a reply, thinking he must be getting his ducks in a row. Then the emails come, one after the other...

"Well, I was thinking we could fly...but is that too much $$$?" ( I don't know,you should be planning it)

"Yeah the NAMM show is that weekend, I haven't been in years" ( What the Fuck? the NAMM show?...what about my 40th birthday? (for all of you not familiar, the NAMM show is a weekend convention which is equivalant to a Star Trek convention except it's for Guitar Nerds so you can only imagine) You MUST be joking? )
This is when my balloon burst. I should have known...He wasn't taking ME to CA. He needed to ask if he could go and figured that would be the right way to do it. My emails stopped at that point, either he had a moment of clarity, which I highly doubt, or thought he would let me think about it. When I got home I said, Really? the NAMM show? Why are you asking me to go, you don't want me to go...you want to take Olive and me to the NAMM Show? I have an idea, how about you fly yourself to the NAMM Show and enjoy yourself with your friends and I'll see ya next week. "Ok" he says..".sounds good, you sure it's ok if I fly?" whatever...Although just a wee bit in the back of my mind I think...I should say, you know what...WE do want to go...I think that would be great...We'll hang with ya all day at the NAMM show and make sure it's good and FUN for you...No, I wouldn't really do that....but I did think about it. So, for my 40th birthday week I get to lay around while he enjoys himself in Sunny CA.
Welcome 2009 Maybe things are going to change.
xo
m

Knitting under the influence

I walked in the door last night, a bit late but not bad, I did have to stop and feed a friend's cat, so not too late. "How are you?" I feel fine, I guess. I'm tired. I didn't sleep last night....my mind races when I'm sleeping. I often wake with a start, like the feeling when you have overslept the alarm. "I dreamt I could never potty train Olive and she had to go to college still in Pullups, then I chopped Ilin's head off for not cleaning his room and in the midst of all of that I was trying to take my NCLEX, but couldn't remember anything....so besides that , I'm fine" I popped open a beer. "Yeah, but how's the anxiety?" ........Oh yeah, that.
You see this Saturday I woke up fine. I actually had a pretty good sleep, no worries, just sleep. When I woke I felt a bit dizzy and my knees were a bit weak. Odd, but I am almost 40. I took a shower and could barely stand upright...and then a bit of tingling started in my arms....my chest hurts, right in the middle. "Bobby, I feel weird." "What do you mean weird?" "I feel like my chest is doing something weird...I can't breathe right"
I got out of the shower and just kind of tried to suck it up. I'm fine...I'm fine...about a an hour later we were sitting at the carwash waiting in line. "Bobby, I need you to take me to urgent care...I'm having a heart attack or something...I don't know...I feel,... not right." "Can we do the carwash first?" "I guess...just get me to the Urgent Care as soon as we are done"
By the time we got around the corner to the urgent care my head waas spinning, I was shaking like a leaf, I couldn't breathe and I really thought I was a goner.
They got me to the back hooked me up to the EKG...ran some tests and let me rest. The Dr. came back and asked me a few questions and then handed me a prescription for Xanax, told me to follow up with my Primary, and try to figure out what triggers it. "you mean I'm fine?" yup...Panic attack. Just realize you aren't going to die from it...that is the first step.

Well, that was pretty anti climatic, which is good I guess. We left, went to the mall and finished my day.
When I got home last night...the flutters in my chest were there again. Bobby wanted to eat Sushi so I drank my beer, said my "I'm not going to die" mantra in the back of my head and went to the Sushi place. I ordered a wine...relaxed, thought about the thin line between whack job and normal...the line I now appear to be wavering on. My life is normal, I'm busy, I do things, but my head races. Full of things I should do or haven't done....thoughts of cleaning base boards in the bathroom as I sit here and drink my wine....It's not normal....or is it? It's like having sex and thinking of the laundry that needs to be done...normal, yet not normal.
I ordered a saki..."How's the anxiety?" Stop IT...I'm fine...it's normal. Maybe I just need a few more lists, or a vacation or something. But in the back of my mind I know that I'm the person on the vacation who is fine the first day then starts thinking that I have only 5 more days of vacation...4 more days of vacation, 3 more days of vacation, gosh in 2 days we have to go back to crappy work... and how relaxing is that...maybe it's normal
Just let it go...breathe...I'm not gonna die, I'm not gonna die, I'm not gonna die....Xanax won't let me.

Just in case you weren't familiar:

• Palpitations, pounding heart, or fast heart rate
• Sweating
• Trembling and shaking
• Sensations of shortness of breath or smothering
• Feelings of choking
• Chest pain or discomfort
• Nausea or abdominal distress
• Feeling dizzy, unsteady, lightheaded, or faint
• Derealization (feelings of unreality) or depersonalization (being detached from oneself)
• Fear of losing control or going crazy
• Fear of dying
• Paresthesias (numbness or tingling sensations)
• Chills or hot flashes

Dun with Diamond Dave

my family is going through a VanHalen phase.
It's because of Booby (term of endearment)...
he loves to think he should have been in the band...except for the fact he wasn't a VH brother. He does play as well...
so, if you are a fan of Diamond Dave...take few minutes
smile, relax, enjoy the season

http://www.thetyser.com/


Pre holiday Bitchy is going through my office at an amazing pace...
Someone up front just yelled "FUCKING IDIOTS" (sounded like Napolean Dynamite)
and then threw the phone.
I've just been hiding at my desk avoiding all things fattening
and meditating with Diamond Dave

Eco Wrap anyone?

So this year I made a decision to not buy any more wrapping paper. I will use up what I have but instead of buying such a horribly wasteful item I put my little brain to work.
Here are a few things we came up with.
First and foremost : 100% recycled Kraftpaper.
I got it for $1.88 a roll for 50 ft at Walmart. (1.88!~!!!!!!)

I can recycle it with the paper with no guilt.
Olive has been coloring some....we did some stamps on some ...and we bowed them with left over yarn. Perfect

The second one we used: Olive's Coloring Book pages She had to willingly donate the pages then we taped them together and wrapped. She had some of those gigantic coloring pages, those were perfect.

Newspaper is good. although I don't get the paper, we got some from the neighbors.

Remember to save giftbags for reuse, and all the cards. We cut the cards for gift tags.

I found that you can actually save about 27$ dollars by not buying any new stuff....Yes I priced it out using Target wrapping paper prices ... 27$ is not much, but it bought 1 small Lego set (Bionicle) and 2 little puzzles, and a 10 starbucks gift card. See?

have you done it?

Swiped from Hazeljoy

Things you've already done: bold
Things you want to do: italicize
Things you haven't done and don't want to - leave in plain font

1. started your own blog
2. slept under the stars
3. played in a band (I'm guessing marching band counts)
4. visited hawaii
5. watched a meteor shower
6. given more than you can afford to charity ...
7. been to disneyland/world Both! love this goofy place
8. climbed a mountain
9. held a praying mantis ...
10. sang a solo ...
11. bungee jumped ... ha ha ha
12. visited paris ... oh please...i soooo want to...actually i would rather go to Japan
13. watched a lightning storm at sea ... grew up in Destin,Fl...did my share of fishing
14. taught yourself an art from scratch
15. adopted a child
16. had food poisoning
17. walked to the top of the statue of liberty ... the good old days when you could walk the circular stairs right up to the torch
18. grown your own vegetables
19. seen the mona lisa in france ...
20. slept on an overnight train
21. had a pillow fight
22. hitch hiked ... i probably shouldn't admit it
23. taken a sick day when you’re not ill ... heehee
24. built a snow fort
25. held a lamb ... my first pet was a lamb named Irwin
26. gone skinny dipping ...ahhhhh
27. run a marathon ...does a 5k count? I've been doing those
28. ridden a gondola in venice....I'm guessing Vegas doesn't count
29. seen a total eclipse
30. watched a sunrise or sunset ... both
31. hit a home run ... by default, they missed it..grounder
32. been on a cruise ...
33. seen niagara falls in person
34. visited the birthplace of your ancestors ...
35. seen an amish community ...
36. taught yourself a new language yes but not fluent
37. had enough money to be truly satisfied...it's not much money, but I'm satisfied
38. seen the leaning tower of pisa in person ...
39. gone rock climbing ...Lord, I live in Boulder
40. seen michelangelo's david in person ... once again...Vegas doesn't count?
41. sung karaoke ... I sing horribly all the time.
42. seen old faithful geyser erupt
43. bought a stranger a meal in a restaurant ... her credit card was denied...I've done it at the grocery too
44. visited africa ...
45. walked on a beach by moonlight...
46. been transported in an ambulance ...
47. had your portrait painted ... ask anyone who's been to my house about the scary floating child Myssi in the basement...life sized
48. gone deep sea fishing
49. seen the sistene chapel in person
50. been to the top of the eiffel tower in paris ...
51. gone scuba diving or snorkelling ...
52. kissed in the rain
53. played in the mud ...all the time
54. gone to a drive-in theatre ...yuppers
55. been in a movie ...I was on the Bozo show and Sesame Street Live
56. visited the great wall of china
57. started a business ...Goat Girl Soaps
58. taken a martial arts class
59. visited russia
60. served at a soup kitchen
61. sold girl scout cookies. i buy the hell out of them
62. gone whale watching
63. gotten flowers for no reason...I hope best friends count
64. donated blood
65. gone sky diving
66. visited a nazi concentration camp
67. bounced a check....shhhhhh
68. flown in a helicopter ... pukey
69. saved a favorite childhood toy ... i save too much
70. visited the lincoln memorial
71. eaten caviar ...
72. pieced a quilt, but not finished
73. stood in times square ...
74. toured the everglades ...grew up in FL...so not only toured them played in them...
75. been fired from a job...dishwasher at age 15...I told the Chef he was a flaming Asshole
76. seen the changing of the guard in london ...
77. broken a bone...finger and toe
78. been on a speeding motorcycle ...
79. seen the grand canyon in person
80. published a book
81. visited the vatican
82. bought a brand new car
83. walked in jerusalem
84. had your picture in the newspaper ...
85. read the entire bible .. I was raised Catholic...enough said
86. visited the white house
87. killed and prepared an animal for eating ... i am a vegetarian!...yup...hence the reason I'm vegetarian
88. had chickenpox ...
89. saved someone’s life..not yet...
90. sat on a jury
91. met someone famous -
92. joined a book club..but all they did was talk about getting laid...i swear I was the only one who read the book
93. lost a loved one...too many
94. had a baby ...too many
95. seen the alamo in person. and ya know what? there's no basement
96. swum in the great salt lake.
97. been involved in a law suit
98. owned a cell phone
99. been stung by a bee...stupid bees

I've done more than I thought

SnB Pleasantries!!!

What a happy evening. Last night I reluctantly got out of the house to go see Bobby play at the Bluebird. I got home late from work, didnt even have time to change my clothes from work. Just put on some different shoes and grabbed my knitting bag (because you just never know) and hopped in the car. "Load in is at 6!!!!" He yells. I yell back , as I'm changing shoes..."Load is at 6 my ass...we will rush around like chickens with our heads cut off, get there promptly at 6 then stand around waiting for the hippies to do their sound check....it's a big scam!"
But, Bobby, being the prompt person that he is never likes to be late so we left anyways and what happened? just guess...we get there...the ripe hippies do their sound checks then they turn to Bobby and say "18 Wheeler doesn't get a sound check ...just line check" I turn and glare at Bobby...but I didn't say " SEE!!!!!" So we got the group together and headed across the street to the Goose to have a few beers and my favorite yummy nachos. Lalalaaaaaaa...walk across the street, open the door, look to the right and Effin A!!! Girls KNITTING!!! think think think think...SNB...Cool SNB...Denver SNB, not Longmont SNB (no offense)...but Tattoos...beer...Smiles!!! One of the girls (Moxieknits) looks over and points and says "HEY, I know you...Well, I know him and you are her...HI!!!!" (this does not make any sense to anyone except her and me and anyone who has ever only known someone via the web...) I jumped for joy and ran over and gave her a probably unwanted hug, but Hell...that's the kind of freak I am I was so excited I couldn't contain myself :).... Then I realized...I don't know these people, they don't know me and I probably shouldnt bother them....so what did I do, you ask? I pulled up a chair and started yapping. What a ding a ling I am...whatever. I had fun...I enjoyed what little of them I got to know and hope to see them again....

Synda, you would have loved it...it was like coming home.

We made it home after Bobby played by 1115, which is perfect and my night was over.
Fun Full and Satisfied.

yippee..

crafty wafty

The other night Synda, the kids, a bottle of wine, a 12 pack of microbrew,me and a billion bottlecaps all came together in a beautiful way.

Ilin made Bionicle ones for his locker.  I put mine in tins...ready for someones lucky fridge

we made bottle cap magnets and although I couldn't quite get a good picture, they were awesome!!   The ones right above are of Amy and Blake...you know, heroin sheek.

I got to giggling so hard Synda had to put down her "fancy arts and crafts" to come on over to the trashy side and do bottle caps.

We did 6 degrees of seperation:  Brad P, Angelina, Jen, which lead us to Oprah, Dr. Phil ,Tom Cruise and Katie, all neatly placed in a tin.

A little glue, a splash of glitter and damn!...you have art fit for sale.

I made a Bin Laden magnet and Synda made an Obama magnet.  We couldn't find Bush...but we will, and he too will be hung out to dry in a bottle cap with glitter and glue.

Sydna found old Brittany S and let her live the rest of her life in a bottle cap placed on a barrett and then found Justin T, snatched his picture away from Jennifer B, and placed him in a bottle cap so that B and J could be together again, because as Synda pointed out we all really just want Brittany to get back together with JT.  So there you have it, Brittany Spears and Justin Timberlake glittered out hair clips!

I guess what we need to do is do an artsy fartsy gift swap so we can unload some of this junk on other people who will appreciate at it as much as I do.  I was thinking as I made them....now THIS is a gift.  This isn't some coffee cup off the shelf at Target...this has thought, time, love, laughs and best of all,GLITTER!

We had so much fun.  We Must do it again before the holidays.

Now is anyone up for some Bottlecap magnets...maybe I should do a giveaway?

so, it happened

photo by sweeetkiki on flikr

Yesterday I had a breakdown. A blubbering,snot pouring breakdown. I'm not sure what's going on, but I do recall people saying, "be prepared for when you are done...people get depressed."

Odd..but it appears to be truth, along with the fact it's the holiday season, -14 degrees here, and I can't seem to get my head organized. It's weird how when I had absolutely no time to even take a crap I could have my entire week planned down to the minute....right now I can barely get myself to work.

I made it to work this morning after navigating the iceskating rink of a road and appeared to, once again, be the first person to work. That's fine...I'm an early riser, but I had a feeling about today. My boss started in yesterday about how she feels like she is getting a sinus infection. As she is telling me this, I glance over at the little calendar I keep beside my desk with everyone's schedule....AH Ha! Yup...what does she think I was born yesterday? Schedule has her off for 5 day starting Thurs...so, I guess she feels like she needs an extra day off or two and the easiest way to get it is to just call in sick. Next, I get the email from my office job share person. She won't be in again today. Her days don't start for vacation until the 24th....so can't really explain it, except that she was out yesterday and if you are out of work for 3 days in a row you get to use this bank of special "sick reserve days" to cover your pay, oppossed to using your vacation days. So, the way I see it, I'll be working by myself until the first of the year. I hate work. On a good note, if they aren't here I can turn the radio on to bad holiday music, do my stomach crunches on the "workout balls" we sit on and eat whatever I want at my desk without feeling guilty. On a crappy note, I have to do ALL the work myself.
The office is a strange dynamic and it goes in waves. It seems like my coworkers attempt all this work when they think they are going to recieve something in return...once the holiday bonus came out the work stopped, people got sick, and nothing is getting done. I actually had one coworker come in yesterday and wandered about the office, ordered a few things from purchasing, decorated the windows, announced it was lunch time then went home. Lord, and we wonder why people get laid off.

I have some things to post from our arts and crafts night...but my computer from 1992 can't load anything from 1995 or later here at work. i'm not fluent in DOS so we will have to wait until I get home.

long lost blogger...making myssi happy

I'm not much of a blogger, forgive me. Myssi was making me feel guilty about never blogging so here I am. I have been making mittens for my daughter's advent calendar, dressing my sexy husband up as Santa (isn't he the cutest santa!) and painting my living room.

funny

I listen to this all day long....I don't really even hear it anymore, but last night when Synda was over...she heard it.  

It can be quite noisy...it can be quite nice...ususally it's noisy

He's funny...he can play anything...I love him.

Graduation

Tonight is the last set of clinicals.  I'm not sure if I should be ecstatic or sad.  Here's my list of things to get done...starting Thursday:

1. Clean all bathrooms...really clean them, because even I am grossed out

2. Buy case of wine...self explanatory

3.Vacuum all 3 levels of the house...including the steps.

4.Make a few meals.

5. Drink case of wine...

6. Clean out closet and drawers

7. relax

Girl with a Curl

There was a little girl who had a little curl

Right in the middle of her forehead;

When she was good, she was very, very good,

And when she was bad she was horrid.

I'm embarrassed

Why?
I ran into the Apple store a few days ago to pick up a few things. I love this store for this one reason. You open the big glass doors and there is a non threatening smiling Apple Elf waiting to help you. This is exactly what I encountered as I opened the doors. A nice young man says, "HI! What can I help you with ?" I tell him EXACTLY what I want and he smiles and says,"No Problem, Chance will help you with that", and he points down the overly lit row to a nice looking young Rasta with big beads around his neck...who immediately smiles and waves to me. It's like iAngels directing these guys around. I trot over to him and he repeats what I want and I tell him that's it. No upsell, nothing...sweet....i love it. BUT what does happen is the unusual case of small talk I'm not used to.
I'm a talker and pride myself in talking to anyone at anytime, but when this young man says to me," hey did you know there is still pirates?" I gave it a quick thought and kind of said, "yeah, but I don't do that...my other half is a musician." I began to sweat that weird sweat, uncomfortable sweat. He had that look on his face like "Sister, what are you yappin about?"

(???? Pirates...like this?...think think)

I smiled...
"No...Pirates in Somalia." he says.
Oh...yeah Somalia...uh huh, fumble for something intelligent, even though I listened to NPR this morning and probably could recite the entire show about Pirates.

I don't like my Apple people to talk to me. It throws me off. I always prejudge myself and get thrown a loop when someone actually talks intelligently to me. I do a George Costanza..."you talking to me? (good looking young man? about something real?)" Lord.

"oh yeah, I listened to that this morning...Pretty cool how they hold whatever for ransom and then get what they want." (stupid thing to say, myssi...that IS what pirates do....that is why they call it Pirating)
He smiles..."I like Pirates..." (now that is what I'm talking about, that is what I expect to come from my Apple guy)
"Yeah, I like them too... Maybe we need shirts that say 'I support Pirates.....in Somalia' "
He smiled, handed me my stuff and said...."I like that. You're cool."

Shew...Close one, I almost couldn't pull it off....you know being almost 40, talking to some hip youngster about NPR and almost sounding like Bono. Jeesus. Thank god I made it outta there before I pitted out my "EAT MORE GREENS" T-shirt.

I really shouldn't prejudge everyone...what they may say and the fact that, hey, some youngsters may actually speak to me, not like their mom...it always throws me.

I've been out sewn!!!!

(You can click it to see the fine handi-work up close...along with dog hair)

Ilin Blue has started sewing these little dolls. Damn him! Look how cute!  This little guy is from "Little Big Planet"...He's a little ragtag because Ilin was toting him around everywhere as he was sewing him.  Synda and I think he should start his own Etsy site

Ilin looked at a picture, made a pattern with paper (so that he can make another), cut him out and hand stitched him together.  There are a few weird spots but all in all...pretty good.  Check out the tongue  :) He even put cardboard circles in the bottom of his feet so that he can stand.

Here's the original little guy from the game.

NEW FAVORITE CRAFTY WAFTY

Miss Cindy Lou at "Skip to My Lou" has fun easy crafts you can do.
Some for Xmas/ holidays...whatever....
party stuff and cute things to do with little ones.

also a build your birdhouse! how fun is that?

I'm inviting Synda over so that we can have a nice crafty day...take a break and relax.
I hope she comes...does anyone else want to come? Email if so.

Mac...whose got one?

So, I have a Mac...and I looooove it, but I really haven't had time to sit down and play with it. I've loaded my iTunes, but haven't really figured out how to organize them, have messed around with the iPhotobooth....but other than that...nothing but surf the net.

Yesterday I lost all my WORD documents somehow, so I've decided to go get iWork. Does anyone have it? I have heard it's compatable with WORD and the publishing thing is better than most.

also, what cool thing can I do on my mac? any suggestions?

Snow...it keeps a fallin

So, this morning I put my right foot followed by my left foot onto the bus at 7:10 am and arrived to put my arse into my desk chair at exactly 9:44 am....that was to go 14 miles :) yes...you heard me...14 miles.

What that means? It means tomorrow I will get up, move faster and get the 622 am bus. It also means that it officially Winter. People get confused, forget about snow driving then slide all over the place. It's ok....it's just par for the course. I got an entire neck warmer knitted.

I haven't posted much lately. I'm tired. My brain is fried and I'm almost done with school. Graduation/pinning is Dec. 13. So, I'm just taking it easy, relaxing and trying to get into the holiday spirit.

I hope everyone is well.
write ya soon
m

Stitch n Bitch

Tonight Synda and I venture out of the normal confines of comfort and will be heading to the Boulder "Stitch n Bitch" at Purl Cafe. It's always an adventure for us, especially heading into Boulder. I know for a fact the Denver chapter is full of cool punk rock types....but Boulder? hmmmm
The People's Republic of Boulder can often be a little weird and let's say "hippified".
Whatever, I'm always up for meeting new people and Synda is always, mostly, willing to tag with me to giggle and roll her eyes.
We'll let you know.

banned

It appears Ilin's public school has banned Lord of the Flies.

It should be a crime to ban books.

To me, it's like the TV or radio...if you don't like it don't, look, listen or read it.

Jeez, it was mandatory reading when I was in 7th grade.

What a shame....

Monday and 4 hours and counting

dI've decided to attempt 4 10's this week. A full 40 hours at the hospital. In order to do this I have to get in early, because I start falling asleep at 445 pm and secondly, it's miserably longer than any normal 10 hours. So, I'm sitting here listening to Pandora Radio, rockin out to Journey and Joan Jett and lazily looking out the window. I actually still have work to do, but can't keep focused.

The other day I primed my pump to head up to the floor to do the crap part of my job. I had worn a nice outfit, slapped my badge on and even applied some lipstick. All papers in order, I take a deep breath and do the "slap, slap, knuckles" with my partner and say "go get em and good luck...meet ya back here in 10". Off I go.
First room....lady sleeping. One down 4 more to go. ( I have a policy of not waking old people).
Room #2 ....tap tap tap...."Mr Young and good looking, may I come in?" No answer, so I do what I have to do and go in.
"Hi, Mr Myagegoodlooking, My name is Myssi. I'm a financial counselor here at the hospital and I came to talk to you about your insurance."
pause...He barely looks at me and starts...
"Where the fuck is my doctor? I want to go home, I don't know what is going on, some jackass who barely spoke English was just here asking for my insurance card ...I all ready gave to some one else...you incomptant idiots! (hey that's redundant asshole) find my doctor, nurse, or I'm leaving"
hmmmm okie dokie.....I see him look at me, finally...I'm standing there with my clipboard,trying to look sympathetic....he looks me up and down, then looks away.
He glances back at me...""Myssi? right?, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, I just want to know what's going on...let's start over ok? Go back outside and knock again"
I waited a second for the next round, but decided he was serious, so I turned on my heels, when back out the door, shut it quietly and knocked again.
tap tap tap...
"come in"
"Hi, Mr myagegoodlookingguywhoisnowanassholeinmybook,My name is myssi and I just came to talk to you about your insurance. I wanted to tell you that I know you couldn't speak when you came into the hospital, but I was able to find your insurance information, I have called them and let them know you are here and did all the notification for you...." :)
" Thanks, Myssi.....You guys are pretty persistant around here"
I smile and tell him, I realize it sucks to be in here. My job makes it suck for me to be in here too...But the good thing is...his deductable and out of pocket max has been met and he does not owe us anything for his inpatient hospital stay.
He smiles and says, "I'm really sorry, thanks for letting us start over, your job must be worse than me being here"
I tell him it's not always bad, sometimes I can help...he's one of the lucky people. He has inurance :)

I don't talk alot about what I do for a living. I'm the person who you see on medical shows that comes into the room and tells the patient's family they need to pay a trillion dollars before they can go home. I'm the money collector while you are sick in bed. People say I'm good at it. I care. I help people not be scared when they don't have the money. I find a way to get them help...if possible....it's not always possible.
I'm also the one who walks into the ICU when your family member is on their deathbed and tell you Everything on the financial end. Usually these people call me. They are scared and have no idea how much a bed in the ICU cost (3864$/nght) and what should they do. i take care of it for them. Sometimes they cry, then I cry....then I say here's my card....worry about this (the patient) we can deal with the rest later. Sometimes the person is homeless, or is a street kid. I get them free (charity) insurance, and then make sure they have clean clothes when they leave. I always ask them what size they are....then I head to the closet in my office and pull out whatever I can find in the clothes we have collected and bring them clean stuff, right down to underwear. I try to find clothes that might fit their need and look. it's the least I can do.

When I'm on my way home from my shift that always seems 3 times longer than it is, sometimes I just zone and pout. Life is so unfair for some people. People shouldn't have to wait for their limb to be falling off before they come in to the hospital. They just shouldn't.

Tomorrow is another day and it will be another set of copays I have to collect. I'll have to hear how people can't buy anything for their kids if I take their money, it's holiday time...(so usually I don't take it).

it's just a job right...breathe...someone has to do it...and at least I can finish my day thinking I care, and I'm truley sorry.

Manic, OCD, and a drunk...all in one weekend

It started earlier this week.  I knew that after my long shifts at work then to clinicals (530 am-1030PM) I was done with school for the week.  One of the nurses at clinicals asked me,"How do you feel, you know, with school almost over and a new journey about to begin?"  Hmmmmmm  Not sure...I try not to think too far ahead.  She says to me," I always would get depressed."  

Thursday morning it hit me.  She's right!...I'm depressed.  What will I do with all my time?  I have to get a new job...Completely new, something I've never done before.  It's not like waiting tables or answering phones, nursing is new.  School is over in 18 days and a year and a half (actually 4 years since I began the entire process) and that's it.  

I decided that I would start my vacation week of no school with my Synda.  I left work early to hit a yarn shop with the girls and then the wine shop and hang out.  The little ones played and we sat and drank, and drank, and gossiped, and drank some more, had pizza, knitted poorly (had to rip it out the next day) then at 1045 pm Synda says, "Uhhh, we did NOT drink 2 bottles of wine did we?"  Yes m'am it appears so.  Yikes and i have to drive 20 miles home.  I gathered my kid, knitting and stacks of magazines on loan from Synda and headed home and thought how the wine only takes away the boredom until the headache sets in which is approximately 7 hours later for me.  I didn't let that stop me.  I sat my goals for the weekend and Saturday morning I started to try to avoid the depression.

(Click for bigger pics)

First...I went shopping then made Spanikopita

Next in line Needle Holder.  Kinda fun.  I had bought that material for 3$ for a yard.  I used about 20" for the holder and lined it with some left over fleece.  It only took about an hour.  I didn't care so much for sewing all the lines to hold the needles...but I didn't quit...I just grabbed a nice cold beer and kept going.

I finished this yummy little neck warmer and started one that is only 2 rows wide..They are cute and easy to do.  I'm hoping to get some up on Etsy before holidays.

While I was busy doing my stuff Olive made her own hair clip from some broken toys.

Good job, Olive!

As I was saying, idle hands are the Devil's hands and we'll have none of that around here.  I got up this morning and cleaned out the pantry...got rid of everything we don't,won't or can't use....and didn't look back.  

Next up the kid's bathroom, but honestly I think I might be losing steam.

Depression for me is evil.  Loneliness, gets me into trouble, and free time is the bane*of my existence.

All in one weekend.

* "bane" was once a very serious word. The Old English "bana" meant

literally "slayer" in the sense we now use "killer" or "murderer."
Early on, the English "bane" was also used in the more general sense
of "cause of death," and by the 14th century "bane" was used in the
specialized sense of "poison"

So, you can only imagine what the next few months have in store for me.  If only I could get my writing back on track.  

Sad but True

A few years ago, one of the young girls who worked in admissions with me said," I think I have a missed connection!" I said, "WHAT?"
She went on to explain to me about Craigslist "missed connections" and showed me the one she thought was hers :). Cute, and oh so addictive. It's a secret pleasure I have and although the hospital has blocked it I have figured out how to get around the firewall to still view it. I randomly click through them. Reading one to 'purdy gurl at Walmart' and then click the 'RE:' to see how perfect they will be together. I make up stories while I'm at work about how the 'couple who dance next to each other at Red Rocks' are now dating happily with a great story of how they met.

What is Wrong with ME!? Am I that pitiful or that romantic. Is it because, romance is gone and I'm always looking for the real romance of things. I mean this can't be it can it? People go through their days and then all of a sudden it hits them like a drunk driver...ROMANCE. I know, in my heart, this is what is going to happen to Bobby. One day he will wake up, be on his way to work and say...Damn...I'm lucky. His knees will get weak and he will want to turn around to find me and tell me.

Yeah...uh huh...this is what keeps me reading Missed Connections. Not to find mine, but to secretly help others find theirs. Fantasy at it's finest.

I met Bobby on Yahoo Groups....(remember Yahoo Groups, before myspace?) Sometimes I wonder if he was just trolling and ended up with me or was it romantic? We chatted a bit, called on the phone, then met in Vegas for the Rockabilly Weekender. Was it a connection? Yes...we are still here 7 years later...ups and downs...and the computer, one of the main arguments in our lives. (we both know what happens on the computer)

Anyways...check out the missed connections they are funny. I have been known to send them to people I know...a secret admirer thing, you know to make them feel good (they don't know it's me). I just say stuff like " To the girl on the HOP with the blue scarf, your eyes lit up my day...you are beautiful."

It makes people happy to know they were noticed. That's all. Doesn't it?

your resident weirdo
m

yeah...Rock N Roll Baby

Perfect weekend this weekend...Except for a few minor details.
First I think I might have done a few drunken Blog comments....I'm blaming it on Plath. I always read her blog last and then I feel the need to comment on stuff even though it doesn't pertain to anything...so whoever was the recipient of those comments..oopsie :)
Let's see. I started out my weekend...thinking about what I was going to get myself with the midmonth paychecks. Middle of the month is good if all the planets are in a row and I have gotten everything paid for the first of the month. It means I can buy groceries, save a bit of $$$ in the pot, and maybe treat myself to some fancy tights or shoes (talkin' 50$ and under type of fancy)...anyways...I had been eyein' up a pair of cool socks from American Apparel, so I thought I better check my bank account. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What?!!!! Someone is buying Coach bags in Cerritos CA. with my $$$$ All my money, plus some. Nice. Must be Karma for something I did, all though I don't know for what , because I pretty much keep to myself. First thing I think is Bobby must have a girlfriend...shit...wait a damn minute, he can't be that stupid. Noooo I call him to find out about the girlfriend. "Oh, Yeah(he says)...They called from Merchant Services WEd. night and said someone was using the card, but I told them I have my card and that I am not in CA. so they better not let that go through." BUT they did let it go through!!!!! Looks like they caught the 300$ paintball excersion, the 285$ fish market purchase, but for some reason felt the crook needed a 600$ Coach bag. Which in turn Bounced every $4.27 purchase for Starbucks, or groceries, and Daycare checks...which as you all probably know led me down the spiral of 25$ service charge hell. Which puts me at just about -429.83$ Yes...Yes.... Breathe....

God Bless America. and my thoughts that people are good, gracious and honest. God Bless the Woman or fabulously Gay man who is strutting their stuff throughout smog ridden CA. right now, swinging my just released Winter Coach bag (please let them have gotten a nice one and not some ghetto pastel "C" bag). God bless the credit union who I have banked with for 20 years and knows that the biggest purchase I may ever have will be at Target the day after Xmas....God Bless them for calling to let us know the charges were happening and then LETTING THEM GO THROUGH ANYWAYS!!! God Bless them for tacking on the additional 25$ service fees one after another as the fake charges went through...and God Bless them for relizing I had savings, for vacation, in the account right next to it that they could continue to pull money out of. God Bless them and their safety measures....the fact we saw it happening, called the bank and they told us "I'm sorry, it's after business hours, you will have to come into the main branch (45 miles away) to contest the charges in person on MONDAY!) uhhhuh. Monday.
So, what did I do? Eff IT!
I went out on Saturday. Partied it up at the Fox Theater with the Hell's Belles and the Mighty 18 Wheeler, shopped my grocery ass off, bought Olive a new carseat, Ilin a new Bionichle, Bobby a new shirt, 2 fancy 6 packs of beer, filled the gas tanks up with gas....and rented movies for Sunday. Screw it...They can sort it out on MONDAY!!!! The way I see it...if all hadn't gone to Hell, I would have 1400 in my checking account, not -437.39 give or take a few bucks. God bless corporate America.

I'm done bitching, I'm done. Pretty much. I did have fun at the Fox. The guys rocked. I love hangin in the green room with the free cocktails and awesome view and the security guards swishing you in and out through different doors. It was nice...Synda and Chad came and even though it wasn't like seeing the Police or something it was cool. Thanks to Bobby and his guest list.

I got a shitload to do this morning before I go to clinicals. I'm at work right now...get this crap over with then start again.
write ya later
m

My Mammoo.....

I spent half of the Thursday night looking for  a post a did about my mom right after she passed.   Of course I couldn't find it.   I save everything and of course that got thrown out with the bath water.  typcial.  I miss my Mamoo.  Today would have been her birthday.  She was a dancer from the age of 4.   She danced burlesque in Chicago with all the great dancers...  It was her life.  She met my dad dancing.  i guess they both had not so great relationships and when the timing was right they got together.  He took on her truckload of young kids, she took on his group of older kids...there was a 22 year age gap.  My dad took care of her...loved her...took her around the world.  They went to Italy, NY, SanFran,and Bermuda.  Wherever they wanted----they went.  I don't know much about them.  I was the "little mistake" that happened, yet their pride and joy.  The youngest of the 13 put together...I was much the afterthought if we could say thought at all.  That's ok.  I grew up fancy.  I traveled with no complaints.  I hung with seniors.  I was independent.  When I was about 8 my dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's ...but my mom held strong.  She took care of him through thick and thin. She took care of him in the house until he died...Not once wavering to put him in Long Term care.

But me? I was a shitty kid.  I was punk rock...I ran away, I lived alone, I lived with druggies....but my mom was always there.

The last time I saw her was October of 2003.  She asked Ilin and I to come visit for Halloween.  We went to my sister's house in Michigan.  I stayed strong, which I'm not good at, was polite and did not cry.  We had a fine time.  When it was time to leave she went to the airport with me.   I could barely look at her...the metallic smell of chemo and sickness...the new eyebrows growing over the "tattooed eyebrows" she had to have due to pride and upkeep when the others fell out.  I wanted to ask her so many things....but I wasted that time.  I just sat there, blinded by the mere fact I had done nothing...I had done nothing.  I kept quiet.  She reached over, patted my leg and said, "you know I love you right?"   

               

" yup, of course I do, Mom...don't worry about it"

"You did the best you could, with what you had." she said.

" I know,mom...I love you"

We were sitting in the airport load out and they were flagging us to move, get out or do something....I got my bags and the kid...."Ilin, tell Gramma you love her"

As I got everything together I leaned into the car window....she said with that look in her eye, 

"I'll see you at Thanksgiving...don't worry...and Myssi, take care of that baby you got  in there."  

I had not told my mom about the baby...wasn't even sure if I could keep it.  I just looked at her and said..."I will, Mom....I love you...I do."

I knew that was it...the last time I would see her.

She died around this time that year or so... I can't really remember.  I didn't go back to help her pass...I left that to my sister...something I'll never forgive myself for.  

When all the stuff was sorted and sent out there were boxes of crap sent to me....old pictures and report cards.  Mom's dance cards and flyers.  Everything you could possibly think of and along with it....Notes to the baby, dresses for the baby who she never met, and letters of love to me...sealed in envelopes stuck inside weird things...telling me I will be ok...and I was a good kid...despite it all.

Today would be my mom's bday...she died of cancer and COPD 7 months before Olive was born.  She didn't get to see how I turned out, how smart Ilin is or how adorably obnoxious Olive is...I'm sure she would have laughed...I'm hoping she can see through the clouds....that it is ok...I'm ok...and I'm strong...She taught me strength, morals and the loves of life and I respect her for that.

A young picture of her...

Pictures of me...a bit older than she was....How can two people be so different?  Yet so close?

I miss you Mom...and it's ok.

remember Goat Girl?

my soap...before Etsy...before online purchasing...I had to beg and steal to get it anywhere....My pride and joy...so much work...so little giveback.   I remember when Henry Bendel's took it on their special little table in NY....I remember when i was given the top 10 award in Marie Claire.   

Could have should have would have....somebody called me the other day and wanted to know if they could buy the rights to the picture...I said no...not ready to give her up.

weird I don't have a picture of the Sugah' Scrub with the goat with the Afro...she was based on Foxxy Brown....yuppers....

If only I had Etsy back then  :)

Thursday post...if easily offended, don't read

Sorry...  

There is  a difference between fucking someone and being fucked...it's a big difference with a  thin line/slippery slope, especially when you are dealing with women.  As I get older I see things that break my heart...in more ways than one.  Call me old, call me knowledgeable, call me cool.... I don't care, just listen....because it comes with age and most mothers, regardless of their knowledge, won't tell you this.

I'm not really sure if it comes with street smarts or with experience ....possibly age, but it came to me and I can't stand seeing my friends not understand it.   Here, let me try to explain.  Women need love...they need touch...they need more than a vibrator can give them.  They need knowledge, friendship, companions and good sex.  These things often come in a package.  If you are pretty,smart and cool...you usually have a good relationship, sex and love.  On the other hand if you have been burned, abused and become wary...you don't.  You search for love outside the norm...you search for touch...and physical contact.   When you are certain age, maybe you search for a fuck...get it out...feel wanted, needed......orgasmic.   Whatever the case you need it and you will get it wherever it shows itself.

fine...feel it, be it, do it...but there is a difference of power in this fuck and it makes me sad to see my friends not distinguish the difference.  When you need it and have low self esteem it's almost a power abuse thing.  They think they are being "loved,wanted and fucked" when really they are being used.   Try to explain this to someone who can't or won't understand...  They have the need to need but the not the need to rationalize.   As a woman, you can want it,need it and do it...but the minute...the MINUTE you give up the power...you are being fucked ...and not fucking.  (this is different when in a long term loving relationship)  When you are out, you need to have the power to say when, where, and if...  I have no issues with woman loving sex,loving having some strange...but you need to be in power of the decision...You say when...not take it when.

This is the difference between fucking and being fucked....and it's important. 

I barely can talk about this...it kills me, it hurts me to not help.  You know the woman...The cute underly dressed "good" girl who disappears at a party and reappears disheveled and then tells you later ..."he's going to call me tomorrow"..... Yea, he's going to call you... to suck his dick...or whatever you did last night...not to meet your family.

On the other hand, I respect woman who can say, yeah...I love it...and I'm single so why not?  We will have a nice dinner, there are rules, he will follow the rules and then we will have mad passionate sex and that's that.  Maybe I'll see him tomorrow...maybe not ,it's my choice...whatever... I have other things to think about.

Ladies, woman, be strong....be exquisite, stand up, take control, be sexy...but don't fuck for love....don't fuck because they want you...think...be in control.  people notice, people talk...come on...be the person you should be, be the person you can be.

Maybe i'm not the one to talk.  I don't fuck for love, but I want and need love.  I need to be loved and wanted.  Good Catholic upbringing keeps me from searching...but I'm still a woman...I'm still beautiful...I still need it...But I can be in control.

Senior Care

First week of clinicals has left me feeling sad and empty.  Not because of the draining factor but for the mere fact we throw away our elders.  Senior Citizens stuck in rooms, 2 people per area, left at the mercy of an often very un-compassionate CNA.  Waiting for someone to help them get onto the toilet and getting yelled at if they attempt it by themselves.  You better hope you have Alzheimer's by the time your kids leave you there.

No control...over anything.

I learned to pass millions of pills, fabulously mixed with thickened shakes or applesauce. I reminded the disgruntled LPN who was teaching me of "best nurse practice".  "hey, don't you want to check this insulin first?"  "How about we sign off on the Narcs before we forget?"  "You need a glove before you draw that blood...and maybe an alcohol wipe?"  I had a lot of eye rolling, but I'm sorry, it's for the patients safety too.  

I slowly picked through tray after tray of pills...looking at each bubble pack and comparing it to the order.  I found one set of orders where the nurse had been giving the wrong amount of Coumidin for 5 days.  She forgot to alternate.  "oopsie" she said..."little med error, bound to happen."    And yes it is, especially if you never even look at the order.

They try to teach us to treat every patient as we would our mother, or someone we dearly love.  The problem here is that you are dealing with LPN's (which are one degree lower than RNs) who became LPN's 15 years ago and never moved forward.  They got a job in long term care than stopped and now are not happy that we are there, learning new things and possibly moving further than they.  They are angry and it shows.  

My nurse yesterday laughed as I talked to each patient, rolling her eyes and prodding me to go faster.  I  asked how they were feeling and got the standard reply of "ooooh I hurt all over".  I bet you do, sitting in that wheelchair all day.  I had a couple of funny things happen.  One CNA came to me and said Ms. SOandSo has pain under her breasts.   OK, I can look at that.  No big deal.  So I go into her room and the CNA is "getting everything done at once"  which I applaud her for her time management but everything should not be done on the toilet...out of respect, dignity and it stinks in there.  So as the CNA is giving a spongebath, brushing teeth, letting Ms. SoandSo take her nightly crap, I walk in and say,"Let me me see what you have going on here...among everything else"  With a  smile...I lift a large pendulous boob which would give Africa a run for it's money, and take a looksee.  Oh My.   So the Aide tells me she swears she cleans under there.  I give her a sideways look because by the look of the cheese under there it hasn't been cleaned in at least 3-4 days.  I get the medicated powder and gloves, wet wipes and a piece a candy...(remember, this is all being done as she is taking her nightly, possibly weekly BM, and it is a little ripe in there)...and I gently lift each boob and instruct the CNA to wipe GENTLY, not wipe all the skin away!  Jeesus!  Here let me get some sandpaper and scrub under your boob for a minute.   I dry it gently and start squirting the powder into the vast depths of the folds.   "OOOH  that is NIIIICE,  I smell Gooder, huh?   I Love you, You must be new.  You are so kind...I smell so gooder"   Yes, Ms SoandSo, you smell gooder and hopefully your boobs feel better."  

One down 30 more patients to go.   

Next few rooms go smoothly then another CNA says Mr. Bigbutt has a few red spots.  Okie dokie...let's look.  We get him in the lift, get him up, I gently pull down his underwear and there you see 3 huge redspots...you can tell they are sore.  I put gel packs on them to help until the wound care nurse can get there.  1 hour later the CNA says oh yeah, somehow Mr. Bigbutt's pads came off when I was changing him.   ?????? These things are "stuck" to his ass with gluey stuff, also he has ahd a major stroke and couldn't reach his own ass if he wanted to.  So I go in to take a look and put new on.  The Cna had gotten the chucks stuck on the top of the gel pad and I guess when there was some resistance ,she just gave a good tug..., which in turn yanked the skin right off of his ass.   Owie, you say>?   Well that is right.  Now, not only do we have a red spot we have and open bed sore.   

I felt bad for him and angry for the rush job people feel they have to do.

I'm not bagging CNA's .  I was one too.  I think we just need to make it a goal to care for people...not just get through the shift.  (maybe it's a training thing)

All in all it was good....3 more weeks of it....in  a place we can't make a difference except by being nice.  I took the time to talk to the people and listen...I'll probably take longer than most but it's the least I can do.

I realize this is a topic many people don't care about or think about, but you should...there is an entire generation of people who had amazing lives and now are stuck in a place they must call home with room mates they don't care for and caretakers who just go through the motions.  rough I say...and a bit embarrasing, for us as a nation.

515 AM conversations with a 4 Year old

"Mammoo, I just can't find any outfits for Sleeping Beauty in here."
(looking in little purple bag)

"Olive, this bag is for the little pets."

"Mammmmmoooooo.....that is Leroy, Pablo, and Laquisha! Those are Backyardigans!"

"Yes Olive, those are little 'type' pets."

"NOOOO! The squirrel and the bunny are Little Pets...the others are Backyardigans and I don't know why you put them in here!"

sigh

"Olive, go look in the Little Mermaid Purple Chest and see if the Sleeping Beauty clothes are in there."

"Oh YEAAAH!, Mammooo you are so smart."

yup.

(back to brushing teeth)

commitment phobe

If it's not one thing it's another. I'm not sure if my mind is in a different time zone or maybe it's just me. Whatever the case, it's getting worse. Last night when the stupid little old dog had to go outside for the 20th time that evening I got out of bed, in the dark, did my yelling for the 20th time and clopped naked down the stairs...well almost down the stairs...I missed the last 3 and ate carpet at the bottom. Damn Dog!!! Don't panic, I was fine, except for the carpet burn and bruise on my knees...BUT if I had been 5 years older I guarantee I would have broken a hip. I just know it.

Maybe it's the universe trying to warn me about something...and not gravity. Maybe it is saying to pick a path and stick to it. (yes, I realize this has nothing to do with the dog peeing.) Maybe it is saying to make a commitment and stick to one. Yes, that is what it is saying.

So starting today 11/11 and the time is 10:11 am....I will make one commitment, finish it and start again. ( i promise this isn't going to be like the 100 pushups, although I did finish that program)

Today my commitment/goal is to have a great clinical experience and learn...learn alot, so that when I'm done I have confidence.

Now, back to reality. I'm sick and tired of work and school and desperately need a vacation. I am trying to plan the vacation to Destin but am unable to make a commitment on airline tickets. The reason being the cheapest I can find are 200$ round trip, gotta get 4, and the return time is at 550 am. I don't think I can bring myself to get the family up at 330 am on our last day of vacation. The next plain tickets are 260$ which puts us over the 1000$ range for tickets. Not gonna do it. (note to people without kids, as fabulous as kids are...this is one reason to not have them)...So, although I have found a little condo for about 600$ a week I can't commit. Someone help me.

I will make that commitment tomorrow.

trying to get inspired.

Thought I'd start my sister's laptop bag.   

this is as far as I've gotten....

then I started yahooing synda...which led to depression...because we are lazy

Last go Round.....

Next week I start my last round of clinicals and I have all ready begun my downward spiral of stomach aches and lack of sleep.  What is up with that?  I get all worked up and freaked out about the unknown and there is no one to talk to about it.  As I've stated efore, I'm not really sure if Bobby even knows where or what I do all day.  He does now know that I am in school but if he had to find my school or know my schedule...forgettaaboutit.   So, I can't talk to him.  The people at my school are all so nonchalant about everything I feel dingy telling them that I get scared....although I'll gladly tell them when I haven't taken a poop in 4 days.  

Geriatric clinicals...nursing home, smells, poopy, incontinence....and many many pills.  Let me say that again....many many pills...and I will be responsible for passing them in pudding to the correct patient at the correct time in the correct manner.  jeesus...  this is why I can't sleep...I can barely get dinner on the table for my family in a timely manner and now I have this task?  breathe.........................

I'm gonna be fine.  Right?  Aren't there any nurses out there that read this crap piece of blog?

Hello Vagina...It's me, Menses talking

Dear Vagina (and all parts attached),

I'm here to ruin your week.  Don't worry, we'll try to make it painless, although it doesn't quite seem possible to accommodate your needs anymore, including the pain part.  We try to arrive at the most in opportune time to keep you on your toes...so be ready.  I really don't want you to think life revolves around me...BUT...you know....I am important.  I heard from the brain that you were having a bit of stress.  She said it was something about school and the scheduling and trying to fit life, work and a new future all into one packet.  I thought this was hysterical....and the best part?....Since you don't have unprotected sex anymore or go on romantic vacations, I thought this would be a perfect time to arrive...and boy I was right.  I win every time.  Your brain also told me she remembered you didn't have any tampons under the sink last time you were looking under there...so I really thought it would be nice to show up a day early, percolate all night in your uterus so that when you rolled out of bed at 515 am there would really be no forgetting about me.  I want you to remember that until menopause, even though you don't actually need me anymore, I am going to be here for you.  Full Force.  Possibly even more so than before.  I heard from your pain tolerance that you were thinking you were pretty tough, ha, we'll see about that.  Boobs reminded me the other day they could barely remember what it was like to be pregnant, so I thought I would shoot some unneeded hormones their way also... No bra is going to feel good for the next week, don't worry, you are tough, you can handle it..and like I said before, at least you don't  have to worry about being pregnant (you took that joy away from me after the last kid...I'll never let you live that down, well, at least until menopause).  Oh yeah, if you are thinking "I can't wait til Menopause gets here"...well you better think another thought because Menopause is my neighbor and we have been working out a game plan with Ms Midlife Fat roll, Mr. Hot Flash, and Dry Vagina....oh yeah and the last we heard from Zits , Wrinkles, and Stray Hair...they said they would definitely be back from vacation for that...they said they wouldn't want to miss it.  

One last thing, I called Temperament and let them know "games on". We'll be waiting in the background when Bobby gets home.  So be ready.  Tongue all ready said she was not in a cooperating mood and Foot-n-Mouth is not far away.   Right hand has been primed to be able to pick up the gin bottle and taste buds are on hiatus so when you think 3 drinks will suit you better than 1, we will all be ready to move forth with our plan to destroy the rest of your week, and if we work it out perfectly, we may even be able to ruin the family's week too.  

Love you,

Menses

i did want to point out one thing

Invite only....
(possibly one of the biggest problems in general of the Rep. Party)

OR

Free to The People....

You decide

U R fired......

+

=

I'm so happy for us as a country
v8