NYC and The Beast. (covid)

Packed and ready is a term I will use very lightly. As I packed and repacked, I said silent thank you to all the people who love to jump to the rescue.

I am speaking of my online family …

When I put the word out of what I needed, they were ridiculously bountiful.

It made me cry and laugh and I had to turn some stuff down.

Giving when someone you actually know needs something is different than when you hand over something to the Red Cross ( but keep doing that too).

Handing over to someone close to you gives you a sense of being able to help without the risk…

And I like that.

I received the scrubs I so desperately needed in the correct color and size…I have over 7 sets so I can not have to worry about washing them every day.

In each little gift I seemed to receive little bottles of liquor, which made me laugh ( y’all know me so well).

I received a handmade travel cup with my name and the Wonder Woman symbol so that I can drink said little liquors.

People stepped up to bring me PPE and N95….

Lots of kudos and love…

And above all 

Good vibes….

Maybe that was some of the best.

I am by no means a hero…I am a nurse….

Lately I have been lost and looking for a reason to have faith and a reason for not really getting up in the morning, but to keep a spark in my heart.

A friend said , “you may like to do travel nursing”

But I’m not super hip on changing my job and being away from my safe spot.

Then Covid….

Then hours cut…

Then surgery center shut…

Then furloughed…

And there I am. Sitting, 

an essential employee in any other situation

And unable to help.

Then a friend called and said I took a job….

NYC Covid relief

BUT

"Its 21 days straight, you don’t know anything until that day….

Call this number at 1 pm and keep trying …they take 400 nurses so just keep calling.”

When I dialed I said , “if I get through….It is meant to be…If not…thank goodness”

I got through in the first hour….was hired on the spot and asked if I could leave in 2 days.

It was so fast I had no time to think…and said yes.

Finished the few menial questions, hung up, and then freaked out.

Early that week I has done an online Full Throttle yoga class and the discussion of hope was to have “faith in yourself.”

Faith…in myself?

What an interesting thought and one in which I just really have a hard time with.  I know I am strong and able, but when it comes to faith, it waivers.  

So, as I am sitting on a plane with 9 other passengers, flying to what we call ground zero, in the middle of a pandemic, I am asking myself to have faith….and also to please help me not touch my face.

21 days straight starting tomorrow.

I’m not sure Ive ever done any work for 21 days straight….shit I’ve never done anything for 21 days straight….

I guess I will see how deep my strength, faith, meditation, and kindness can run.

I’m not alone….

I know that….let’s just hope my ability to connect is on it’s game for the next few weeks .

leaving Denver

 8 people on my SW flight. 

 So wish this was a fun trip...

look at tiny Lady Liberty

Pretty darn cool!

Write ya later

M

360 days of my life #15

future nurse, originally uploaded by v8grrl.

decisions decisions

I was just reading Matt's blog and was so happy for his new adventure. You know,from every bad, if you hang with it long enough, good is bound to happen. It's sometimes a super crazy hard concept...but it's one I roll with. Same with everything happens for a reason and if I don't give in or give up...it usually works out, one way or another. I can remember when I used to not even try things for fear (and boy I got it) of failure. Now, I put on my big girl panties and give it a try...what's the worst that could happen short of death of me or someone else, and that can't possibly happen too often. Although unfortunately it does happen.
Every thing happens for a reason... so, I was offered an actual nursing job in the hospital on ortho/nuero. Of course this is the craziest time for me. I'm in school...I'm starting a round of clinicals at another hospital...and I barely have time to take a shit...but I decided to go ahead and take the job. I spoke to the Director yesterday and she wanted me to start this week. wow...ok...
I have a huge problem with saying ok before I actually look at anything, but this time I told her I want to look at my schedule and do what's best for me. HA!!! yeah, you read that write...I said I would email her the next day with when I can start. This is a big deal for me... I took a minute and figured something out without jumping face first into the pot.

So, this morning I sent her the email with the dates of starting 10/23...which is 2 weeks, but I need to give the Long Term Care place my notice, so I think that is acceptable.

I said as I hit send, if it's not acceptable...then it wasn't meant to be right now. Right? I would usually say My Plate Is Full...but actually my plates are so full I can barely wobble outta the the kitchen. I'll find out later.

At this point I am sitting at work...the hospital system is down, the phone is ringing off the hook and all I can think about is that I am going to graduate in 6 months as an RN!!! (well, if all goes well) what the hell am I gonna do with all that time that is now occupied with school, job juggling, and homework....and on top of that NO MORE CARE MAPS!!!!!!!!!! woop woop

I think I will take a minute and dream about it....and you know what else? if I get this job...when I graduate I will have a job to just transition into...it's crazy!