Showing posts with label universe. Show all posts
Showing posts with label universe. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 5, 2019

The Bed





"in death, the bed is the very center of life"
~~~~~~Augusten Burroughs

The Bed.
To some: refuge, safety, revitalization.
To others a form of torture.
Profoundly enough, the bed is one of the most basic staples of life.

Through out life the bed holds the secrets of many things.  
As a teen my bed was a haven, a haven where my girlfriends and I talked, laughed, planned and  laid next to each other whispering about the day; secrets which were sworn to never leave the room. The bed was a fortress of safety and future endeavors.
Even at 19, I knew a bed was a necessity. A true sign of adulthood, regardless of how adult I felt, I was never above taking someone's used mattress as my own.  Nothing a new set of used sheets wouldn't fix. In my 20's in Atlanta I had an old hospital bed, which I adored. Metal frame, rickety, and I spray painted it white myself....covering up the history carried from the old Atlanta mental ward. Now, it would be considered "Shabby Chic" but then....it was not only amazing, but so perfectly me....it fit me, and me only. 
Scarves and old rosaries dangled from the metal headboard and footboard. The bed was mine. I found it , coveted it, and it brought me great nights of sleep.  


As I began to date, I was always amazed how many young men did not have a bed.  A mattress on the floor was often the case, and for me.... a no go. Bunk Beds?  OK, at least it is off the floor, But a couch? no.  
The Bed....
One needs a Bed
for fucking, learning, possibly sleeping, but mostly fucking.... 
A safety spot, a refuge, a personal womb.

As of date I have had many beds and bed frames, but have yet to acquire the safety my little metal bed, which was mine alone, brought me.
Sleep is not encouraged by my current bed, nor safety. I cannot figure it out.
My bed looks as if it should foster everything one needs to dream and rejuvenate the soul. 
expensive sheets, heated blankets, multiple pillows, light, darkness, comforters and even up and down controls.
but sleep doesn't come.

I recently met a person who swore by the bed they had.  
The Perfect Bed.
The Bed You Never Left
The Bed Which Allowed Sleep for Days.
A mystical unicorn of beds.
 When I finally was invited to look at this bed I became a believer of the respite a bed can bring.... even though I have yet to experience, as an adult, a bed as such.
This bed was soft, it was cozy, it was perfect size, it was warm, the pillows were soft and the bed purred the lucky recipient into a perfect REM dream sleep.
perfect size for one to two or three....
whatever the fancy.
music, darkness, and the perfect airflow.
Unicorn Bed

Through life:
We start in a tiny bed ....
everything we need and want, right outside baby reach
In our middle life the bed is where we connect, make love and find our hearts and dreams...
and as we lay dying:
the bed we are in becomes all we know.
It becomes our last connection to life.
people visit, memories pass, and eternal sleep ensues.


The Bed.

write ya later,
xo,
m


Tuesday, January 18, 2011

it's hard


Dear Life,

I love you.  You are hard to understand, but like I said, that doesn't mean I don't still like you.  You require me to do many things I don't enjoy, and I do them.  I don't ask many questions.  What do I get in return?
I have a knee which will not allow me to run the way I want.  You know, Lord forbid I have something I may enjoy.
I know, I know,  You gave me an awesome couple of kids.  One who never talks to me and one which starts berating me the minute she gets up.  How do you expect me to live through the teen age years?  Oh...yeah yeah, I'm sure you have something great planned for that too.
I have a man who apparently loves me, but its hard to tell...So I just keep on bugging him with my idle love chatter....hoping he will give in.
I also really enjoy how when things start to look up...You shoot it down with one bill or one small disaster...but don't think you can get rid of me that easily.  I can roll with the best of them.
The Universe is in charge of YOU and She and I are pretty tight, so even when you try to take the wind out my sail...she's got my back.  
Like I said, I do love you, Life...Right now I'm just a little pissed off at you.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

job interview


I have another job interview today.  A bit exciting.  If it's meant to be it will be.  Some of the other nurses frown upon going out and applying for new jobs when you are a fresh nurse but...everyone starts somewhere.  We are all new at one time and how else are you to learn anything.  So, I say go for it!

I've printed off my resume
should I bring my recommendation letters from last year?   
I think i will.
what the hell right?

I hope they don't ask anything too crazy.

later guys!

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Conversation with Kris...oopsie

Kris, hope you don't mind...it was funny to me.
On Feb 17, 2010, at 8:30 PM, Myssi Graves wrote:

> Thank you so much!!! And Bobby said that I have to apologize for Olives ill behavior when she left. Shees. Sorry. She said she had the best time.
> Anyways... Are we knitting this weekend? I'm off all weekend:). Let's get together



What??? No. She was great. We loved having her. Just as I thought, they entertained themselves and having her over made things easier. I love when low maintenance kids come over.

Yes! Let's knit this weekend. I read your blog. Are you giving up alcohol? If so, we can meet anywhere.

Kris

On Feb 18, 2010, at 9:14 AM, Myssi Graves wrote:
not giving up until LENT!!!

do you wanna post the SnB on ravelry?
Myssi


Sent: Thu, February 18, 2010 9:23:35 AM
Subject: Re: Oopsie

Lent started yesterday. You're funny.
Yeah, I can post it. What time works for you?
kris


On Feb 18, 2010, at 9:40 AM, Myssi Graves wrote:

shit...really??...I guess that is right...FatTuesday...then lent...my gosh my mind is a goner.
Do you think God will forgive me if I wait til Monday to quit?
I just bought a box of wine ...and you know...it will go bad. maybe I should have a "drink the Box of Wine Before God Knows party"...then quit.

hmmm
normal time is good for me
Oh yeah...is Haley going to that skating party? Olive can't skate, I mean, I could just strap em on and send her out, but she has been pretty moody lately and she may have a break down.
Myssi


Well, I'm not an expert since I'm not religious... but I think God will be fine with whenever you want to start. She probably wouldn't want you to waste the wine anyway. Or you can give up something that you didn't have yesterday and go from there... like cheese? or chocolate? or bacon?


Well, I have to try Shred still. I opened it 2 days ago... just haven't stuck it in the DVD player yet. Guess I should go do that. But I only have 5 lb dumbbells. And I'm really weak...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is why I love my friends...they are problem solvers and realistic...my friends rock


Wednesday, January 27, 2010

360 days of my life #23

update on Ed



The night was long for me,listening to each labored breath. It was the same feeling as when one of the babies had a cold and all you can do is watch and hope they breathe. Gurgle, gurgle...breathe.
Being the responsible party in charge, I was required to poke Eddie every time his breathing stopped. I knew in my head the lapses in breath were dreams and good pain meds, and as much as I wanted to pop some of his pain meds (don't think I didn't look it up), I didn't...and stayed awake the entire night. He got up 4 times to hobble down the stairs and go potty. Whimpering each step, yet still wagging his fluffy tail.
We headed back to the vet at 8 AM for the morning check up. The Dr. listened to his lungs and poked, prodded, and smiled.
"Yesterday, I honestly didn't think he would make it through the night...He really stole all our hearts yesterday. "
We aren't out of the woods...but we can see the the thick grass ahead. Rest, love and hopefully no bronchitis or pneumonia and he should be up and moving within 3 weeks.
As we all know disaster strikes fast and furious and often without a break. I try not to acknowledge the feeling of fear when I look at the calendar and know that I have gone many months without a reality check. I try to sweep it under the rug and think of the big picture with in the Universe. Everything happens for a reason.
Many things are so very minor and often silly to even fret about when I watch the news of the world. My Universe seems so trite...yet I must remember that my Universe is part of that Universe and it has it's reasons, cause and effect.

Thanks for all the great prayers and good thoughts...
and to Ms. Sara I would like to thank her for also praying for the bill :)
the total damage was 875$ this included 4 xrays...and the revisit was no charge :)
a miracle in it's own right!
Honest Dr's...who did the right thing...yet had a backup plan if things had gone wrong.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Note From the Universe


"Thanks, myssi, for every single time you ever fell in love.

Whether or not it was obvious. Whether or not it lasted. And whether or not you were loved back.

It changed everything."


I got this email this morning and it made me think about being in love...That feeling you really only get when you are young. Jesus, what if we could bottle that? People would no longer be depressed,overweight or bored. Your mind would continually be working...thinking about all those things that make the world go around. It gives me the butterflies just thinking about it.
I like to think about all the times I have been in love and not loved back. wow...ouch. But it made me stronger, it made you stronger, and it made the other person and asshole...but that is different.
It's a month till Valentine's Day and I have a special someone in my life. I actually have many special someones in my life (not as in the Swinger types),and I feel lucky.
I would love My #1 Special someone to know how much I do love him, no matter what we have been through...
As for all the other special someone's, the ones I know and the ones I will get to know in the coming years...I hope,by the little things I do, and try to do, it makes you feel and know that you are loved.
I challenge each of you to bring on the love in the next month...
Pay it forward.
Show the love to your special someone, even if they have forgotten how...You can change your world and their world.
I'd like to hear.


Monday, November 9, 2009

I'm tired....a Nursing Students Thoughts

I know I know, I say it all the time, but I am, I am tired.
Emotionally, physically and just plain old brain dead.
I think it's mostly brain dead.
My schedule is so screwed I have to ask my calendar where the hell I am supposed to be everyday and when I get there...I have to ask what class I am in, and pray I did the homework.
I really don't want to learn any more. At least not what I have to learn, now if I learn by default, that is a different story.

I have great friends and co-students who help me everyday. They make me laugh, they share their snacks, they give support and there are a couple of them that are so helpful that I wouldn't get through this without them...they are now my family. They now know my schedule and life better than my real family does. Is that a good or a bad thing...or just a nursing student thing?

We each have our own personalities...that's ok, it teaches patience...and jeez, we all could use a little more of that.

I want to tell you something, last week I was getting ready for clinicals...for the few of you who don't know what that is...it's working for free, which is fun the first semester but by the 4th...IT BLOWS!!
(back to the story)
I was rushing around trying to pull my head out of my ass while pouring dry cereal into bowls and setting timers and notes all over the kitchen so that the kids don't blow up the house while I'm gone (nursing students can't afford daycare) and my daughter says...
"What is that sticker on your arm?"
"Who knows...is it a banana sticker?...just get it off I gotta go."
She hands me the little tiny sticker...it's blue.
I read it and smiled...and started to lose it, which is normal for nursing students.
I don't really believe in God...(i know, strike me dead...please, then maybe I could get a nap in or something)...But I do believe in what you put out...you get back...It's the pay it forward/universe loves me kinda thing...
here's the sticker and what it said:
"God placed me on the earth to do a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind, I will never die."
Where that little sticker came from, I haven't a clue, but it was stuck to my sleeve for a reason. I believe that :)

Friday, February 13, 2009

Friday from the Universe

Friday...thank you, thank you for getting me through the week. My letter from the Universe ,yes I get email from the Universe, along with Hancock fabrics,Borders, and some odd email from Christian Singles(?), anyway the message said:

"Feeling incomplete does not make you so. It's how legends are born, giants are made, and history is written. It's why you're here. To ever so briefly escape your true identity as you live with an unquenchable thirst that will lead into adventures of grandeur, discovery, and a realization that love is all there is.
You so rock, M
The Universe"

With that said, today I think I will concentrate on not quantity of daily crap, but my form.
Sit back, relax, think, think:
form
I can do it...
Escape true identity...feel uneasy,do something harder than usual:
form

(if i could have photo-shopped my face on there I would have)

I have this exact pose, right now, in my office chair.
This is my preparation for the weekend.
Watch out Weekend!

All together now...