P90x…did one day..or day one

how I hate and love this man at the same time.

He is over 50…he's sexy, and he's bad ass…and I'm pretty sure he dates a 20 year old.

But today I got my Jillian Michael's DVD out and said, "Girl, I love you, but today you won't cut it…I need Bad Ass"

So P90x it was

Now my arms are like piece of spaghetti…

stupid stupid workouts

What happens when i stop working out?
Yes, I realize I am obsessed.  I like to pride myself in a non addictive personality.  When given the challenge I quit drinking.  Back in my twenties, I quit all drugs, cold turkey...cleaned up, because it was time.
I often stand in the mirror and look at myself, then I look around.  Usually there is no one in my bedroom so I take it to the street, in my mind.
( I do understand this may be offensive to some, sorry...it's my blog, get your own and pass judgement on me)
I meet naturally healthy people.  It's awesome.  Yet there is something that doesn't quite do it for me.  They often look strappy and thin, slightly withered and "unhealthy".  Too much vegan cheese?  I'm not sure.  I just can't be happy with it.
I look at people who at some point they have just stopped caring about size.  They seem happy.  I like it.  They have switched from bikini underwear to full bottoms....pants to skorts or better yet the smock.  Do their spouses look at them and wonder what happened?  Or is it such a slow progression that they don't notice?
I announced yesterday I am going to switch to smocks.  Where do I purchase one?  Bobby said, "No you won't...you would never allow yourself to wear a smock".
He's right.
I have noticed many men in their early 40's start really working out again.  Trying to recapture youth?  what do their wives think, "Fine, you run 100 miles I'll eat all these 100 calorie treats and we will see who wins."
hmmm
who wins?
For me things happen quickly.
If I stop caring...I can tell.  ( right now I can't get a brush through my hair)
If I stop running...in 3 weeks I can't run 3 miles. ( I blame it on my shoes)
If I stop working out at least 3 times a week, I can't breathe in the first 10 minutes of a workout. ( when this happens I grab a beer and sit down and watch)
Yesterday I started my p90x again.
I did legs and back....ie: squats and pullups.
today I can't get up and down the stairs.
tonight I will run.

take it for what it is.
let me just add one more thing to this nothing post of what is on my mind
If my other half weighed more than 121 pounds, possibly my life would be different.
I can't stand when my underwear are bigger than his.
It makes me want to die.

next post: lack of sex...drive

A letter to p90X...a hate letter.

Dear P90x....

I hate you.  I hate the music, I hate the "bring it", and I hate the look of my new shiny pull up bar.  I wanted to love you.  I really did.  I wanted to love you as much as I love Jackie Warner,and her spray on abs and gayalicious workout crew, but I just can't.  I'm not ready to leave you, just yet....but the days are getting close.   Jillian Michaels warned me with the secret voice I hear through the DVD, " Don't go to the Dark Side...stay here with me and just do 20 minutes at a time....I won't ever fail you."  

Every time I do one of your horrendous hour long workouts I can't sit on the toilet the next day.  It makes me angry.  I don't care for dangling over the toilet seat.  It causes splash back, even if I am only 5 feet tall.

If I workout with you, I can't run, because it hurts.  I often can't even hold in my stomach after the 20 minute ab ripper.

The daily workouts make me crazy obsessed with time management.  "when can I fit in an hour long workout!?  I gotta find time to eat!!!   I have to work tonight and if I do an hour arm workout I won't be able to turn the steering wheel on the car to get to work."

The kids think I live in the basement.

I put on sweatpants and sports bras everyday...and that is sooooo not me.

Doing pushups 8 different ways is over kill.  The trooper that I am, I still attempt to do them all 8 ways, even if Bobby did suggest my shoulders were starting to look a bit manly.  

I hate Kenpo.  The moves are confusing and I seem to use more brain muscle than ass muscle. My brain is tight...my ass, not so much. 

Your Yoga sucks...It's hardly relaxing.  The 15 minute repetitive downward dog is like a tryout for the Diamond Cabaret Gentleman's Club.  Although I am doing it, I am not body worthy of the Diamond Cabaret just yet.  Although if you were to peek into the basement you would throw dollar bills at my downward dog.  

I have looked at almost every single before and after picture on the world wide web of your "cult" and my body is NOT doing what those peoples bodies have done.  Why?

I just don't get it.  I work hard....I "bring it" about 7/8ths of the way 97% of the time.

You obviously don't understand I have to get into a swimsuit in July.

You just don't seem to care.  I hate you....

Ps.

I really hate the one legged guy who can do Plyometric jumps faster, higher and better than me...and I have 2 legs.

P90x   I hate you.  I want to break up, but I have to find a new obsession first, then you are sooooo outta here.

m