PB&J cupcakes...

Today we made cupcakes.  Well, actually I made the cupcakes yesterday and frosted them today.

I had this box of Betty Crocker $.88 white cake mix in the cupboard and wanted to use it.

We decided on Peanut butter, because I LOOOOVE peanut butter

I added about 3/4 of Peanut butter to the mix and only 1/4 of the oil.  I just winged it.

It gave the white cake a light peanut butter flavor.

After the cupcakes cooked and cooled I filled them with a pastry bag and good ol' concord grape jelly.

Then the magic happens

we made a lighter peanut butter frosting by using 1/2 C. cream cheese, 1 C. Peanut butter, powdered sugar, and some half and half.  whipped it all up until it tasted good and had a nice consistency.  I really didn't measure, because that is how I roll.   Once it looked good , I whipped in some Cool Whip, because everything in better with Cool Whip.

Enjoy!!! yummmy

Risotto, Zen cooking, Just stir the rice

I've been wanting to make Butternut Squash Risotto for a while now, but just haven't been able to do it.  Due to laziness.  You know, all the stirring and such.

Last night I felt it was time.

The Butternut Squash was sitting on the counter, begging to be eaten opposed to thrown out and there was really no excuse.

So onward bound I went.

There are many recipes for this but I just followed the recipe on the Arborio rice....then spruced it up.

1 butternut squash

chopped onion

minced garlic

1 stick of butter

1 container veggie broth

1 Cup  Arborio rice

Parmeson Cheese

Dry white wine (optional)

***I used Vermouth***

you can add herbs

Peel the squash. I only used half the squash and I'm going to tell you right now this made enough for at least 6 people so cut it in half...everything in half from the recipe on the box.
chop the peeled squash into small cubes.  I like mine a bit bigger because they do break down. Saute the onion until translucent in the 3 T butter and a bit of oil.  Once translucent add chopped squash to pan and saute for about 5 minutes, then add garlic, 3/4 c. vermouth  and rice.  Stir and cook until rice starts to turn clear with a bright white to it. (you will see as you do it.  It's not a science, you just want the rice to cook a wee bit...maybe 3-4 minutes?
Now for the fun part.
Make sure you have some music on or...I like to listen to This American Life with Ira Glass...
Pour one ladle of broth into the pan and slowly stir on low heat.
the first few ladles the broth will suck into the rice quickly.
stir with love.
Find your Zen...just stir the rice...if your are stirring, just stir.

each time the broth is absorbed add another ladle

and stir Zen-ly :)

you do this for about 30 minutes.

Relax.

the squash will cook as the rice does and turn everything this fabulous orange color.

taste the rice after 20+ minutes .

you want it to be cooked but have a bite to it....al dente.

when this happens

add 3/4 cup or whatever you feel of Parmesan cheese to the pan.

1 more T butter.

remove from heat and stir a bit more.

I covered mine and let it sit while I chopped the green onions.

I suggest, if you have more time, or an extra pan while stirring...fry the green onions in a little bit of oil..it gives the smooth creamy risotto a crunch on the top...

plate it and sprinkle on the onions.  

mmmmm

Zen-ly

yummy

filling

As I was saying, you really don't even need to measure....
just saute, throw in rice add broth, STIR until done.
I'm sure some of you cooking snots will tell me I've done it wrong...
I've ruined the rice...
wrong wrong wrong...
but to me this was as easy as pie (not that pie is easy)
and it helped my inner Zen:

"if you are going to stir the rice, just stir the rice"

365 days of my life #81

Small Town Mutha...we are One....

Our lives are Parallel

It's like that episode of Seinfeld...

Bizarro World

Small Town's Boy

he must be a bit older than Ilin Blue

Strange...So far away, yet so the same....

Life has it's weirdnesses now doesn't it?

Sex is Laundry

I've been watching this show called  "Satisfaction" on netflix.  Its from Australia....about a high end brothel.

Yes, I realize it is fiction but yet I find it fascinating.  The separation of love and work;

work and intimacy.  It is a mystery to me.

As young girls we are taught sex is only ok if "Married" (which is hardly feasible nowadays) or the man truly "loves you" (which also may be a bit unrealistic in all circumstances).  It makes sex a sacred type thing.  Sacred, yet we all know sex is a viable part of our world, one not to be reckoned with.  A need of sorts to function in daily life.

I believe woman search for Love within sex and men search for sex within sex, the latter making more sense, no?  We hope for intimacy, they hope for blowjobs.  Oddly weird combo when really thought out.  

Then...once the man find the perfect match of blowjobs and laundry he pees on the hypothetical fence surrounding this mystical gal and no one is allowed near.

found on:    geekologie

Men separate love and sex easily making the availability of sex expanded. 

Woman separate laundry easily...dirty, dirty laundry which makes expansion in the realm of sex a bit stifled.

Work is work,

sex is sex,

intimacy is intimacy,

and 

laundry is laundy.

Seems like it would make for a better life.

just a thought.

m

last night in bed

watching TV

Husband says: We should try that new veggie bake from Stouffers, look.

me:  uh huh

Husband: it says all new great taste, all natural and now made with fresh ingredients....

Husband: Nice to know I wasn't eating fresh ingredients before, thank you Stouffers...dumbasses.

365 days of my life #75

naughty girls, taking a bunch of pictures at the Apple Store on the new Ipads!   heehee

vacation in wonderland

Wonderland.  To me this would be Heaven as a child. A vacation spot to smile about.

I would take the tiny honeymoon sweet in the color of orange.

We try to vacation every year, but as prices of airline tickets get higher it seems harder and harder.  As a child we grew up in a spot where other people came to visit.

Destin Florida. 

A traveler's paradise.  

I don't really remember traveling in the summer as I got older.  My parents were comfortable in their area of the world.  Why travel when you live in paradise?

I on the other hand, right now, dream of travel....

it seems almost continuously, but I have this guilt of going anywhere without the kids.

Yet, when we do travel with the kids it often appears they could really care less about the actual vacation spot.  They enjoy the process, but once there it is always, "is this it?"

Even Disney leaves them asking, "is this all we are doing?"

So, is it ok to travel without the kids?

I feel it is something my marriage could use, desperately.

I was here, looking at plane tickets for all of us as a family and just discovered that for the price for all of us to go to our "normal" vacation spot, Bobby and I could take a trip to Europe with $$$ to spare.

We could take a trip anywhere, actually.

But...will the kids be ok with it?

What is this parental guilt I have?

Does anyone else have it?

help

Love it or leave it....

Sometimes things aren't really funny.  I am the type of person who really just tries to find the light in the darkness.  I laugh at myself ....a lot.  I laugh at others, not in a rude way, just to brighten their day.  I try to let people see things aren't always so serious....yet sometimes it is very hard for me to take some things, which people feel are really serious, seriously, when I put them in the spectrum of my life or the Universe.  Often, when I do such things in my head I think, "What the hell?  Why are you so worried about such silly things...Japan is under water!"  But to actually express that to someone makes Myssi a "rude Bitch." 

So, that is how I roll, love it or leave it, and honestly, many people leave it.  

With that said, I have been spending many quality hours on my own.  I met a great man in a running group who has really been a mentor.  Encouraging when he he should be and scoldingly brutal when need be.  He set me on a schedule and has helped me see my strength again.  We talk when we run, which is nearly impossible for me, but it allows me to focus on breathing and to open up about my issues as I run.  To me, it is like a therapist in sneakers.  Over the past month I have been given some great thoughts from the outside world on how to maintain a bit of happiness at home, when sometimes it seems there is no way.  To not expect emotion from people who do not have that kind of emotion and to search for what makes me happy...and follow through. 

The follow through part has been the hard part.  With kids, it's not so easy.  I would love to travel nurse.  Really, I could take the entire family in the summer, but it doesn't seem feasible.  Bobby is lost in a job that is going nowhere,but through my running and talks I have found from a male point of view that is something he needs to conquer without my voice in his head.  He needs to be the bread winner and he cannot quit and do nothing.  He has to figure it out.  So, I will be quiet and let him do just that.

In the in-between, I am just trying to stay happy.  Be me.  Let my friends be them, and just not expect so much from people, except myself.  

I am strong, not everyone else has found their inner strength.

My goal is to not worry so much about bills and money and enjoy life as we have it right now and in the near future, because when it is all said and done, I want to say I did that...and had some fun.

write ya later

m

P90x week 2 day 2 Plyometrics

Plyometrics...jump training.  Feet off the ground for what seems like an eternity.  I believe the actual workout is 50 minutes.  The clock starts at 58 minutes but you have 8 minutes of warm up, which is even hard to me!  Pitiful

I want people to know there are adjustments to the jump moves.  

you CAN jump a bit lower, lower impact.

you can touch toes in the middle of a turn, kind of step through it.

I guess the important part is finding what works for you with out breaking your knee caps off.  The main goal...keep moving!!!

Each set is repeated 2 times which to me is a total Mind F*@k.  Just when I think I hate it enough, he says, "now we are going to repeat those 3 moves!"  

F%$@ YOU!!!!!

but I do it anyway.

Because secretly I like being told what to do.

I'm done with that, and later I will do a 5k run and the ab workout.

(hopefully)

For breakfast I made my healthy, filling, concoction of :

Fage Greek Yogurt 0% 15g protein (6 oz)

added 1T natural Peanut Butter

1T ground flaxseed

a drizzle of agave

I would have added some fruit

but all out.

It's really filling and healthy, holds me over til lunch

This is also day 5 without drinking!

I feel pretty good, my cocktail hand is just a bit lonely.

It seems to have figured put even though I out my seltzer water in a wine glass or martini glass, it's not the same.

Ok...off to dye my hair and get on with my day.

Have a good one

Write ya later...

do something today!

m

365 days # 71

IMG_3229, originally uploaded by v8grrl.

today

day 6 P90X...everything hurts

Today was day 6 of P90x or whatever...  today was Kenpo, kind of a kickboxing day.  I'm not big on kickboxing.  I have 0 mind eye coordination.  It takes me too long to figure out what they are doing to actually concentrate on muscle groups.  My goal today was to just keep moving.  Each of these workout are 1 hour, so its hard when you are watching that little time clock countdown the minutes.

I made it about 90% through the Kenpo before I fell to the ground....

It's not really hard,just hard to keep up!

I made up for the last 10% by taking a nice 5k jaunt with the dog.  I've slowed down my pace to keep from getting so winded.  I'm now averaging 10m miles, pretty slow, but as long as you keep going.

I decided today to give myself a recovery shake.  

Reasoning is that after 6 days of working out and such my muscles really do hurt.  Like it hurst to sit on the toilet...it hurts to get off the couch...and tonight I have to work.

It is supposed to help your muscles recover a bit a bit faster.  Some people believe in them religiously some people never even try it.  I had these Xood things in my junk drawer from the 1/2 marathon I did last fall.

Sure enough it is a recovery drink.  You can mix it with any beverage and since I'm not drinking beer....I decided to make a protein shake as Ms. Betty Rocker had suggested in my diet plan, and I think I can replace a meal with it.

This is what I did:

Blender.

1 low fat vanilla yogurt

1 frozen banana  (throw all your gross brown bananas in the freezer for this and kid drinks)

1 T of all natural peanut butter

1 T ground flaxseed (optional...i use for my Omegas)

chopped strawberries...or whatever

I threw in 3 icecubes because I was hot 

splash of milk or soy or rice...or nothing (optional)

XOOD   or whatever powder drink thing you have

blend away

made one pint, which I immediately poured into a beer glass for ol times sake.

Enjoy

365 days of my life #66

Px90 update and stuff

Today is day 4 of Px90.  It was Yoga day, but I opted to do ab ripper instead.  Just so you know, people I have talked to complain about the ab ripper, but Jackie Warners core workout is way better than the px90.  I was disappointed.  I did it anyway, and will try to run today if it stops snowing.

Ms. Betty Rocker has me on a diet of more protein and eating more so we will see how that pans out for me.  I felt stuffed after yesterdays lunch, but she swears I need to eat more to lose, and because her body is smokin'   I believe her.

I am still really sore.  Getting on and off the potty is killing my arms and my ass and isn't making me very happy.  

I wanted to tell you guys about a few cool things I got the other day.

C Booth Derma 36 Oxygen rejuvenating skin resurfacing.

I got it at Ulta, on sale for 9$

My 40 year old skin has been looking dull and because I bathe so much (do to germs at work) I needed some help.

I tried this product and loved it.  My skin felt like a baby bottom!

I have also been using Almond Oil on my face and neck (and legs) after bathing.

I have super sensitive red head skin which is prone to weird scaly breakouts if I use soap....or wash too much.  They aren't really pimples but just where my skin peels off in little spots and leaves a pretty red spot.  Sometimes there is a zit, but mostly weirdness.

Anyway, I have been putting a few drops of almond oil in my palm and rubbing it into my face after I shower.  It soaks right in and my skin has been looking great.

I have also heard Jojoba oil is good too.

I don't use castor oil, it's too heavy for my skin....

When I wash my face I use Dr. Bronner's all natural Castile liquid soap.  It's cheap, you can get it in the travel isle at Target for 1.39$.

Last but not least...Lent starts tomorrow.

Once again I will be giving up my precious alcohol, which sucks because St. Paddy's day is next week.

I'm guessing between Px90 and no alcohol I should be a completely different person in 30 days.

What are you doing do get ready for summer?

Have you checked Betty Rocker?

Bree...She's from Denver...just go look.

Betty Rocker

Ok...you guys, my friend is Rockin' this stuff...check it...She's awesome, smart and did I say awesome?  She does everything a cool chick should do...from eating healthy to riding a motorcycle...I love her...

I'm linking her, tell your friends and enjoy.

her website and youtube is really good.

p90x or px90 whatever....I'm in

Well, partially....I'm giving it a go.  

I challenge anyone else... : )  You know I like to see if I can actually finish anything.

See, I have been having troubles with my right knee.  The running is making it worse.

So I have to do something...  When I look at my body, its ok.  But I want to be toned.  Yes, maybe I'm obsessed, but really?   I just want to put on a pair of shorts and not have to adjust the "spread" when I sit down.  I want to be able to see a side shot of my arms and not wince in a sundress.

I just took before pictures and I can't even look at them.  I have photo issues.

this is the only one we will refer to.

don't ask me about my shorts...wide ass shorts?

I don't know.  I'm old and not attractive.

remember, not that I am making excuses, but I am only 5' tall.

Hobbit material.

here is what I see,

ass...needs work. hips...curvy

arms?  what is that?

new tattoos to cover up some of those old ones?

and maybe a tan wouldn't hurt (I don't tan)

well, there you have day 2 of the program.

Day one was pullups and pushups, cant do a single pullup!!!! I literally just hung from the bar like a baby monkey, grunting and groaning.  Then this morning my armpits hurt like I had been walking on my hands for a month!

Today was plyometrics.  "jump Training"  

I'll just tell ya now...NOT A FAN!!!!

I did it.  Now I'm going grocery shopping for shitloads of vegetarian protein....and beer, because Lent is coming up, and I usually quit for Lent....which means I gotta get drinking!

let me know if anyone else wants to do this with me

365 days #63

365 days #63, originally uploaded by v8grrl.

Making your own Bias Tape!!!

I have been working on my 5 homemade gifts for the facebook challenge.  One that I am doing requires a little bias tape.  As you know, if you sew, you can never get cute bias tape...so you must make your own.  I have always found this a miserable task which always just makes me pissy....until I found a lil website with some bias tape making help

Creative Little Daisy!!!

I have this little Clover Bias Tape Maker, just like the gal from Creative Lil Daisy...I can NEVER get it to work, although it says even idiots can work it.  Obviously,they were wrong.

I followed her DIY instructions, Not sure if she came up with this or if a Gramma some where did, but it is perfect, easy, no stress and effective!!!

I made 1" Bias tape when folded in half it is 1/2"

step 1:  Cut fabric strips...No need for bias cutting!  just cut along the selvage (which is the end that doesn't unravel...kinda like factory sealed)

I used my new rotary cutter and the self healing board.  Don't cut on the table or your floor...it will go right thru!!!  And watch your fingers, I sliced mine within 3 minutes.

These strips are 1.75"  seemed to work.  no need to be exact...

I used cheap quilting fabric from Hancocks on sale for 1.99$ a yrd

step 2:  For the Bias Maker...you take a long needle and your ironing board.

(click the picture for a bigger view)

I measured 1", stuck the needle in then out one inch below.   

this is what we will thread the fabric thru as we iron/steam.

Notice how I clipped the corners of the fabric so it would thread under easy...

Not rocket science...

easy

 I pushed the fabric under the needle/bias maker and started a lil fold.  It does it almost by itself.

You want the pieces to meet in the middle, but like I said it doesn't have to be perfect. 

It will all come together as you sew....hopefully...I haven't sewn it yet either.

 Next, with your hot steam iron...LOTS OF STEAM! Tug the bias tape under the needle and under the iron...it's like a little steam machine.  you don't even have to hold the iron, just let the weight of the iron do its magic.  I did lift the iron every few minutes so as not to burn my cheap ironing board cover.

Pressto!   

the last step is to again fold the in half and iron...just like bias tape!!! 

I'm sure someone will have a complaint, but I found it it quite exhilarating!

I made yards and yards...when My project for the gifts are all sent and received I will show you what I did with this batch.

invasion of teens privacy...nursing

short quick note...

because I should take a nap so I'm not doing a 24 hour awake thing again.

I'm going on my 4th 12hour shift this week.  If I'm going to pay off the bills I might as well get it done and not lolligag about it.  

2 of those shifts are callback which means time and a half pay (golden time).

That is the whole idea with the nursing schedule. Pick your shifts wisely.  Pick them in the beginning of the week so when they need help in the middle to end you are getting CB and overtime which can triple your pay per hour.  So, remember that, lil nurses.!

Story of the week:

Took care of a teenager...which is not very common at our hospital because we have a children's hospital...but this kid needed orthopedic nursing so ,voila....It was me.

Kid was snowboarding, went off a jump...and landed on his ass.  How many times have we or our kids done this?

many

well...

this lil bruiser, broke his hip and had a spine fracture...c4-c5 (cervical)...and pretty darn close to that oh so worry some c1

(look it up)

I'm not gonna go on and on about how awesome this 18 year old was...but he was.

When he came to the floor his parents were totally whacked out and freaked out and controlling.  They wouldn't let us put a foley catheter in his penis so that he wouldn't have to get up to use the bathroom.

They kept saying he didn't NEED pain medicine...

Damn, the kid broke his hip and back!

One thing after the next.

I finally smiled to the parents and said, "He's 18...I'm going to talk to him in private"

Ooooh nelly...they didn't much like that, but it is what it is.

As the kid was laying in the bed whimpering I leaned over him and said,

"Hey you...were you wearing your helmet?..."

~~~yeah

"well, it looks like to me that damn thing did ya no good....you could have used an ass helmet."

he got a big smile and laughed

I asked him if his friends took a picture....

~~~no  :(

"crappy friends you got there...man, that was probably air of a lifetime and NO ONE took a picture!?"

So...that was my interaction...

But I did have him back the next night, per request!

His family stated they absolutely did not care for the nurse they had the rest of the shift and could they please, request someone else...preferably that girl with the tattoos.

It's hard for me taking care of these younger kids.  

The girls are fine but the boys, there is a thin, thin line.

They need help, yet they get so embarrassed.  They have no idea what is going on and what is right or wrong.

When this kid had to go the bathroom, I showed him the urinal, explained how to use it, and gave him some privacy.

5 minutes later the light for his room was ringing.

"I can't do this laying down or sitting in the bed....I have to stand"

Ok, kiddo...No problem...let's get ya up, and I'll tell ya what, I'm going to try to do this as dignified for you as possible,  I'll turn around backwards and you can hold onto my short lil shoulder and I wont look.

"ok"

~~~grimace,grunt, grimace~~~

He was up...everything in place, and started to pee...

then he says to me....

I think I have to poop...

I think I might have pooped.

~~~~Hmmmmm....

I gently lift the back of his gown and say..."nope nothing...shew, thank goodness!"

Heehee

"I can get you a bedside commode and you can go potty right next to the bed"

~~~can I pee in there too?

"yup, multi functioning!  It's your lucky day."

All went well with the bedside commode.

He called, he had done his business and was ready to get back into bed.

I come in with the wet wipes and all the stuff we need to clean up...

I take one look at him and say, "Ok...million dollar question, can you reach to wipe? Because I, personally have no problem doing it, but if you would rather, you definitely can..."

he attempts to reach back then looked at me with these teared up eyes and said, "can you please just do it for me?"

Yes sir...short and sweet... I promise I will try to be gentle

swoosh...done

"thank you"

The next morning when I was leaving his dad came up to me and gave me a full body awkward hug and kiss on the cheek and said,

"thank you so much...you were so awesome."

No, your kid is awesome...even if his hair is sticking up crazy,,,someone needs to take a picture and facebook that business!

a day's work...

sometimes it is so worth it