Transition in Body Starts Now

there is nothing funny about any of this post

except that sometimes all you can do is laugh...

 Menopause.  it's flipping awesome.   No joke.  

I've gained 21 pounds on a 5' frame.  with no changes to my diet etc.  It's horrifying and making me hate myself once again.

I can't run distance right now, but I am still going to the gym and doing my best.  My best is NOT good enough...it's not.

I said to myself last week that after my Dr. appointment I would work from there. She put me on a low dose hormone therapy of estrogen and progesterone and after 3 months we can talk about testosterone if needed.  These are things, that if you are not going through it, you can never ever understand.  It is very similar to childbirth ...

Nothing you hear or read can get you ready or prepare you for it. 

I'm holding myself accountable because I truly hate the way I look right now, which is 100% effecting my sex life.  I'm worried for what he will think when he looks at me.  My clothes do not fit and I feel yuk in my own skin. This is not like me because for so many years, I, regardless of everything else, felt good about me and my body.  I had someone who told me I was beautiful and to me, it made me feel beautiful.

As of now, I have cut down my drinking to 3 drinks about a week, contrary to TikTok the weight has not disappeared from hidden calories.:))

  I cannot run right now because of the plantar fasciitis.  But I still am going to the gym 5-6 times a week and doing different classes.  I am monitoring my intake.  I do realize it won't be easy but I'm giving myself 4 months to turn this boat into there right direction.  

I am thankful for a few things :

I'm still alive

He tells me I'm more beautiful than ever and he does not see what I see

I have a Dr who listened and is helping.

I am fairly healthy

it's embarrassing but here we go

xo 

m

Fatty Tuesday

Back...it's Tuesday, I thought it was Wednesday, but it is Tuesday and not just any Tuesday...
Fat Tuesday. Where us Catholics (practicing or NOT) feel the need to get it out of our system before that man comes crawling out from behind the rock to save our souls.
I woke up this morning thinking about not just Fat Tuesday, but the fat on my little ass. 5:15 am I looked at the clock and said, "get up, please M, just Try...you won't have **time (**you will be too drunk ) to work out this afternoon, so get up." I thought good and hard about Jillian Michaels and the Shred Video waiting for me and turned over and went back to sleep for 30 more minutes.

When I did get, up I did NOT do the video as I had intended but did grab my sneaks to run on lunch so that counts right? While I am on the subject of the Shred video....I like it. 3 levels 20 minutes and my legs hurt. Here's a question I pose to you. Is it possible that my ass has raised itself up a bit which in turn is making my pants a bit tight around my hips? I am on week 3 of doing this video about 5-6 times a week...I have not lost a single pound, but the tops of my thighs are like rocks (no joke) , stomach is pretty tight (minus the little layer of baby fat), and I swear to God that my ass is moving up. Usually I would not be fond of my ass moving because when you hear this you think of jiggle type movement, but I think my ass is moving north. Which is a good thing because when you are 5'1" you don't want anything to move South...

I have 13 weeks=91 days to get fit. I think that is ample time. I still haven't taken a picture, but I'm going to blame that on Synda, because SHE won't take a picture I don't want to either...but I think it may be the only way to tell if my Ass is moving North.

<~~this is....not me, but it could be,but it's not.
Back to Fatty Tuesday...

we will be going to the Lefthand Taphouse to enjoy beer and drag. Join us if you are in the area.
I'll be the one with the fabulously North Ass...if you are looking to say, Hi.

xox
write ya later
m