Ghost .......in you...she don't fade.......

tonight I have written 2 posts...I unloaded my heart and then stuffed it into the draft file
you can thank me later.

I went back to working out.
Thanks Jen!

I'm determined to get abs by Oct 29....even if no one sees them, I am going to do it.
Yup...
love me some abs....
Bought new underwear...15 pairs....15 pairs of fucking underwear.
but not really "fucking underwear" just underwear.  Because I don't fuck...or have sex, or kiss, or touch, or even really look anymore.
which gives me ample time to work....
and to go to the gym....
and read....
knit...
and organize my underwear drawer.
It's rewarding.
not.

I'm good.

I bought tickets to see Ben Harper.
it is pretty trivial, but it was a huge deal to me
I did something for myself.
I bought 2...hoping a friend would go,
because seeing and hearing music with someone is great...
it's like looking into someone's secret space when you share music...
It didn't work out.
I will still go, because it is part of becoming independent.
and I love Ben Harper.

It's all good.

The girls at work asked why I haven't met someone.
Just get a boyfriend, or a friend with benefits.
I smile and think how easy it should be.
How the men I have met are right there in front of me...
and I am not attracted.
I smile politely and listen....
and shake my head....
there is nothing there
I cannot imagine anyone looking at me,
I cannot imagine talking to someone....
or letting someone talk to me
or letting them in.

on the other side...
when he talks to me
I melt....
I cannot even.

Just take me away,

escape for a day or 3

hands,

lips,

dancing in the kitchen,

napping.

underwear....

underwear drawer....

just undies....nothing else.

A race is on I'm on your side
And hearing you my engines die
I'm in a mood for you
For running away
Stars come down in you
And love, you can't give it away
Inside you the time moves

And she don't fade
The ghost in you
She don't fade
Inside you the time moves
And she don't fade

write ya later,

m