Nursing report Telemetry

I'm trying something for my friends at Allnurses.  seeing if I can figure out a way to upload a report for them to copy.  If you are an RN and want a report, feel free to copy this one.  I think if you click the picture you can save it and print it full size.

YO...I'm not dead...just tired

I'm not dead, I have just been working a crazy schedule, along with dealing with the kids: Homecoming,book fairs, conferences...it barely leaves any time for myself.

Hmmmph.

I started a little project, maybe even one I can finish.

It's going to be a Pixel Painting.

I had Bobby take this picture (I'm not going to say what it is) and Pixelate it in PS.

We Pixelated it down to about 8 shades of black,...ummmm you know, greys and such.

I am right now attempting to number them.

This is taking longer than expected due to drinking.  It is my day off and I like to live to the fullest on those days, so if I have to art it up while a bit tipsy I'll have to face the consequences right?

Once I get it all numbered in my 1" boxes I will start mixing the paint, then Off I will go!

Note to everyone, I have never painted before...so this is a crap shoot. 

Here's a short real life story for you.

At work the other night, I cleaned up so much poop I thought I was working at the Zoo.

I had a lil ol lady who every time I stood her up to get on the potty it would just pour out, even through her depends.  (not so dependable in that moment).  At one point she asked what we did to her?  "why did you do this to me? in a thick Jewish accent)...You are a very bad person."  I gently explained to her, as I hopped from one Dansko to the other, it was the other nurse, NOT me.  I would never do this to anyone especially knowing I had to clean it up.
She realized I was right then said "You Poor Poor Child, why do you do this work?"
I replied, "Right now, I haven't a clue".

The splatter was amazing.  My CNA was growling and I was wishing I had on full terrorist gear.

After approximately 4 hours of water poop she stopped...like a miracle of sorts.

This was only 1 of 5 of my patients and 4 of them were incontinent to stool as we say in the biz.

My night was long and stinky...

Finally the shift ended, and as I sat in my car, organizing myself for the drive home, I learned a valuable lesson.

Never use the Heated leather seats when you smell like shit.

It amplifies it 20 fold, and in a small car it is bad bad news.

There...don't tell me I have never taught you anything.

xo,

m

Medication Error lesson.

My new job is going ok...just in case you were wondering.

Tonight is night 3 of 3, which is often easier because you usually have the same patients.  

I had my first real Medication Error last night.  OMG, you are thinking?   Well people, it happens, and I'm gonna tell you how.  It happens to all RNs at some point and it is scary but it makes us realize that we are human, and we MUST take our time when nursing.  Nothing is that rushed that we can't take our TIME!!!!  Let me preface this little lesson by saying it could have been a LOT worse.  I didn't kill anyone, thank god!  And it wasn't a drug which would have killed anyone in the dose I was giving it.

When I got on shift, my patient needed pain meds for a Femur surgery he had 3 days prior.  He was taking Percocet (aka Oxycodone with a bit of tylenol...aka Hillbilly heroin).  The nurse gave me the info in report that she had given 2 percocets at 500pm (my shift started at 7)  I was busy at the start of shift, I took my time and looked over the medication lists for all my patients and started my assessments.  I did my eval on the patient who needed pain meds and went to get his meds.  I pulled up the medication which he could have up to 2 pills evey 6 hours.  I  got the 2 pills and gave the patient the medications at 830 pm.   When I went to mark the medications off the list and verify that I had given them on the computer charting, it gave me a notification that the medications had all ready been pulled.   The previous nurse had not signed the order, which in return allowed me to give him the med again  :(

Basically the guy was double dosed.  Good news, he was huge, and that medication is often given to chronic pain patients every 3 hours.  Outcome? : patient slept like a rock, snoring like a champ...might I add Pain Free, all night long....and I learned to double check every thing, and then check again.

The living room is coming along nicely.  Walls are painted a Ginger Yellow, 1 set of white curtains hung, but still need hemmed.  One more set of curtains need pinned and hung then hemmed....then new furniture.  

We got a loan for the roof and the bathroom.  I have sent the check for the roof, so that is first.

I have fallen behind in my cash savings which freaks me out, but this next pay check (my first as a fulltime night RN) should help.

I was inspired by a couple of friends of facebook to start my running training again.

so 5k 4 days a week is on my list.

Anyone else want to train?

I did what I am now calling P35.5x 9  because I don't have time for 90 minutes of workouts.

new job tonight

Tonight I head to my new employment.  

I will be training with someone I have never met, on a floor I've never been to, and with people I don't know.  I don't even know where the bathroom is.  I have had to take an EKG test, which went ok...and now a BKAT which is a basic nursing test which I can't remember anything on.

I will be learning new things which I wasn't worried about until today.  I printed a common drug list for the cardiac drugs and I am reviewing my emergency drugs.  It's like going back to school.  I am hoping and praying they don't think I'm an idiot.  Which, honestly, right now I am feeling like one.  I hope that I haven't made the wrong decision.  Leaving the comfort of my other floor where I knew something and knew the people for unknown territory.  I keep hearing Liz's voice , "you will be back."  Was it a premonition or just a snarky remark to send me off.

When I left my job I always thought there would be an email of thanks or a party or something.  6 years of my life, and i just walked off the floor at the end of my shift and no one said a word except for one older nurse who said she was sad I was leaving.  

My schedule for the next few days is a bit hectic.  They scheduled me every other night which would kill the normal person, but I'm going to suck it up and just go for it.

Please keep your fingers crossed for me.

write ya later,

m

Just don't wear Purple

Last night was my 5 year anniversary at the hospital.  They spend all the money we should probably get in raises and bonuses on this yearly employee banquet, or so it seems.  Free dinner, open bar and free parking.  All to recognize the work we do as low end community hospital employees.  

I had asked Bobby if he would join me at this shindig, I don't usually attend, but figured it was the adult thing to do.  Bobby begrudgingly said yes.

We arrived halfway through "social hour"...thank god.  Let me rephrase that, if I hadn't given up drinking for Lent it would have been a different story....Open bar, people I could care less about and free little quiches.  Bobby got himself a Fat Tire and Babbled on three or four minutes about how he swears it isn't Fat Tire....they must have but Abbey or Coors Light into the Fat Tire bottle.  Yeah, shut up and drink it. 

 People meandered about in the ball room which was louder than an airplane hanger full of screaming lemurs.  That's nurses for ya.  Eventually they will learn that not everyone is deaf, and you can talk at a lower level and still be heard.  But not tonight.

"hi, Myssi, wow...you clean up well."

???

"Look at Youuuu, you look great."

wtf? 

I didn't realize I usually look like shit.  I mean, the light is a little bit better in here, but really?

Bobby kept asking, "Who is that?  What is that person't name?"  

I don't know...can't remember...???

"you do work with these people right?"

YESSSS, I just don't remember...they all look the same.

I wish I was drinking.

We wandered into the dining area to find our table.  #50...Is that where the aliens arrived? No, that's area 51...ok...good...you could have fooled me.

Let me just tell you something.  This is a note to everyone.  As you get older, I don't care what Maya Angelou says....forget the Purple, ditch the magenta, try a bit of slimming Black, and not in MooMoo style. 

this is what the buffet line looked like to me

 What the hell? Is there a store called Smocks and Frocks?  Where do they get this stuff?   Don't do it.  Would have been better off wearing your scrubs, in dayglo pink.

And Men...It's not a safari, put on something other than khaki pants and fleece pullover.

I realize it's Boulder, but not Africa.  

Before my ass hit the seat, Bobby pointed out that all the larger older folk were all ready in line to eat.  Wow, they must know something we don't so we scrambled for the line...safely hidden behind a large magenta wearing lady.  We made it through the line, getting the typical salad and non exciting food.  Bobby got some sliced RoastBeef that was cold as ice cubes and I was scurried off to the "vegetarian section" where they piled my plate full of crap like overcooked zucchini and eggplant, blech...whatever happened to ol cheese lasagna and a piece of bread?

I don't know, these things aren't my thing, unless someone slips off the stage, or drops their entire plate of food.  No one got crazy drunk and ripped their shirt off.  (or smock, probably because smocks are hard to maneuver)

The only exciting thing was that I won the center piece on the table.  I gave it to the lady across from me, who honestly looked sad she didn't win it.

I hope that didn't count as my date night...although I did hear Bobby say "this is great,  I get off free, minus the gas money, for date night" to someone.  damn him.

next year I'm drinking, Lent or no Lent.

Ps I did steal a small plate and pile it full of all the leftover desserts that were on our table.  Ghetto?  Yes...

but oh so rewarding.

write ya later,

m

invasion of teens privacy...nursing

short quick note...

because I should take a nap so I'm not doing a 24 hour awake thing again.

I'm going on my 4th 12hour shift this week.  If I'm going to pay off the bills I might as well get it done and not lolligag about it.  

2 of those shifts are callback which means time and a half pay (golden time).

That is the whole idea with the nursing schedule. Pick your shifts wisely.  Pick them in the beginning of the week so when they need help in the middle to end you are getting CB and overtime which can triple your pay per hour.  So, remember that, lil nurses.!

Story of the week:

Took care of a teenager...which is not very common at our hospital because we have a children's hospital...but this kid needed orthopedic nursing so ,voila....It was me.

Kid was snowboarding, went off a jump...and landed on his ass.  How many times have we or our kids done this?

many

well...

this lil bruiser, broke his hip and had a spine fracture...c4-c5 (cervical)...and pretty darn close to that oh so worry some c1

(look it up)

I'm not gonna go on and on about how awesome this 18 year old was...but he was.

When he came to the floor his parents were totally whacked out and freaked out and controlling.  They wouldn't let us put a foley catheter in his penis so that he wouldn't have to get up to use the bathroom.

They kept saying he didn't NEED pain medicine...

Damn, the kid broke his hip and back!

One thing after the next.

I finally smiled to the parents and said, "He's 18...I'm going to talk to him in private"

Ooooh nelly...they didn't much like that, but it is what it is.

As the kid was laying in the bed whimpering I leaned over him and said,

"Hey you...were you wearing your helmet?..."

~~~yeah

"well, it looks like to me that damn thing did ya no good....you could have used an ass helmet."

he got a big smile and laughed

I asked him if his friends took a picture....

~~~no  :(

"crappy friends you got there...man, that was probably air of a lifetime and NO ONE took a picture!?"

So...that was my interaction...

But I did have him back the next night, per request!

His family stated they absolutely did not care for the nurse they had the rest of the shift and could they please, request someone else...preferably that girl with the tattoos.

It's hard for me taking care of these younger kids.  

The girls are fine but the boys, there is a thin, thin line.

They need help, yet they get so embarrassed.  They have no idea what is going on and what is right or wrong.

When this kid had to go the bathroom, I showed him the urinal, explained how to use it, and gave him some privacy.

5 minutes later the light for his room was ringing.

"I can't do this laying down or sitting in the bed....I have to stand"

Ok, kiddo...No problem...let's get ya up, and I'll tell ya what, I'm going to try to do this as dignified for you as possible,  I'll turn around backwards and you can hold onto my short lil shoulder and I wont look.

"ok"

~~~grimace,grunt, grimace~~~

He was up...everything in place, and started to pee...

then he says to me....

I think I have to poop...

I think I might have pooped.

~~~~Hmmmmm....

I gently lift the back of his gown and say..."nope nothing...shew, thank goodness!"

Heehee

"I can get you a bedside commode and you can go potty right next to the bed"

~~~can I pee in there too?

"yup, multi functioning!  It's your lucky day."

All went well with the bedside commode.

He called, he had done his business and was ready to get back into bed.

I come in with the wet wipes and all the stuff we need to clean up...

I take one look at him and say, "Ok...million dollar question, can you reach to wipe? Because I, personally have no problem doing it, but if you would rather, you definitely can..."

he attempts to reach back then looked at me with these teared up eyes and said, "can you please just do it for me?"

Yes sir...short and sweet... I promise I will try to be gentle

swoosh...done

"thank you"

The next morning when I was leaving his dad came up to me and gave me a full body awkward hug and kiss on the cheek and said,

"thank you so much...you were so awesome."

No, your kid is awesome...even if his hair is sticking up crazy,,,someone needs to take a picture and facebook that business!

a day's work...

sometimes it is so worth it

Time warp again

longest days are the weekends, yet the shortest too.  I work...the family enjoys the wonders of the weekend.  Riding motorcycles, drinking beers, sleepovers, and snowboarding...while I rest to leave for work they play...while I work they sleep and are ready to play again in the morning.

I try to suck it up and smile, but when the sun comes out and shines I just want to go drink beer and play too...not get ready for work.

It's part of the job...suck it up big girl

New Job?

Not to jinx it, but the nursing floor I have been wanting to work on has emailed me  :)

It is exciting and scary at the same time.  I have a cohort who works up there and he has been so flipping helpful trying to get me up there.  Not sure if he's doing it because he thinks I would be a good fit, or because he needs another whack job goofball up there so he isn't alone. Whatever the case I will be starting to pick up shifts on telemetry, learning about open heart patients.  

(wish i knew who to give credit to, it's gorgeous )

My main goal of all this is to be well rounded enough to do care around the world.  A base knowledge to help me.

My Red Cross Disaster classes are starting up and that will give me one more progression.

The director there has put me on the list for international travel which thrills me to death.

I'm not ready yet, but to be picked to go is an honor.

On my plate for this week:

it's -8 this morning and I will not be running in that.

I finished a cool hat for Bobby, which he doesn't much care for I guess (picture coming soon)

I'm working on something for a girl from Facebook in exchange for a few CD's

Lastly,

I miss my girls, alot

I miss Synda...

I miss Kris (she's around the corner but she can't come out to play until it heats up to 65 outside)

I have many things on my mind.

write you later

m

Golden Showers

What do you need to read my writings???

Humor, 

A beer or whiskey (and I don't really care if its 7am)

Visualization

and a strong stomach.

If you have those few things, this could be an enjoyable year for you.

Things happen, and not always for the better.

I believe the only way to honestly get through some of this is to look at the big picture and just laugh out loud.

Going through life embarrassed of the idiotic things you have gotten yourself into is no way to live, that is why I choose to lay it on the line.  Layin' it out so YOU don't have to be embarrassed anymore.

Roll with it.

On with this weekends adventures in nursing.

I have been reading the poetic writings of Patti Smith.  She describes the first time she sees a swan as a young girl.  Majestically floating along the top of the glass lake, noble, mystical and grand.  A startling noise and up it rose from the water... a sight hardly ever seen.  Splashing it's long wings along the waters glassy top, spreading it's beauty for all to see....streams and droplets of the clear water, spraying from its body as it takes flight...

I've never seen a swan in flight.  I don't believe I've ever even seen a picture of a swan in flight. The spray of it's wings.
I'll tell you what I have seen.....
He was almost 7' tall, which is irrelevant when laying in a hospital bed.  He calls me to the room, " I want to get up and walk."
OK...we can do that.  Let me get everything together.
Walker, back brace, non slip socks, gait belt....
check, check, check ,and check.
All righty my friend ...let's do this.
He struggles to log roll to his side, grasps the side rail of the bed and pushes up, yelping in pain.
Hey, Breathe...when you hold your breath it hurst worse.
He glares at me.
He's upright...wowza.  I reach for the walker and notice for the first time, that the height of the side of the walker is up to my chest.  (Normally they should be at your waist).
We put the back brace on, he doesn't budge to help himself which I find pretty normal for men in the mid 40 age range.  He lets me, or expects me, to do the entire thing.  I babble on about how it will get easier the more times he does it...he just sits there grunting.

Ok...lets see if you can get up.
He grasps the walker and I use all my body strength to brace the walker to the ground.  I put my little foot in front of the one wheel and push down with all 5'1" of my frame so that he doesn't tip it over when he tries to stand.
1,2,3!....
He's UP...7'
Dude...you are huge.
"You are short."
I prefer petite.
He laughs a bit, "Ouch, it hurts."
Yeah, you had a huge surgery, L1-S1 ...that is a big ass back surgery.
"I gotta pee, get me my pee can."
Yes sir, One urinal coming up.  Are you ok?  Breathe, and please God, don't tip over while I grab this.
"I'm fine, hurry up...I gotta go, not sure if I can hold it."
I hustle back with the urinal, rubber gloves on, and reach for his britches.
"I can do it, I can, wait, move, watch out, let me do this, I can do this..."
Ok, but do you need some help getting...you know organized there?  Don't
fall over because if you start to go, I'm breaking my Nursing Oath and getting the hell outta the way.
He smiles, " I got this, been doing it for 46 years or so"
I turn around and give him a bit of privacy, make busy time folding blankets and throwing things away.  I can hear him let out a stifled breath as he starts to urinate into the urinal.
You doing ok....?
"yea,,,geez, this is painful, I hope this thing doesn't overflow."
Yea, I'm with ya on that one.
I turn around to make sure he is just joking.....not really joking.  He is almost up to a liter in pee.
Hey, gettin pretty close there....
"yea, yea, I'm done, I'm done, I have to sit down...ow, ow...everything hurts, here here, take this quick!  take it..."
I turn and start to step towards him just as he lowers the urinal from his man parts...
It was like a flash of lightening, a stream of urine comes shooting directly towards my face, which is about eye level with his waist (did I mention he's 7' tall?...ok then, picture it)
I yelp, and duck and cover, just as I had once learned, not in nursing school, but in the 1st grade for bomb shrapnel safety.  The stream arches past  my face as I turn and swishes across my pants and shoes.
"I'm Sorry, I'm Sorry!!!! this is so embarrassing!!! I thought I was done!  I'm sorry"
Bwahahahahaha, I start laughing hysterically.
I throw the blankets I was folding into the puddle as he continues to beg for forgiveness.
It's ok...It's funny...just my pants, and you know, it could have been worse, my mouth was in the direct line of fire!  If I had been yammering as usual I could have got a bit more of a surprise...
"Well,at least you don't have to do the laundry. Right?"
Yea, at least.  I smile.
"I'm so sorry, this is really degrading.....hey, has anyone ever told you you look like that chick from that TV show?"
??? (here I just wait for it, and repeat exactly what he's going to say in my head silently)
"you know, right?, that show...Ummmm  30 Rock?  You look just like her...cute...but shorter"
Thanks...I guess you could have said Sara Palin...but yes, someone has said that before.
Tina Fey.  I smile to myself.
He's now back into bed.  Calming down and still mortified as I continue to mop up the puddle with blankets and towels...trying not to grimace at the whiplashed pee stripe across my scrub pants.
"Thanks...I am sorry....you do...you look just like her, I can't wait to tell my friend Tina Fey was my nurse."

Now it wasn't quite like a majestic stream from a swans flight.  Yet when I read that line from Patti Smith's book The Kids it was exactly how I pictured it.  An arch of glistening, sparkling fluid shooting across the room...poetic; wonderfully poetic.


xo,
write ya later,
m

job interview

I have another job interview today.  A bit exciting.  If it's meant to be it will be.  Some of the other nurses frown upon going out and applying for new jobs when you are a fresh nurse but...everyone starts somewhere.  We are all new at one time and how else are you to learn anything.  So, I say go for it!

I've printed off my resume

should I bring my recommendation letters from last year?   

I think i will.

what the hell right?

I hope they don't ask anything too crazy.

later guys!

Working with a smile

"thanks you for coming to work with a smile on your face"

hmmm?  This was presented to me in my work mailbox attached to a snickers.  Isn't that nice?  It's nice to be appreciated once in a while.  Working the night shift as an RN is not the easiest, wait, let me take that back,  it's  not the easiest to actually go to work.   It's not the work, its the going to work that is horrible.   The 12 hour shifts will suck the all mighty bejesus outta ya just thinking about it.  They tell me days are better.  Who knows, but what I will tell you is that it makes for an exceptionally long shift if you come to work all bitched out, and up, and with a bad attititude.   I, personally, like to wear pony tails, which I am too old too wear, goofy hair accessories, and have an arsenal of silly jokes to start the shift.  Sure, I know my vim and vigor is irritating  to some, but being sick, sucks...working 12 hour night shift when the rest of the world is asleep sucks....and I'll tell you something else...the patient never ever remembers the night nurse ,after the fact.  The family will sometimes send a thank you card thanking the "nurse" who did such an exceptional job taking care of the patient in their time of need.  It's always inevitably the day nurse...name and everything.   grrrr...Let's see last night, I had a patient who puked up a liter of vomit, and who was there to clean it up and wipe his brow?  (A LITER!!!!   LIKE A LITER OF POP!!!!)  That would be me, thank you very much, the night nurse....He did thank me for all I did, But ,I guarantee, when his wife sends the THANK YOU card it will be the day nurse, because that is when she was there and what she remembers....He'll only remember the perky redheaded nurse who cracked the joke about "Poop and vomit"...but he won't remember my name.  yeah yeah, I know he's thankful, and I'm happy to help.   

The point is, coming to work with a smile on your face shouldn't be an option when you are a nurse....it should be  a given and we shouldn't be rewarded for such things....although it was nice, and the snickers was good at 4AM too.

Boost of confidence.

"Just let me finish in these 2 rooms then we are heading into that room and you ARE going to do it."

~"D, I hate it, I'm horrible at it, I'm sucky...I don't want to"

"Yes, Myssi...You are going to do it and I'll give you moral support, you will be fine.  He's 90 year's old and high as a kite on Morphine, and did you see those veins?  They are like garden hoses!"

~" All right!  damnit all...you're right...if I'm ever going to progress from this area of nursing I have to perfect more skills than humor and but wiping... I'm doing it, and if I can't...then YOU will do it, right?"

"you'll get it.  Meet ya in the room"

I set up my stuff next to the little sick old man who is moaning about his sore legs and aching head.  (that's nothing mister, wait til I start digging around in your arm.)

I got all my stuff together in a pile.  D came in and gave me a few little tricks, use a chuck pad, so the gushing blood is easier to clean up, have your tagaderm and stuff all opened and ready, check the needle, advance the catheter...picture the inside if the vein.  

"HUH?"

picturing, picturing,  Tie the tourniquet, feel the big fat vein (should feel like a trampoline...boing boing boing)  clean with chloraprep...visualize...POKE...

OOOH...oooooohh

"Myssi, Advance it a bit more...just push it in..."

OM My god...thank god he's on Morphine...

Why am I such a wuss?

"D,It's in...wait why's it so damn bloody?"  

"Because you got it in the right place...rockstar!  good-job!"

So, I was so excited about hitting the vein that I forgot to do the other stuff, so thank god D was there to :

1. pull off the tourniquet so the old man didn't lose all if his blood onto the pad.

2. grab the tagaderm

3. help me put the flush on.

4. tape that sucker down.

5. and pat me on the back...because I was all happy and doing the happy dance.

To seasoned nurses this is silly.  For me, a big confidence booster.  I at least hit the vein.

I only want to ask the nursing gods to only give me 90 year old people who have no feeling in their limbs and garden hoses as veins for the next 6 months so that I can get some practice.

And just so you know, the old man said ..."Did ya get it? Because I have a headache"

End of 12.5 hour shift....

now I go home to clean the pee pee of the bottom of my shoes.

humanitarianism

I have a dream...boy, Myssi, how original huh? I'm ready to start setting my goals for the next portion of my life. I want to travel and help...

Any suggestions? Anyone ever done anything like this? I'm sure there have to be some missionaries that read this blog right? I'm not quite in the missionary position...HAHAHAHA, joke, I'm not wanting to be a missionary...just a nurse and a smile.

write ya later

Who's Roof?

My assignment was typical this weekend as the low man on the totem pole. Nursing is like any other hierarchy, except with grosser bottom dwellar tasks. I am always given the maximum amount of patients when I come on the shift. They say this is so I don't get any "Admits" as the 12 hour shift progresses. This of course is never the actual case, because I always seem to get "just one more admit" on top of my 5 patients to start.
(Let me give you the set up: I work Orthopedics and Neuro, 12 hour shifts at night. Orthopedics are people who have their knees chopped in half then put together. They can't walk without help. There are 2 types of people who have their bones fixed. Really healthy people who are Type A personalities who have bad knees or joints because they exercised the shit out of their selves to be perfect....or totally unhealthy over weight people who's joints just quit under stress. Either way ...they can't move on their own.)
My Patients for Saturday night were a bit on the odd side, meaning: no other nurse in their right mind would want them. Being the newbie I have no choice, I take what is left over. I had 4 patients who were incontinent of bowel and urine ( laymen's: crap an pee into diaper, if lucky), AMS (laymen's: altered mental status ie: crazy as a sack of nuts), and unable to ambulate (laymen's: can't roll outta bed or move on own).
The night began with report that the one young patient, 49 year old real estate agent, was verbally abusive and not willing to take any guidance, 3 other patients: whack jobs and screamers...with bed sores, and the last a nice man who hasn't pooped in 5 days (which will make any one crazy).
I'm gonna skip telling you about the non pooper because he was kind. I'm gonna head right into the oddity i call my new job : NURSING. It all started with screaming from my room closer to the nurses station. I headed in...there was a little old lady with a ski tabagon on, in the 75degree room, covered up to her neck in blankets yelling "i'm OLLLLLDDDDDDDD i can't take it any more!!!!" Can't take what? you are just laying here in bed! I nicely changed her Depends, reorganized her, crammed pillows along each side to lift her off her coccyx, gave a sip of her "fancy orange juice" , and told her I am starting to feel old too...go to sleep its 10 pm.
I could hear my other patient's bed alarm going off (which is what we use to keep people from trying to get out of bed...and to alert us if they do). Obviously I ran straight in there to see my other whacky lady, who came in with hallucinations, barking, "get me DOOOOWN!!!!" Down from where? Huh?
So I push the buttons on her bed and it goes down ever so slightly. (i'm so smart, I think). "Get me the Hell DOOOWN!!!!"
Ok Jackie...look at me...let me look at your eyes. She gazes some very vacant looking little pinpoint eyes at me. I take my flashlight and shine them in...Pow... she refocuses. Jackie? Where are you? Can you tell me? "I'm floating above my bed...I can see you and me down there...I want DOWN!!!!" No shit, I bet you do....come on down ,Jackie... Come back to bed....(I'm secretly thinking in my head...go towards the light.... you are sick and very old...) come back down here, Jackie.... ( turn towards the door and yell for the charge nurse to see what her pulse is on the monitor) "it's 58 and her oxygen is 95" So her heart rate is a bit slow, but she did have some Ativan earlier... her vital signs are stable... I go back into the room... "Get ME DOOOOOOWWWWWNNNNN!"
regroup.
At this point the big hippy aide come in with his Grizzly Adams beard (it is Boulder after all )and says, "Jackie, you are down." He lowers the head of her bed thinking he is some kind of genius...yeah yeah smart one...I all ready tried that.
"Get me off this GODDAMN Roof!"
Oooh, that is new...the roof... Grizzly Aide looks at me...???
Jackie, what roof?
"OOOH I'm so high up!!! Get me down"
All the yelling is getting to me. I still have 3 other patients to see. but I'm really curious as to what I should do about "the roof".
Jackie, who's roof? What does it look like?"
"I'm ON THE ROOF GET ME DOWN, I"M SCARED!!!!!!!"
I look at Grizzly Aide and I look back at Jackie...
Jackie, are you on God's Roof? Is it Pretty?"
Grizzly Aide looks at me and says, " oh no you just didn't say that, did you?"
Well,...I did, I want to know what it looks like...
We both look at Jackie and she fades away........to sleep...( I checked!)
and then we look back at each other and start laughing.

I guess we will never know.
I still have 3 peepee patients to see and the other nurse, Zach, just leaned in this room and tells me the patient next door wants to know why she is at the bakery at this hour...
??????
I laugh...and say "Ask her if it is God's Bakery!"

he looks confused...
and it's only 1030 pm...I have 10 more hours.
hahaha
Low man on the totem pole...My charge nurse was sitting at the desk painting her finger nails.
Perfect.
Grizzly Aide laughs..."It's time to make the donuts...I'll meet you in the next room"
yup...
i'll be in in just a minute.



ps...later that evening, the young, type A, patient spent 45 minutes, after he had " an accident " in his boxers, explaining to me that his penis is small because he is sick. Really, dude? I'm soooooo looking at your flaccid little penis right now. Oh my goodness, I just want to go to God's Bar. I'm tired.

write ya later
m

Oh Yeah I Passed!!!

Forgot to tell Ya'll... passed that stupid ol' math test. Got an 82 even though I didn't finish. It took a slight load off my back to know it's almost over. I still have to pass the boards but I'm really not thinking about that right this second. Taking the boards for my RN license means I have a new career to start and it's a little daunting.

I made a promise to myself that I would take some time for myself this summer. Not jump right into anything. I want to garden...and MY YARD NEEDS IT.

I want to lay by the city pool and listen to the kids yell...and I want to take a road trip.

yeah, a fun filled road trip.

why oh WHY??

so, I go to take the second math test. I get to the testing center at 1145...thinking its open until 3. Sit down, start taking the test...feel pretty good...do the ones I know...move along...do the ones I need to work on...move along...start working on a few of the harder ones, because I have time...then the girl comes in and says,"I'm sorry, we are going to have to close in a few minutes...wrap it up"

WTF?!!!!!

not done!!!

it's only 1PM!!!

@$##%@#%@#$

ok...whatever...I did the best I could...in 45 minutes!!! they were to give me 3 hours, they should have said something...oh well, it's my fault I should have looked at the hours when I walked in.

I sent an email to the 2 instructors and said " You will be able to tell I am fully capable of doing basic math...even though I did not finish the test..."

then I got in the car and cried.

why oh why

capstone... checking out...

Capstone today: hard of hearing lady with heart failure...she keeps asking me if I would like to share her medicines. Wellllllll, I would...but I'm at work.
WHAT HONEY????!!!! I can't hear you.
perfect.
Lady #2
Everything failure...
but really sweet. so I'll keep her
Lady#3
The ultimate Boulderite...
she is allergic to EVERYTHING!!!!!
Sulfites, preservatives, latex, tape, coatings on meds, meat

OH MY GOD...
I walk in and tell her I am a student and she just about flipped her wig.
I then proceded to tell her I needed to collect from blood :)
She announced to me: "I will give you ONE chance and if you don't do it right...YOU are DONE"
holy cow lady, that is no way to talk to a student.
So I got all my stuff together ...jammed that butterfly into her vein and got the blood.
"hhhmmpf"
she said...
and my day is only half over.

On CALLLLLLLLL

Oh lord have mercy, I know I'm cursing myself by looking forward to not having to work tonight. RN's have this great system of being "on Call". My shift starts at 630pm then runs until 7 am The Forbidden Zone called the "Night Shift"...putting me on call means they can call me to come in, if needed, anytime before 4am. So, yes I am sitting in my bathrobe right now, supposedly working on a paper for school (yeah right)...waiting for the damn phone to ring. Last time I was on call I didn't get the phone call until 2 am, which really sucked.

Last night Lizaldiff and I split the shift. I worked until 11 pm and she worked from 11p til 7am. It was cool, except my night was a total cluster @uck. I got there and realized once again I had two Neuro/spine patients, which I guess I just need to figure out how to love...but they freak me out. There is so much to watch for. Liz always teaches me so much, but it's never til after the fact, as most things with nursing are...

"OOOOHHh, that makes sense, guess I should have been watching for paralysis in the legs if its a t-7 fusion. Too late, sorry next shift...they peed though!"

These are things they swear I will learn the more I do.

My first two paitents...neuro/spine. One guy was fresh out of surgery the other surgery earlier that day. My third patient was a lady who had a CVA and on top of that was blessed with the gift of hospital acquired Cdiff . For those not familiar:

(ps check out that website if ya need a laugh)

So the first part of my night was spent wiping a rear end of a very proud older woman with explosive, very contagious poopy issues.

Can you imagine? Let's hope you never have to.

With all that said, I better get back to my project on Gall Stones (so exciting I could fall outta this chair)

I just wanted ya to know I haven't forgotten about ya. I effin busy...seriously. But may 5th...I can see the light!

xoxo write ya later...

m

360 days of my life #65

360 days, originally uploaded by v8grrl.

Todays hospital clinicals

I put a straight cath foley in a little old lady with screaming diarrhea and a vagina which would scare the hair off a hyena....that is enough clinical skill to rule the world as far as I'm concerned. I need to study....I'm gonna fail my test again