DIY Retro Jean Fun

 It's been a minute since I have had time to sew or do fun shit.

These are Marc Jacobs Runway

So, 

(mine are just as fab)

I, of course, was "given" the opportunity to snazzy up some of the Teen's thrift store haul.

This is how it happens:

Teen and friend buy cool Salvation Army stuff

they say

"Mom, look at this stuff, we have a plan"

then the plan sits on the kitchen table until I say,

" Damnit!!! I'll do it."

Anyways...

here's the how to:

1:Buy jeans

2: cut jeans in cool places (but use caution because you have to sew it back together!)

4: take half the cut pieces and bleach them or dye them

5: reassemble on the floor and pin

6: now remember when you sew them together that you want the seam to the inside and the fringe on the outside.

7: get a glass of wine ( or martini)

8. finish and make teens model 

look how cool....

She makes me smile...

There is your fashion for the day

YOU ARE WELCOME

xo,

sew ya later

m

I Pick You , Dummy

"You have been alone for so long , M"

Don't have guilt....

well, you know.

I laugh...because of course things could have been handled better.

Of course I could have thought more about what the result of my actions would entail.

BUT

I did...

and I did it anyways.

and here I am

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

say anything...

and here it goes

it's a story...

like high school

all names have been changed

(all of this is not verbatim, and some may be made up)

"If I don't tell you now, I'll miss my chance."

This is stuff love stories are made of....

"I have been waiting for 4 years for this day....4 years quietly waiting"

how does this happen?

It happens because when the stupid heart picks someone ....sometimes it dwells

and dwell it does

sometimes for years at a time

sometimes it tries to date,

tries to move,

tries to be normal....

but it just can't

it waits.

stupid heart

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

You are beautiul

whatever you have been told....

fuck it....

look at me

I'm telling you....

I got nothing to lose but everything....

you

are perfect....

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Me:

thank you

now.....

when do I get to talk?

when can I scream to the world

YOU MAKE ME HAPPY

when do I get to stop being the hard ass

and say,

you kill me

when can I post pictures 

when can I tell a friend

when can I say....

I____________you?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

you looked at me and said this is my chance....

I haven't really dated, because of you ....

I never moved away, because of you....

the only reason I came over was to see....

you.

I have been in love with you for years....

now I sound like an idiot ...

now I have broken guy code....

now I could be totally....

I don't know....

fucked

but I had to say it to you

and now ....

I did.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

my heart

I've been alone for so long

I've been together for so long

we have been friends for so long

how did I not know?

because I love people.

I love my friends

my love is broad....

so, it's hard to distinquish

BUT

when you touched the small of my back to lead me away

I knew.

"you are breaking guy code, you know that right?"

you looked at me then looked ahead.

you opened the car door....

something that I had long forgotten was a thing

you smiled when you got in

you looked at me and sighed 

"yeah, I know....I know, but you are worth it to me....

even if I lose you and everyone else"

I wanted to punch you in the throat

I wanted to scream and run

I tried to explain you to me, which was ridiculous

but you....

you looked at me 

and shrugged

"it's just what my heart wants and I have to believe there is a higher power putting this all into motion...it has to mean something"

yes

my heart is scared

not of you....

of others....

what they will say

how to explain

why can't they see

the "say anything"

in all of this...

the testing the waters of love....

the love story,

unfolding

?

xo,

m

love stories

I promise at some point the humor will come back

I promise

seriously

write ya later

365 days :maybe it's not generational.... day 177

Day:177

today this girl went to her first job.  

That's Tripp in the background, one of the owners of Tortugas in Longmont.

They needed a dishwasher and this  freshly turned 15 year old said ," I am in".

We , well most of us, have worked a labor job at some point in our life.  

I have done them all. 

Growing up in the tourist town of Destin, Florida I worked mainly kitchen....because that is where the work was. It was hard, sweaty, work....but I met some of the most amazing people ever in the kitchens.  I learned about work ethic, food, cleanliness, teamwork, anger management and love in those kitchens. 

Everyone should work in the kitchen at some point. 

True fact... 

washing dishes teaches you respect and understanding of service industry and teaches you what the low man on the totem pole really is.

This girl, Olive Bijie, showed up, having never worked a real job let alone operate a dish machine, busted her ass, and made it through a busy Saturday night .... 

I am proud of her.

Before she went in we talked to her about work ethic and how she is strong  and sassy (which is requirement #1 of kitchen work)

and she is not a quitter.

just so you know....

I thought she would be crying when I picked her up.

but NO....

she was standing there tired, but smiling, with a togo box of high end food and the owners saying 

"she did great...it was so busy.... we want her back if she will have us"

her response....

" I like money...I'll be back"

We say this generation and the last are lazy...don't want to work, want to start at the top and never do manual labor....but here I have a 15 year old girl, who is baby sitting, dog watching, and now working washing dishes.....

so maybe it's not generational...

maybe it's the upbringing?

I'm a really proud mom right now.

She exceeded my expectations and did it...

 and I hope she excels at it.

even if it is dishwashing

because if you are going to do a job...

do your best,

whether it is washing dishes or brain surgery

do your best.

do your fucking best

xo,

write ya later 

m

I Drug Tested my Teen

Yup, I sure did.  He's been acting weird.  He's been lying about weird things and not remembering anything.  I just couldn't take it anymore.  On the way home from work I stopped at Walgreens and got one of those drug tests that checks for anything and everything.  The little voice in my head said to be ready for what it might reveal, I told that voice to shut up.  I know...I know.

I got home, marched up the stairs handed him the cup and said,  "Look.  You have been acting the fool the lately, I don't know what's going on and I need to know.  Would you like to tell me what this is going to say before you pee in the cup?  it's your chance to be honest."  He looked me in the eye and said, "It's going to be clean"
I thought to myself...sure it is buddy...you apparently don't know how long that shit stays in your system.   I say, "you sure?  I'm doing this because I love you" (classic mom line)" Right now I don't trust you and I need to get you and us back on track.   Are you scared?"  He said , "yeah, just because it's weird, but I understand why you are doing it....and mom, It's going to be clean.  I haven't smoked pot in over a month, from the last big talk we had.... I decided then I had to stop."

off to pee

I had him set it on his dresser and we stuck the cardboard thing in with 8 windows to check everything from pot and alcohol to meth and heroine....and we waited.  10 minutes staring at his nice clear yellow pee and watching for the double red lines to appear in each window.   Ever so slowly the double sets of lines like 8 tiny pregnancy tests started to appear.  There was one which was a bit faint...."What's that one?"    That my son is THC...weed.  He looked at me then looked at the card and said "look the lines are there!...I TOLD you....one month or more it has been."

He was clean.  17 years old....and clean.   I was not clean of anything at 17.  You could have waved that card above my pee and it would say....FAIL.  I was happy for him, I was happy I could tell my other half...he's not on drugs...but not happy that it doesn't give us any reason for the decisions he is making.

Being a teen sucks ass.  I can mark the month on the calendar when things started to go from good decisions to I don't give a fuck decisions.  I can say I don't blame him.  The kid lost all his hair when he started high school....1 month later the kid contracted Tuberculosis.... 2 weeks later he got hit by a car on his bike and was charge with riding on the sidewalk  and had to pay for the rich lady's car who rolled a stop sign.  Is life fair?  Fuck no...but that doesn't mean I can baby my favorite child.
This kid was my savior, this kid I had plans for, this kid I spent days at home reading to him and using flash cards, and telling him how amazing he was.

this kid who is gifted and failing high school was not in my plan.

at least I can say it is not drug related...and I can also say that he gave me a hug afterwards, as I cried and told him why I am so scared for him...He just said..."Mom, I love you...I am not mad...I understand, I'm scared for me too sometimes ."....and maybe that is enough

Xo,
m

Come on get Happy ...exes, teens, and everything in-between

"Do you think this is the life I wanted when I chose to move here?"

Uhhh, let me take an educated guess...no.

"Damn right"

Well, honestly, this is not exactly the fucking Partridge Family to me either.

Don't say anything you cant take back....don't say it. Bite your tongue.

For once my tongue has been bitten.  I will let everyone decide their fates.

You can't always be right, you can't always be happy, and you sure as shit can't always control what everyone else is doing.   The saddest most embarrassing part is dealing with a teenager who is constantly giving you the middle finger.  Bless his little heart.  Is this what I had thought would happen with my first born?   hell no.   I still dream of first dates and kids filling the basement, proms, and family vacations of fun.   Not exactly what is going on here right now.

I bite my tongue when my parent friends exclaim the intelligence of their children and the beauty and joy they bring.  The scholarships and college interviews.   The pictures of their teens sitting behind the wheel of their first car, so happy and ready to move forward with adulthood....everyone on the same page...stressful but joyful.

bwahahahhaha

The Ex rails me me with his passive aggressive parenting and blame game.  "It's your fault....it was YOUR decision...not mine."  "This is your fault."  

That is fine with me.  I'll take the blame, but if that is the case , get the hell out of the way and let me deal with it.  Not your way of dealing: " here, did your mom tell you there will be no more Internet?  Oh she said until your grades are a B avg. ?What a Bitch,  let me get you this phone, I'll pay for it  and here's a new iPad, just in case the computer won't work. "   

Hey jack ass, our kid needs a job, a car and some help getting his grades up....how about forking over some dough for a tutor?

How about for once, instead of saying " that is what I pay you for"...you do something.  How about you be a father instead of a playmate?  How about as they say...STEP UP TO THE PLATE.

The teen had a job...he got fired.  pretty awesome ,huh?  17 and all ready cant keep a job, all because he didn't feel like going and his dad said if he wasn't working every weekend he would take him snowboarding , but he seems to work all the time....here's a good thought .  Just don't go to work, go snowboarding and hope they don't really care.   Yeah, how did that work out?  

It's embarrassing.  

Almost horrifying to watch .

I'm losing my relationships due to not being able to handle all this.  I've all ready lost the man who used to make me laugh.  Nobody wants to be second or third.  I know I sure as heck don't , yet some how I have become last.

Isolated in a messed up home I designed all by myself.

This design is not working for me....

I'm investing in a wrecking ball...

so prepare yourself

m

Raising a Smart Teen is a Pain in the Ass

Raising a teen is weird.  

I'm not sure if we can really call it "raising"…it's more like push, shove, yell, cry, threaten and a shit ton of praying.

no kid comes with a guide book and honestly, teens are super scary bizarre.

This book would do my family no good.

Here are a few of the reasons:

1.  They have access to everything.  and I mean everything.  

When we were kids we had to use the Dewey Decimal System and if you were slightly lazy or dyslexic you gave up on finding out information first hand pretty quickly. Easiest ways were National Geographic and friend of a friend system.  You had to wait for a friend to fill you in from either their big sister's experience or their own personal…and sometimes even from a friend of a friend.  You remember. " My cousin's older sister's best friend, said if you smoke Virginia Slim Menthols they taste like candy"   

Now they just google it, or learn about it on Grand Theft Auto.

2. same genre. 

 I had to read every stinking one of Judy Blume's books to learn how to semi french kiss then when it was time I still did it wrong.  Same with my period.  If I didn't have Judy Blume I would have died in 7th grade not knowing if I would EVER get my period and why did all my friends get theirs first!?

now?  they just google it and half the girls are so GMO'd up they have boobies and start their periods in 4th grade.

Let's not even talk abut the porn factor and the search for Playboys in the woods. (and don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about)

3. Drugs they have now are bad ass.  

Sure we had coke, pills and acid…pot too.  We did our share and honestly Jungle Juice and Mad Dog were probably the most dangerous for our group.  Now I have to worry about Molly, Meth and her little sister Heroin.  It's one of my favorite thoughts.  My all ready slightly stupid teen decides to try out a lil toke on a meth pipe.  Guarantees basement living and no brain growth.   That's what we need.  Let's keep the Grand Theft Auto empire alive.  Whatever happened to just eating some shrooms, getting blasted and saying…."man I'm not doing that again….well at least not for a while!"       ?

Another thing is I now have access to everything.  I liked the days when my mom said, "Have a good day at school , Honey" and that was it.  She wouldn't have known if I was dead until the street lights came home and I wasn't there.  Now with all the electronics I can track my kids every move; and honestly….I don't want to.  Some things are better off not knowing.  My mom often had an idea, but hardly ever any hard evidence and that, my, friends is exactly what kept us friendly to each other.

I'm blessed with one of those kind, smart, artsy type teens.  He is sensitive, but his own person.  He thinks in his own way and I can no longer micro- manage that.  This is where the hardest part of parenting comes in.  Letting them learn their own lessons and make their own path, even if I see it may be a hard path.  No pushing or yelling will change that when they have their own brains.  

Sometimes my kid is right and I can't outwardly agree because I am the parent.  

 Like the other day when he says, "Why do I get a zero for not taking notes in class?  That is stupid.  I'm listening…. I don't like to write and listen at that the same time…I shouldn't get a zero for that, that is stupid"  

Yes, it is stupid.  It is stupid for an AP teacher to pass out Zeros to a kid who makes A's on the tests, but that is the rule and you have to follow rules.   That is the lesson.

"Yeah, well, whatever…I guess I'm going to fail then".

Smart kid.  Honors and AP and he may just fail, not because of tests, but because of marching to the beat of his own drummer with anarchy sticks in his hands.  Learn your own lessons kid.  I'm right there with you in my mind.

Alopecia Sucks.  

plus try your teen age years with no hair.

xo,

m

Alopecia sucks, update ..no hair

It pains me to post the pics, but I want other people to see that it happens, it happens quickly and they are not alone.

Although Ilin B has not come to terms, nor most likely will he ever come to terms with it, he still lets me take pics for documenting.

People always tell him to "just go bald"  

He hates it.

As he points out,  this is not "normal bald, this is odd bald" 

 Here is one of the only patches of hair that grows on the back side.  The front he has not cut for 3 years.

 You can see how smooth it is….you can also see the Native American he has in him with that nose.  Funny how 1/4 of Cherokee, or whatever it was passed right down from his dad.

 Any other small hair growth is white and fuzzy, like duck baby feathers.

He told me last night he hasn't shaved his head in 4 months, and this is it.

So the Dr was probably right.  He is heading to Total Alopecia.

This was less than 3 months ago
click the link

Well, I'm thankful for Ilin Blue that beanie hats are in style for this age group.

Not sure what he will do for any other age.

I would say: This too shall pass, but…I think I'll stick with:

It is what it is

write ya later,

m

365 days give or take 1/12/13 & 1/13/13

Boys will be boys.

Smells like Teen Spirit…

Or Something

I do what I have to do...

Right?

Right....

Here's what I did today.

I came home from work at 8 am, slept...then thought

I thought long and hard, and made a decision that I thought I would have liked to have happened when I was 15.

So, when Blue came home from school.  I took him to Floyds to get a haircut, which one I don't know, because for 25 dollars they really didn't cut much of anything...but whatever

Then to Target....

then I took this kid:

To Planned Parenthood....unbeknownst (sp?)

 to him.

He didn't act freaked or surprised, really.

We walked around the glass to the counter, where there was this adorable 20 something girl working.

"Hi, can I help you?"

"Yup, I'm bringing my son in here so he knows where his options are...if need be"

"Oh cool...well, right there to your left are condoms...free or donation....we can help with anything that you need...and there are a bunch of pamphlets on the wall...and there are some pamphlets about how to talk to your teens about sex....but I think you might have that one covered"  (big grin from her).

"yeah, Thank you   .....Blue, here are the condoms, not that you need these or will need them EVER, but if one of your "friends" may need one, or you guys have an issue you can come here, and they will help you, you know, if you are a bit confused...or whatever.   Buying condoms at the Walgreens is sometimes nerve wracking...so here, please be safe when you need to be."

He didn't get any, but he looked at the lady and said thanks...looked around, got his bearings and I could tell he was taking mental notes.

We got in the car and I said,"Just so you know there is another place to go, if you can't talk to me...but you can always talk to me.

"Thanks mom, it's cool"

I wish to God, my parents had given me more than trial and error when I was his age.

Conversation with teen son

In kid's room, pilfering with stuff, while he is looking at Pokemon cards...

find a cute lil drawing in a ziplock bag that says, "defense spork"

"hahaha, that's funny, who is this from?"

A girl in Orchestra...

"Do you like her?"

no, not really

"uhhhhh, do you just not like her?  or do you not like ....girls ...girls in general"

pause,,,,

"I mean, I don't care, you know me, I just find it easier to adjust my conversation if I know if the conversation is a mute point or not"

I look over, he's laughing quietly....

yeah, Mom, I like girls...just not any at my school.

as I walk out of the room I say,

"cool, whatever, I don't care, if you decide you like boys let me know...just for conversation sake." 

He's chuckling, sure mom, will do.  

good...

now take the garbage out.

Rather be digging ditches

You know, life is too short to be wasting time yelling and rushing around, but there is, honestly, something about mornings at my house that make it HELL.  Bobby gets up and leaves before anyone even stirs. We sleep in, well, sleep til 655 am.  School starts at 8 am for the older and 820 for the younger which , feasibly, gives us plenty of time, especially since the school is within walking distance.

But NooOOOoooOO.

Here's how a relaxing morning at the Graves house begins.

Multiple alarm clocks, which are poorly set going off, starting at 645 am, snooze button hit by 6 year old after yelling from brother and mom to turn the damn thing off! (She has the worst alarm clock, it sounds like a bull horn and she usually sleeps through it).

Then: the race for the shower.  I usually win, but sometimes the teen wins, which means I have to wait, because our house is not happy with 2 showers running at once.

This makes me bitchy. (are you surprised?)

This means I have to get dressed instead of just meandering nakedly to my bathroom.

Dressed...down to start the short order cook station.

Down comes Crankmaster, aka Olive.

"Here's your Oatmeal" Plop.

"is this Banana and Cream?" 

"Yes, Olive"....wait for it, wait for it...

"I SAID>>>>>> I don't like the Bananas and CREAAAAAMMMM it tastes like nothing!!!"

(i am going to kill you, whispered in my head)

"Olive, you picked this out...so you are going to eat it"

Then the tears and then the slowest eating in your life with lots of gagging and gasping.

Down comes the teen, who although he just showered, still smells like Teen Spirit. (What the hell is that weird odor? if anyone knows please tell me.)

"Hey, Kid, did you wash in there, you know with the soap and stuff?"

"yeah..."

"Clean clothes?"

"yeah"...

Ok never mind, maybe they all smell like that...kinda BOish with a mix of sweet and sour.

"Make sure you put on some of that fancy Ol Spice would ya?, just in case someone gets within 2 feet of your aura."

I make lunches,because my kids are veggies and Olive likes to announce when I say, "Olive its Meatless Monday at school...you know the ONE meatless day a week...started probably just for you?"

'I KNOOOOOW, but MOM  they give my 3 pieces of yukky cheese on white bread, they don't even give me a piece of lettuce or tomato! ...OR MAYO. It's gross."  

"Did you tell them, Olive?"

"Yes, they don't speak English"

great...I doubt that, but whatever...I'll make you your gourmet sandwich and then you can shut the ....up!  (with a smile)

At this point the teen is surfing facebook, because he is ready...waiting, quietly, knowing to just watch out, because the Tasmanian Devil usually lets lose right around know.

Olive..lets get a move on, you got 8 minutes for hair, teeth, socks, shoes, and jackets...its snowing.

"I KNOWWWWW!"

ok then GO.

saunter, saunter.

Teen says, "Mom, she's doing it on purpose."

is she really smart enough? 

little shit, she is doing it on purpose.  I can feel my blood pressure rising.  

OLIVE...Lets go!!!

now we have 4 minutes and I still have to get them in the car.

Teen starts car, best part of the day for him I'm sure. 

I try to stay calm....I do, really.

Olive, screw the teeth get some shoes on.

She comes down with strappy sandles.

WTF?

"Olive, Its's SNOWING!"

so...

Please, grab some socks and your boots, and your jacket and your hat and your gloves and your backpack and your flippin lunch.

"HONK HONNNNK"

I start scrambling,grabbing, and clutching, slapping a hat on her uncombed head because I am no longer in control.  I probably never was in control, hence the problem.

"OWWW, my head...!!!"

Olive, Please, just go...please.

"I AMMM!"

finally in the car.

We drive to drop the teen off, then zip around the corner to elementary school.

I can smell Olive's nasty breath from the front seat.  
The dog is trying to tongue kiss her, it smells good to him at least.

Her hair is balled up on one side.

She is wearing her brother's jacket which is totally pissing her off. (she outgrew hers)

and she has no mittens.

"Where are your mittens?"

"I don't know...gone"

great.

I take a deep breath and tell her what any mom on the verge of a break down would tell their child to do.

"go in that school, go straight to the lost and found, and pick yourself out some fancy mittens, if anyone says anything... play dumb"

"Mom, that's stealing..."

Olive GET out of the car!!! 

Get OUUUUT!!!!!!!!!

She hops out, slams the van door shut...
grunting and groaning...
takes about 5 steps then turns around and with a great big smile:

waves and blows a million kisses.

I can see her mouth the words "I love you".

She hops off with her balled up hair and stinky breath.

They are like dogs at that age, not a clue and forever faithful.

Thank god...

but to tell you the truth, I  think on mornings like this I would rather roll outta bed and go dig ditches.

Well, maybe not.