Ahhhhh Grassssssshopper....

you tied the belt too tight.
It's hard to picture isn't it?
Natural causes...
I guess it's pretty natural to run out of air when you have a belt around your neck and you are dangling 2 inches from the floor with your penis in your hand.

I was talking to my friend about this....
Men are flippin weird. Women would never think about doing this (well very rarely) and I'm sure if we did, we would have at least fancy shoes on for when they found us.
So, here the scenario: David comes home from a long day of filming (did i mention he was in Thailand?) and feels a bit frisky. Hmmmm I'm a little tired today so i guess I'll get naked, find my old crappy belt, put it around my neck and this secure spot in the closet, play with my ding a ling and then see if I can fall to my knees and hope this bar here in the closet doesn't break....oh yeah, and I got to remember to try to stand up right when I'm *finished* wink wink.
Back to the Thailand thing...isn't that the land of little hookers, and the place you can get ANYTHING sexual you could possibly want?...or does doin yourself in the closet sound better?
While I am on the subject about the weirdness of men...
Must they really masturbate all the time? Working in the hospital you see and hear all kinds of crazy things. As a woman, IF i had a penis (first of all I would love it) most importantly I would NEVER EVER stick it in a vacuum cleaner. I would NEVER EVER stick it in a beer bottle. I also would never stick a beer bottle up my butt or vahooha...I just have a bit of common sense and getting off is not that important to me. I would much rather have my pride.

So next time you think about doing a little yanky yanky hanging from the closet bar either :

1. make sure you have someone there with you to get you back on your feet and belt off your neck.
2. make it look like suicide...that means let go of your penis (maybe you clamp down when this happens)
or
3. just remember Grasshopper say "Not good idea, Sensei".