Oprah did it to me

The other day I managed to get off work early. I got home and because noone was around I grabbed a beer and crawled under the heated blanket and flipped on Oprah. I figured it would be a nice story about rape or AIDS but to my dismay it was all about the "Secret". I decided to watch; only other show on was a POKEMAN cartoon. It,the Oprah show, was the show and the day that has changed my past 2 weeks.

Now, if you haven't heard of the Secret, I'm not going to go into detail. The belief system has been around forever. The lowdown is that energy is energy...what you put out, you get back. HMMMM seems too easy, but try it yourself. Walk around with a big fat grin on your face and see how many people smile back at you. It is a simple feat yet it works and actually brings joy to others. Energy is energy, good brings good, bad brings bad. Got it?

The only problem I have with this is they talk about how everyone is here for a reason. Yeah! Here for a reason. This is great, that means I MUST have a reason, Oprah says, so it must be true...here is where the issue comes. I sat there, peeling the label from my empty beer thinking, "reason,calling,hmmm". Am I here to take care of kids? Please say that isn't so. I have been waiting to get into nursing school, is that it? Am I here to make people, ie: husband, kids, dogs, people at work, lives easier? I couldn't come up with my calling! Damn Oprah.

The weekend came around and I found myself asking Bobby, who by the way knows his calling and has since he was 10, "Do you know what my calling is?" "How the heck would I know your calling? Why don't you try an art class?" His answer to everything...take a class. I thought some more. Jazz Club, Art Gallery, Photography? Nothing. Damn Oprah.I asked my 10 year old, "What do you think I should do when I grow up?" He says,"Mom you make good salad. I don't know? But I want to be a Hobo that can make balloon animals." Great, I think to myself even my kid knows his calling and note to self, save money for his therapy.

For 5 days I have been asking complete strangers if they know their calling and if they have any suggestions on my calling. You would be amazed at how many people KNOW where and what they are here for! I on the other hand can't start my Secret Life because i'm clueless. I have received some great ideas. My favorite idea is to become an elephant trainer. This suggestion came with the note attatched, GOOGLE where to get an elephant. That person is a genius, he knew that would be my first question, "Where the heck will I get an elephant?" My last idea was a body builder (mostly to just see if I could complete the task) and when I told my sister, she said, "Myssi, that's a great idea...go for it, do it for your self....plus you'll look great sitting on your elephant."

She's right. I'll look great on my elephant. I can't wait to get started. Bobby thinks I'm insane anyways and he's pretty busy with band stuff so he may not even notice. The kids will enjoy the elephant.

My calling and the Secret. I want to put it out there. Yessiree, Oprah did it to me. Think about it. The same day I figured out my Calling I was sent an email from the school I'm waiting to get into that it could be another 3 years before I get in. Screw Nursing school. Elephants, smiling and buff body.

I'll keep you posted

All out of IT

The other day when I got home from work, my other half,Bobby, says to me, "Hey, where's my kiss?" My reply was quite quick and short. "Sorry, all out of that."Yup, all out. Gave the rest to the 3 year old's knee on my way in the door. I had an extra, but the 10 year old was having a bad day and I had to pass one over there....so in the short form, I'm all out. Next time, promise.

It happens so slowly, you almost don't realize it is happening. I used to sleep naked, prance around the house naked, even dance naked. It would make me happy and it would make Bobby laugh. Really laugh (another thing that disappears without much notice). As I slipped into bed I heard this voice say, "What are you wearing?" ?? I looked down, and didn't think a bunch about it. I'm wearing my ratty gingham nightgown with hairdye stains and 2 buttons missing...sexy huh? I got into bed. Turned over and went to sleep thinking, "I'm all out of that." Yup, gone, finito, no mas.

I don't think I could remember how to French Kiss anymore even though I see it on TV and it reminds of the good old days. I sometimes feel a hand on my arm or waist while I'm sleeping, but usually it is the 3 year olds foot as she tries to sneak into my forbidden sleep zone. I'm not sure where it went. Bobby doesn't seem to question it. Maybe he has something else? Maybe he looks at me differently now. Whatever the case, I try to dream about, I try to remember what it was like before I ran out of IT. It must be somewhere,waiting for me to find it. Somewhere waiting for the perfect moment to POP out and say , "Here I am...remember ME?" Boy, what a great day that will be. The day I throw that old ratty nightgown a way and someone actually looks at me again and laughs. So if anyone finds my "IT" hanging out at a posh nightclub reminiscing about the good-ol -days tell it to get its ass home...we need it.