an oldie but goodie....still holds true

Me Likey was posted in 2009

here's the link

read this cute goodness

As much as I would like to say I have changed in 10 years....
I still love all of these, especially sprinkles, impractical shoes and a hand on the small of my back

y'all know you can leave a comment once in a while....


write ya when I find some humor
xo,
m

Elastic Running Shorts

We are going to now discuss something not many discuss.  Although I took a minute and googled it, so if you think I am some kind of freak….you are , well, right…but wrong.

This morning when I woke I thought to my slightly hung over self," You need to get up and run before it's 110 degrees out"

Yes, yes I do.  Then the arguing in my head, which I believe most runners do began.  "well, it is 6:10 am.  I'll just relax a bit more."

6:50 am, I could pick out paint colors for Olive's room.  Or how about I go vacuum the basement and finish up the laundry?  

"JUST GET UP!!!"

ok, ok…I'm up, but wait a minute.  When did I poop last?  I can't remember.  And although men do not understand this concept, I can't always remember when I pooed last because sometimes it is 3 days back.  Hmmmm?  I worked the last 3 days.  I know I didn't poop at work, that is impossible.  Was it Monday? No wait, it must have been Tuesday because we ate at the burrito place Monday night.  Almost 3 day ago.  I can't run if I don't poo first and 3 days of poo…now that is bad business.

7:15 am, let me have some coffee and see.  Ok.  Coffee, Facebook, think about it…and presto.  Off to the bathroom.  I unload and think:  good, but that was not nearly 3 days worth, but I pooed so I should be ok for at least 3.5 miles.  There is a bathroom at the Lake.

Shoes on, poop flushed, 7:55 am and 75 degrees out…let's get a move on lazy ass.

I get to the lake and feel good.  I put on Bill Burr's Monday Morning Podcast set my Nike + look for my friend Kris…(she's not there, but I always look)…and off I go.  I run a quarter of a mile and turn and decide to go the other direction around the Lake because I know the bathroom is closer….you know, just in case.

I run slow and steady.  The sound of Bill Burr in one ear and the crunchy gravel in the other.  The sky is clear and the mountains are visible for a change since the fires.  I run one mile, two miles.  My Nike says " Halfway point".  I'm on the farside of the lake, I'm keeping pace, sweating and wondering if all this working out is even worth it.  I'd rather be drinking Mimosas and eating a breakfast burrito.  Then I feel it.  Mile 2.75  a grumble, not in my stomach, but a little lower.  my mind begins to panic and my butt begins to tighten.   

No… Not on this side of the lake.  there is nothing here but wide open space, walkers and prairie dogs.  

I try to focus on what I'm listening to on my iPod .  This happens often, it gurgles then it recedes and I can make it to where I need to be before it lets loose.  I KNEW it…that was not enough this morning!…It's ok, I'll make it to the bathroom.  So, like the little engine that could I started the mantra.  You can make it You can make it ….I started looking at the prairie dog holes as options.  How rude would that be?  jeez.  I was looking at each sage brush as I passed by, "would anyone notice if I just shat right there?"  

Gurgle Gurgle

Argh…shit,…I'm not going to make it…I have to NOT think about this it's only 1 more mile to the bathroom …Don't fart, dont break wind….don't pass anyone…just clench and run, clench and run, 

Stupid Burrito…I don't care if it was 3 days ago, because I know it was the culprit.

As I eased around the lake and hit the welcoming sidewalk I could see the bathroom…"you can do it…don't think, "   As soon as I start thinking about not thinking about pooping. I decide I better walk so that I can clench better.  But then it takes longer to get to the bathroom…GurGle.  

I feel a little toot coming on.  No, No….that is NOT a toot.  don't even think if you toot that will relieve the pressure.  But my mind said one thing and my bodily functions said another.  

I just want you to know.  I made it to the bathroom.

The door was locked.

I was wearing running shorts with a pair of underwear on and they also had their own underwear sewn in with elastic cinched type leg holes.

I need these

I am thankful for the elastic pantaloons.  I am not thankful for the Burrito.  I would say my pride is hurt, but actually I kind of laughed to myself.  

Everyone poops.

Now maybe not in their running shorts at mile 3, but "shit happens'…and it was just a bit, tiny…you know…a warning for next time.  " Make sure you are done pooping before you run"

This is reality.

This is funny...

Seriously, it is

write ya later

m

PS…click the links…

My Second Blog Post Ever...let's see how...

Let's just see how things have progresses since 2007...quite funny...because I will be working all day...6am-1030pm 2 different jobs....we will just go back and do a funny little rerun, a little something before you guys knew me...

have a great Friday
xoxoxo

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Oprah did it to me

The other day I managed to get off work early. I got home and because noone was around I grabbed a beer and crawled under the heated blanket and flipped on Oprah. I figured it would be a nice story about rape or AIDS but to my dismay it was all about the "Secret". I decided to watch; only other show on was a POKEMAN cartoon. It,the Oprah show, was the show and the day that has changed my past 2 weeks.
Now, if you haven't heard of the Secret, I'm not going to go into detail. The belief system has been around forever. The lowdown is that energy is energy...what you put out, you get back. HMMMM seems too easy, but try it yourself. Walk around with a big fat grin on your face and see how many people smile back at you. It is a simple feat yet it works and actually brings joy to others. Energy is energy, good brings good, bad brings bad. Got it?
The only problem I have with this is they talk about how everyone is here for a reason. Yeah! Here for a reason. This is great, that means I MUST have a reason, Oprah says, so it must be true...here is where the issue comes. I sat there, peeling the label from my empty beer thinking, "reason,calling,hmmm". Am I here to take care of kids? Please say that isn't so. I have been waiting to get into nursing school, is that it? Am I here to make people, ie: husband, kids, dogs, people at work, lives easier? I couldn't come up with my calling! Damn Oprah.
The weekend came around and I found myself asking Bobby, who by the way knows his calling and has since he was 10, "Do you know what my calling is?" "How the heck would I know your calling? Why don't you try an art class?" His answer to everything...take a class. I thought some more. Jazz Club, Art Gallery, Photography? Nothing. Damn Oprah.I asked my 10 year old, "What do you think I should do when I grow up?" He says,"Mom, you make good salad. I don't know? But I want to be a Hobo that can make balloon animals." Great, I think to myself even my kid knows his calling and note to self, save money for his therapy.
For 5 days I have been asking complete strangers if they know their calling and if they have any suggestions on my calling. You would be amazed at how many people KNOW where and what they are here for! I on the other hand can't start my Secret Life because i'm clueless. I have received some great ideas. My favorite idea is to become an elephant trainer. This suggestion came with the note attatched, GOOGLE where to get an elephant. That person is a genius, he knew that would be my first question, "Where the heck will I get an elephant?" My last idea was a body builder (mostly to just see if I could complete the task) and when I told my sissy, she said, "Myssi, that's a great idea...go for it, do it for your self....plus you'll look great sitting on your elephant." (this is why I LOVE her)
She's right. I'll look great on my elephant. I can't wait to get started. Bobby thinks I'm insane anyways, and he's pretty busy with band stuff ,so he may not even notice. The kids will enjoy the elephant.
My calling and the Secret. I want to put it out there. Yessiree, Oprah did it to me. Think about it. The same day I figured out my Calling I was sent an email from the school I'm waiting to get into that it could be another 3 years before I get in. Screw Nursing school. Elephants, smiling and buff body.
I'll keep you posted