Milf it up , Nana

weird shit has been happening.

weird weird shit.

is it some sort of mystical moon business?

As much as I wish I could go into full detail or use metaphors, similes , or even hyperbole....I can't.

Because there is something in the air I will bring up something in which I wrote my senior practicum on for my recent degree.

And maybe I can just roll some of my dry humor into my observation and research.

I'm not sure how it came up today in work....but I said,

"Oh, I wrote a paper on STDs in assisted living homes and how people are just ignoring the fact that seniors are fucking" 

Well of course seniors are fucking, why not?

just because I am not....why can't they?  It is highly prevalent within these communities, even within the Alzheimer's locked units.  

So, the more I thought about it, the more I started laughing on the inside.

I announced, " holy hell, I only have 30 more years and maybe I'll be getting laid....sheesh....maybe I can move in early?"

All my work friends looked at me....paused and busted out laughing.

me...in 35 years....

you betcha

Go....M

seniors...

god bless them,

 their will to fuck, 

and their lack of condom use.

I wonder if Medicare covers STDs after 70?

on a younger note

I made it through the hazy 90s with no STDs, no HIV (even living in Atlanta), and no extra kids.

A friend texted me the other day and said he just found out he has a 26 year old daughter.

I was beside myself with joy.

I'm an Auntie (kind of) 

He appears to be ok with the entire thing.

I wondered where I was during this time period? 

He was my best friend...

I would have never let that happen...

unless I was all hazy 90s too.

must have been

I'm excited for him

we revisited our younger year pact....

The original was if we weren't married at 40 ( because that was so old) we would marry each other.

He texted and said....

well, if we are alone at 60...can we get together and travel and just be together.

I might have to reconsider....now that he has a child and all 

hahahahaha

also.... at 60 I will still have 20 years before I hit old folk home sexy service availability....

so, yeah, I think I can buy into the pact...

we can travel and just lay in the bed and talk.

and eat crumpets.

 us...

I seriously need help

or sex....before 80....

or maybe 

just some good 

quality 

alone time

with crumpets and my hand.

me....and I may have crumpets....

or something

remember....when you are feeling down

80 year olds 

meow...

write ya later,

m

conversation while making dinner

O: "Bubba, Mamoo picked a white hair outta her bump under her chin!!! you should have seen it, REALLY!"

B:"Wow, so Mom…you are growing a beard, now?"

M:"Well, I'm not trying to…jeesus"

a few seconds later….

O:"yes she is, I can tell"

it's unfortunate

A friend posted this picture on Facebook. 

Limited Edition...good.

How do you even explain this business? 

Conversation between 12 year old daughter and mom:

"Honey, I got you this new deodorant

Cute, huh?  

It should keep you clean and dry for 24 hours.  

No, No honey ....it goes on your ARMPITS"

Yes, I see what it says...but its under arm deodorant."

We will talk about the shape of the can later...when you are 27.

360 day of my life #76

get your barf bag...

Don't ask, the kids sink was clogged...I took it upon myself to clean out the drain...here it is...
bleck...what the hell? two years of Dora the Explorer toothpaste, do it yourself haircuts for Barbie and herself, by the 5 year old..and god only knows what else from the teenager...
barf...
one more reason not to procreate

360 days, originally uploaded by v8grrl.

my keys are gross

So, it's not quite this dirty but if I wasn't at work it would probably have that bottle of gin next to it, seeing how G & T's are the summer "old school" drink of choice, perfect for long hours of surfing.
I don't smoke, but if you replace all those ashes with little bits of office type snacks; ie: crumpets, cookies, oyster crackers and other bready crumby products...that is exactly what my keyboard looks like.
I just took a few minutes and banged it on its side and a plethora of nastiness fell out.
I try not to think about the fact that I could probably make a nice wig out of all the hair that came out?? What's up with that? I must pull my hair out while on hold with insurance companies....I can see there is a tiny piece of paper lodged between the B and N keys which I can't get out, no matter how hard I bang it on the desk. I dislodged a paperclip, I was looking for that!
I think I'm going to call the store room and order a new keyboard, just for the hell of it. get rid of this germ infested piece of plastic.