Transition in Body Starts Now

there is nothing funny about any of this post

except that sometimes all you can do is laugh...

 Menopause.  it's flipping awesome.   No joke.  

I've gained 21 pounds on a 5' frame.  with no changes to my diet etc.  It's horrifying and making me hate myself once again.

I can't run distance right now, but I am still going to the gym and doing my best.  My best is NOT good enough...it's not.

I said to myself last week that after my Dr. appointment I would work from there. She put me on a low dose hormone therapy of estrogen and progesterone and after 3 months we can talk about testosterone if needed.  These are things, that if you are not going through it, you can never ever understand.  It is very similar to childbirth ...

Nothing you hear or read can get you ready or prepare you for it. 

I'm holding myself accountable because I truly hate the way I look right now, which is 100% effecting my sex life.  I'm worried for what he will think when he looks at me.  My clothes do not fit and I feel yuk in my own skin. This is not like me because for so many years, I, regardless of everything else, felt good about me and my body.  I had someone who told me I was beautiful and to me, it made me feel beautiful.

As of now, I have cut down my drinking to 3 drinks about a week, contrary to TikTok the weight has not disappeared from hidden calories.:))

  I cannot run right now because of the plantar fasciitis.  But I still am going to the gym 5-6 times a week and doing different classes.  I am monitoring my intake.  I do realize it won't be easy but I'm giving myself 4 months to turn this boat into there right direction.  

I am thankful for a few things :

I'm still alive

He tells me I'm more beautiful than ever and he does not see what I see

I have a Dr who listened and is helping.

I am fairly healthy

it's embarrassing but here we go

xo 

m