NYC and The Beast. (covid)

Packed and ready is a term I will use very lightly. As I packed and repacked, I said silent thank you to all the people who love to jump to the rescue.

I am speaking of my online family …

When I put the word out of what I needed, they were ridiculously bountiful.

It made me cry and laugh and I had to turn some stuff down.

Giving when someone you actually know needs something is different than when you hand over something to the Red Cross ( but keep doing that too).

Handing over to someone close to you gives you a sense of being able to help without the risk…

And I like that.

I received the scrubs I so desperately needed in the correct color and size…I have over 7 sets so I can not have to worry about washing them every day.

In each little gift I seemed to receive little bottles of liquor, which made me laugh ( y’all know me so well).

I received a handmade travel cup with my name and the Wonder Woman symbol so that I can drink said little liquors.

People stepped up to bring me PPE and N95….

Lots of kudos and love…

And above all 

Good vibes….

Maybe that was some of the best.

I am by no means a hero…I am a nurse….

Lately I have been lost and looking for a reason to have faith and a reason for not really getting up in the morning, but to keep a spark in my heart.

A friend said , “you may like to do travel nursing”

But I’m not super hip on changing my job and being away from my safe spot.

Then Covid….

Then hours cut…

Then surgery center shut…

Then furloughed…

And there I am. Sitting, 

an essential employee in any other situation

And unable to help.

Then a friend called and said I took a job….

NYC Covid relief

BUT

"Its 21 days straight, you don’t know anything until that day….

Call this number at 1 pm and keep trying …they take 400 nurses so just keep calling.”

When I dialed I said , “if I get through….It is meant to be…If not…thank goodness”

I got through in the first hour….was hired on the spot and asked if I could leave in 2 days.

It was so fast I had no time to think…and said yes.

Finished the few menial questions, hung up, and then freaked out.

Early that week I has done an online Full Throttle yoga class and the discussion of hope was to have “faith in yourself.”

Faith…in myself?

What an interesting thought and one in which I just really have a hard time with.  I know I am strong and able, but when it comes to faith, it waivers.  

So, as I am sitting on a plane with 9 other passengers, flying to what we call ground zero, in the middle of a pandemic, I am asking myself to have faith….and also to please help me not touch my face.

21 days straight starting tomorrow.

I’m not sure Ive ever done any work for 21 days straight….shit I’ve never done anything for 21 days straight….

I guess I will see how deep my strength, faith, meditation, and kindness can run.

I’m not alone….

I know that….let’s just hope my ability to connect is on it’s game for the next few weeks .

leaving Denver

 8 people on my SW flight. 

 So wish this was a fun trip...

look at tiny Lady Liberty

Pretty darn cool!

Write ya later

M

New Job....what could possibly go wrong?

Week 2.5 at the new job and today was what I consider a cluster.

Not the happy kind of cluster,
 like a yummy cluster of grapes,
 more like a conspiracy of lemurs or a cluster of angry bees.

To say the least, it was not pretty.  Not pretty at all.

New job:

Circulating RN in surgery for eyeballs.

Yeah, you got it...who the hell decides they want to be a nurse for eyeball doctors?

Well, I'll tell you who....the person who thinks, "sure, why not...? It's always good to try something new, learn a little, make more money...how hard can it be?"

Yeah

how hard could it be....?

I'm gonna say it is about as hard as trying to get out of a too tight sports bra after a 5 mile hot and sweaty run....

very hard....not graceful and a bit comical.

Good thing my skin is thick and I can fret and freak yet know that I can say ,"fuck it"... I don't know what I am doing and they can suck it.... period

and no one died....it's eyeballs, not brains or hearts....

EYEBALLS.

oh and no one went blind.

Typical of any job, they apparently feel that 2 weeks training is sufficient. Which I think is probably a good standard for pulling weeds or cleaning cat boxes, but sterile field?  Sheesh, I can barely get my thong underwear on in the correct direction,

 so maintaining sterile field with 10 people counting on you needs more than 2 weeks. 

One surgeon said to me....

"you ARE a nurse...you must have learned this at one point."

Well, yeah....and you are a doctor, you must have learned how to slam an IV into a neck vein in a hurry at some point too, but I'm guessing if I asked you to do it now it would be difficult...

But after all you are a Doctor.

butthole

With that said,

I am basically on my own on Monday, with one week training in the Operating Room....but, don't fear, I'm not doing the surgeries....so that is a plus....

but I am mixing all the medications and making sure all runs smooth.

Lord, 

My hair is going to fall out 

but just as in everything else...

this shit isn't going to conquer my ass

What do they say now?

"Not today, Death"

I got this,

at least I think I do.

write ya later,

m 

That is if I'm not crying in the bathroom at work

an oldie but goodie....still holds true

Me Likey was posted in 2009

here's the link

read this cute goodness

As much as I would like to say I have changed in 10 years....
I still love all of these, especially sprinkles, impractical shoes and a hand on the small of my back

y'all know you can leave a comment once in a while....


write ya when I find some humor
xo,
m