Alopecia Sucks: The Regrowth

The regrowth

It falls out….then grows back.  

some spots will not ever grow back, like the spot on the top and the ones on the sides.

You can see the baby hairs growing in where he might get a bit of warmth.  They grow in grey/white.

Weird huh?

So he may got enough hair for a while to feel a bit normal.

Then….

it falls out again.

I can't even imagine.

I'm guessing this time it will be because of Algebra 2

If you know someone with Alopecia.

show them the pics and tell them to stay strong.

Don't say

"it's only hair"

xo

m

it's Back…but not

Alopecia Sucks.

he was doing ok…then he said"Mom, I got a little spot, right here on the top."

It was little.

Maybe 1/2"

We went to the Dr.

She said, Let's try some steroid shots.

He said Ok.

Then 1 month later he is back to this.  

Summer, and he won't shave it.

He won't even look at it.

He lets me take a picture every month to keep track.

 The red on his neck is a birth mark

He still hasn't told anyone.  It's his secret, under his hat.

It will last a life time.

He has lost all the hair on his legs and arms.

I wish I could make him just shave the entire thing and go hatless.

But this is not my battle.

or my head.

or my hair.

xo,

m

Dreamy, dream, dream...and one nightmare

I had been working on making the deck enjoyable for my summer of relaxing.  I came home from the store the other day and here is what I saw:

WTF!?
My worst Nightmare!!!!
He said it needed re done.  Grrrrr...

ok so scenario:  

The roof needs redone, the bathroom needs redone and now the porch ....needs redone.  I cant step out my backdoor without breaking an ankle.

I have moved everything out front.  made a sitting are in the front, but its not the same.  *pout pout*

As much as I love projects I equally hate them.  It puts my mind at unease....which does not allow me to sleep.   It makes me curl up and wait.

We are applying for a home equity loan so that we can maybe get all this done at once.

Then let me tell you what else needs done.

The carpet in the basement needs pulled up then the floor scrubbed and sealed

the living room painted and new furniture.

In the mean time...I'm gonna go out and sit and read and not think about it.

We go to Fl in 2 weeks.

I'm gonna think about that...

and about the dream I had last night where Justin Timberlake loved me.

Alot...

In my dream I had hoped it was SNL BeeGees Justin,

but it was this one

I'll Settle.

Halloween, you got my goat.

I'm taking a few minutes to eat my oatmeal before I start in on Ilin's costume.  I need the fiber, because this costume has my ass in a knot. I have to figure out how to get the fabric on the big head....It's actually baffling me.  

I helped him do the foam on the head and sliced the end of my finger off, leaving a trail of blood behind.  At that point I wanted to throw the big head thing on the floor and yell, "that's it!!! I'm done!"  but I didn't.  I got a bandaide and continued on, silently cursing the entire family and the holiday, in my head.

Halloween has alway been one of my favorite holidays, but after having children it has become a chore...you parents know what I mean...right?  It can't possibly just be me!  I mean between the costumes and the fall festivals I want to curl up in a ball and hide.

Olive brought home a piece of paper from school asking for more stuff from us for their "classroom" party.

"Mamoo...can you make MORE cupcakes?  PLEEEEEASE"  

no

"PLEEEEEASE"

I said, no.

"PLEEEEAAASSSSSSSE?"

Let those other lazy ass mom's do something, I refuse and I don't care.

***pout pout***

Olive, I'll send a bag of carrots.  How's that?

"Ok, Mamoo.  I guess veggies are on the list"

good

Last go Round.....

Next week I start my last round of clinicals and I have all ready begun my downward spiral of stomach aches and lack of sleep.  What is up with that?  I get all worked up and freaked out about the unknown and there is no one to talk to about it.  As I've stated efore, I'm not really sure if Bobby even knows where or what I do all day.  He does now know that I am in school but if he had to find my school or know my schedule...forgettaaboutit.   So, I can't talk to him.  The people at my school are all so nonchalant about everything I feel dingy telling them that I get scared....although I'll gladly tell them when I haven't taken a poop in 4 days.  

Geriatric clinicals...nursing home, smells, poopy, incontinence....and many many pills.  Let me say that again....many many pills...and I will be responsible for passing them in pudding to the correct patient at the correct time in the correct manner.  jeesus...  this is why I can't sleep...I can barely get dinner on the table for my family in a timely manner and now I have this task?  breathe.........................

I'm gonna be fine.  Right?  Aren't there any nurses out there that read this crap piece of blog?

Dear Lord....

Dear Lord,

please help me to not strangle or at least to not amputate this small creature.  I realize she means no harm.  I also understand that she was "just looking for , you know, the little thing that goes with the Little Pets".  The problem is ,Lord, I didn't understand the magnitude of upkeep one tiny child would require and without my drink of choice, which I don't have, because the keeper of the cocktails is at band practice tonight and I don't feel right going to the liquor store with kids in tow....

even if they do pass out suckers there,( I do have some morals, thank you Monsignor Cunningham) I don't think I can do this...

I have asked for help before, but this time I'm serious.

2 hours later and hugs and kisses to the My Pretty Pony Beach Cabana, Weebles Treehouse and accessories, one Fisher Price Bus with blinking lights and real horn sounds (thank you Lord) packed into Target bags and placed in the back of the car to go to Santa's Workshop so that the elves could fix them up and send them to some other kids...

question asked by small self centered child?

"so I can get more, Mammoo?"

Yessssss...So Santa can bring more shit.  Soon Honey.

yes...and I do realize the room is bland compared to most...but at least it's clean

So Lord,  Thank you for giving me the strength....

Now maybe I can go write...and also try to figure out why the entire middle half is underlined.

.

what's wrong

with me?

I'm exhausted. I can't get out of bed in the morning. I'm falling asleep at work. I had to go home and take a nap before school. I go to bed at 830pm. so early the kids look at me crazy.

help

starting to panic

so, let me tell you real quick what I did yesterday....i was going to keep it a secret because I was embarrassed. I went to class, as usual...then decided I didn't need to stay for the second half of classes (after lunch)...I thought, key word thought, they were doing return demonstrations which I don't have to do. Well, I went back to work, ran some errands, went home to watch Paula Dean (shhhh) and I got a text from a friend in class..."you missed the EXAM...where are you!" Jesus H Christ!!! Where am I ???? I'm EFFFin around in my PJ's at this moment, crappin them actually since I missed a test.

This is the story of my life. I forget things. It's like the reoccuring nightmare of not remembering my school locker # and wander about all day. Lord, I'm a grown woman. So, I spent the rest of the day freaking out, calling my teacher and STILL waiting to find out if I can retake the test. I hope my week goes better, but as far as I can tell it isn't going that way.

This Morning, when I put my nursing pants on I could barely get them over my BUTT. makes for a good start to the day. I haven't been running 4 times a week as I should be and all this sitting around...well, you know, plus my monthly friend is coming this week...I'll blame that, because my bras are killing me too. ooh and I'm a bit pissy.

Anyways I thought I would get that off my chest.
ps...if Olive doesn't get over her bossy 3 year old ways she may not live to be 4.