Gardening Down Below

ya know....

there are certain body parts which don't get the recognition they should from me.

I just realized the other day that my vagina, vajajay, hootchie, peach, etc does not get the love it so rightly deserves .

go read some stories about falling back in love with your parts

at The Vulva Gallery

I had a Doctors appointment and , like going to the beach, I said "let's make sure the garden is tidy"

I spend time on a daily basis, cleaning and shaving around the edges etc...but I don't always go all out.

What's the point?  It's just me and it really is not like someone might come along and say ...."hey, let me critique your edging" Although it would be gladly appreciated if someone did come along and want to critique in a nice manner....

So, as I showered I teetered on one leg, lathered and shaved carefully around all the parts. front to back.... 

It brought me back to my younger years when I helped the girls at the Gold Club in Atlanta shave their tweens where they could not reach or see and we would laugh and make literal 

"smart ass remarks" ...

Those were the weird old days and how I got that job for that short amount of time I cannot even remember.

As I shaved my tween, I thought....I think I might like someone to do this for me, yet I'm not willing to go get anything waxed (way too personal)...so fancy razor and me , myself and , I it is.

When one shaves delicate areas there is a lot of yoga poses and balancing acts....

bending and hand play to get everything smooth.

The back end is harder still because the area is not so forgiving.

The final part is a nice little haircut on the front.

I have embraced hair.

I used to shave it all or leave little parts but I have since decided I like some fur....

although my fur is straight and that has always bothered me, maybe someone had commented one time?

who knows,

but I have let it grow but keep it short.

and occasionally I shave it because I, personally like the smooth feeling...

especially after a shower shave and baby oil.

women are often extremely sensitive to the looks of their lady parts down there. 

What is normal?

Why is it this way and her's is that way?

Porn only shows nice little "girl like" ones

This is so traumatizing to some women that they have taken to cutting there labias off to please the other sex's visual choice.

I don't think I have ever heard a man say...

"I'm gonna get my penis reconstructed because the ones I see on TV are huge and look like a PBR tall boy"

never....nope never

My finished manicured garden looked lovely and I was pretty sure the doctor would appreciate.

doctors appointment was a different story

all is good 

take care of your garden, and manicure that lawn anyway that makes YOU happy

Because, I think most people who enter your garden are just grateful they were invited to the garden

make sense?

love ya...

write ya later,

xo,

m

Me and , well, just me

Try to make it good….do good….be good.

We can do this 

:)

this is me.  I dont take very many pics of myself, but because of the new hair, I went for it.

I always look so big in pics.  Actually I'm 5 foot tall.  This new hair added 7 inches.

The Gknight ride for Oskar Blues in Longmont.  I got a bit dressed up.

Any way, thought I would just let you know I am still alive.

I'm getting older by the minute and apparently nothing can slow down time….

Not even a great big albino afro

Would I be laughed off the floor?

I would so buy this if it came in a different color than white, beige would be fine...maybe I'll buy it anyways. Can you imagine what my fellow RN's would say if I showd up to work wearing this and some crazy ass tights? I imagine if you are Mormon and a nurse you would wear something like this ? Correct? I think it's hot!....
just look at it, I'm serious. If more RN's still had to wear the dress...there would be less weight problems in the field .

My Sleep Sucked

As I have pointed out many times before...I don't sleep. Not by choice, but by some sort of evil curse. As Bobby lays next to me gurgling in his own snot and snores...I lie awake. I toss and turn. I listen to Love Line, then I listen to BBC America. Sometimes I lay awake and listen for wildlife....you know do all the things you do in bed except the good stuff; ie: sleeping or sex, neither of which I ever get, even by myself (TMI, It is Thursday after all).

Last night,as I listened to the whistling of Bobby's nose and gurgling of his snores I must have dozed off. Only to find myself being tortured by thoughts which were uncontrollable. The ones which remind me we have a basement just like Jon Benet's family...with a little secret room, where I am sure someone is hiding out waiting for me to fall asleep so that they can snatch my second born, and no one would hear (well, Bobby wouldn't hear,remember I don't really sleep). Thoughts of how I need to start my own business and am required to do the entire business plan while I sleep. Better yet, how I am so behind everyone else in life I should just get up now and start my new life...do things faster better and actually finish everything I start.

Last night was a night of thinking I was peeing the bed. Every 7.5 minutes I would come out of a daze and think, "oh my god...I have to pee. Did I all ready pee?" Reach down, feel the sheet. No pee. Get up wander to the bathroom, pee a dribble. Go back to bed just to do it again 7.5 minutes later. Yes I realize this is stupid, and I don't have an underlying problem. The problem is that I'm still trying to potty train the 4 year old not to wear a pull up at night so it is a direct reflection of my poor parenting skills that I must think I'm peeing the bed all night.

On top of that, Bobby's band The Mighty 18 Wheeler is having their CD release party this next week and we have been playing the new CD non stop. So much, that I can't stand to think about it (even though it rocks). So, as I went in and out of my pee filled REM state the background theme music was "My Broken Angel" from their CD. I kept yelling in my head...."this is MY dream!!! Everyone else that has to do with my normal life get the F out! Where is Brad Pitt to rub my bottom as I try to relax? Where is that mirror which makes me think I am better looking than I really am? Get OUT...Music Be gone! "

It's not fair. It's not fair that there is no escape from my reality.