Getting Laid on the wrong side of the age gap

The truth of the matter is…I need to get laid.  

There I said it.

If it's too much info for you, stop reading now, because knowing me it will only get worse and I dont often have control over my brain,mouth and writing.

See, I'm 44.  

I make an effort to be healthy.  I eat properly, I work out…I may not be super pretty, but I take care of myself.

I pride myself in being in pretty good shape.  

I even occasionaly shave my legs.

well, if I think someone may touch them or the sun my reflect off the length.

Back to my point.

My other half has lost interest.  I'm pretty sure it is in me, but could possibly in general.

When I asked the other day, he said…Yeah, I'm too tired…. rather just relax.

hmphf.

well…where does that leave me?

Short of getting a house boy, it leaves me to my own devices, which is never good…

or leaves me to finding another non sexual hobby…such as buying new furniture or vacationing.

Either one is fine.

Maybe I need a girlfriend.

well….

I guess I will shop online for some new shoes…

run around the lake and knit some more.

that should fix it.

I'm leaving you with a picture to make you think…it could be worse.

Personal, gross, and sad....all in one post

I'm just going to say it.  It's been on my mind for about 3 weeks now and since this is my blog I can post it no matter who grosses out or whatever.

I have been bleeding for 3 weeks straight now.  

Perimenopause?

I don't know...don't know at all.  Short of being an RN and knowing that I usually only have a 5 day period it has made me extremely depressed, a wee bit frightened, and on top of that irritated.

As a woman, our lives seem to revolve around bleeding,childbearing, bleeding and then death.  No happy inbetween.  Now what do I have to look forward too?   More facial hair, dried up cooch, and crumbling bones.  It came to my realization yesterday that, "what is the point?"  

what is the point of working out, of caring...of pretty much anything right now.  So,I can look good in my casket?

I have run out of period panties and they have ALL become period panties.

pretty soon I may just need a period diaper.

I realize that most of you who read this are way too young to even understand the fear and anger that this is coming with...which is really strange.  I never thought I would say that considering I don't plan on having any more kids.  

Maybe I'm mostly nervous about something being wrong.

Maybe it is the inability to really tell anyone because our periods are so taboo.

I am going to go lay down, because I have been dizzy and tired...and I have to work.

no biggie...

none at all

and yes, I made a dr. appointment so no need for the lecture

I may be dramatic, but I'm not an idiot.

Sometime it's just not worth it

Remember all that complaining about school? Well now I'm really going to complain.
I'm irritated. I'm irritated that school is the way to go, so I did that, yet I can't get a job with the LPN lisc. I got. It's killing me. I am one of those people who wants to help people. I enjoy it, but an online resume just doesn't come through for me. I am smart. I can use computers (which is saying more than most), I am friendly, and I'm an excellent employee...why can't someone give me a try? "We need more experience"...Yeah I get that part of it, but how the EFF do I get experience if no one will hire me? I will be going onto RN and I know there are a ton of jobs for RN's but what if the same thing happens? What if they say, "new grad? no thanks?"
Right now, I just keep plodding on. I have applied for about 25 jobs. Nothing. One place actually said my schedule was too busy. Hello? I can't quit the job I have to just go look for other jobs...would that be smart? Come on...I told them I am actively looking for a LPN job, my current employment knows this and is encouraging me to continue on with nursing, so if I find a LPN job I will leave this job for the new. What's the big deal?
Well...I can't make things happen. What happens happens....

Yesterday I put it all aside and just sat and knitted. Told myself to finish something it will make me feel better. I went to school in the evening and when I got home Ilin (12 year old) had made dinner for me :) He made our favorite Toodly Noodle. It was in the fridge just waiting for us.

it was so nice. then he made cookies. ...that was even nicer.
I guess something pay off.

just like everyone else

As you may have heard it was my bday weekend. Woopdie!
It was fun. The gang took me out to eat at a friends restaurant called the Sugarbeet.
I ate some sort ot tempeh concoction that tasted just like Mcribs. 25$ Mcribs...but Mcribs none the less.

Let me recap.
My sissy, visiting from Nashville area, happily drank me out of house and home and proceeded to drink my friends out of house and home. I tell you what, for a 5 foot chick she can drink her weight plus some. We had many a giggle rubbing her bloated with micro brew belly as she asked where her beer was. It was great.
I on the other hand got the shitty head cold...not sick enough to just curl up and die, but just sick enough t not enjoy eating, drinking,or conversing...so my weekend was a bit shaky.

We hiked...we ate...we sat on the couch and chit chatted...and we just hung out. It was nice.

I dropped her off at the bus stop to get back to the airport and now I'm sitting miserably at work.
Cold medicine has worn off, boogers flowing, thinking about how I want to get an LPN job but haven't had much luck yet with my resume. Hard without experience. I have class tonight and can't even stand to think about going ...yukko.
plus it is 14 degrees today and that is the warmest it is going to get.