yee-haw

I am off to Montana for a week of fun for the 4th of July. A week spent drinking PBR or Coke, I will drink the PBR even though I am a dark beer drinker. The funniest thing about the 4th of July in this small, adorable town in Montana is the ping pong drop. I have always tried to capture how funny it is in pictures, but I have yet to succeed...maybe this year. The parade comes through town, usually makes a few rounds to make the fun last a little longer. After the parade a small plane flies over the crowd dropping hundreds of numbered ping pong balls. That is when the fun starts. The crowd runs into the street trying to catch as many ping pong balls as they can. Ping pong balls are everywhere and there is a mob of people climbing over each other to get just one more ball. After all, you claim prizes when you turn the balls in to the bank. It is one of the funnies things I have ever seen. There is a separate drop for the little ones, because when the balls drop watch out or you will be trampled.

In preparing for the trip I really needed to go to the store to get some food to bring along. Being a vegetarian in this beef loving town is a little tough. There isn't a grocery store and people think vegetarian is a naughty word. Even if you avoid eating any meat everything else is fried in bacon grease. It was so delicious when I was a meat eater and I always came home at least ten pounds heavier. I just ignore the bacon grease at this point and when I'm at the town bbq people don't realize that I'm eating potato salad and chips on a bun instead of a hamburger. They do kind of look at me funny when I say no to the hamburger, but I just move on down the line. I went to the grocery store tonight to get some food to take on the trip. I remembered my reusable bags but I forgot my wallet. Damn! Well, I hope I can stock up in the morning because I'm not going back to the store tonight.

Saturday

I went to Boulder for a yoga class this morning. It was a good one. Very hot and sweaty and not a typical bikram class which was a nice change. I came home so Olive and Ryland could have a playdate while Myssi and Bobby went to the Brew Fest. Unfortunately it was a rip off this year so they found an Irish pub instead, they alway find the Irish pubs.

Myssi made the CUTEST little tops for the girls this morning...before 10am, the girl says she is tired but somehow she has energy to do all of these fun crafty things, along with working full time going to school full time and being a Mom and wifey.

here are some pics of the tops

When the grownups came back they decided to take the Vespa out and try to teach Bobby how to ride. I was sweating a little, he has never ridden before (sad to say I have had the '63 Vespa for 5 years and I don't know how to ride it either, I ride bitch when we bring it out). Nice time to teach him, they have been drinking and they decide it is a good time to ride. Everything came out alright and it was fun to watch...apparently I need to take it into the shop.

While they played on the Vespa I played photographer, this pic of Bobby needs to be framed and hung on the wall

Heard there was a monkey party

Can I come?

I had to take down the

picture. It was giving my

sister nightmares.

Thank you-Thank you Very Much

Yes, I did it. I went to the Hot Yoga. I needed to buy Synda's friendship for at least a few more months.
It was good. It was hot and no matter how many people say you sweat...you have no idea. I think men may often sweat at high volumes, you know, when the play man sports, but women...we usually get a wet armpit or a little glossy. Hot Yoga----You SWEAT! My ankles were sweating. Buckets and buckets of sweat. So very sweaty I couldn't hold onto my own body parts to do some of the poses. I did it and I'm proud of myself. I'm not sure I believe I burned 800-1000 calories, although I may have sweat out a gallon of water. Afterwards we went to the Pumphouse to ruin the burn with beer. We had a huge plate of big gooey nachos and a side greek salad. Synda and I split it so as not to totally ruin the workout. I slept like a baby...didn't wake up once last night.

So here are the things I don't like about yoga (in case you are thinking of trying it)

First of all, I'm a normal punk rock kinda girl...so the entire "peaceful spirit thing" doesn't set well, but I'm working on it.

I don't like the smell. I can't figure it out. Is it the stinky mats? Or the sweaty Bamboo floor? It's not BO it's more cat pee smell. Don't like it. I'm sensitive to smell and that one is yukky.

I hate the way my belly fat rolls over my britches when we do the poses. I know it's normal but that is the absolute last thing I want to see in the mirror or when i'm "tucking my head and elongating my spine" El Fatto Rollo. It's gross and I can't concentrate.

I don't like the sounds of people moaning or ohming. I am learning to not listen but then someone will sound like they are having their first orgasm in 20 years and my concentration is shot.

Here's what I do like about Yoga

Every time I do it, I feel as if I've accomplished a task similar to climbing all the stairs at the Statue of Liberty. I want to jump up for joy and slap myself on the back when the 90 minutes are over. I actually think I did give myself a cheer yesterday, then I noticed no one else was clapping for their selves so I stopped.

I like the sweat, It's sexy.

It makes me feel pretentious for 90 minutes in my otherwise cheap ass boring life. I can be "better" than the average person for a bit. I know...that is a shitty thing to say but it's true.

I realize my body is strong and I don't look so bad for a 39 1/2 year old who has squeezed 2 very large babies from her once slender loins....with no help (thank you very much)

Here's how Yoga would be better for the average person

Comedy Yoga...it would lighten the mood. Screw that inner peace bullshit and bring on the funny. My life, and I'm sure many others, is too dull and full of crap to sit and inner reflect on what could be. Lets have some full out funny Chris Rock or Jerry Seinfield teaching the class. Those poses are hysterical and it would lighten the mood if someone said" Don't worry about the fat roll, worry about the fact the man 2 feet in front of you in the Downward Dog had broccoli salad for lunch...that is what you need to worry about"

They could offer some light beer or a nice glass of chilled wine after the session. Much more refreshing and relaxing then Synergy Yoga Piss Water.

Tell the new people to ask for help. I can't even remember my left from right when I'm in there and then they do these pretzel poses and I'm lost...they just don't make it conducive for help. You feel like an idiot

Last, but not least. I understand they don't want riff raff in there...but 15$ for a class??!!! Come on. Enough said.

i will go back...I do like it...
Today we are starting the 100 pushups...please join us on the quest for Madonna Man Arms

What a great surprise!

I can not tell you how happy I was when Myssi walked through the studio doors before class tonight! She always says she is going to take my class and every time I teach I wait for her...but tonight she was there.

Myssi, you did such a great job and you didn't give me any shit during class. I hope you come back again. Maybe next time we can take class together. I guess all it takes is eating a crapload of frosting to get you in there. The cupcakes are so cute and yummy too!

Presenting...Missssssss

Kitty

I know I'm a crappy picture taker, that is Synda's forte...So I played hookie from school to frost the cupcakes for chubs.  I just know she will love them.  They are strawberry cupcakes with cream cheese frosting.

Miss Kitty Cupcakes

Now I am going to go change and go to Synda's Hot Yoga class and try to burn off the half a container of frosting I ate  (barf).

Oh Yes....Me Likey

found this at Apartment #34

I'm so going to do this, then I'll be hanging a picture of my secret Love where that other dude is.
xoxoxo

scott w...

Why can't the higher beings above just let me get a piece of this for a while? I don't ask for much, if anything...I just need this (see above, and think naked, in 400 thread count, and not hung over)
Maybe TMI...but I'm having one of those months...Everything that can go wrong does. My new "therapist" says I need to say what I want...so I'm saying it "I want that" I believe it could help.

Anyways...that wall is sexy...and if I can't have romance, sex or food (since I'm constantly trying to thin out) I'll take the wall.

Happy #4 Olive!!!

Get Ready for Your Hello Kitty Cupcakes!!!

My Monkey Family

Thanks to Petunia Face...My new favorite thing in the world.  I just laugh and laugh and laugh some more.

morph yourself

I sit down in the computer room morphing every picture I can find into a Grecco...I was  a Boticelli for a short time...turned all the kids into Manga's...then drunks....it makes oh so happy!!!

What joy, what joy...whatever did I do without this?

my Monkeys (technically half chimp half human)

Bobonkey

Mysonkey 

Trevonkey

and by far the most adorable

Olivonkey

Bubba Ilin is still at sleep away camp...but don't think he is getting out of this little project.

This is the type of crap I do when there is a ton of other things which really demand my attention.  I have the fabulous ability to push the important things to the side, like feeding the family or doing the homework, in order to indulge my artistic side.  I grab a nice yummy beer a few cheezits and head to the computer.

The Art Master Has Arrived!

Don't be jealous...it takes no talent...go try.

A Little Pissy Myssi

I don't know...I go through phases of wanting, needing and then being content. I'm pretty sure this is all normal, but days like this I get a wee bit pissy. The days of Summer were the best days of my life not too long ago. I would spend them frolicking by the pool, riding my cruiser, going to the zoo, basically anything that would take up daylight sun during the day then I would swing on the porch swing until the bats came out at night. Lately, my days have been engulfed with time consuming shit that does nothing for my inner "myssi", except make it pissy...pissy myssi. I go through the motions day in and day out thinking is this it? I drive to work and look at all the business people doing the same thing and I think, is this where I need to be? I look at my kids when I come home and think, wouldn't it be nice to just hang out for a
bit? Of course it would! I worry about not having enough time off to take a day off but will I really think about such silly things in 2 years or will I think...Jeesus, I should have taken some days off and had a little fun.

Maybe this week or the week coming up I will just work part of a day and get the hell outta Dodge. Hang by the pool. Laugh with the kids and just relax.

yeah...no worries
m

feeling better

Heading off to the splash park for some summer fun. Yesterday afternoon and today are going much better with the four year old drama. She is back to her cute little self, hopefully that little nasty stage is over. Here's hoping.

No one told me

that four year olds could be so difficult. Man, she can turn on a dime. One minute she is the sweetest most polite little girl...the next minute VERY different!!!! When she comes out of it she is back to her adorable little self and I think that I must be a little crazy, no way could she have really just been acting so horrible, but yes...

I am going a little crazy with this age. If this is a preview for the teenage years, she will be living somewhere else or I will be in the looney bin.

this image is off of ryanottley.com, a very talented artist. Hope it is ok to post the image

olives dresser, which will never

be done...I tend to take on these stupid projects which look fabulous when someone else does them...then I start them and 4 weeks later...I'm still working on them. Not really sure if this one will ever be done, but for Olive's sake I hope so.

I have encountered multiple problems and still have the huge dresser to do. Maybe I will just do the drawers on that. This was my dresser when I was young and probably my sisters...all 4 of them...not sure. When my mom passed I got the dresser...nicotine soaked and all. I think I got a contact high from just trying to clean it. After 3 coats of Kilz, 4 coats of pink, fabric, then 6 coats of Mod Podge, 2 coats of Shellac, which in turn bubbled the fabric...I think I can sand and do one more coat then put it back in Fatty's room.

I'll take pictures when I get there.

Ilin Blue (Bubba) went away to Breckinridge for his sleep away camp...I hope that goes ok. I asked him if he wanted to take his "Stanley", little doll he sleeps with, and he looked like he did but in his head knew better than suffer the consequences at camp for bringing it. He'll be fine, Right?

Trevor came yesterday....All grown up. Teenager...stayed up to God knows how late then Bobby was having a melt down trying to get him up at 11am. We get up at about 6am...lounge about...then get moving. We sat on the front step early this morning watching the birds at the birdfeeder and a squirrel that couldn't figure out how to get the seed out. It was nice. I went for my 3 mile run, ran slower and made it the whole way...Listened to My Chemical Romance.. those songs are depressing.

This afternoon we are off to a BBQ. yummy...I bought some Fresca so I could try Princess Titsy's neighbor's husbands drink called a "Frisky"...fresca and Whiskey.
I'll let ya know

write ya later
m

What I'm Reading

So funny...had me giggling out loud on the bus.
This is from the guy who wrote " A Walk in the Woods"

ME LIKEY

Myssi just informed me of a killer sale at JCREW online...wish I had some money to blow. Found this cute little number and just stopped looking, I don't feel like getting depressed.

RING...

Platinum ring from Bobby when we first met:
about 500$

Miserable Trip to Utah to visit his family (2 years ago)
1500$

flinging Ring off finger while sleeping in car, directly into defroster vent, then paying to gt it out(2 years later)
$372.38

the fact if the diamonds and emerald had been bigger none of this would have happened
~priceless~

Bikes. Blood. Bruises.

Well...Chad got a bike for his birthday and a tag-a-long for Ryland. They have been going out biking every night and having a blast. I was starting to feel a little left out. Last night was a community bike ride. It was spur of the moment, as is everything that we do. Chad said "let's go get a bike for you so you can come with us". My birthday is coming up, so it is an early birthday present. I wanted this cruiser, but my legs are just too long for the girls version even with the seat all the way up. The guys at the shop built me a boys version, I was so lucky they had the parts in the shop. We couldn't believe how quickly they put it together, just so I could go on the ride. The ride was going very well until...you guessed it, I crashed. Totally stupid. I haven't ridden a bike for 14 years or so. Everytime a crash on a bike it is because I can't get on the sidewalk properly from the side...everytime. You would think I would learn. No. I caught the tire on the sidewalk once again. I biffed it. So emberassing... Thank goodness there was a guy who works at bike shop that was close by. My back tire wouldn't move and then my chain fell off. He fixed it all. Unfortunately he couldn't fix my big juicy bruises that I now have across my thigh. I also cut up my foot pretty good. My flip flop was soaked with blood. Well, we rode home, cleaned up my wounds and went back out to join up with the group. They all met up at a place for ice cream. I just looked at Chad and said I don't need ice cream right now, I need a beer. We headed over to a place with outdoor seating and I got my 240z Guiness. Turned out to be a great night and I broke in my sweet little bike, gotta do it sometime.

not missing...just freakin out

Sorry I haven't blogged, I was really hoping Synda would post some of her fabulous pictures from her trip and take up some page space....

Let's see...here has been my week at a glance.

Monday: Went to Therapy to help me recover my non crazy side....***note to self, it didn't make me feel better...made me feel retarded and I used half a box of kleenex and when it was all done, the "therapist lady" said, "next time you should see if the Significant Other would come...it might help". What does she mean? I can't be helped? Oh well, whatever, I'm just going to throw that to the side and think about it later...because it definitely does not help my mental status.

Tuesday: Tired...worked, went to class...CLASSSSSSSS...damn class, Micro 101...I'm freaked out about the class. I just don't quite get it and I am not good at rote memorization. I HAVE to understand how it works and where it fits in to learn it. With that said, I just am freaking out. huge test on Thursday...should have studied over the weekend, but didn't now I'm paying the freak out price. If anyone knows an easy way to remember the ATP transport in Prokaryotes, please let me know quickly!

Wednesday: Repeat Tuesday...add extra freakout. Talked to Bobby about joining me at therapy. He looked at me like, "Jeesus Christ, you can't even do therapy by yourself?" ...but could probably see the tears and said maybe it would be a good idea. Once again...not going to think about it because that just makes me think...if he thinks it's a good idea, possibly I could be crazy? whatever...worry about above stupid test.

Thursday: That is today. Super stressed, but now too late to actually do anything about it. Looking over Micro...ok, Myssi, focus on one section...we have 4 chapters to cover, if you can ace at least 2 you have a 50/50 shot of passing. (see, not crazy...really good with rationalization...or is that a crazy person trait?) whatever...focus...

That is my boring week so far. I have neglected everything, including my dear friends. Synda left me some great VM's on my phone, which I wish I could figure out how to put them on here as a sound bite because she is rambling on about how she wants to be anorexic like the "vodka carb gals" and then in another VM how she needs to do SOMETHING!!! (this all coming from a beautiful,6' blond who does yoga 4 times a week and has not an inch of ugly on her).
My neice, who is getting married NEXT YEAR keeps hounding me about dresses for Olive."what size will she be next year?" In my head I'm thinking: 1) how the hell would I know...Its a year away!, 2) Let's wait til next year...it's a year AWAY!, 3) please, I have so many things to worry about right now...I just can't think about which Target dress to buy for Olive...for a wedding which is a YEAR AWAY!!!!....but...my nice side of my brain thinks...it's a big deal to her, it's her wedding...just make up a size and if it doesn't fit NEXT year, I'll buy another one. (see, not crazy, nice and good family member)

Ok, on the last note ,before I go try to use the bathroom at the hospital, that is if I can get in there before all the vagrants come in to bathe and crap...I think I need to work out more....My armpit fat is hurting me. My toilets stink at home...I need to clean...and!!!! I wish I could figure out what happened to that double dong.

Double Dong...

I don't know how I forgot to post this this morning, because it sure brightened my day.
I started my day by missing my bus by a minute. I swear the bus driver saw me and chose to drive off and make me wait another 15 minutes for the next bus....fine, it's Friday I can relax a bit. The bus finally came, so I picked a nice comfy seat with no stinky people around me and read. Very nice to just get to read for 45 minutes. Made it to the terminal, trucked it as fast as I could to the next bus and missed that one by about a half a block...oh screw it. I'll walk. It's nice out, it's only 2 miles and I could use the fresh air.
As I was enjoying the morning sun and Spring flowers I came to the point where I had to cross the street to get to the work place. There was something oddly familiar looking in the street, but yet I couldn't put my finger on it. My mind wrestled with the form of the object. Right there, smack dab in the middle of the street, crossing the middle yellow line my mind knew exactly what it was...yet I had to walk over to see if it really was what I thought.

hmmmm

Yup...Right there...a large, black, double ended dong. What a morning. My first thought was, "Shit, who would have dropped their huge ass dong here? Did it bounce out of the truck when they were moving? Was it in their back pack on it's way to an evening of fun when it slipped out?" Next thought in my head...that thing has to be $$$$ ; it's huge....they are going to be bummed.

How does someone lose that?

After I ate, I decided to tell the lady who works with me...maybe she would have insight as to how one loses a double headed dong? She didn't, but she did agree to walk across the street with me to see if it was still there. She grabbed her cigs and I grabbed my camera...perfect Blog material!
It was gone...I was sad....she looked under the parked cars for me and even tried to cheer me up by saying, "Maybe it went into the rain gutter....or Myssi, maybe someone came back for it." I looked at her, she looked at me and we busted up laughing....

yeah maybe someone came back for it....or better yet, maybe someone picked it up and took it home.

what a day.
m

Ilin Blue is off....

Disney World!!!

He and his dad and other family received a trip for Princess Zoey from Make a Wish Foundation.
(Olive....Zoey)
What a great week they will have. We have had to keep it under wraps because his other little sissy, Princess Olive, does not get the picture straight about not being part of "their" family.
Hard concept for 4 yr olds.
Anyways, Ilin is excited, although the kid does not, and has not ever, ridden any of the rides. He's scared to death of them....he once attempted to jump out of the "Frog Hopper" ride at the Lakeside Amusement Park Kiddie Land. It was so frightening the ride attendant had to stop the ride. So, with that said we have been amping him up to at least try Peter Pan's ride or maybe the Haunted House , which is funny, but you can still see the look of fear in the kid's eyes.
Hard to experience Disney Magic when you won't step one foot near it and when your little sisters seem to show no fear of anything.

Have fun BUBBA!!!!

what's wrong

with me?

I'm exhausted. I can't get out of bed in the morning. I'm falling asleep at work. I had to go home and take a nap before school. I go to bed at 830pm. so early the kids look at me crazy.

help

I'm In LOOOOVE

David Horvitz

So Good
Makes me wanna send him $$$
LOOOOVE

art in it's finest form

xoxox

Kill me now...Please

I got to work at 5:15 this morning...that is not the problem. The problem is that they put this lady in the office to work with me, who is very nice,LOUD, but nice and now there is not enough work to do. A perfect way to make a miserably boring job more boring? Take away 4 hours of the work, and then just sit at your desk "trying to find things to do"for the remaining 4 hours.
Christ Almighty. It's now 1022 and I have read every blog on my blog roll, every blog on their blog rolls, ate my breakfast, most of my lunch, filed EVERYTHING, cleaned my desk with the toxic cleaning wipes, searched for everyone I've ever known on google(hoping to get some dirt), thought about my life, contemplated human nature, and have now finished blog #2 for the day. Thank god I don't have my camera...there are plenty of construction workers in the parking lot....I could hoope for one of those "diet coke" moments as seen on TV.

Wake me when it's over

I still have school from 2-450...maybe I'll get out of here early and take a nap.
oh yea...I made a whoppin 52 on my test yesterday...good way to start the semester.

idiot
m

funny update about Tambien

***Not what I had intended to happen....This is the letter sent to Bobby :)


"Dear Robert,
Thank you for coming down on Sunday for the car show. I feel terrible about your service that day unfortunately this is not the first e-mail I have received regarding the server that you and your wife had. I did have to fire her that day due to intoxication. Drinking on the job is not something that we promote. I would like to make amends to you both by inviting you both to our Tequila dinner that we are having tomorrow night on us. I know it is a little short notice. The dinner is featuring Ron Cooper Del Maguey line of Mezcal and introducing Sombra Mezcal. We will be serving five courses paired with those fine spirits. If you are interested please let me know. If that is not something you both are able to do I would like buy you dinner on any other night. Thank you again for letting me know about the service on Sunday. We hope that we can make it up to you any way possible."

The way to a thinner world

via Adam Carolla

(cracks me up)


Every Friday is Mandatory
"wear your swimsuit to work day"

THIS WOULD DEFINITELY KEEP ME FROM EATING THE LOAF OF FRENCH BREAD WITH MY DINNER
CAN YOU JUST IMAGINE HAVING TO WEAR YOUR SWIMSUIT EVERY FRIDAY?

weekend at Tambien Denver

Oh my flipping goodness.
Yesterday we met up with Michelle, Noah and Dahlia to go to the Rockabilly and Ribz at Tambien in Lodo. Seemed like a fine idea. Loaded up the Hotrod and off we went. As usual, halfway there i got carsixk from sucking in all the gas fumes. I felt like I was going to puke, but was able to make it. We got to Tambien and they had special parking for the rods so we didn't have to walk, which was nice. This place is right in Cherry Creek...lots of cool people, looked like it was going to be fun...THEN IT HAPPENED!!! We got the idiot waitress from HELL!!!! Ok, first...let me say I have waited tables for most of my life in every type of establishment, so I can tell when someone is having a bad day...this girl was not having a bad day...she was just awful!!!

We sat down and immedialtely she asked if we could get us something to drink...should have ordered right there, but since we had the little girls with us wanting to check out the potties and stuff first I said ,"can you give us one minute" (first mistake) she never came back. Well when she did come back she got our orders and then came back 20 minutes later carrying one drinnk at a time. Come on NOW...We are drinkers, we needed her to step it up. I'll make this short. after waiting 1 hour and 15 minutes f0r the food...we got it ate, she never came back. Michelle got up to get the check. Another 20 minutes went by...then the check came...Totally wrong. Wrong food, wrong drinks , some was right some was wrong. I went ballistic! I got up and went straight into the waitress station and said "where's the manager?" Blank stares....Then the little waitress came up and wanted to know what was wrong. WRONG? I said...I spun around like a top and just had at it.

" I have waited tables for a good 20 some years and you, young lady have given me the worst service I have ever had. I'm not sure what is going on, but the manager needs to be told. You could give a shit less and obviously don't care about making any money and in the mean time are killing off the customers. Where is the manager?!!!"

At this point she started hopping around on one foot, welling up and said ,"really?" I'll just comp. it all. I said no...that is not necessary what is necessary is a manager please.
She grabbed the check and said I got it just go.

I still couldn't find the manager, but figured I would call today. My god, it is so unlike me to blow a gasket like that but it was ridiculous and we won't go back...even though the food was pretty good. What should ahve been a 45 minute lunch ended up a 3 hour disaster.

Everything else my weekend was good. Except I got nothing done and did no workouts or studying :(

write ya later
m

what I hate

I hate that I get up early and everyone else is asleep. No one to send emails to or anything. I need a penpal

Summer Time

No it's not Synda and Me :)
(soon enough)

Well, Summertime has rolled in nice and even...The 11 year old is all ready miserably bored. I don't remember being bored during Summer, but maybe I was a little go- getter.
I loved the Summer. Judy Blume books,laying by the pool and pretending I was someone I was not, and waiting for something SO exciting to happen. It usually didn't happen...but I was ready if it did. First kiss happened in Summer...I remember it. Carl Cox...I was going into 8th grade he was going into 11th. I don't remember how we met, probably at the "mall"...or at the place we called "The Shells" where we all just hung out in the evening and drank horrible concoctions such as Everclear and Koolaide out of a trashcan. Whatever the case, he would drive to our house which was in a resort area about 35 miles from where everyone else lived. We had a pool and the beach and lots of free warm summer air.
That first kiss...I had imagined it, read about it, and knew exactly how it would be. Sweet and endearing. He came at me...I was ready...lips PUCKERED!!! I guess I didn't think my first kiss would be a tongue kiss.
The HORROR!
I was mortified. I couldn't recover from that first kiss disaster...for a long time.
I remember Carl telling me he was going to tell everyone in school I didn't know how to kiss.
It definitely put a damper on my summer romance novel I lived in my head.

The beauty of summer...it is lost so fast. The only way I can relive it as an adult is by going to a beach and feeling the warm air, listening to the waves and thinking of that summer and Judy Blume, Carl, and first kisses

To me

commitment to me, I need it
I need to know
you will be here for me
for us
as I am to you
things are up and down
yet i still have the
butterflies
we can't just keep going on
when the look
from your eyes
feel cold
I need to know there is no

dead-end in sight. 

not tomorrow

not today

I am going to need reassurance... 

more than you think right now.

I am trying to be strong 

yet not distant or cold. 

My heart sinks when you are away 

My eyes fill with tears

I can be strong

but my heart is fighting me

how do I make it ok

here I am...

Long weekend of quiet soul searching for myself. My few friends who know me know why. I am doing better and am trying to see things as they are and how they can be, but it's not up to me.

As I drove to work today i saw a few things that make me wonder...I drive by this Iris Farm...Iris's everywhere. Every color of the rainbow. Here's is the beautiful part. 2 chairs, side by side right in the middle. So that 2 people can sit and relax after a day of weeding and contemplate the beauty.
Makes me smile. Sitting in the Irises. Thinking....maybe having a beer.

I start classes again tomorrow...well, just one class....Microbiology. whoopidee doodah.

I did start working on Olive's dresser, endtables, and bed. It was my set when I was a girl and probably was my sister's before me. It sat in my mom's house forever so is now soaked in nicotine stains. I am on my 3rd coat of KILZ and that nicotine just soaks right thru. I need it to NOT soak thru so I can put the lovely shade of pink that Princess Olive picked on it. Reality has it that we should have just picked a nice shade of brown.

I'll write more later