Day 210: Selfies My Way

Day 210

green smoothie wreck

7/29/19

Green Smoothie: Spinach, (blah), green apple, strawberry, put butter, banana, whey protein powder, water....blend, chia seeds.

meal complete, sans chewing...

perfect for my nonchalant, sick of chewing attitude.

Sometimes I wish I had someone to take nice candid shots of me...ya know, just so when I'm missing they will find me...

If you were to look on B's social media or phone, or picture history you will find no mention (in pictures) of me.  There are many many pictures of Olive, of himself...his car, his guitars, amps....motorcycles....dog....

not me.

I asked him about this and he said his social media is for work.

Hmmm...ok. are tacos work?

What I believe to be true is that I am slightly under par according to him.

so we will leave it at that.

In return I take many of my own happy selfies...

the best being the "I don't care after workout/ run" selfies

 and leg and feet selfies ( because they are always cute).

They go lots and lots of places.

I have even contemplated a picture book of all the travels and countries I have photoed my feet.

not for anyone...just me....dont worry I won't be gifting those.

candid photos are a luxury because you have to have someone who sees something and who has the care to take a picture.

I take a ton of pictures and my favorites are the ones I take of my friends just being.

They hate it until I send them later.  

I often see them used as profile pics and such which makes me happy.

I'm careful to never post an unflattering picture because I feel that is a bit of a bummer and happens quite often when I'm looking at random shots on media.

capturing people in their form is a beautiful loving thing.

here are a few that make me smile.

 Kris ....old lady cartwheels....yes she was drinking

we call her Betty, and she is always smiling and gives the best hugs.

Photo ops....It wasn't my op, but I took advantage

This kid was funny...dog dish reinvented....

the Litas...I took this, they use it all the time...I'm not in it

my sweet work wife, Heather....ready for radiation

Pictures ....

Don't hate me for snapping so many, If I love you.....

I have pictures.

snap ya later,

m

love story of an inconvenient time

A love story from a time long ago.

       We all have a story as such.  A beautiful love story which occurs when there is not a possible right thing to do short of drastic risk. Memories which always come back as "What if's", tears, and  lessons learned. We all have a story, each and every one of us.


....are you ok?.....
hmmmm, what is this, who is this?
......pertaining to what you said....you sounded....well, not ok.

Jesus Criminy, I thought I deleted that. I know I deleted that. Yes , I was mad....hurt, pissed, sad, and I had to get it out. To a world of non people, who I don't know and will never meet.  It's frightening, yet exhilarating to just dump it into the world and no one really knows you, so no damages can come from it.

      But someone did notice and he was intriguing.  His short conversations were honest but guarded. Easy banter among friends.  Especially easy when you really don't 'know' the person.

I remember when it turned the corner.
......what are you doing? , did you know you are hanging out right around the corner from me?.....
No, I'm seeing a band.
......yeah, you just posted and I live right around the corner, I could come up......
pause, ~~heart racing~~
NO.  I'm good, it's late, I'm not staying much longer.

But the feeling was exhilarating, but also wrong.  I was in a committed relationship, regardless of the up and many downs.  I always have kept the faith that the downs will turn around and my relationship at home will be better.  I do have morals, I think, or at least my brain has morals, my heart thinks differently.

then next morning, before I was even awake.....
......I love that picture of you working out on the carpet....
( huh,? that picture is 3 years old). Hey, that's an old picture , what ? did you do go through all my pictures, weirdo?
......yeah
All 3000?
......pretty much.
(inside smile, and a chuckle) weirdo.

This was our friendship.  Banter online at any given time.  He was a late owl, I was an early bird, he was a meat eater, I was not; which in agreement made our friendship incompatible from the beginning.

But he made me smile, laugh, think, and encouraged me, probably unbeknownst to him, more than anyone in my family ever did.  He noticed things and held me accountable when I was wrong. I could count on him to acknowledge life and cool little corners of it in a similar way as my own. His photos of his day to day life caught my eye and I felt an odd connection with another person who saw life in pictures and words....simple pictures and words.

I don't remember how we first spoke, mostly through funny banter and an occasional message about our day? I don't remember the first time I noticed his comments, but upon looking back, it must have been about 2 years. 2 years. That is a long time for chit chat.  The friendship was inevitably going to change one way or another.

........tbc

Write ya later
m

Working with a smile

"thanks you for coming to work with a smile on your face"

hmmm?  This was presented to me in my work mailbox attached to a snickers.  Isn't that nice?  It's nice to be appreciated once in a while.  Working the night shift as an RN is not the easiest, wait, let me take that back,  it's  not the easiest to actually go to work.   It's not the work, its the going to work that is horrible.   The 12 hour shifts will suck the all mighty bejesus outta ya just thinking about it.  They tell me days are better.  Who knows, but what I will tell you is that it makes for an exceptionally long shift if you come to work all bitched out, and up, and with a bad attititude.   I, personally, like to wear pony tails, which I am too old too wear, goofy hair accessories, and have an arsenal of silly jokes to start the shift.  Sure, I know my vim and vigor is irritating  to some, but being sick, sucks...working 12 hour night shift when the rest of the world is asleep sucks....and I'll tell you something else...the patient never ever remembers the night nurse ,after the fact.  The family will sometimes send a thank you card thanking the "nurse" who did such an exceptional job taking care of the patient in their time of need.  It's always inevitably the day nurse...name and everything.   grrrr...Let's see last night, I had a patient who puked up a liter of vomit, and who was there to clean it up and wipe his brow?  (A LITER!!!!   LIKE A LITER OF POP!!!!)  That would be me, thank you very much, the night nurse....He did thank me for all I did, But ,I guarantee, when his wife sends the THANK YOU card it will be the day nurse, because that is when she was there and what she remembers....He'll only remember the perky redheaded nurse who cracked the joke about "Poop and vomit"...but he won't remember my name.  yeah yeah, I know he's thankful, and I'm happy to help.   

The point is, coming to work with a smile on your face shouldn't be an option when you are a nurse....it should be  a given and we shouldn't be rewarded for such things....although it was nice, and the snickers was good at 4AM too.