the drive to work

I drive the same way everyday...same time...same days. I drive it so often that I sometime arrive at work not remembering the drive at all. A frightful thought....so today I payed attention. I observed my fellow drivers and was quite shocked at the view. The beauty of the Boulder Foothills made my eyes wonder left and right, then I began to look at each car I passed or ones that passed me. Here is what I observed:

people eating breakfast as they drove: bagels, weird paper wrapped fast food, donuts and I even saw one young man eating a BOWL of cereal as he drove with his elbow and knees.

one man reading a book on his steering wheel

one man reading the newspaper

one man shaving his face with an electric shaver, and doing quite a nice job considering he was driving.

I passed a lady who was flattening her hair at a red light, the light turned green, I zipped by as the people stuck behind her started to honk....interesting...didn't realize you could plug one of those in while driving.

a older lady removing huge beer can type rollers from her hair...she had really big hair.

one small child licking the window...el yukko

many dogs in many unsafe places in the car...including a farm dog riding in a flatbed truck on top of a tool box...I thought to myself, I hope his toenails are short because my stupid dogs would slide right off of their on their toenails.

many other types of normal car driving activities; nose picking, zit picking, hair twirling, kissing, and paying attention to everything but the road.

So, tomorrow I will go back to the safe, non mind scarring way I usually drive...in my own little world...Me and NPR...and a safety cup of coffee.

Spring Break is over...

I was able to complete, all buttons included the Slither knitting project. They came out nice.
I also began reading this book. Easy read so far... Hopefully I can get it done in the next week, even with school...I committed to a reading group with this book. We'll see.
I only got the few things done I needed to, but among these I managed to have an altercation with my family, get Olive through her Alligator swim class, which she didnt' actually pass, but we all ready paid for the next level, so it's either sink or swim, literally. She thinks she passed because they gave her a little report card with stars and "NW's". I mean she is 4, I don't need to start in on her with failure all ready do I? She will be fine in the shallow end for one more set of classes. And I got the house clean, pretty much. I need to still finish the little "natural dress", made of muslim, for Olive and shorts of linen for Ilin. I think I can get those done in 2-3 weeks.....mark my words, will ya.
The break gave my mind a much needed excape from school. I am not sleeping again, which always stresses me, yet there is not much I can do about it. I toss and turn, dwelling on my capabilities of making the grades I need...toss and turn, balancing my check book in my head, and toss and turn, trying to fit everything in. I picked up my workouts, hoping that it would help me sleep, but with out the liquor, it isn't really helping, it's helping my muscles, but not my sleep.
I have 60 days til my niece's wedding at the Beach. I still have to rent a car and am not sure if I should do it ahead of time or just wait. I'm guessing it will cost about 280$ for a week. We have booked the flights to Destin from Co. @ $806 for the 4 of us, $795 for the condo...so now I just have the car and the spending money.

Destin,where I grew up and where we are going to be vacationing

I have 60 days to save that, I have started to pick up a few shifts in different areas of work to make a bit of extra $$$. I think I'll be able to do it. I just hope the kids enjoy this vacation, which is actually a wedding, not a vacation, but I hope they are able to relax and see the beauty of the area while we are there. We had originally, a few years ago, planned on taking Olive to Disney for her 5 year birthday, as we did with the other kids, but it may have to wait until 6 years. What she doesn't know won't hurt her, right?

As I stated in the title...Spring Break is over. I better get to work. I have class today from 4-630...then the real week begins again. :) I haven't even started Easter yet. We usually ahve the "Liquor Egg Hunt" for the friends, but haven't even planned it yet.
we'll see. I hope every one's week gets off to a great start

Friday and I'm done

It's noon. I'm eating at my desk...
purple potatoes and veggie sausage. mmm mmm good.
I have completed all my work short of some scanning that needs to be done.
I have sent off stupid silly emails to everyone on my email list and now...
what shall I do. I brought my book The Reader, so that I will be ready for the book club.

I am trying to stay till around 430, when wendy and I will walk next door to the TOAD and have a Friday cocktail with friend. 5 oclock is 5 hours away...that is a long time, especially in work hours.
Hopefully I'll make it.

Also, My kid is staying home this weekend which means I have a free babysitter. I emailed Bobby and asked him out. He didn't reply. How could he resist? I would go out with me, even if we have been going out for 8 years...is one more night going to kill him?

damn him

So for the remainder of the day here are my work goals:
finish lunch
sanitize everything in the office
workout?
read my book ( i do get breaks)
scan the stuff I need to
write my scholarship essay (unless someone else would like to volunteer to do it for me??)

then go for cocktails.

love ya
have a great weekend and if you ahve any blogs you want me to look at...send them my way...
I have time, plus I need some new ones to add to my roster.

Snow

It's snowing...we are to get 16" by this afternoon. I called home and said, "Ilin, please put on appropriate clothes for a blizzard."



See, he has to walk himself to school. Sometimes when I come home from work I see he hasn't even put on boots to walk the mile...he wears his crappy skater shoes.


"Do you want to freeze to death?"


maybe it's better than going to school...

~yeah, kiddo, I hear ya...I thought the same thing on the way to work...maybe I'll slide off the road and not have to go~

Well, I made it to work, which sucks butt because now I will probably be stuck here. Although I have plans to leave even if I have to sit next door. See the hospital never closes and when there is a blizzard they started doing weird stuff like asking you to spend the night so the next shift doesn't have to come in. NO...I came in...they can come in, it's Colorado....they better figure that shit out.

Last night Synda came over and we did the new Jillian Michaels 40 minute circuit training. It was hard!!!!! I actually thought I was going to die, but Synda kept saying, "look we are almost done" Today the sides of my ass feel like I was punched and my stomach muscles are saying hello. I wish it wasn't 40 minutes long...40 minutes is too much to wrap my brain around when I'm getting ready to work out. 20 minutes is doable....40 minutes torture.

Best part was when we were all done and we got to have veggie taco salad and a cookie (and a small beer, shhhhhhhh). We planned to go to Bikrim tonight...but with 85" of snow....probably not.

I guess I better get to work, because honestly, I am going to try to leave around 1 pm. I have a chapter to finish reading for micro. and a short essay to write for a scholarship I'm applying for...Plus I need to finish those damn "slither gauntlets". Synda mentioned something about knitting a bucket hat for the summer...of course all I could think of was:


I think I would look snappy in that hat.

Friday...Spring (Break) has arrived

Even if you don't get to go to a tropical island...here are a few things to do on your Spring Break.

How about a book Lamb by Christopher Moore. Gospel according to Biff, Christ's childhood friend. I was laughing out loud.

Buy a bike....go for a bike ride....you can find plenty of these on Craig's List in your area.

Start planting...you know "greens" love chilly weather and anyone, and I mean anyone can grow lettuce....even in a pot~!

A date at the Zoo?

Whatever you do....have a good one....relax...paint your nails, drink a tropical drink and remember.....Spring is in the Air.

I can barely look at it anymore...

Let alone think about it
so
YOU think about it for a while:

gotta hitch in my giddyup

These past few weeks have been a doozy. I told my friend, when I came into work today,I just want to have a week where I don't have to do anything out of the ordinary. You know, come to work, do the job, go home. Not have to go to a meeting at a different place, change of times, blah blah...it's always something. On that note I have resigned to allowing myself some breathing room. Trying a few new tactics.
Yesterday, I headed up to the fabric store to pick up some buttons for my arm warmers. I had previously bought all the buttons they had on the shelf and they assured me (3.5 weeks ago) that they would reorder. I went back in and they STILL didn't have them! So I tried that thing rich people do, even though I was in the ghetto fabric store in craptown. I tried to demand some service...here's how it went...
"excuse me, who is in charge of ordering buttons?"
"Her name is Elaine..."
"ok, here's the situation, I bought all the buttons on the rack over there and they said they would reorder when they saw the empty place holder, that was 3 weeks ago."
"M'am, it takes about 3 weeks..there are a lot of buttons?"
"hmmmm, ok...well, listen, it WAS 3 weeks ago that I bought all of them and now I need more, plus some, and no one has ordered them...can you please get a manager?"
The chick behind the counter looked at me over her glasses and said, "She's on her break." and walked away.

Good job, Myssi...way to throw that 117#'s of pure pull around. On a break? ok...and what did I do? I turned around and left.
Without my buttons. I'm short 7 buttons on a knitting project I have been working 9 months on. They are so lucky I'm not a postman.
m

Training

new day...
So, today I go to a different part of the hospital and train as a Medical Assistant...not quite an LPN but it's people contact and you know what they say...the more adaptable you are the more easily employed you are.
So, if you think that just doing your ONE job super good is enough, it's not. You need to be able to do many different things. Remember...you heard it here.

Yesterday I had my 2nd Pathophysiology test...I believe I made a 79%...which is about a B in that class. Good. Two more tests to go then I'm done with that part of it.

The RN stuff starts june 1st, but before that is the crazy time. The points where I have to figure out how I will juggle family, work, getting the kids back and forth, homework and clinicals (which is working a shitload for free). This is a big transition year for us because it is also when Olive starts school. Good in someways, bad in others. I am going to keep saying that change is good and when one door closes, another opens and ya gotta just keep on goin.

I have to get to the Surgery Department and figure out what my "new" job will entail.
This is my first 12 hour day...

write ya later
m

Dear Synda...My slither arm warmers

Oh my god...

the buttons are the only thing left.  they will be done just in time for Summer....story of my life.

I have to study...I'm scared for the test, sometimes I just hope I know it by Osmosis...stupid Pathophysiology...all that class does is stress me out, give me zits and make me realize my liver hates me more than my kids do.

I have a zit the size of Canada on my chin...

how was the playdate?  

did the house sparkle in all of it's cleanliness?

I was looking at my ass in my jeans...I have the perfectly placed pockets, my ass looks hot...(affirmation to myself)

I think Jillian's Shred is paying off....my stomach is looking good too.   

Now my goal is to figure out how to fix that outside part of my thighs...Maybe a spray tan would work?

Spring Break is coming up.  let's run away for the day...

 

M

St. Patrick's Day realization

I just realized it probably wasn' t the best time to quit drinking. The spirit of the drunken green guy haunts me. Damn the green beer and Guinness. I'm ready for the weekend and I'm hoping that
by Monday I will have recovered from my distasteful week and will be back to my old jovial self.
Enjoy the preholiday festivities.
Write ya Monday
xo
m

etsy

I just relisted a couple of little girl tops for Spring. The are sooooo cute on, so if you know any little chickadees who could use a snappy little top...
forward them to "olivejuice" on etsy...


thanks
m

shhhhh

i haven't told a soul yet.
I was accepted into the RN program.
It starts 6/1.

Forgiving, is it all about forgetting?

Can you ever recover from not really knowing someone like you thought? When little mysteries appear, an explanation is made then it disappears to only rear it's head again down the road. Is the key to just turn a blind eye and just forget? It's a question I ask myself, often.
Flipping through a photo album of my childhood I tried to figure out when it happened. Was there an exact time, an exact place, was it a single incident or the combination of many? Teenage years are formative but are they permanent? Can they be altered? Mid 20's develop skills you carry on. Can they be fixed? Is trust an innate ability or a grown one? Did I really bring it on myself.
As a girl/woman, acceptance of yourself is imperative for your future...future growth, relationships and ability to love and trust...so when did this get taken away from me? I try not to believe it happened within my family, although very possible...alcoholic mom and Alzheiemer's dad...I believe I was on my own quite a bit, not that I minded. Did it happen when my first love decided he loved our mutual friend a little bit more than me? Did it happen when the man I loved for years went cold...or was it I who went cold? Packed his stuff and left...while I was at work. Maybe it was the prostitutes... whatever the case, I'm on a mission and lifestyle change to help myself be worth myself.
I can't make a person love me. I don't want to...but I also don't want to continue being played the fool.
It's been, and is, a long road. I am a shell of myself and my abilities are waning, yet I continue to try to forget. I cannot understand all things, and I don't pretend to be able to....but I can forget, which must be the first step of forgiving and healing.

Thanks for the encouragement

You know...
I just really needed that little bit of encouragement yesterday.
I got a call from within the hospital that they needed a MA float/perdiem to fill in.
I said, "I'll take it" It's not nursing but its patient contact and will let me use some of my skills.
I marched my little butt down to the lab, asked for a bunch of butterfly needles and tubes to practice drawing blood and crossed my fingers.
**Carlos did ask who or what was I going to practice on...I said ARMS, what the hell do you think...I'll find some somewhere... (he was nice enough to tell me to come back if there were no arms willing....there are always people in the lab willing to lend in arm...it's to make up for all the bad sticks they had to do in school.)

When I got home I got on the horn and called the ever willing Synda to get her skinny, non veined arms to my house so that I could practice. (Thank God for her) She is never excited about it, I'm pretty sure she hates needles, but she still sits there and lets me do it. I got it the first time and she only said the tourniquet hurts, and that the poke hurt like a poke...but nothing major. One tube of blood and a bit of relief I think I'm ok.
I need a few more arms to practice on...but this is a start.

It's Friday and after I work a bit maybe I can come up with something real to post. It's been a few dry months.

xoxox
write ya later

Sometime it's just not worth it

Remember all that complaining about school? Well now I'm really going to complain.
I'm irritated. I'm irritated that school is the way to go, so I did that, yet I can't get a job with the LPN lisc. I got. It's killing me. I am one of those people who wants to help people. I enjoy it, but an online resume just doesn't come through for me. I am smart. I can use computers (which is saying more than most), I am friendly, and I'm an excellent employee...why can't someone give me a try? "We need more experience"...Yeah I get that part of it, but how the EFF do I get experience if no one will hire me? I will be going onto RN and I know there are a ton of jobs for RN's but what if the same thing happens? What if they say, "new grad? no thanks?"
Right now, I just keep plodding on. I have applied for about 25 jobs. Nothing. One place actually said my schedule was too busy. Hello? I can't quit the job I have to just go look for other jobs...would that be smart? Come on...I told them I am actively looking for a LPN job, my current employment knows this and is encouraging me to continue on with nursing, so if I find a LPN job I will leave this job for the new. What's the big deal?
Well...I can't make things happen. What happens happens....

Yesterday I put it all aside and just sat and knitted. Told myself to finish something it will make me feel better. I went to school in the evening and when I got home Ilin (12 year old) had made dinner for me :) He made our favorite Toodly Noodle. It was in the fridge just waiting for us.

it was so nice. then he made cookies. ...that was even nicer.
I guess something pay off.

Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting.... Yah!

I gave up beer for Lent.
Let's put it this way, I'm trying to give up beer for Lent. The way I look at it is , God will forgive me if I don't do very well.
Last night was the first night I went to bed without a sip from the micro-brew Gods and I tell you what...I had insane dreams!
Normally I don't sleep. I sleep for about 2 hours then I toss and turn and think about the laundry, strangling the kids, stuffing socks into Bobby's snoring mouth, ripping the dogs toenails out one by one, but last night...last night...I slept like a log.
I guess I would call it sleeping. I was Karate chopping through my dream, doing spins up to the top of my book case, quickly dusting while I was up there, and then smacking the floor with a "HiYAH!!!" It was crazy. I was like Spongebob square pants on crack in my dream! I never sleep like that...well not without Xanax. So this morning, I'm refreshed, at work, PMS ing and thinking about how everyone should be Kung-fu fighting in their sleep.

I gotta get to work. I got written up again for not closing my drawer, which basically means not turning all of your programs off. This is the 2nd time in the year...after 4 times in a 12 month period I get canned. hahahahahah...funny huh? I have people in my office who don't call in or show up for work and I'm going to get canned for not closing my drawer...typical