Cool Boss

Have you ever had one of those bosses who are really laid back?  You know, everything is ok with them as long as things are covered and there are no kinks in the hose.  The boss that says , "Sure take a vacation, just make sure all the shifts are covered and I know when you are coming back".  This was my awesome boss in a corporate world.  I work in a hospital where there is a"code of conduct" and many rules to follow: dress code, clock in times, holiday times, overtime, breaks...you name in and there's a rule for it.  I understand this.  I really do. There is always some jackass behind every jackassed rule. I have worked in places where people think starting their shift is 18 minutes past the time they clock in...which is fine if you are not relieving someone who must stay until you sit your fat ass in the chair with your snacks and accouterments.  

I don't work that job anymore.  I work a job with a job share partner where no one says you have to be there at 8 am on the nose.  If you are going to be 2 hours late you call and let them know.  As long as the job gets done everyday and things are completed...A-OK...that was until that boss who was so laid back decided out of the blue that "rules needed to be enforced".  I'm also ok with this, but you don't just start on the 3rd Wednesday of the month with no forewarning.

So forgive me kind ,cool boss who used to never enforce rules in our section of Utopia for me getting a bit irritated when you wrote me up yesterday for taking a day off on Wednesday.  The shift was covered.  I did tell you.  I came in the next day to help with crap.   OH...I didn't call the front desk 2 hours before my shift and let them know?  So I get a counseling session?!!!  Let me let you in on a few things...

You know that guy who sits down front and always appears to be "away from his desk" doing a different part of his job?  Well really, he is taking a 2 hour lunch break because I saw him at La Rhumba drinking cocktails with some ladies the other day.  You know that other person who come in at 10 and always is working overtime?   She is not working.  I saw HER down at the Fit Stop, working out, on the clock, for almost 2 hours...hence the reason she clocked out 945 pm.  How about that new Jackass you hired who didn't even show up for the shift and we all had to work until we got it covered...How come he is still employed?  Hmmm let me think about it....think think.  Boy, that Myssi, she's never been late for a shift.  She helps everyone who asks...follows all rules pretty much all the time...never sick, doesn't take mental health days because she's on the rag...and you know what?... she does her job pretty well...no problemo....but let's make sure we write her up on her permanent record.  Perfect sense to me.

thanks cool Boss.

Have a great retirement.  I can't wait.

OhhhMommy, you should never ride your....

10 miles in the morning without thinking it thru.  Even if you are trying to save gas.

Maybe for....

Daddy will get you an electric car.

Laptop Bag...Paisley

Princess Titsy started a new job with Headstart teaching Bi-lingual Preschool. To send her off I wanted to get her something special and the only way I could do that was to make something nice, especially since I'm broke. I made her a Laptop bag with her favorite colors, Pink, Green and Paisley. I don't know how I found the perfect material, but I did. The God's were with me!

It's not perfect, but It is the the thought that counts and I think if I make a few more for my Upcoming Etsy Store they will sell...well at least I hope they do.

Today, I started my day like a total freak, running around looking for a check book. I guess reordering checks has not been top on my list of priorities...well, it should have been. I got up at 545am, but didn't leave the house til 730 am....Not the best way to start. School was fine, and I'm hoping I can borrow books and not have to buy them. I just can't afford 200$ for 2 books right now.

School Days School DAys

Starting back to nursing school today!...Zippity Doo Dah. I won't be here during the day, so I'll catch up in the evenings.

I'm going to try to figure out if I can ride my little Pink Betty bike to daycare then to school for the next month...It's about 6 miles. I'll clock it this morning and see if it's possible

T.M.I

Sorry about the last post, I'm sorry if I offended anyone....Synda pointed out that her Mom reads this post and BJ's are not ok. ;)
I removed it. I thought it was a pretty good honest post...Reality of my life...but i removed it

Skull book cover

Because I couldn't let the kid go to school with a paper bag on his book or Lord forbid the purchased book cover...we made a hip happenen' perfect for the Hot Topic back to school gear cataloge ...

I was thinking...Hey I need this on a Tshirt...why am I always making crap for other people?...ok it is my kid, doesn't count.

The Book cover looks like a pillow huh? just realized that in the photo.

But it's actually pretty cool.

1. find the material you want to use.

2. Lay the book on top and allow for 4 inches extra on each side of the book and an additional 1 inch top and bottom.

3. I hemmed it with a normal double 5/8" hem all the way around.

4. Do one side first...Fold( right sides of fabric) over the 4" on one side pin and stitch at top and bottom.

5. Turn right side out and put on book.

6. make adjustment and pin other side of book so that it is tight, but so that you can close the book...(remember you have a binding on the book!)

7. Stitch other flap of book right side together to make the part you slide the book cover into....turn right side out.

at this point it should fit the book,somewhat tight, make adjustments on top and bottom if needed...If you measured correctly it should fit pretty good.

***we decided it looked kind of plain so I took a piece of craft felt and pieced together a skull and crossbones and sewed it on with contrasting thread. You could hand stitch or sewing machine.

I just winged this, so I'm sure you can do it also...It took about 45 minutes max from start to finish and it's not super fancy...just plain old cool
write ya later
m

Synda's Etsy Shop

Hey...It's time to start thinking about cold weather hats

click on Synda's shop
right there to the left...no I mean right...
Tonsyn.

The most awesome hats and now they come in baby and little people sizes!
sooooooooooooo cute
Go look. Perfect for presents.

no likey

i have decided I don't like those "Blog-her" sites that are covered with ads for kids crap and such. I don't like it. I like my readable blogs easy to read and not to hard on the senses. I came across some that were too busy and it made me mad. grrr

I don't like that Synda has up and left me for her sister. I don't give a rat's ass if blood is thicker than water. I supply her with a secret place to go to to drink after yoga. she hasn't written me in 2 weeks. I need a new best friend....;(

I don't like that my office area has a potluck every damn week for nothing. The food sucks and they are noisy....I just want to work and get the heck outta Dodge.

I don't like grocery shopping...

I think I might be in a bad mood, which is strange because I did get laid last night....( i do like that)

this is what I'm TALKIN about

When I take the time to go through my blog roll I'm saddened that I don't know these woman. It's my secret life. It's my voyeurism living wild. I took a few of my favorite quotes and put the links to the blogs and for me, this is what life is about. Different ages, different beauty, all very different lives, yet we all are connected. Some more so than others.
This is what I'm talkin' about.......

"It's amazing what a little (ok, a lot) Tanqueray will do to a newly single, relatively unstable girl. So, I went a little nuts. So what? It was the most fun I've had in a while. A real balls to the wall night out. I rocked out with my proverbial cock out."
Regardez Moi
That's my girl...Strap it on, and Rock it out!...

"rushing home to enjoy a rather nasty combination of Fresca and Jim Beam and later that night an andouille sausage po-boy."
Fly in My Mint Julep
Because Fresca, the refreshing citrus drink with no calories, isn't just for breakfast anymore.

"I live a block away from the city's own Grand Central Tranny, a hot bed of prostitution. Not only do I often get great compliments on my way to work (they LOVE my huge metallic gold, crystal and metal studded purse! Susannah hates it) but just the other day I was solicited! I’m 63 years old for chrissake."
Petunia Face's mom
For the woman I'm aspiring to be....her guest post was full of beautiful Drag Queens and Wisdom...just as it should be...and the quote above........ Because fuckin life doesn't end at 50 or 60, or really until you are in the ground, so let's live it! xoxox.

"Dear family,

I am not the maid.

Bite me.

Sincerely,
Wife/mom"

I like Yarn

enough said, family...i ditto that

So, there are many more, but if you live in my fantasy world of sex, drugs and proverbial cocks...all of this makes me laugh out loud, especially because life is what you make of it...and this makes for good life.

Write ya late

myssi

First day of "junior high!"

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cute huh?

isn't she so cute?  Like a sweet puppy....lovable,cuddly....

and then 15 minutes of being left alone watching "Flushed Away" in the big bed, because she says she feels yukky....

I come up to this

My vintage glasses I use to see every night...

not looking so cute now, huh?

A cup of water poured onto my pillow....

and the salt and pepper shakers emptied onto the phone

(don't ask, I didn't understand either)

then I'm left with this....

sorry Mamoo

yeah, you are lucky you are so cute...

Mamoo is going to drink beer now

unconditional

All people really want in this big world is to be loved.
Unconditionally and respectably loved.
Love may not make the world go round but it sure as hell makes it easier to bear. We all want to have someone light up in their eyes when they look at you...have someone know your slights and wrongs and say, "Hey, it's ok, we'll work around it."
Someone who makes you laugh and makes you cry, but won't run on the first problem.
I don't need diamonds....I'm actually quite low maintenance.
What I do need is a smile, a poem, a thought that comes from you to me.
I understand we are different. You can't read my mind but I bet you can guess what would take the edge off of my thoughts.
I am a smart woman. I can survive on my own with very little.
I don't want to have to do that. I would like for you to be happy
with me.

Manchild

hat by Synda @ Tonsyn

I spent the day yesterday with my 11 year old, Ilin Blue. When I look at him I wonder, "where did this creature come from?" He's his own person, which as a parent is something we all strive for. He's pretty independent, smart, quiet and often quite funny...so where did he come from?
Yes, I know where he CAME from, I just wonder who delegates the social aspect?

As we sat down to a plate of gnocci and my 2 glasses of red wine...he had root beer...we discussed life. As if we were one some sort of first date we started with small talk. He noticed a baby sitting next to us....

"Mom, look at the fat rolls on her arms, she's so cute...she looks like Olive, but not as fat."

I laughed.

"No, not nearly as fat."

He wanted me to talk about when he was a baby. Was he fat? Yes, Skinny, FAT,chubby, then super skinny. He wanted to talk about when times were normal for him. When his dad and I were still together. Although I don't think he really remembers that, just the novelty of it. We talked about starting middle school. He asked about what I did when I was in school. Of course I lied and told him how good I was and all the clubs I was in. I left out the part that I was in the counted cross stitch club and made it sound like I was the head of the yearbook club. I asked him what he was going to try. He looked me straight in the eye and said, "football".

huh?
ok, Mr 75# of skin and bone. nice choice. I gulped my wine and said, "Wow, starting out strong huh?"
He said he's not real good at running, he gets winded (duh) and doesn't care for the running shorts and white shoes they wear....(that's my boy), but maybe football. OK then. Who am I to say?

We shared a salad and the bread, finished up and went for a walk on Pearl Street.
He's such an awesome spirit that it's sometimes hard to comprehend. We saw a street person with no leg, in a wheel chair,stinking and smiling in the warm sun. Ilin just nonchalantly said, "That really sucks."
Yes it does. That was that. Reality at it finest.
We went to Buffalo Exchange and looked at cool old Tshirts and I told him he would have to wait on school clothes til next month. He just said, "Ok, Mom, I don't need anything right now".
What I really wanted to say is that I don't have enough $$ to buy new clothes because we just spent it on lunch and I paid 65$ for all your school supplies...and I still have to rent that huge bass instrument for your orchestra class, but I didn't. I just smiled and said we'll come back when I get paid next week.

He puts up with me,he puts up with his step dad, he has a sister who has leukemia(dad's side)and another sister who is a pain in the ass and all he says is " It's ok mom, I don't need anything".

Have I helped bring a caring boy into the world for the next generation of women or have I created a child who is going to need therapy and will inevitably hate me in a few years?
It's a question of deep concern for me. I guess I will just roll with the punches and hope for the best...My sweet kid. I'm crossin my fingers for him

Saturday pictures

goofy faces over Booby's Bday Margaritas..these were the smalls!!

my eyes are crossed!..tryin to be funny

Jimmy and Leslie..and their "small marg"

the pink bug ;my love

red chairs 

they will have cream handles!

and,,,I made a 

B

Friday Eye Candy... me likey

I think that Mr Downey has come a long way from the Less than Zero.
Me Likey....He's my new man crush
BUT
last night I had an awesome dream about

Young Mr. Parrish from Weeds
(the shirtless one)
I think this may be wrong considering he's probably just barely legal. I have now turned into a female cradle snatcher in my dreams. Although for some reason, in my dreams (they are my dreams after all) I'm younger too. It was the best romantic interlude I've had in a while!
It was that high school Love...mmmm
when I walked into the room (dream) he lit up for me and me alone.
Then I was rudely awaken by the screech of the family of raccoons that wonder through my backyard every night.
In my mind this morning I thought
a good raccoon is a dead raccoon....not very ladylike coming from a vegetarian, but you don't understand! Mr Hunter Parrish was waiting for me and I had to miss the happy ending because of raccoons!
Story of my life.

Maybe next time I can have a 3some with hunter and downey....and if there has to be a girl I'll take that Hooker girl on after WEEDS.
Who would be your 3 some?

Monthly Friend, she never fails me

http://www.damneddollies.com/dollies.html

Ok, maybe once or twice she has/had failed me, but you know, I got two semi great cute kids out of that failure...and she has given me quite a few frights, but all in all she's the most reliable thing in my life. Practically like clock work.
I just arrived at work. 537 am and thanked the Goddesses, or whatever I'm to thank, that there was a plate of chocolate bar cookies sitting on the counter out front. YESSSSSSSS. I grabbed 4, oink oink I'm on the rag!, my gallon of sweet ice tea and sat down with my bloated, zitted self to think before working. Here's what I thought:

Can blogging make us all have our periods at the same time?
Am I going to bleed to death today? Because today feels like it might be the day.
I can't bleed to death today because I have my final exam today...maybe after the exam.
If I drive off the side of the road, would anyone notice?
would anyone say anything if I didn't put any makeup on today?
Whatever happened to that Prince on the white horse that was to come for me? Damn him.
I'm glad I never got those vampire teeth hole tattoos in my neck.
I hope the street people aren't in the bathroom, I want to sit down in peace.

There's the most thinking I will probably do all day...including for my test. I'm off to read the blog roll.

write ya later
m

And the Idiot award goes toooooooooo

I have a little diddy about an idiot girl.  After last week's fabulous pre PMS haircutting adventure, I felt, somewhere in the back of my vapid mind, that I was now ok to move onto harder tasks.  What task you ask?  ....bikini waxing.   

I know, I know...you, the normal hormonal person is thinking...what the F?  Is she nuts? You don't give yourself a Brazillian, you leave that for professionals.  Remember a few lines ago when I was feeling I had progressed to professional level?   Yeah, well I had not...although you would have thought I did the way I got all the stuff together, announced I would be locked in the bathroom for a bit and sat perched on the side of the tub reading the directions, glowing on the inside, dreaming of the smoothness and the newness.

Heat wax in microwave...all ready sounds scary, but back in the old days I was into some pretty kinky stuff...I can do this.

check

Makes sure wax is not too hot...well, I have hidden back in the bathroom and swirl the bubbling pot of wax...definitely too hot .I'll try my lip and eyebrows first. 

Apply in direction of hair growth...gothcha

OWWWW way too hot , get it off get it off...well, burned lip...wait for it to cool then put some on eyebrows.

Rip in direction of hair growth

check

1,2,3  RIPPPP...Yowza, now that's something ...all right. Now we are talking.  I give my self a pat on the back...am horrified at the amount of hair I just removed from my lip, along with a  small piece of skin.  It's ok.  I'm GOOD at this.  Hell, I can wax my entire body!

Now down to the private cookie area.  

Hair growth?  kinda crazy...but get a good guess and apply wax.

Let dry for a second and RIPPPPP

Yes...Look at all that!

Yup, definitely did miss my calling, I should have been a waxer, I'm wasting my days in school.

Only about 25 more RIPS to go.

All of this went along well until the first set back.  I dripped a bit of wax onto a very sensitive area.  I couldn't get the damn wax off.  I had to put clothes on and wonder down 2 flights of stairs to google it.  OK...Answer, Baby oil.

I don't have baby oil.

Mineral oil...that should work...

worked ok...and as I'm working on correcting that problem I notice some slight swelling and litte bits of blood.  Hmmm? does every hair follicle bleed?

No Way.  I was doing so well.  Owwie it's starting to hurt.  

As I start to sober from the pain and the PMS begins to fade I realize...

IDIOT

maybe I can go somewhere and they can finish?  rigggght.

I decided to leave it as is and maybe resume tomorrow once I have recovered....put some ointment on and  put on house dress from 1964...sans panties.

At that point pretty much forgot about the entire incident.  Had a few beers then sat down to go pee. 

ARRRGGGHHHHHH

little bumps everywhere!  It was like a swollen, bumpy pretend underwear!

Oh my god.  I'm the most retarded person I know...seriously.  At that point I thought...maybe I'll google it.  which I did and it said a few bumps are normal...didn't say anything about bump underwear.  What if I was going to the Carribean?  Or getting laid by Johnny Depp this evening?  jeesus christ.  whatever. put on more ointment and announced to Bobby he would not be getting his birthday lay with the new improved smooth cookie tonight, probably not tomorrow and then the next day I am pretty sure I will be on the rag.  

Idiot.. 

3 days later...I have gotten up, looked at my old friend the razor and resumed it's use.  Still in the back of my head as I shaved I thought, maybe I will try it again.

I'm here

I have a Test today, review Wed. then final Thursday....then mucho cerveza.

I have some pictures to post from then weekend but it may not be til Thursday.
My Stepson is going thru caffeine withdrawals and I hope he's ok. We discovered he was drinking between 2 and 5 NOS,Throttle, RedBulls and whatever for the past month.
We put the halt to it 2 days ago and made him get up and eat and move around. Well last night the headaches and puking began. It's like having a junkie roommate right now.

write ya later
m

MmmmmmMonday.

Could this be true? Sometimes it feels that way.

Well, it is Monday...and I am so excited because that means my sister is going to be here tonight with her two adorable babies. I am a little nervous for her. She is flying by herself with two kids under 2. Did I say by HERSELF! Holy Crap. She should get an award after today. I am going to go to the airport to help load all of the needed extras. We have to rent a mini van if we are going to be able to go anywhere together. So a minivan it is. Of course everyone is going to want to get one after they see how much fun we are having. It is always a party in the car when we are together.

I was hoping Colorado would be green an lush so she would want to move back, but everything is brown and crispy around here.

Hope everyon else is having a fabulous Monday!!

...(repost) until tomorrow,,,comment now

Sexuality and sex are an uneasy topic for most people, unless talking about the person 2 cubicles down, your gay best friend, or the unbelievable amount your friend of a friend is getting from that super hotty across town. When you attempt to talk to a significant other who is partaking in said sexual activity it's a whole 'nother ball game.
I, and all my friends who really know me and have had a few cocktails (no pun intended) with me, know that I can't give a proper blowjob...whatever that is. I have been around in circles with all my friends, many who valiantly offer tips and encouragement, and I must say that as much as I appreciate all the help...it just doesn't work.
Last night I took it upon myself to refer to my self help book for mediocre blowjobbers,pick a plan, and give it a try. The first step (don't worry, I'll spare you the details) was to talk to the other half who would be required to partake in my endeavor. It was uncomfortable to say the least. I'm pretty sure that bringing up my shortfalls was not much encouragement to him to let me try. Yes, most men would say,"Go for it!" But mine had a few other words to say:

"You don't have to"

"I know I don't have to, I want to"

"I know, but, I'm just saying, it's ok, it's really not a big deal."

"Well, it's a big deal to me. I feel like I've short changed you in the male bonding department. You know, when all you guys are talking about great blowjobs and how So-n-so stepped up to the plate last night...you got nothin'....ever. You always do your share and I do nothing, I mean I do stuff, but not that...so tonight, I, with your permission, am going to go for it."

Not really the best way to set the mood, but with a bit of small talk I headed straight for third or fourth base, maybe it's actually second base now...I don't know. I remembered all the fancy moves, replayed the pictures in my head from the book, could hear girlfriends telling me what NOT to do. All I could think about was that this is a lot of work, not bad work, just odd work. Lot's of stuff to remember when you are a novice....keep going, seem to be doing ok....hmmm how long does this actually take? Do I take this long?.................................... I wonder what is on TV.............Is it happening? Maybe that's it....No, I watch porn, that's not it....maybe I should check or ask..........maybe not........1,2,3,4 twist, turn,swish.......ok...it has to have been at least 45 mitutes if it were a minute....I'm done....I think I did it.

"Why'd you stop? You have to keep going."

"Oh my god, you didn't? I thought you did. You need to be more vocal or something....I tried."

"You were doing good, you can't stop...at all. It takes a bit of concentration on my part. This is new for me, you know what I mean....it's weird"

"what do you mean it's weird? it's all weird isn't it? Just don't think about it like that. Was I doing ok?"

"Yeah, you were doing good......honey, it's just....It's dirty."

WHAT?!!! It's dirty? I didn't understand what he was talking about. Of course it's dirty, it's sex...it's sexy dirty, not dirty dirty.....I better ask.

So I ask....uncomfortable pause,"Come on, it's just me. We do stuff, what do you mean it's dirty?...it's supposed to be sexy, I think it's pretty hot. I mean people pay good money for this, they don't pay me, of course, but you know."

This is what he said to me, which made me melt and remember why I love him.

" I think that may be the problem. You were doing great, don't get me wrong, I think I'm having a hard time with the fact you have my penis in your mouth....it's dirty....I love you and it's just weird, if I didn't love you it would be different."

ok then...

I guess I can see that. I try not to think of that stuff. Seriously, I really don't think about it all when I'm the one in the hot seat. We decided I could give it another go (yea, for me) ...He so kindly said, maybe the weekend? Maybe we can switch up a bit. It is a weird topic, it's a dirty topic....

yes, it is.