I Pick You , Dummy

"You have been alone for so long , M"

Don't have guilt....

well, you know.

I laugh...because of course things could have been handled better.

Of course I could have thought more about what the result of my actions would entail.

BUT

I did...

and I did it anyways.

and here I am

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

say anything...

and here it goes

it's a story...

like high school

all names have been changed

(all of this is not verbatim, and some may be made up)

"If I don't tell you now, I'll miss my chance."

This is stuff love stories are made of....

"I have been waiting for 4 years for this day....4 years quietly waiting"

how does this happen?

It happens because when the stupid heart picks someone ....sometimes it dwells

and dwell it does

sometimes for years at a time

sometimes it tries to date,

tries to move,

tries to be normal....

but it just can't

it waits.

stupid heart

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

You are beautiul

whatever you have been told....

fuck it....

look at me

I'm telling you....

I got nothing to lose but everything....

you

are perfect....

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Me:

thank you

now.....

when do I get to talk?

when can I scream to the world

YOU MAKE ME HAPPY

when do I get to stop being the hard ass

and say,

you kill me

when can I post pictures 

when can I tell a friend

when can I say....

I____________you?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

you looked at me and said this is my chance....

I haven't really dated, because of you ....

I never moved away, because of you....

the only reason I came over was to see....

you.

I have been in love with you for years....

now I sound like an idiot ...

now I have broken guy code....

now I could be totally....

I don't know....

fucked

but I had to say it to you

and now ....

I did.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

my heart

I've been alone for so long

I've been together for so long

we have been friends for so long

how did I not know?

because I love people.

I love my friends

my love is broad....

so, it's hard to distinquish

BUT

when you touched the small of my back to lead me away

I knew.

"you are breaking guy code, you know that right?"

you looked at me then looked ahead.

you opened the car door....

something that I had long forgotten was a thing

you smiled when you got in

you looked at me and sighed 

"yeah, I know....I know, but you are worth it to me....

even if I lose you and everyone else"

I wanted to punch you in the throat

I wanted to scream and run

I tried to explain you to me, which was ridiculous

but you....

you looked at me 

and shrugged

"it's just what my heart wants and I have to believe there is a higher power putting this all into motion...it has to mean something"

yes

my heart is scared

not of you....

of others....

what they will say

how to explain

why can't they see

the "say anything"

in all of this...

the testing the waters of love....

the love story,

unfolding

?

xo,

m

love stories

I promise at some point the humor will come back

I promise

seriously

write ya later

all together ...NOW

Let me just tell you a little story....   

It was a beautiful early Friday morning of vacation.  The teens were still sleeping, so i got the hubs and the wee one up and said, "let's get outta here and check out the Fulton Street Farmer's Market....It's only about 20 minutes away, or so."

I loaded Olive, the hubs, and the 2 dogs into the van and off we sped.  The air was crisp and clean, the heat had not arrived yet , and it was just plain purdy.

We got the market and saw the signs that said NO DOGS ALLOWED.  So we parked in the shade, I told the dogs we can go to a dog park in a bit, then strolled through the beautiful bounty of every type of veggie imaginable: blueberries galore, raspberries, and crafts.  There is nothing like a northern moist town to teach you about veggies and produce. 

When we were all done we hopped into the car and went one block over to the  

Hillcrest Dogpark

The dogs ran and played as we talked to a few of the humans.  We made small talk...talked about Colorado, how we were visiting and staying in Cascade.  What a great time.

They talked to our dogs we talked to theirs.

Time to go.  BYE!!!!   Nice meeting you guys...have a great day!!!  etc etc...

We load into the car, take a deep relaxing breath, everyone happy and satisfied and drive all the way back to cascade (20 minutes or so).

The ride was quiet and just plain nice.

We arrive home, and I open the doors,

"Bobby, is Sheeba in there?  Olive...where is Sheeba, is she in there?"   NO, Mamma she's not in here...Eddie is.

"Sheeeeeba!!!!"

(this dog is usually right under foot)

Bobby looked at me...I at him..."Holy Shit!!!We left her at the Dog Park!!!!"

We jumped back in the car and did the fasted drive the 45 mile an hour traffic would allow.  Halfway there I started Blubbering, "My mom is flipping in her grave right now, knowing I left her lil chihuahua at the dog park!"  I look down at the middle console and see her collar sitting there.  "She doesn't even have her collar ON!!!"

OMG, it took us about 25 minutes to get back, which put the entire escapade at about 45 minutes with a small dog running free in a strange neighborhood.  

We rounded into the park area and I start screaming for her.  There, in the middle of the dog park, are the two people who were not together, a man and a woman, holding Sheeba, waving and smiling.  

"We figured you would be back."

I leapt from the car and contemplating tongue kissing both of them then remembered Michigan is a very conservative state so I opted for full body hug.  The man said," I had to chase her into that neighborhood...she was following the car, you guys didn't hear those kids yelling at you?"

obviously not...although Bobby did comment on why was that guy pointing at us and he really looked like a pirate.  Well, now we know, he was pointing because there was a 4 pound dog chasing after us.

We are all back together, just like that Momma Possum up there....from now on I will promise to double check and head count.

And yes, I know, at least it wasn't one of the kids.