clarification about this Blog anything that appears real is not

I would like to clarify this blog.
This is my personal space to write creatively, occasionally write real life scenarios, update with some humor posts and above all, allow people I have never met to feel free to email me and say,
"hey, thanks, that helped" or "My gosh, I would have never done that!"

So now for the clarification.
When I started this blog over 10 years ago it was a place to post my pictures from Flikr.  "Life in 365"
Those were real posts.  That was actually pictures of my life.
These posts moved on to daily life little shorts: sewing, cooking, DIY and little kid funny stuff.
At that point I realized I had a bit of love for writing humor and making people laugh.  Much at my own expense.

So writing was what I did....It gave me a time and place to sit and pull things out and make stories which are relatable or stories which would have made for a better outcome.
This blog is a creative writing space. I use some truths, and blend them into small vignettes with a ton of creative license.  While getting my BSN I did take a writing class. It opened up a new writing style for me., or shall I say a different one.  we would write sharp, quick writings  based on things which touched our lives one way or another, then we learned to turn those into short stories people may want to read....and keep coming back to read to see what happens.  Similar to chapters in a book. Fictional Memoirs is a loose term we used

If you have been reading this blog for the entire time, and I have a few friends who have.. you would have seen the break in writing and then the changed style with a similar story background when I returned. "life, relationships, family".  I had moved from humor writing to a diary of life issues I felt people could relate to.  These vignettes (and why I am having to describe my writings to anyone,I'm not sure) came from pieces of funny or dramatic past adventures and changed around to spark interest. If you were part of my past you may see some similarities...I never use names in these writings because most are only true by a hair.

Now....If you are part of my everyday life....the people I drink beer with, the people I ride with the people I go bowling with...the people IN MY REAL IMMEDIATE LIFE... you will know when it is a real post.  I will give you some hints.  It will NOT reference to a time long ago. It will usually have a real picture of present day me, such as: in running clothes, drinking a smoothie, smiling.  Or it will start by saying TODAY:  blah blah.....not "let me tell you a story, or a memory".

The writings that are heartbroken may have a reference to a certain time or feeling....but a feeling is not always a thing that people need to agree on.  These posts from "pasts" are juiced up writings so that people who read them can relate and feel better about their current situation, sometimes that goes for me too. Writing about family has always been a slippery slope, because they can see similarities and get upset that I write about it. "you are spreading lies" , "that is not how it happened"
Of course it is not how it happened.
 Do you really think my parents were swingers? Do you really think my mom could predict the future on her deathbed?  I was not even there when my mom passed, so if you know me...You would know this was a story....a story that is interesting and I wrote it.

This goes for relationships and past loves...If you are pissed or moved by one of my posts and it bothered you, that is unfortunate. If you are a past relationship of mine from many years ago, you better not be offended because when you leave, I write...and why are you here anyways ?   I definitely use creative license on those because the realities are too painful. If you were a fond memory you will be named or initialed and you will know.

This is not about your story, unless I personally name you, by name, in the writing....this is not about you. (disclaimer: there is one person I occasionally write about, and my kids, and they know when it is them....but I do not use names and occasionally those have been found to be too much and have been removed)

This is my space, I am grateful if it moves you in one way or another....but do not take anything on this blog too seriously UNLESS you are able to know the situation present day and are a close friend, as stated earlier, you will know the truth from fiction.
My writing brings my clarity and inner laughter and helps with some inner peace and sadness and I have removed many of the writings into draft mode ....I will pick and choose the ones to put back, but I am not going to stop writing....even if you don't like it.  it is like the TV...turn it off.

xo
write ya later
this is a fictional space....
do not be so touchy
m




PS.
remember, its not always about you.
PSS.
it's about me.  and my writing.

Midlife student crisis

This is Rose, not me.  

I was just reading about her at Ned Hardy.  She's 83 and back in school so at least I can feel better about not being the oldest student alive.

Have I told you lately how much I hate school?  

I especially hate school because I really have no need to go back to school except for my place of employment has demanded everyone have a Bachelor's degree in 5 years.

whoopee.

I'm almost 50....

I don't find school fun, exciting or enlightening.   

I find free time exciting, not midterms.

I find using my extra hard earned money for vacation and liquor exciting....

not for text books.

I have no interest in getting a Masters degree or such....

I am interested in saving for retirement and my little home

this shit pisses me off

But I'm glad Rose is enjoying the life of a student.

Good for her....

plus I think college is free when you are her age.

Good for Rose....

Schools Out (almost) a few hints

As a kid I couldn't wait until summer.

As an adult, I dread it!  They are home, invading my nap time, and the general Yin and Yang of things.  One of the main things- they eat you out of the house.  Kids, given ample meandering time, will ingest the weight of a small human in snacks and crap they would never usually eat.  

There are a few things you can do to help.  Lock them up, lock the food up, or shop wisely.

I tend to start least resistant first...ie:  shop wisely.

I start shopping for summer stuff about 3 weeks before school is out...STOCKPILE and hide...this is my best advice...unless you are made of money and don't care and if that was the case you would have stopped reading all ready.

I do clip coupons from the Sunday paper.  Remember, get the inserts from friends if they don't use them.  if you have 3 of the same inserts, that is fine, because you will have extra coups.  One of my mottos with coupons though, is when it becomes too much work, forget it.

One of the big no-nos is DON'T BUY STUFF YOU WOULDN'T NORMALLY BUY.

If you don't usually drink Minute Maid, don't just buy it because you have a coupon.  Whatever you usually drink is probably cheaper.  Save the coupon until it is really on sale, then use it.  The coupons posted in the sunday paper will never get you the best deal that week, gotta save them for about 2.5 weeks.  You will figure it out.

I start buying snacks 3 weeks out....because man, kids can eat some snacks, and when they bring friends over...they eat more snacks than cookie monster.

Here's an example:

Today at KingSoopers.   I was shopping, and when I got to the the bakery section where they put out the day olds and the scratch and dents I found:

Raspberry filled crumpets marked down to 1.48 from 3.50 (bought em)

Quaker oats Brown Sugar Cereal  1.89 from 4.29 (bought 3 boxes)

Rice Krispies and cocao Krispies marked down to 1.89 and I had a coupon -1.00 for 2...(bought 2)

Artesian breads .89 (bought 2)

***with the rice krispies, my kids don't really like the plain, so I mix the box of plain with the cocoa and they eat it, and it works perfect!  I take everything out of boxes so they don't know what the hell they are getting.  :)

*** the crumpets: I put them 2 at a time into bags or freezer containers and freeze them,the same with muffins.  Then when the kids want them I take them out (the night before), or add them to a lunch, frozen, when they are going some where.  Perfect for Sleepovers...I can take the whole bunch out the night before.

I also buy the day old specialty bread and freeze it for when we cook out we can make grilled bruschetta.

But the definite key with this is don't buy anything over the price you would normally spend!

Today I also bought a bunch of things that were buy 10 get 5$ off.  It was stuff like pasta...bought bags of shells for pasta salad this summer.

granola bars....bought about 6 boxes for when they go riding or we go in the car.

(AGAIN)...I take stuff out of the boxes and put it into the cabinet and regulate how much I put out, because if you put 20 bars out...they will eat 20 bars.  I put 10 out then put the rest in the hidden pantry in the garage where it is NOT really hidden but they are too lazy to go out there to get it.

I make sure I always have things they can make easily alone.

We make bean and cheese burritos 10 at a time and freeze them.  They can run the microwave all alone so I don't have to worry.  These Bean and Cheese burritos are easy and for the cost of tortillas, beans, and cheeze you can get 10-12 for the price of 3 pre-made frozens.  Plus the kids can help ya put them together.

I buy Ramen.  Not healthy, but my kids love it.

Fruit...and when the fruit starts to go south, throw it in the freezer, then the kids can use it to make smoothies in the summer.  They can run the blender alone too.

Yogurt.  I buy the cases of 12...I freeze some, the kids like it semi frozen and it lasts longer.

Cake Mix...you can get the boxed stuff for .89 when its on sale.  I always have 3-4 boxes so I can make cupcakes.  easy!

Cream cheese, for the cupcake frosting...when it's on sale for .99 i buy 4-5 of them and freeze it.  Lasts forever and its perfect for frosting.  Not so good for spreading but any baking its great for after frozen.

Otter Pops..when they go on sale for 40 for 1.99 I buy 3-4 of them and they are a staple for summer kids.

we always have fresh fruit and veggies...

I cut up radishes, carrots, melon, etc and have them in separate containers in the fridge and the kids will eat those.

Remember, if they have to cut or prepare, they are less likely to eat it....so have it ready.

Variety is the key.

So good luck...

enjoy the summer.  

360 days of my life #77

360 days of my life, originally uploaded by v8grrl.

I just got home from work, I'm studying for NCLEX, which is a mute point if I don't past a math clept test. It appears they are using me to make an example of at school.

it's ok, I'll roll with it.

My true issue right now is

my soul is lonely and unchallenged. Math is just not going to do it.

Does that make any sense to anyone but me?

The roteness of my days and the predictability of my life is tapping at my soul's door telling me to look around. Stop waiting for the end result,

enjoy the journey. Share it with yourself and enjoy.

I am Iam...

Touch, feel, love

don't be so impatient

it's right here.

what is meant to be will be.

360 days of my life # 60

is honestly sucking the life outta me

my 360 days has gone to hell

well...

i have a couple of pics to add...

but here is what I have now decided...because thats the kinda chick I am.

Bobby made coffee for me and by the time I got it this morning it was cold...so i heated it up in a pan (we have no microwave)...poured it into my cup, sat it down.

found the cup took a sip, burned the bejeezuz outta my mouth, threw the cup down cursing myself...then sat down to finish homework. Looked around my shithole of a house right now and shook my head at the dustballs of dog hair floating in the corners, hell they aren't even in the corners anymore....

they are just wandering around in plain site! I got up and left that area of the house. Went downstairs to put the sheets in the dryer and realized I have actually stopped sorting clothes before putting them in the washer. Who the hell cares? It's just underwear. If it has to be sorted washed in cold or ironed its not for me...or my family, hence the reason we look like ragamuffins. I looked around my laundry room and remembered Bobby had bought me that cool thing to put my fabrics in and to start fixing my sewing area..

well, that has taken so long he has taken it over for his guitar crap. Oh well, as my brothers used to say, "you move, you lose"

I have stopped combing my hair unless super necessary and have started just admiring Sephora catalogues yet wondering why bother. I haven't run in a week and yesterday I had to ask Bobby to "remind me again how to turn the satellite on and change the channels so that I can Watch James Bond" He shook his head in disgust. I understand...I'm disgusted to too. Who would want to live with a person who doesn't sort laundry or wear makeup...or god forbid forget to turn on the TV. I may be a lost cause. I think I need a secret admirer to get me back into the swing of things. Because if I remember correctly my mom used to say "Use it or Lose it". that would suck, but it may be too late.

I can't find my coffee.

11.5 weeks and counting

11 more weeks of school. It is so bizarro to think I will be done by summer and it will be the first summer I can relax, work part-time and hang out...and you know what? I put it in writing, hung it on my mirror and I'm holding myself to it. I want to do a little yard work, hang with the kids...you know do that stuff you other moms do...Go to Starbucks, wander around Target aimlessly, go to the library, hit the pool and be home to make dinner. I haven't done that in sooooo long. I can hardly wait. Bobby thinks I'll be bored outta my mind...Whatever happens, if you guys notice me start blabbing about signing up for some other "real school" (if it's paint a pot, don't worry)...stop me...please.

360 days of my life #44

360 days of my life, originally uploaded by v8grrl.

4.5 months to go

I only have a few minutes before I have to head back to work for a telemetry class (look it up)...but I want to say how I am sooooo not looking forward to school starting back tomorrow. Although I only have 4.5 months left and I will be an RN...I can barely stand the thought of listening to the drone of the teacher (no offense teachers). I am attempting to stay focused and not think about anything further than next week. It is way too overwhelming. As with all changes comes stress and the wonderment of what we will do upon graduation. Nursing is a job which gives you basic skills then you move on from there with experience and learning of the skills. You pick your own path from there. My path is very undecided...it's just a path...a very unknown path. I'm pretty sure I will take the path less traveled in my mind, but the ever looming thought of having days off,income where I can choose any type of toilet paper at the store and not ponder the cost, and time to spend with the family is frightening. Tomorrow starts the last bit of this frontier. I will let you know how it goes as it goes along.

school conferences

My Brain Hurts by aknacer

Man alive...I don't care for school conferences.

Ilin's 7th grade parent teacher ones were tonight. They were fine but the build up, not so fine.

When Bubba got home from school today he had that weird pasty color thing going on. I asked him what was up and he states he is getting a migraine. Migraines, the most unfair thing in the world for kids, well maybe not the most, but pretty sucky. I asked if he was seeing fairies (little blinky things in your peripherals) or auras. He said no, just everything stinks. That is a good thing when you have migraines...not good, but not as bad as auras. Gave him a tylenol and sent him to his room. I forgot to feed him. One hour later he comes out, pasty,sweaty and weird looking telling me he thinks he is going to barf. Another good mom action, give a kid a tylenol with no food....you know what is even funnier?...I'm a nurse,..ok whatever...so I lead him back to bed, hand him a piece of wonder bread and slap a cold washcloth on his head. Poor baby i hate when I can't fix things.

back to conferences....

Each teacher always says the same thing, "the kid is gifted...he just runs at B level it appears to be ok with him." His writing teacher says to me, " You know, I often use his writing as examples, I am going to enter some of his stuff in a state writing contest, did he tell you?" uh...no...

She says" He is so laid back, we just let him roll with it...if we ask him if he wants to redo a B paper for an A he always says, 'it's all cool,nah'. So the group of us teachers just feel he's just a little bored."

That's fine. I understand. If you were to meet Ilin you would just think he's a normal kid...but he's different, there is something in there, and I can't quite figure out how to help him figure it out. He's like Molasses in Winter...an introvert...does whatever. You tell him to do it, he does it but he's not going to do it unless you tell him. The teachers say he makes 100's on everything in class, except for some of the math, but he's in advanced placement math so a lot of that is based on participation so he rakes in 95% on most of that. It's just odd.

The teachers say he's an awesome kid: polite, caring, helpful, has a ton of friends, just quiet and fiddely ( I know not a real word).

And tonight that weird kid has a migraine...maybe his head is going to explode with whatever he holds onto in there.

constructive behavior

I took my lunch break and used the time to cut out a dress for Olive using McCalls Pattern M5796...I hope she loves it. I'm sure she will, the girl LOVES dresses.
I need to whip up some bloomers and buy leggings for the school year, because modest she is not and I don't think all the other little kids in her class really want to look at her Hello Kitty Panties.
I love to sew...I just hate the long process of it and I hate that I never get it right on the first round. you know?

The carpet cleaners come tonight (thank god), so we are eating veggie burgers outside, then I can sew in the sewing room.

If anyone knows of a good look for curtains I need it. I bought some fabric to curtain up my windows (yes, I just used curtain as a verb) if the craft room.
I was looking at the new BH&G and they had a little spread on the color coral.
I never liked coral, but then again, i guess I do like coral because it revved my engines. I knew Bobby wouldn't go for a room of coral so I picked my craft room aka the laundry room.

I can't wait.
but I have to, because I am a slow mover...
and occasional shaker.

Would I be laughed off the floor?

I would so buy this if it came in a different color than white, beige would be fine...maybe I'll buy it anyways. Can you imagine what my fellow RN's would say if I showd up to work wearing this and some crazy ass tights? I imagine if you are Mormon and a nurse you would wear something like this ? Correct? I think it's hot!....
just look at it, I'm serious. If more RN's still had to wear the dress...there would be less weight problems in the field .

First day of Long Term Care

I am home and relaxing after my first typical shift at a long term care facility...or what you folks know as an Old Folks Home.

I arrived promptly at 6am, figured out where I was to be, hustled my butt up there to have the LPN who was to train me, give me the once over and basically raise her hand and say, "Don't ask me any questions". Great, should be an informative first day.

My goal...try to figure out where a few of the things are, who a few of the patients are, and what the hell I'm to be doing and it what type of time frame.

Here it is summed up: Do a shitload in a short amount of time.

You start at 6am getting pills together for 27 patients and just imagine...approximately 9 pills each patient and the occasional Insulin shot. Yes...and when you get that done, you start agin because it repeats itself at noon. Luckily I got to leave at 230. I made it through, the LPN chummed up to me, because I helped and she got to sit on her duff, and I managed not to kill anyone.

For the next 2 weeks I work straight through, sometimes working 2 shifts a day. This will not include my parenting schedule (that will have to find it's own way into my life).

When I arrived home from work this afternoon, Bobby said we were going to friends house for some sort of lamb bbq? (me, I'm vegetarian). I looked at him and said, "would you be terribly disappointed if I just stayed home to finish my Pediatric Medical Calculations and then curl up on the couch?"

HUH!!! ? this is family stuff, I go to your things!!!

I almost cried, he must have seen the tears welling up and said , "OK., I guess."

thank you

thank you

thank you.

I made blackbeans,brown rice and sweet potato chunks...watched my boyfriend Anthony Bourdain, finished my homework, knitted, folded laundry and am no going to wash the MRSA off of me (which I should have done first) then hit the bed...with my book.

hugs and kisses

m

center for balance

The other night I made time for myself to go to yoga. I had missed my running due to my orientation at the new job and felt like I owed it to myself, and to Synda, to show up to something...
It was in an adorable tiny studio in Loveland and we attended the "candlelight" class. It was dark and I had no idea what I was doing. I have previously been going to the Hot Yoga classes which Synda used to teach. It's similar to Military Yoga and would kill a frail person if not knowing what to expect. Candle light yoga is more similar to flow...but it doesn't really flow if you don't know the names of the positions and have to crane your neck to figure which direction your butt is supossed to be facing.
As we worked through the class I felt confused and couldn't hold a pose. I knew it was because I was not thinking about my body I was thinking about what comes next.

As we walked home, Synda commented on how strong I am. Yes, I'm strong. But it doesn't do any good until you can use your strength.
I have no balance.
I know I have no balance in my life right now.
The lady who was with us made a fabulous comparison for me, and it really hit home.
She said," It's like a potter's wheel and clay...once you let your mind go and know your center the clay just lines right up with your body."
You have to know your center, you must have balance in your life, you must let your heart line up.
Maybe this is why I needed to go to that candlelight yoga.
center

creature in the basement

We have a raccoon coming in the dog door while we sleep...or a focx..but I don't think the fox can get open the dog food bins....he has no little fingers.  Maybe I'll try to stay up and catch it.

Monday morning...up at 515 am and it's so bright out it seems like noon.  After yesterday's tornadoes I'm ready for a quiet day.  I got Bobby up, Olive up...everyone dressed and out the door.  I dropped Olive off at Becky's and then headed home to do my 30 day shred.   

So now that I have all the crappy stuff out of the way, I can get ready for school, hit the road at 830...do school til 12 then off to work until 6...Good thing we have left overs, so that tonight there will be no cooking...  yahoooo

better put some make up on and fix my hair...

write ya later!

Cash at Hand

Where there is a will there is a way.
I was just sorting through my school paperwork and i saw something I didn't quite catch before.
My work, the hospital, will pay up to 1000$ of my school for 2009. Well, I had all ready filled out the paper work for the Patho class I took and didn't think I could go ahead and get cash for the next semester also.
Low and behold in little writing it says
"if you plan to take 2 separate semesters do ot forget to fill out a second form and submit before the second semester starts"

WOO HOOO.

My nursing transition class is 600$...should be covered in full.
Yesssssssssss!!!

Sorry for another horribly boring post...but that is pretty much my life right now

Pathophysiology

Dammit...
173 QUESTIONS
26 pages front and back

multiple choice, multiple answer (select all which apply), T/F, and fill in the blank....


i missed 49
I'll be lucky if I get a 72...
Criminy

the miracle of life

OH MY GOD!!!!   yesterday at clinicals, the ones I had nightmares about all night, were awesome.  

I walked in the door at 700 am, the teacher pushed me towards a "Salty" RN and I was off.  I walked into the room, did my silly introductions and 1 hour later was looking at the busy end of a very pregnant lady!  She gave birth at 840 am to a beautifully perfect 8.2 oz baby girl.  I got to help with the entire thing.  Afterwards I did a full baby assessment and helped with fundus massage (which, unless you take A&P) won't care or know what it is.  I have never in my life seen a baby being born from that angle!!!!  I blubbered like an idiot, well quietly blubbered, it was so beautiful and for that woman to let me stand there and help she must have been high as a kite.  Anyways, it made my Uterus ache.  I was high on baby smell all day. Bobby announced, twice, that he was fixed and to stop talking about it and not to get any hare-brained ideas like pulling some Angelina Jolie adoption ring.....what a way to shoot down my high.   

I'm sure today I'll be snapped back into reality because I have to go to "headstart" Pre-school and observe 4 yearolds....like I don't do that for free at home.

I hope all is well.  I miss my Synda...I miss my Sissy...and my Kandy....and I know this is due to lack of money, time, and the holiday spirits floating around.  I'm broke, but refuse to accept the obvious and just keep going forward.    2 more months of school then I graduate...and can work, get back into a better $$$ situation and start planning for the next round of school.  

Oh yeah, I wanted to tell everyone about TUT    www.tut.com

I'm not sure what the entire website is...someone sent it to me and then you do this little OATH about being the best you can be, and it sends you messages from the universe everyday.  I read the email first thing in the morning and it really helps.   The other day it told me to stop focusing on, but keep in sight, the big picture...focus on the small, do the best you can do and the big picture will be there.  

yeah...small is good.  That is about the most my brain can handle.

My gifted child is a num nutt

I wanted to relay a set of occurances which happened starting with my 11 year old last night and progressed all the way to the teacher.  I don't know, I thought it SO summed up my daily life...i laughed all day about it....and everyone who knows Ilin Blue just laughed also....so, sit back and read.  I've added a bit of commentary.

conversation last night as I search the middle school website for homework assignments to check if everything is being done:

:looking at website:

"Ilin, are you in Honors math?"  

Ilin(squinting at computer screen): "Uhhhhh, i don't know, I do graphs and stuff...that doesn't look or sound familiar, I don't know...I just do what they tell me....mmmm...nahhh, I'm not in Honors, no, Mom, nobody has said anything about gifted or honors anything."

mom:  "Really, didn't you test for it?   You were in it last year.  What are you doing in class, ask the teacher!"

Ilin: " Yeah ok, I'll ask, but I don't think we have HONORS."

mom: "Well, look ding-a ling, it says 'Honors Math' right here."

Ilin: "I DON'T KNOW!!!!  I just go where they tell me,,,,, it doesn't seem like Honors Math, don't you have to be smart?"

mom:  "Never mind"

email the next morning to Ex:

"Dear Ex (changed name to protect the innocent and stupid),

do you have time to get onto the westview website and email Mr. Mowry and find out why Ilin is not in the honors math?

Ilin is on the blue team.
and I want to try to get him in the harder classes. I think if he has higher classes he'll work harder.
i have school all day today and have zip time"

email Mr EX sent to school

"

Mr.. Mowry,

Hello I am Mr. EX, Ilin's dad. We want Ilin to get a firm grasp on math as early as possible and would like to know what steps we can take to try to push him into honors math.
Unfortunately math wasn't a strong point with me and we thought, if he is capable,into the honors class which would make him focus more.

I am sure he was assessed and we are just curious what he is lacking that kept him out of the honors class. I understand that some people just don't have a strong mathematical mind (like me :-)) but we want the best for Ilin if at all possible.

Thanks for the help!

Regards
Mr. EX

email I got from Mr. EX later ( heehee)

subject: Well I feel like an idiot
We'll I feel like an idiot now..........

From: Mowry R
To: Mr EX
Subject: RE:

He is in honors math, and has been since the beginning of school.

Mr. Mowry
6th Grade Blue Math
WVMS

Bwahahahahahahaha

Now that is what you call parents in the proactive form and very out of touch.

Here's my email I sent back to Mr. Ex

You know who should feel like an idiot...your gifted son who told me he has no idea what type of math he is in and is pretty sure he's NOT in the gifted or honors stuff. I said to him last night. Are you sure? he said, no one has told me anything about honors math...

ding dong
he's got your genes :)

this is totally going to keep me laughing ALLLLLLLLL DAY hahahahahahaha

Myssi Graves

this just sums it all up...

boys....MEN!!!!  NUMM NUTTS (my new fav. word)

I gotta go drink myself into happiness, although that pretty much made my day.

School Days School DAys

Starting back to nursing school today!...Zippity Doo Dah. I won't be here during the day, so I'll catch up in the evenings.

I'm going to try to figure out if I can ride my little Pink Betty bike to daycare then to school for the next month...It's about 6 miles. I'll clock it this morning and see if it's possible