That's Tripp in the background, one of the owners of Tortugas in Longmont.
They needed a dishwasher and this freshly turned 15 year old said ," I am in".
We , well most of us, have worked a labor job at some point in our life.
I have done them all.
Growing up in the tourist town of Destin, Florida I worked mainly kitchen....because that is where the work was. It was hard, sweaty, work....but I met some of the most amazing people ever in the kitchens. I learned about work ethic, food, cleanliness, teamwork, anger management and love in those kitchens.
Everyone should work in the kitchen at some point.
True fact...
washing dishes teaches you respect and understanding of service industry and teaches you what the low man on the totem pole really is.
This girl, Olive Bijie, showed up, having never worked a real job let alone operate a dish machine, busted her ass, and made it through a busy Saturday night ....
I am proud of her.
Before she went in we talked to her about work ethic and how she is strong and sassy (which is requirement #1 of kitchen work)
and she is not a quitter.
just so you know....
I thought she would be crying when I picked her up.
but NO....
she was standing there tired, but smiling, with a togo box of high end food and the owners saying
"she did great...it was so busy.... we want her back if she will have us"
her response....
" I like money...I'll be back"
We say this generation and the last are lazy...don't want to work, want to start at the top and never do manual labor....but here I have a 15 year old girl, who is baby sitting, dog watching, and now working washing dishes.....
Yin and Yang of life I suppose.
With each birth there is a death
and just as life has it,
with each death there is a birth.
Ilin Blue "Oozium"
Saturday at Helikon Gallery we celebrated the birth of this young man's art, which is going to bring him into a new life.
People flowed in from all over to see his art they had been hearing about.
The artists were all talking and excited to see who this artist was.
This artist, Ilin Blue, was a surprise to them all.
The gallery owner had no idea that Ilin ( Oozium) was only 22...
had never once shown his art before....
The gallery filled up...
they ran out of drinks....
The owner came up to me and said,
"we have never had an opening to this extent before, with this many people showing up on opening night for a group show....they are all here for him. He has all ready sold all of his art, and it has only been 1 hour"
This young man, with the shirt he bought and pressed 2 hours earlier, clean pants and Elliot's ashes around his neck, smiled from ear to ear
( check out the Denver Grillz)
He spoke to people as they came in.
Other artists and visitors asked for pictures with him.
He was happy.
A much needed change from the last 3 weeks.
I whispered, "your Muse made this happen...she is here..."
He smiled at me and I gave him a big hug....
Sometimes , just sometimes, good things can grow out of horrible.
The gallery owner pulled him aside and asked if he would be willing to do reprints, ...
"of course!"
As I walked around the galleries looking at other art I realized how special tonight was.
One artist said " Have you seen the young man's art downstairs in the main building? We heard he may be coming to our gallery to stay for a while. We can't believe his stuff...we heard he draws too....
That young man is on his way up...we hope he stays here."
I smiled and said,
"that is my son."
My beautiful broken son...
I believe they said around 300 people walked in to see Oozium...the artist with his art on 3 full walls,
with no art schooling, past shows, or artist tribe...
Awkwardly shaking hands, and humbly saying ,
"thank you, man"
with his signature little bow, prayer hands and huge smile.
The night was grand.
As I left the owner came up to me and said,
"we would like him to consider a full gallery show in 2020 if he is interested.
All walls, floor to ceiling. I just can't get enough of his humble attitude and if this is his beginning we can't wait to see how he progresses."
This beginning stemmed from an end. The Muse who had all the paperwork ready to submit for this art show....then died.
The submission that almost did not happen because he did not feel like he could do it.
But we said, "Elliot would want this"
and now the doors are open for a rebirth.
They offered him his own studio,
A group of people with like mind to help him get out of his head and into the world.
A place to find a bit of refuge from his sadness.
a new Tribe.....
minus,
the only
person
he
ever
wanted
to
be
with.
The Muse...Ashton/Elliot
He enjoyed the opening, his friends kept him safe...
He went out....he came home...
all was beautiful
All was so good that he said,
"it's time I go back to the apartment"
The next day he gathered all of his stuff and went back to their little apartment,
unpacked and sat down on the bed in which she had only died 1 month prior to the day...
and cried,
and cried,
and cried.
By the time he called I could only understand little bits and pieces but as his mom I knew the pain.
"Mom, this fucking sucks, I want her...physically next to me and she NEVER WILL BE AGAIN"
no, you are right...she never will be.
"I'm laying in the bed and I just want her, so I can tell her how great it was, how I want her to be proud, how I did all of this for her"
I know....but that is not going to happen and she opened this door for you...
please Blue, don't let her down now....cry, be sad...but breathe.
"I'm lonely, mom, I'm lonely and scared that I will always be lonely"
Blue, at night, we are all lonely, you must find a way to be ok with being lonely...
Have a place to put your sadness every night,
then remember
we are all alone when we close our eyes at night...
it won't get better, but it will get easier and at some point you may find solace in the fact you can be in the bed with your heart and mind open and be ok with you, just you.
You will make friends, you will go out, you will eat and sometimes you will just go out because you know you should....
and that is good.
But we are all alone at night.
I love you Ilin Blue.
I am so proud.
Only you can hold your own heart in your hands and make it ok
I can only be here....
watching and listening
and Blue,
remember....
she would be so proud....
she wanted this for you.
❤❤
Each Death Brings Birth
Write ya later,
m
Such a Simple Thing
R.Lamontagne
Tell me what you're feeling
I can take the pain
Tell me that you mean it
That you won't leave again
Tell me what your heart wants
Such a simple thing
My heart is like paper
Yours is like a flame
I can't make you see
If you don't by now
I'll get through these chains
Some how
Some how
Take it if you want it
I'm so tired I just don't care
Can't you see how much you hurt me?
It's like I wasn't there
Tell me what your heart wants
Such a simple thing
My heart is like paper
Yours is like a flame
My heart is like paper
Yours is like a flame
I can't make you see
If you don't by nowI'll get through these chainsSome howSome how
by far the hardest job I have yet to attempt and let me tell you....
it is not because I want to
I have to
As a Mom I am required to be there
receiving the call at 7am on a Saturday morning that your son is alive....
but
his girlfriend is deceased will put even the strongest soul to their knees...you cannot run.
Hearing your son screaming in pain and heartache in the background
will make you not stand tall to the job of parenting, but will make you want to exhale every ounce of breath from your body.
Arriving and seeing your child, although alive,
in his underwear outside in 40 degree weather vomiting,
alone, pale, with only a police advocate waiting
will crush your heart into a million pieces.
Holding his head, wiping his mouth, warming him as much as the cold, cold air will allow...
as he weeps, "she was so blue, so cold, mom, mom, I did the CPR....I did everything,...I did..."
I know, baby, I know.
"every bone in her chest broke...."
I know...I'm so sorry, Bubba....
I hate this.
They blocked his view...standing in front of the car so he could not see as the body of his young lover is brought down on a cold hard stretcher in a bag ....
by people who are merely doing their job.
"you are free to get what you need and go"
That's it?
Could it get worse...?
it could have for me...
the guilt of my having my living child bellowing in my lap was only made horrifyingly worse when the other mother called him.
the wailing of pain shot out of the phone ,piercing my heart his wailing and apologizing my panic and fear her pain... her questions, her begging for why...why did this happen
grabbing the phone and pleading
I cry....I cry for my guilt...the knowing I was there when she should have been ...
to know I saw her broken, child as they took her out....she saw nothing, no closure , only pain
"we couldn't call we couldn't call...they would not let us call...."
I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry....
He won't sleep in a bed...
he won't be alone...
He wants my hand on him when he sleeps...
but he has barely slept,
he won't eat
"It should have been me"
Baby, it very well could have been you
and now we need you to stay with us...
She would want you to stay with us
"I'm going to try, Mom...I just hurt so bad"
It's been 3 days and I can barely sleep without picturing the horrifying scenario he has told me when we sit quietly.
my stomach turns
"mom, I love you so much....this is so hard, why, why is this happening"
Bubba, it will never be ok....
I refuse to say it will be ok....
you will never forget what you saw and the last encounter
but we have to get through this
with you here.
I am doing my best
this task of parenting, loving, and praying he stays on this earth with his broken soul
please, Blue
because without you... I will die
m
this post was held in quiet limbo until anointing, viewing, and releasing of her beautiful soul was completed
